Piercing the Heavens

by Calm Wind

Chapter 153: Outside The Box

MLP: FiM
Piercing the Heavens
By: Calm Wind
Chapter 153: Outside the Box

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“Uh…”Spitfire blinked and tipped her head to the side. “Run that one by me again…?” she asked the cleric in front of her. “Crystal… dew?” The little mare smiled and nodded, the hood of her white, red triangle pattern rimmed robes falling over her horn and eyes as she completed the motion. She hummed in discontent as she pushed it back up before answering.

“Yes! Crystal dew baths,” she repeated.

Spitfire opened and closed her mouth, tipping her head to the other side and lifting an eyebrow. She glanced around at the medical room that had been set up in one of the hotel’s large convention rooms. Last night she didn’t have a chance to stop by before wobbling to her room and falling asleep. Come morning, she limped her way there after grabbing some breakfast and… wasn’t expecting what she saw.

She assumed it would be a set up similar to the makeshift infirmary that Bliss had put together in the Nimbus with tables and beds everywhere with several doctors present. There were some doctors present, but while there were some beds set up, there were only a few. The rest of the room was littered with these strange glass tubs… or maybe they were made of crystal. They were small, not quite big enough for two ponies, at least not without being cramped, and they were all filled with a strange, blue, opaque liquid. Wonderbolts and Renegades alike were occupying said tubs, and they all looked incredibly relaxed and comfortable.

“And what exactly do these do?” Spitfire inquired curiously.

“It’s a medical breakthrough that we discovered and harnessed over the past year,” the little cleric explained cheerfully as her hood began to slip down again. “We collected and studied the magical residue from crystals that we use to store and amplify magic—EEP!” she squeaked as her hood fell over her eyes again. She quickly pushed it up over her horn again. “For ages, nopony ever thought to collect it, assuming it was merely condensation on the crystal’s surface, but we’re sure glad we did! Its healing properties are astounding!”

“Huh…” Spitfire looked around the room again, but quickly noticed something. The only ponies using the baths were those who did not have a severe injury of some kind. Only those who could be simply be described as ‘beaten up.’ Anypony who had a larger issue, something fractured, broken, etc. were over on the beds with actual doctors from the hospitals addressing them instead of the clerics. Most notably, Descent was lying on one of the beds, grunting and cringing as two doctors felt around his heavily bruised midsection to assess the damage. “But there’s a catch… isn’t there? Nopony with a harsh injury are using them.” Spitfire asked and pointed out as she turned back to the cleric. The little mare nodded, her hood falling over her eyes again.

“Oof, this stupid hood…” she quickly fixed it and bunched the end up over her horn. “Yes, it is ineffective in treating major injuries like joint tears or strains, muscle pulls, broken, fractured, or dislocated bones… It can’t cure illnesses,” she explained as her hood began to slowly slide again. “It also does not have revitalization effects, it can’t alleviate mental or physical fatigue, normal bodily needs like rest and sleep must still be met. But…” she smiled as her hood barely stayed up. “It can completely relieve minor injuries, pain, soreness, and physical stress from the body. As long as it’s not a significant or hindering injury, these baths can wash it away in roughly half an hour.”

“That’s… nifty,” Spitfire commented, slightly impressed as she looked around at how comfortable all the Wonderbolts and Renegades looked in the tubs. “So it’s useful for anypony that’s been roughed up, but not severely injured…” she thought out loud. She scanned the room a few times… and blinked, perking up as she quickly turned her head back to the cleric. “Question.”

“Ye—” the cleric’s hood fell again. “Ah…” she pushed it back up and actually held it in place this time. “Yes?”

“So if I were to categorize what these pools can treat, it would be ‘minor injuries…’” she began. The cleric nodded. “Would ‘minor injuries’ include… say… muscle fatigue?” she asked. The cleric didn’t say anything at first, slightly tipping her head.

“Um… what do you mean?” she asked, curious where Spitfire was going with it.

“As in soreness from a workout,” Spitfire specified to differentiate the term from regular fatigue. She lifted one of her slightly arms and flexed her arm muscles a little. “Muscle recovery. Repairing micro-tears in muscle fibers… you know, how they grow bigger, stronger, and sturdier through training. Does that count on the ‘minor injury’ spectrum? Would it speed up muscle recovery?”

The cleric stared at her blankly.

Spitfire did her absolute best to conceal her bewilderment. How could a ‘cleric’ not understand a basic bodily function? Then again… clerics studied healing MAGIC… apparently it was not the same knowledge set as one who was a medical student. The areas of expertise seemed to be further apart than Spitfire thought even though the doctors and clerics worked hoof in hoof here in the Empire.

“I… would assume so, yes,” she finally answered, not sounding too sure. She let go of her hood and it immediately fell over her eyes. She sighed and didn’t even bother to push it back up. “I need a smaller robe…”

“Do you think you could confirm that and get back to me?” Spitfire requested as she reached forward and held the mare’s hood up for her.

“I will,” the mare nodded.

“Thank you,” Spitfire smiled, letting go of the hood. It fell right back over the mare’s face. “Oh… sorry.”

“No, it’s fine… I’ve given up,” the cleric turned and made her way back towards the baths with her hood draped over her nose.

