So...I was at the farmers market the other day trying to buy some cherries and kumquats...how do you tell when they're ripe? Also, know any good recipes?
~ThunderChaserCreate
You can tell when cherries are ripe by their color. For the regular type you think about (the red ones), which are BING! cherries, it's kinda between a red and a dark red, and nice and firm. But not too dark, 'cuz that means they’re gonna be all mushy and bleh. And not too light; otherwise, you’ll hurt yourself and it’ll have no taste. And be all bleh. For Rainier cherries, they need to be firm as well, with some light red, but a bit more yellow than red. There’s another type of cherry that I can’t remember the name of, but they’re smaller than BING! cherries, and are used in pies and juices and jams. Yum! They aren’t usually eaten fresh, and are ripe when firm as well.
But it’s mostly how you like yours to taste. This one guy I buy cherries from, he says that the BING! cherries need to be super dark red, almost black, but I like them whatever color. Just not too mushy.
For kumquats, it needs to be yellow-orange and no green. But not too long after it lost the green. And eat the whole entire thing. It’s a sweet and sour dish! Without any cooking! Yay for easy meals!
You can make smoothies, put them on top of cakes, and make all sorts of delicious foods! A chimicherrychanga is delicious! Also, kumquat marmalade. Yummy! I have sooooooooooooooo many recipes, I can’t even list them all! It would blow your mind with how many recipes I have for those two alone! And together. And with broccoli.
Dear Pinkie Pie,
How do you deal with ponies making fun of you for being different? I'm a foreigner here in Ponyville (I come from the Frozen Mountains), and ponies make fun of my accent...and they mock my customs. Why does everypony think sleeping on an ice block is weird?!~WinterPony
Sleeping on an ice block is a little silly. After all, ice is really, really cold! If I get cold in bed, I wake up and have to go to the bathroom (Twilight tells me that’s too much information).
Ask the ponies that are making fun of you to stop. That doesn't always work (just ask Fluttershy), but it's worth a try! If they don't stop, invite them to a learning session to learn about your culture!
Or, if that's too weird for you, just ignore them. Haters are going to hate! If they can't look past their mean opinions, that's their faults.
When ponies don't like me, I try so very hard to be kind to them and change their minds. Like with Cranky Doodle Donkey! But it may take you a while because you're new, and you have to introduce yourself to everypony first. Which means it might take a little bit to get to the “be kind to them and change their minds” part.
Or, y’know, give them a verbal smackdown. Rap style!
(Twilight doesn’t like rap and told me to remove that. Nope!)
Hey Pinks,
I've been wondering, do you have any advice on what jobs to look into for someone who just wants to come up with ideas all day long? Discord has the only one I can think of…~Novalis14
Making advertisements! Or selling book ideas to people! Try your hoof at drawing. Write stories! Um…write music! Invent!
Yes, invent things! That’s a good job for coming up with ideas! I mean, not that you can’t come up with ideas in other jobs. I come up with great food ideas all the time! Mr. and Mrs. Cake try out my recipes and taste them. They say the dishes taste good, but sometimes I wonder if they like them. ‘Cuz sometimes I hear them throwing up after my more crazy dishes, like hay burgers with rhubarb and icing, and with tapioca covered in vegetable oil on the side. And for dessert, broccoli pie. I used to eat rocks, so all my dishes are tasty to me!
Dear Pinkie Pie,
I have a friend who keeps borrowing my tools, but not returning them for months at a time. I keep asking him, but he either ignores me, or makes up excuses. I want some advice on how to deal this problem.Signed,
Annoyed in Appleoosa.
Keep asking him. Have other ponies ask him. Tell him you’ll see him in court! Bring a lawyer with you!
No?
Just keep asking and asking and asking and asking and asking and asking and asking and asking and asking and asking! Send a bajillion letters a day, or write in the dirt “YOU STILL HAVE TO RETURN MY TOOLS,” or pay for cloud letters to spell out the same thing. Eventually, you’ll annoy him so much you’ll get them back.
Or make a contract and have him sign it with somepony else present. Then, if he makes up excuses, wave the contract in his face and say, “You promised! You even Pinkie Promised! See, it’s here on this contract!” And he’ll have to give them back, because nopony, and I mean nopony can break a Pinkie Promise! Because then you’ll lose their trust FOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRR!
Or do all three! Or just two! Or just one. Sending a bajillion letters a day gets expensive. I should know.
Smile on~!
Good advice! I need a little help with something though.
