Advice Pinks

by Pump It Up

Week 5: The Omniverse, Totally Not Drunk Pony, Lotta Friends (but Still Lonely), and a question from my family

Dear Pinks,
I’m having trouble trying to find a proper plan for breaking to a select group of ponies that their entire world, it’s parallels, and the Omniverse as a whole are all products of my creation without sending their society into chaos. I also have to break the news that their two supposed goddesses as well as their former-enemy-now-reformed-friend are all my children. Problem is that I’ve never met any of them and haven’t even been to their universe since its creation (unfortunately there were far more pressing matters in other universes to deal with). You have plenty of experience breaking the 4th wall, so do you have any suggestions?
Sincerely,
A Dumbfounded Deity

I don’t know what you mean by “fourth wall,” so I can’t really help ya with that. Buuut you could throw them a “Surprise, I’m Your Father!” party! I mean, that probably will kinda backfire, so maybe not. Depending on who you tell, it shouldn’t send society into chaos. Discord did that just fine, but he won’t now because Fluttershy keeps him in line, so you don’t have to worry about it too much. And I’m sure your daughters will understand the whole “parallel universe” thing just fine! Just be sure to bring lots of cake and lots of apology balloons, and I’m sure everything will be hunky dory!

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I’ve got a question for you, Pinkie!
WHY are you and your friends always running around or singing early in the morning or at night? Some of us actually like to, you know, sleep, like normal ponies!
Sincerely,
a (totally sober) Berry Punch.

Because it’s fun and we can’t help it! Or we’re doing something super-duper important that we have to do right away, or else it’ll be the end of the world! And you don’t want the world to end, Berry Punch, or else there will be no more drinking! And we’ll all be dead! Do not question Madame Pinkie!

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I got a question, Pinkie.
I’m friends with many ponies but I tend to get lonely at times. Do you have any advice to share on how to not be lonely?
by: Dizzy Twister (not the background character one)

I don’t usually have this issue, because there’s always somepony who I’m able to hang out with, and if that fails, I just hang out with Gummy (he’s a great listener)! So that’s my first advice: Go and find one of your friends and ask them if they want to hang out; “Take initiative,” as Rarity and Applejack like to say! Fluttershy forgets to, that silly pony. She usually just hangs out with her animals when she’s lonely, but she always really likes it when we visit her. And I always ask her, “Fluttershy, why don’t you just say something?!” And she usually says, “I didn’t want to bother anypony,” and then I say, “You’re not bothering anypony, silly!” and then she usually makes tea and we talk for a super long time.

If I can’t find somepony to hangout with, I do a lot of baking when I get lonely, but I know not everypony lives in a bakery where they can get all the supplies they need whenever they want. But that doesn’t mean I won’t suggest it! Baking is fun! Especially since you can take all that food to your friends and you won’t be lonely anymore!

I know Twilight likes to read when she wants to be alone, so maybe the same applies to when you feel lonely! You’ve just gotta put your ear to your head and listen to your brain and figure out what you like to do! Whatever will help keep those bluesies away if you’re all by your lonesome and can’t find a friend.

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Hey, Pink:
I’ve got a bit of a family question. See, you know how we’ve got a bit of a team dynamic, right? Maud’s the brawn, I’m the brains, etc.? Well, Marble doesn’t want to be the heart. She thinks you should be the heart. Now, we can’t have two hearts. The team dynamic can’t work like that. Which is why I dubbed you a toss-up between the spleen and the pancreas because you’re so random. But, Marble doesn’t like that. She thinks it’s an insult to you, and that you have a bigger heart than she does. But I can’t make her a toss-up between the spleen and the pancreas! That would make no sense!
You know Marble has a big heart, Pink. Her pet rock shelter is testament to that. But I concede that your heart’s very big, too. What do I do, Pink? How can I get our sister team dynamic to work?
Hugs and kisses,
Limestone Blinkamena Pie, aka Key Lime

Actually, I think the bladder is the most random organ ‘cause you’ll never know when you have to go! You’ll be sitting somewhere or standing in line for something important, and then BAM! You have to go pee! But that’s not really me, because I don’t squirt water out of my mouth randomly. That’s what a clown flower is for!

Twilight’s reading over my back right now and she’s suggesting to make me adrenal glands? Whatever those are. She’s saying something about how hyper I am, but it all doesn’t matter! Who says we only have to have one heart? Two hearts are better than one, right? Our team dynamic could totally work that way! Who cares what bio-logi has to say about it? Or—or, we could split the heart! I could be the left and she could be the right. Or she could be the right and I could be the left! A bouncy jumpy heart and calmer heart wrapped into one! Our sister team dynamic already works, and no matter who is the heart, we all work together super well! And that’s what matters.

(But it should totally be Marble!)

Smile on~!

Author's Note:

Editor's note:
I really need to update that "signature"...

Anyway, welcome back, dear readers, to Advice Pinks! Ponyville Gazette deeply apologizes for the long hiatus, but we will have more answers upcoming! We're not sure yet if they will be weekly or bi-weekly, but we'll do our best to get them out to you guys!

Click here for more information about the hiatus and what the heck was going on.

Also, a quick reminder that we are not yet accepting new questions. If you submit any, you run the risk of them being answered in months.

Comments

[Pump It Up]

9120475
9120475
Haha this one doesn't count against you! I mostly didn't want more questions because I've already got a backlog of about 18-20 chapters worth of questions, and I didn't want people to get annoyed that their question wasn't being answered, nor did I want to feel like I was swimming in questions. Regardless, I always add them to the document, so I'll go ahead and put yours (9120488) in there.

[Mossy Pages]

...I think this story might be dead.
It's at least in a coma....

[Pump It Up]

9427739
Definitely a coma. This year at university ended up being more intense than expected.

[WhispersInTheDark]

You really captured Pinkie's character in this tale! Added to Pinkie Pie Stories

[Pump It Up]

9627308
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!