Spitfire chuckled as the cleric left before looking around for an open tub. Might as well give this stuff a shot. After a little bit of searching she spotted Fleetfoot in one of the tubs, who had eluded her sight before. It was probably because Fleetfoot was nearly sunk all the way into the dew. There was an open tub right next to her, so Spitfire made her way over to it. She kept her eyes on Fleetfoot as she approached, lifting an eyebrow as Fleetfoot seemed to be in some sort of dreamy trance.

She stopped in front of the vacant tub next to Fleetfoot’s and peered in at the bright blue, slightly sparkling liquid. She curiously reached an arm into the tub and dipped her hoof into the dew. It felt no different than water and reacted as such when her hoof touched it, causing light ripples.

“Hop on in,” another cleric encouraged her as she walked to the other side and tapped her hoof on the edge of the tub. “We just cleaned and changed this one, it’s ready to go.”

“Uh… thanks,” Spitfire replied, but the cleric had moved on.

She took another moment, just staring at the ‘crystal dew’ before glancing at Fleetfoot again. She looked unaware that Spitfire was even there.

“Well… why not?” Spitfire said to herself as she gave in and climbed right in.

The moment her body was submerged in the crystal dew, she immediately felt a warm, tingling sensation all over her body. It surprised her at first, but after a few seconds, it began to feel really soothing, really comfortable.

“Huh…” Spitfire said to herself as she felt her body relax, the aches and pains all over her body subsiding. They didn’t just vanish alltogether, but it felt like they were receding little by little, as if slowly being ‘washed away’ as the cleric had put it.

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…” Fleetfoot suddenly hummed squeakily. Spitfire glanced over at her and saw that she had sunk even further into her tub, only her face visible above the dew as she wore the goofiest, content look Spitfire had ever seen.

“Feels that good, huh?” Spitfire asked with a smirk.

“Mmmmmmyeeeeeeah…” Fleetfoot sighed dreamily, remaining completely submerged in la-la land.

“Heh…” Spitfire chuckled as she leaned further back, and let the comforting, warm tingle envelope her, relaxing. She was expecting general medical treatment, not a spa… but after such a long trip full of hardships, this wasn’t so bad. She still had a lot to do… and plenty to worry about, but for the moment, she relaxed and let her mind wander as the dew caressed her body and flushed the pain from her beat up, aching body. But her mind didn’t wander very far.

The small cleric seemed uncertain about what she asked regarding muscle recovery. So she wasn’t sure IF she’d get a response, let alone a very firm one. Maybe she’d experiment on her own with it. Though in the end, she was only curious at the moment. It wasn’t like they’d have a chance to take advantage of any benefits this would grant them before they went after Soarin. But assuming they were able to get Soarin back… or if the fight to get him back extended into the future and became a long term conflict against the Shadowbolts… She’d take advantage of anything she could find. And if this worked the way she thought it could… it would be a major advantage.

Say these pools really could speed up the muscle repair and recovery process… What if it could cut down the body’s recovery time by half… or even less? If it worked… Spitfire wondered if she could put the Wonderbolts on a rapid, constant, high intensity training schedule. If she could utilize these pools and cut the needed recovery time way down… just imagine the progress they could make! She could train, sharpen, strengthen, and pump them all up a bit over a very short period of time. If it really worked, she could push their limits to the max and beyond on a daily basis, maybe more than once daily without fear of injuring anypony. Increasing everypony’s strength, speed, and endurance suddenly would be a very satisfying shock to the Shadowbolts.

That is… of course… assuming it even worked, and there were no glaring drawbacks. The cleric DID mention that mental stress and overall fatigue could not be treated by the dew. It was an exciting thought, but she’d have to be careful and make sure she had every detail ironed out before she attempted to do anything risky.

Spitfire glanced at Fleetfoot.

She could do little more than just be curious for now, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t observe a little. Maybe she would be a good starting point to figure this out. Fleetfoot’s body was in an odd state compared to the others that were hurt. Her body and muscle fibers had been forcefully stretched and expanded by Nightshade’s magic, putting her in a condition where her entire body felt like an extremely sore muscle, not to mention the delayed onset soreness had to feel like she had a vice attached to every inch of her, tightened to the max. She had to be on the very edge between ‘major’ and ‘minor’ injuries. If these pools sped up Fleetfoot’s recovery, it would answer Spitfire’s question. At least the recovery part, whether or not it had the effect Spitfire desired, or if there were any downsides to it would require some careful analysis.

From there, she could test it a little more on herself, or maybe a stallion or two. It wouldn’t be hard to convince a couple of her male counterparts to take part. If some of the more reasonable stallions had reservations, all she would have to do is tell Lightning, Air Mach, or Savage that they’d get more ripped and they’d sign up before even asking what they were doing.

As Spitfire’s mind continued to wander around with no real destination, she found herself wondering what Bliss thought of the crystal dew baths? Spitfire hadn’t caught up with her head trainer since they landed, but she had no doubt she was likely a little peeved. Spitfire chuckled at the thought and even imagined the look of grumpy displeasure on her face that she had become known for when dealing with so many stubborn Wonderbolts. She worked so hard to earn her medical license, worked her way to becoming one of the most well known in the industry, landed a job with the Wonderbolts and now suddenly some local magic was doing something none of her expertise could do. Or at least just for the lightly wounded. For all the other fun stuff, the fractures, contusions, sprains, broken bones, and the like… they’d still need the doctors. Spitfire could still hear Descent grunting and groaning from across the room as the doctors worked on him. His massive bludgeon mark on his abdomen would need a little more than some tingly magic rock residue to take care of.