Dear Pinkie,
You do not have to answer this but I would really appreciate it if you did. I have a great friend . She is very nice and caring but she forces herself on everything I do. Like just today, I was going to another friend's house to meet up with her other friend . I had been wanting to meet her for a really long time but she lives a long way away so she never comes to our town. I was going to go over there to meet her when my friend said she was going to come. Now I am pretty sure my friends friend hates me for bringing her and I don't think I will ever be able to meet her for real. How do I tell my friend to give me my space and let me invite her to things instead of the other way around? Please help!
Sugarswirl
[Key
= forcing friend
= other friend
= other friend's friend ]
4638054
I already got your question, but it'll be a while before it'll be answered. Please be patient.
4638106
OK! I'm fine with that. I will be patient.
I love this already, Pinkie giving out advice never fails to put a smilie on my face. You've captured her personality beautifully.
4638229
Thank you!
Enjoying it so far!
Guess I'll hold off on having a character ask a question until your say-so, then.
4638612
Thanks!
You can ask a question, it's just that I recommended not asking any, since I have many already.
Well, in that case...
Dear Advice Pinks,
Hello! I've got a new neighbor, and she seems like a nice pony. I was considering bringing over a minty confection -- on a different day from the usual party, of course -- to welcome her to the neighborhood. What would you recommend?
Your friend,
Diamond Mint Jewelup
Just couldn't resist the kumquat angle could you?
4639512
Whoops! Grammar-wise, that should be a "me," and I forgot the closing parenthesis. And yes, that is supposed to be there.
Hey, you used my question. Awesome.
Dear Advice Pinks,
I'm not actually from around here, but I read the Ponyville paper because I have relatives who live there and felt like asking you a question. I'd really like to go back and visit them sometime, but I caused a bit of a ruckus the first time there and I'm not sure how the others will take me. The last time I went was just for a family reunion, but if I were to go again, they'd probably want me to tour the town, so I might end up meeting some of the ponies I made a bad first impression on. In addition, while my cousin forgave me for what happened, she always seems to be with her friends, who I fear may have just pretended to like me because she does. What should I do about this, or how would I be able to tell they're not faking it?
Also, when I've came the first few times, I lived at an adoption agency without a foster parent, so I've never had to go with anypony else and nopony's asked me about my family. My relatives have a very close-knit bond with one another, so I'm afraid they might not react well to the fact that I don't exactly have birth parents. To make matters worse, I was adopted by a mare not too long ago and, while I love her more than anything, she has a big-time job in the city and I'm not sure if she's the type who would be easily accepted in Ponyville. If they saw her, they'd automatically be able to tell that she's not my actual mother, as we look nothing alike, but she insists on going and doesn't think she'll have any problem. Sorry for the long letter, but I just can't keep up these lies anymore.
Signed,
I don't want a cutesy advice-column name, just say I'm from Manehattan and get to the point.
So much for no more questions.
Dear Advice Pinks,
I find that I'm seeing too many dark days as of late. I just can't seem to find happiness in anything anymore. How might I find something to smile about again?
Signed, Depressed Pony
So, wait. Do you try to answer every question you get?
4762353
Yeah. I think I've only rejected one due to what it was asking.
4764417 Okay. Just curious.
Wait.
You're not also putting this in the paper, are you?
4765616
No. I understood that the question was meant for me, not Pinkie.
Dear advice pinks,
I recently modelled some clothes in Clotheshorse Magazine, and ever since then, I can't get a moment to myself. I can't leave the house because I get bombarded by a load of fans, and all I ever hear in my house is a load of screaming fangirls trying to break down the door. I can't even sleep because I hear them in my dreams! How do I get them to leave me alone?
Yours truly,
Snowflake
(Now wait for teenage girls to buy every copy of this magazine because they saw my name.)
Dear advice Pinks:
Into the Motherland, the German Army marches.
My comrades and I stand side by side to stop the Nazi charge.
Sincerely,
Soldier on the Eastern Front.
Dear Advice Pinks,
I was invited to a birthday party for a pony I don't like. Should I show up and be nice or crash the party and throw cake in everypony's faces?
Sincerely, L
Lyra
Also, Pinks,
What would you do if a war was going on?
Sincerely,
Flying a plane while playing a harmonica, Pacific Ocean.
Dude, when will this get updated?
4963290
Sorry, I forgot about it. I'll work on it when I can.
Yo! Here's a review of your story from the Pleasant Commentator Group!
5467735
Thank you!