Spitfire sighed as she felt more and more relaxed by the second, the dew soaking against her body was soothing more than just her cuts, bruises, and aches. It felt like it was calming her nerves and putting her in the most relaxed state she had ever been in. She let her head hang back for a moment before turning it to one side.

But chance would have it that the natural motion caused her eyes to point right towards one particularly colorful prodigy of theirs. Spitfire blinked as she saw Dash over in the corner, sitting alone in one of the baths with several empty ones around her. She was probably saving them for her squadmates, but that wasn’t the thought that began to cross Spitfire’s mind.

This… idea, this plan of hers to use the dew to boost training capacity and muscle recovery… While she was hesitant to risk experimenting on a top prospect for the future of the force, she couldn’t help but feel Dash would be a perfect candidate to test it out. For a full analysis, she’d need a pony willing to work incredibly hard… and Dash was easily their hardest worker… aside from Soarin of course. There was nopony currently among them that Spitfire felt was more willing and dedicated to becoming better, faster, and stronger than Rainbow Dash. Silver chose her as his pupil for a reason, after all.

Nopony would be more perfect candidate to see if quick results were achievable… alongside herself of course, she wasn’t going to try this on anypony without including herself in the test. Perhaps she’d look to the newer members for a stallion as well. She’d want to test it on both sexes, plus stallions gained strength and muscle faster than mares so that would help accelerate the experiment. But who would she choose? At the moment, she could only think of one… that stallion that Soarin had been working with, Descent’s son, Storm. He was showing promise and drive as well. That would work, if she recruited Dash into this project, having a training partner she was already friends with would be perfect. And if this all worked out, again assuming it was possible, she could sell the idea to the rest of the force and push them all beyond their limits. It would be—

Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt, her eyes catching a scene unfolding as a few familiar Wonderbolts entered the room.

High Winds was walking casually with her usual sleepy sway. Blaze was riding backwards on Winds’ back, holding onto and squeezing Winds’ plot while literally hissing like a cat at Air Mach and Lightning Streak following close behind them.

“Oh god…” Spitfire sighed, her ears folding back as she watched Lightning and Air Mach mess with Blaze.

“So…” Lightning began while nudging Air Mach. “How was last night bro? Eh? Ehhhhh?”

“HA!” Air Mach stood on his hind legs and pointed into the air triumphantly. “I got the best sleep a stallion could imagine and had a glorious dream about how awesome my piloting of the Falcon was! The rush of satisfaction was so intense that not even High Winds’ loud ass snoring could wake me and interrupt the epic vision!”

Lightning Streak lifted an eyebrow, staying completely silent for a moment as they kept moving.

“That wasn’t even close to what I meant, dude…”

“GOOD!” Blaze yelled as she pointed at Air Mach. “AND DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE COME NEAR HER EVER!”

Lightning snickered and was about to keep poking fun, but had to pause. He and everypony else in the room shielding their eyes as High Winds released a loud, squeaky yawn, her crystal body shining and shimmering brightly.

“C’mon bro…” Lightning nudged Air Mach again, while stealing more glances at Blaze becoming progressively more pissed off. “You didn’t even think about it?” he asked with a smirk while motioning towards High Winds’ plot and making several curved hoof motions. “That fiiiiiiiiine piece of sleepy ass lying right in the bed across from you and—”

“SAY ONE MORE FUCKING WORD!” Blaze shouted, by now drawing just about as much attention to herself as possible. “AND I’LL—”

“And dare betray my devotion to Fleetfoot?!” Air Mach cut her off, pounding his chest and holding his nose high. “As a true stallion, I would never do such a thing to my princess!”

Spitfire glanced away from the slow motion train wreck as Fleetfoot released a quiet groan.

“Noooooo, he’s going to ruin my good mood…” Fleetfoot slurred as she remained as far sunk into the tub as she could manage without going under. “He doesn’t see me… he doesn’t see me… he doesn’t see me…” she repeated to herself as Spitfire reluctantly turned her attention back to the shenanigans.

“But…” Air Mach suddenly turned to Lightning and jabbed him in the shoulder. “If she were a mare in need of a good stallion to satisfy her, it would betray my instincts as a stallion to deny. I would have happily spread her—”

“THAT’S IT!” Blaze stood up on High Wind’s back. “YOU—AH!” She yelped as the force of her motion caused High Winds to sway a little more. The sudden shift caused Blaze to tumble right off and fall towards the tub they were passing… that happened to have Surprise in it.

“YEEEEEEEEEEEK!” Surprise yelped as Blaze landed right on top of her and sent them both under with a splash. Lightning and Air Mach burst out laughing as High Winds continued on without taking notice of anything. Surprise and Blaze both emerged from the dew, coughing with their manes completely drenched.

“Heeeeeeey…” Lightning chuckled as he placed his hooves on the edge of the tub. “Now THIS looks like an invitation!” He lifted himself up to climb in despite how little space was left in the tub, but was immediately met with resistance in the form of Surprise and Blaze flailing their arms and slapping at him as they remained in an unfavorable position. Blaze was hurling as many swear words she could think of, and possibly making up a few as Surprise just repeated “NO!” over and over again. But Lightning took the hits like a champ, leaning further forward while bouncing his eyebrows at them both.

“CANNON BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!” Air Mach’s voice suddenly came from above. Blaze and Surprise both looked up with their eyes growing as wide as possible. Lightning quickly put it together, but had no time to move.

“Ah shi—”

Air Mach landed ass first right on the back of Lightning Streak’s head, forcing him face down into the dew and teetering his body over the edge of the tub, falling in as Air Mach’s impact ended in a massive splash and lots of yelps from ponies nearby. The amount of dew in the tub more or less halved as a large amount of it flung into the air. Several clerics nearby frantically activated their magic to catch as much of the dew in auras before it could splash on the floor.

Only Air Mach could be seen over the top of the tub, looking up and laughing to himself with his glasses somehow still resting firmly on his face. It didn’t take long for Lightning to force his hooves up and throw Air Mach right out of the tub. Air Mach landed face first on the floor, but tucked and rolled before standing up.

“Ha! Perfect landing again!” he exclaimed with his fur dripping.

“Damn, give a dude a warning next time…” Lightning groaned as he sat up in the tub and rubbed the back of his head. The tub was only half full now as Lightning sat in it, but it didn’t take him long to realize that Surprise and Blaze were to his sides, pushed against him due to the lack of space, both bent over with their heads barely above the dew level and coughing up bits of dew as they tried to come to their senses. Their plots both just happened to be up in the air and flanking Lightning’s head. Lightning blinked and looked back and forth at the mare butts before shrugging. “Guess this ain’t so bad!” he chuckled while putting his arms around their plots like they were shoulders.

Lightning was lucky that his twin brother had good timing. Fire suddenly yanked him out of the tub right before Surprise and Blaze could kick him in the face. Lightning sprawled out on the floor, looking up at both Fire and Misty.

“For heaven’s sake, brother…” Fire sighed as Blaze and High Winds both turned upright, moved to the side of the tub and glared down at Lightning Streak on the floor. “I can’t take you anywhere, can I? Behave yourself for once!”

Lightning smirked as he looked up at both Fire and Misty glaring at him on the floor.

“That’s no fun, bro.” he pointed up. “Unclench your ass cheeks already, the sucking sound they make is waking the dead—OW! OW!” Lightning yelped as Fire grabbed him by the tail and started dragging him away.

Misty watched him the twins leave before turning and giggling at Surprise and Blaze all wet.

“Huh? Hey, where did Windy go?!” Blaze suddenly whined, her ears flopping down. A loud yawn sounded out across the room accompanied by bright flashing lights. “WINDYYYYY!!!!!!!” Blaze leapt out of the tub and ran in the direction of High Winds as Surprise pouted, her tub ruined.

Spitfire put a hoof over her eyes and shook her head.

“I swear I’m in charge of a bunch of fillies and colts…” she mumbled to herself. She was too relaxed to scold anypony right now so she just ignored it and leaned back again. But the moment her head rested against the tub…

“SPITFIRE!” a very loud, angry voice suddenly yelled from across the room.

Spitfire blinked. That wasn’t one of her Wonderbolts…

She recognized the voice though, and looked up to see exactly who she thought she heard.

Valkyrie was angrily storming towards her with heavy steps that were making the whole room shake. Comet was sauntering along right behind her, his body shimmering elegantly in a crystal form.

This was a new one… Valkyrie looked pissed off, and judging by Comet’s demeanor, he was the problem.

Spitfire’s eyes widened.

Oh no… was Valkyrie going to complain about the rooms too? She was already dealing with at least nine different complaints about the room assignments that she had NO say in making… And why come to her? Why not go to Blazetail and Flashwind about it?

“I need to change rooms!” Valkyrie demanded while slamming a hoof on the edge of Spitfire’s tub.

Bingo.

Spitfire flattened her brow and sighed, looking up at her large, former comrade and wondering why not even the older veterans couldn’t seem to figure this out on their own.

“Val, why are you asking me?” Spitfire asked firmly with a loud sigh.

“Because you’re in charge here!” she added, never losing the harsh undertones in her voice. Spitfire lifted an eyebrow.

“I had nothing to do with the room assignments. You’re the tenth pony to ask me about it this morning.” Spitfire explained flatly. Valkyrie paused and just glared at her. “What?”

“Then FIX it!” she demanded.

Spitfire gave her an odd look. Valkyrie was acting a little strange. She seemed to be half angry and half frantic. Spitfire leaned to the side slightly to look past her just in time to see Comet slide up and lean against the tub rim while bouncing his eyebrows at Valkyrie.

“Angel! Princess! Darling! Please calm yourself!” He said in a very dreamy, flirtatious tone. Valkyrie shot him the hardest death glare Spitfire had ever seen a pony make, but this only made Comet smirk. “Oh, don’t give me that look… You should be thrilled you’re rooming with me! Blazetail was supposed to be your roomie… I ended up with his wife. He switched with me so he could be with her!”

“I’m sure that was the only reason…” Spitfire said quietly to herself as she rolled her eyes.

“So be happy! It was either me or an old, over the hill stallion. I call that an improvement!” Comet flashed a toothy grin and one of his teeth sparkled brightly.

“NO!” Valkyrie suddenly grabbed him by the crystal mane and dunked his head right into Spitfire’s tub, his face and nose being shoved dangerously close to Spitfire’s nether regions.

“Whoa! Okay! That’s enough!” Spitfire yelled, as she angrily pushed Comet’s head out of her tub. He laughed as he was flung out, despite being all wet, and crashed to the floor. Spitfire was at her rope’s end with all this. And this particular situation was annoyingly similar to Blaze and Lightning Streak… only the roles were flipped in that Valkyrie could probably squash Comet’s head into a fine mist if he pushed her too far. “Val, you clearly put up with him last night, why is this a problem now?”

“I was too tired to give a damn last night,” she growled.

“I wasn’t!” Comet said from the floor with a chuckle. Valkyrie’s eyes grew so wide it could have easily been accompanied by the sound of glass breaking. She reached down, grabbed Comet by the neck and hoisted him into the air, her arm and chest tensed, muscles flexing as she held him off the ground and squeezed with the clear intent to hurt him.

“DID. YOU. TOUCH. ME. LAST. NIGHT?!” she demanded with a nearly demonic deep tone in her voice.

“GRGH! N-NO!” Comet struggled to reply.

“Val…” Spitfire said her name and nothing else, showing little concern for Comet getting the literal life squeezed out of him. Valkyrie dropped him back on the floor and glared at him, the scene garnering lots of attention from the clerics moving about the room as they began actively avoiding the area.

“Sheesh!” Comet said as he sat up and caught his breath while gently prodding his neck. “You should consider anger management. I didn’t touch you, but can you really blame me for being tempted?” he asked while flashing a smirk and eyeing her up and down as if he learned absolutely nothing from just being choked by her.

Luckily for him, Valkyrie only shot him another scowl before looking back to Spitfire.

“Fix this,” she repeated.

Spitfire exhaled loudly, hoping to fully express her exasperation to as many ponies around her as possible.

“Val,” she pointed a dripping hoof at her. “For Celestia’s sake, is it really that hard to just find somepony else and swap rooms? Just find another stallion paired with a mare and switch. Why do I have to do it for you? Blazetail already did. It’s not like anypony brought their personal belongings with them that need to be moved and transferred. I don’t see how this is so difficult.”

“There are only so many ponies I’m willing to associate with,” she quickly replied with a snort.

“Good grief, Val, really?” Spitfire groaned and let her head hang back.

“Steady and the twins are already comfortable. Pixie and Fairy somehow landed a room with each other. I don’t know how Steady is putting up with Cannon, but he’s fine right where he is. If I have to spend one more minute in the same room as Comet, I might just kill him!” Valkyrie explained her reasoning.

But she noticeably left one Renegade out.

“What about Bomber?” Spitfire quickly asked, bringing her head upright.

“I…” Valkyrie immediately flinched and hesitated. “No…”

“No what?” Spitfire lifted an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with Bomber? I’d take him as a roommate over Comet or Cannon any day. Is he rooming with a stallion?” she asked. Valkyrie didn’t reply. “Have you even checked?” Spitfire pressed.

Valkyrie suddenly growled quietly and flipped her head, causing a large portion of her long flowing mane to swing over and cover half her face. But the move failed to conceal the fact that she was turning red with an angry blush. Spitfire noticed Valkyrie’s reaction and rolled her eyes as she quickly figured out what the ‘issue’ was pertaining to Bomber.

“Val, if you’re going to be that picky, then you’re stuck with Comet. It’s your choice, either put up with his flirting nonsense or put up with the giant innocent softy who thinks you’re cute and likes to hug you.”

Valkyrie’s growl grew a little louder and her face turned completely red, the color running down her neck.

“Easy choice, eh, sweetheart?” Comet chimed in as he leaned back against the tub and ran a hoof through his crystal mane.

“FINE!” Valkyrie suddenly blurted out while keeping her face hidden. “I’ll put up with…” she trailed off, pausing as she released a long sigh, the anger vanishing as she hung her head, her eyes were covered by her hair but her flushed face and nose stuck through. “I mean… I’ll… ask Bomber’s roommate if we can switch…" she said quietly and very quickly as she turned and scurried off with much lighter and quicker steps than she used to enter.

That left Comet alone with Spitfire as he watched Valkyrie leave in a hurry. He blinked and shrugged.

“Eh… maybe one of these days,” he said with a chuckle. Spitfire gave him flat look.

“With your track record, I wouldn’t count on it…” she said to herself as Pixie and Fairy suddenly walked by side by side, their stride in perfect sync as they looked for a pair of vacant, adjacent tubs. Comet immediately zeroed in on them and pushed away from Spitfire’s tub.

“Lllllllllllladies!” Comet called to them as he sauntered after them, they both stopped and turned in unison. “How about the three of us share a tub?” he suggested. The twin mares made the exact same face of disgust as they both reclined while remaining perfectly parallel.

“Ew…” they both said at once.

“Get…” Pixie said first.

“Bent!” Fairy completed as they both turned and started moving faster to get away, but regardless, Comet followed after them.

“Sheesh…” Spitfire sighed as she sunk further into her tub. “And I thought Lightning was a hassle…” she said to herself.

“Captain Spitfire, how is the—”

“JUST SLEEP WHEREVER YOU WANT!!!!!!!” Spitfire suddenly blurted out, lifting her hooves out of the tub and yanking on her mane.

She flinched and blinked, looking to her left to see a cleric frozen in place with eyes wide.

“Uh…” Spitfire gritted her teeth. “Sorry,” she apologized and sunk into the tub, embarrassed. “It’s been a morning…”

The cleric smiled and shook her head.

“It’s okay, I just wanted to know if the dew temperature was alright. It’s not too warm or cold? Its healing properties work best when it’s right in between.” She asked

“Um…” Spitfire blinked and looked down. She wasn’t sure exactly what constituted as just right for this stuff. “It feels just fine, I guess. Thank you,” she tried to be as polite as possible after accidentally blowing up at her. The cleric smiled and nodded before turning and walking away, but there was clearly a slight jitter in her step from being spooked.

“A little quick on the draw this morning?” Fire Streak’s voice suddenly came from nearby. Spitfire’s ears perked up and she sighed in relief. Finally, somepony she didn’t have to scold or yell at. She turned to see him occupying a tub nearby. He had apparently slipped into it while she was busy dealing with Valkyrie and Comet. But before she could say anything she leaned over, seeing Lightning and Air Mach a few tubs down. Lightning catcalled every cleric that passed and Air Mach caused splashes of dew while posing that the clerics frantically tried to keep from wasting. “I gave up on them,” Fire said with a sigh.

“I don’t blame you,” Spitfire agreed with a huff as she leaned back.

“Perhaps we should just follow commander Fleetfoot’s example for now,” Fire suggested with a smirk as he looked away.

Spitfire glanced towards Fleetfoot and had to hold in laughter. She was completely leaned back and sunk so far into the tub that the dew was up to her chin, only her eyes, nose and mouth were visible. Her eyes were nearly rolled back into her head, and mouth was stuck open with her tongue hanging out the side and dipped into the dew. She was making this constant, faint, slow whinny sound. With how good the dew felt against her own body, Spitfire could only imagine how good this felt for Fleetfoot, who had more or less been in constant pain since her dustup with Nightshade.

“I don’t think I could ever be that relaxed…” Spitfire chuckled.

“That’s a level beyond relaxing,” Fire added. Spitfire glanced back towards him, but perked up as she saw Misty sneaking up behind him with a devilish smirk on her face. She quietly and subtly climbed up Fire’s tub as he remained focused on Spitfire. “What?” Fire asked as he noticed Spitfire’s look. “WHOA!” he flinched in surprise as Misty slid over him and fell into the tub. She emerged a second later with a wet mane and placed her chin on Fire’s chest, smiling cutely.

“I dunno, Fire,” Spitfire snickered. “You might have some help getting there,” she said as Misty snuggled into Fire and sighed contently.

“Erm…” Fire looked up from Misty. “In… what way?” he asked nervously as he noticed a few looks were coming their way. Spitfire snorted and giggled.

“Not that I would put it past her,” she motioned towards Misty. “But you know what I mean.” Spitfire joked as she left the two to their fun, took a deep breath, and exhaled.

But despite her best efforts, the constant pounding of the rooming ‘situation’ made it stick around in her head. Of course it didn’t help that she could hear Blaze swearing at Lightning Streak from across the room.

How in Equestria were the Wonderbolts and Renegades failing to handle this situation on their own? Unless suddenly being in a safe haven after being under siege for so long was throwing them a little off and they were still expecting her to make all the decisions. At least… it looked like the Wonderbolts were getting some rest and letting themselves relax for the moment despite the dangers looming in the near future and the horrible situation regarding Soarin. She had no doubt Soarin was constantly on their minds, just like hers, but she didn’t want them stiff and tired. Some very brief downtime as all the planning and preparations came together would be beneficial towards success. It would help them iron out all the aches, kinks, and pains so they’d be a little fresher and physically able to handle what was just ahead.

Now she just wished they’d leave her alone and let her rest too. At least the thestrals weren’t complaining… to her knowledge. But then again, under P.L. she doubted any of them would dare to. She had actually not seen any of them since they landed last night… probably because it was broad daylight outside. Her best guess was that they were hanging from the ceiling of a basement somewhere and hissing at anypony that happened to stumble upon them.

Whatever… she didn’t care about them, they weren’t her responsibility, and it had to stay that way for now considering their plans to mislead Luna.

Spitfire blinked as a very distinct figure walked in from the hallways. She looked over, seeing Matteo instantly. It was kind of hard to miss the large griffon among ponies in any setting. Storm Front, Squall, Little Star, and Thunderlane were all with him too as they made their way towards Dash and the empty tubs around her.

Speaking of their plan… And one very large and specific part of it…

---

Dash sighed, feeling comfortable as the crystal dew caressed her body and slowly washed away the aches and pains of her tight, sore muscles. Any and all tightness and leftover tenderness were disappearing steadily as she soaked, allowing her time to relax… and think about her current situation.

Soarin was on her mind more than anything of course, but right now she was confused. Her heart was calm… incredibly calm and almost felt better than usual. Whenever Soarin was in pain caused by his magic, her heart would throb and beat, shooting pain through her own body to match what he was feeling. When Soarin was being possessed and taken over, she was struck with the most agonizing feeling she had ever felt in her life, but right now? Where did it go? And if her heart was calm… what did that mean about Soarin?

Right behind Soarin… was Silver. She had asked around in the morning if any word had come from the hospital on Silver’s status… but nopony knew yet. It was driving her nuts that she knew nothing about how Silver was doing, they had fought hard to help keep him from an untimely fate… and now suddenly they had no control over it.

Part of what made the current scenario so hard for her was because of these very two stallions she was thinking about. Whenever she was uneasy or troubled, all she had to do was go to Soarin or Silver and they’d make it better or reassure her. Right now, she had neither of them. She had never been in this situation before since she had become a part of the Wonderbolts. She never realized just how important the two of them had been in her development.

And now she was in a situation that dealt with facing ponies she couldn’t lie to… while under orders to pretty much lie to them. Now that she had had time to relax and think about it, she wasn’t sure what course of action she should take…

At least the crystal dew was helping her relax. She couldn’t remember the last time she wasn’t tense. She was so relaxed that even the shenanigans of fellow Wonderbolts around her were failing to catch her attention.

But she perked up when her eyes caught a familiar group approaching. She smiled and lazily waved a hoof as Matteo, Storm, Squall, Star, and Thunderlane all approached.

“Hey guys…” she called in a lax tone as they waved back. “Saved some tubs for you.” She let her arm wobble around, motioning towards the empty tubs before letting it drop back into the dew. She blinked and scanned them as they drew near. “No Bulk or Derpy?”

“Bulk went to the gym with his dad,” Storm explained as the group reached her and began examining the tubs.

“Of course,” Dash rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“And Derpy was with us earlier, but she decided to stop by a friend who lives here, I think she’ll join us later,” Storm continued as he waited for a cleric to fill his tub with crystal dew.

“She will,” Dash said with a confident smirk.

“Hm?” Storm tipped his head.

“C’mon, Storm… with how hard she was squeezing you last night, I know you’re the MAIN reason she’s here. I’m surprised she didn’t fight your roommate to stay the night with you.”

“Heh… I guess,” Storm shrugged, but his smile didn’t lie.

“Hop on in,” a cleric motioned to Dash’s friends as they continued dumping urns of dew into the tubs.

Squall approached the tub set aside for him and cautiously peered at the dew.

“The hell is this stuff?” he asked as he glanced in the direction of Matteo. “Wha…?” he blinked. Matteo was already sitting in his tub while the clerics continued to fill it.

“It feels good,” Matteo said simply, his fluffy bulk just barely fitting in the tub.

“You weren’t even curious beforehoof?” Squall asked, clearly a bit skeptical of the magic treatment.

“Squall, get in the tub,” Dash ordered with a snicker as Storm climbed into his.

“Mrgh…” Squall grunted as he swallowed and slowly climbed up onto the rim of the tub, hesitating as he stared at the dew.

“Squall… what the hell? Just get in,” Dash pressed. Furrowing her brow.

“Is this magic shit… safe?” Squall asked, balancing on the edge of the tub.

“Do I look like I’m catching fire in here?” Dash said sarcastically. “It’s not going to kill you.”

“Hgn…” Squall continued to hesitate.

“Oh, get in already!” Star suddenly yelled as she hovered up behind him and pushed him in the back.

“AH!” Squall yelped as he tipped forward and fell in face first. Everyone except for Matteo erupted in a fit of giggles and chuckles as Star landed on the edge to the tub. “GUH!” Squall coughed as he emerged and glared daggers at Star. “What was THAT for?!” he yelled, but Star didn’t budge.

“For being a weenie,” she said bluntly before waving her hooves out. “Now move over.”

“Wait, what?!” Squall linked, wincing as Star hopped in and made a tiny splash.

“Ahhh…” Star cooed as she floated and rested against the edge of the tub. “This does feel good!” she looked towards Squall. He was pressed to the other side of the tub, literally as far as he could be away from her without getting out. “What?”

“Why are you in my tub…?” he asked nervously with a slight growl.

“Because I fit,” she replied, with subtle jest as she jokingly stuck her tongue out at him and winked.

“There are two empty tubs right over there!” Squall grumbled as he looked away and swayed his head, again forgetting his crystal form didn’t allow his mane to act as a cover.

“I felt like sharing,” Star added casually as Squall continued to squirm. Squall was about to protest again, but before he could there was a sudden sound of swishing and light splashing.

They all looked over to Matteo.

He was remaining in place and still had his usual, serious, stoic expression, but his feathers were fluffed out and his wings were swishing about in the manner identical to a bird in a garden birdbath. Everypony just stared in silence and watched as he continued to swish and splash without ever breaking his serious gaze. He even began swishing his head about quickly and dunked it once before returning upright. Eventually he stopped and his feathers smoothed down. After he stopped he glanced back and forth at all of them.

“What?” he asked, but was met with dead silence. “It’s a natural reflex.”

Nopony said a word.

“Uh…” Dash finally chimed in while trying to hold in laughter. “Right.” She said with a smirk as she turned to see Storm snickering to himself with his cheeks puffed out. She followed his eyes to see Squall still squirming. He was compressing himself as far to the edge of the tub as possible as Star continued to act like there was absolutely nothing wrong with where she was.

Her eyes veered off and landed on the two empty tubs.

Two…

Dash folded her ears back and she exhaled through her nostrils. When she came in early after hearing about this neat magical treatment, she reflexively asked the clerics to save five tubs for her, her squadmates, and Storm coming in behind her. Star would have been in one of the two vacant tubs if she wasn’t with Squall. But the other…

Where the hell was that crazy bastard?! Twister had been gone for far too long. This didn’t fit his usual pattern at all. It wasn’t like she could expect anything from him… doing so was pointless, but why had he been away so long? By now she would’ve thought he’d be back, if for no other reason besides messing with all of them again.

“Hmmmmmmm…”

A hum broke Dash from her thoughts, her ears standing back up. She turned to see Thunderlane resting his chin on the side of her tub. Up until the hum, he had been completely silent, save for a few laughs shared. Dash was still getting used to having him around again, almost forgetting he was there. He looked very distraught, his eyes not focused on Dash as he sighed heavily. Dash lifted an eyebrow.

“It’s like you’re blatantly trying to get my attention,” she said with a chuckle. “What’s up?”

Thunderlane’s eyes shifted to her, taking on a slight puppy dog look.

“I really can’t say anything to Applejack?” he asked.

Dash blinked… and sighed. Her ears flopped down and she shook her head. This was the third time he had asked since they filled him in on the entire situation.

“No, Thunderlane. Sorry. We have our orders,” she repeated with some clear reluctance.

“That’s easy for you to say…” Thunderlane said with a huff. “You’re not the one dating the element of honesty. I don’t think I’ve even thought about telling a lie to her once.”

“Thunderlane…” Dash flattened her brow. “I’m the element of LOYALTY…How do you think I feel about misleading my oldest friends?”

Thunderlane’s eyes widened for a moment before he looked away.

“I…. guess you’re right…” He really couldn’t argue with her on that one. But Dash wasn’t blind to how he felt… She had had some time to view the situation with a more level head after getting some rest.

“Look, I don’t like it either,” she shook her head. “I fact, I hate it. I haven’t had enough time to fully think it through. I’m…” she paused and sighed. She stole a quick glance back and forth, noticing Spitfire sitting in one of the tubs among the Wonderbolts. She leaned closer to Thunderlane and lowered her voice. “To be perfectly honest, I’m a little torn about Spitfire’s plan and orders. I agree with circumventing Luna and confronting Sombra our own way… But my Ponyville friends showing up has thrown a wrench into all of it…” She rubbed her temples. “I trust them with every fiber of my being, but now they’ve been caught in this mess…” She let her hooves fall back into the dew. “I appreciate that Spitfire is at least acknowledging my sudden shock of them showing up, but…” she trailed off and looked down.

“But what?” Thunderlane pressed.

“I don’t know…” Dash shook her head again. “This is one big knot of crap. My friends are loyal to Celestia and Luna, so I understand why Spitfire wants them included among who we’re tip-hoofing around, but part of me… hell, my common sense is telling me that we shouldn’t be roping them into it so quickly.” Dash glanced over in the direction of Spitfire again.“They would listen to me… I think… at least.”

“So we can tell them?” Thunderlane inched forward, his ears standing up straight. But Dash only shook her head. “What?” He furrowed his brow. “What did you just say then?”

“Look, Thunderlane…” Dash grunted, sending his look right back at him. “It’s more complicated than that, which is exactly why I haven’t just gotten up and blurted everything out to them yet. I believe they would listen to me and hear me out… but what I’m worried about is what would happen after that. I’m also considering how each of them would react individually. Fluttershy and Rarity probably won’t do anything. Twilight and Applejack on the other hoof… They might feel the need to tell Princess Luna… and if not her, they might tell Cadence or Shining, both of whom would definitely tell Luna. It wouldn’t be to spite me, it would be out of concern, at least for Twilight. For Applejack… element of honesty, ‘nuff said. And who the hell knows what Pinkie would do?”

“Okay,” Thunderlane sighed. “I guess if we’re being really honest, Applejack definitely would not be willing to misguide but… Twilight?” Thunderlane tipped his head. “Let’s forget Applejack for a moment, Twilight doesn’t strike me as the impulsive type.”

“I get where you’re coming from, but…” Dash shook her head. “Twilight would be the biggest gamble of all,” she paused and groaned. “See why this is so complicated? It’s making my head hurt…” she took a deep breath and exhaled. “Twilight would definitely listen to me, and she would even acknowledge my reasoning, but the hard part would be convincing her not to make a case of her own and present it to Luna. Twilight would insist on a compromise… and probably would reveal it all to Luna in hopes of all sides coming together. She hasn’t been under all the circumstances we have though, and likely wouldn’t pick up the full reasoning for Spitfire’s plan. She is extremely loyal to the princesses… I don’t think she walks blindly behind them, but she still might…” Dash trailed off, let her head back and groaned loudly, drawing looks from the rest of her squadmates.

“Okay, okay…” Thunderlane gave up. “I see what you mean… I guess I’m just not happy about lying to Applejack.”

“Sorry…” Dash apologized as she kept her head leaned back. “I need more time to think about it… For now, I’m just going to follow Spitfire’s orders. I don’t agree with it entirely, but I agree with the goal. So I’m going to do things her way for now.”

“If I may…” Matteo suddenly spoke up. Dash tipped her head back down as she and Thunderlane turned their focus to Matteo and blinked.

“Forgive me for eavesdropping,” he apologized while keeping his stoic expression frozen in place. Dash shook her head, curious.

“No, it’s fi—” she stopped as Matteo started fluffing up and splish-splashing in the water again. “Snrrrk…” she snorted and puffed her cheeks out. Matteo didn’t acknowledge her suppressed laughter as he stopped and smoothed his feathers back down.

“Your friend, Twilight,” he began. “You have spoken of her before. She is quiet intelligent and intuitive, is she not?” he asked. Dash tipped her head.

“Y… yes?” Dash nodded, wondering what he was getting at.

“Perhaps we should also consider that she may formulate her own opinion about what’s happening around her?” he suggested. “You said yourself that she is loyal, but not blind. Perhaps if you explain to her our side of the story and back it up with some observations she may have already made… she will be sympathetic to our cause. And perhaps she may even help us.”

Dash’s eyes widened a little. Matteo… had a point. Twilight overanalyzed everything. She was working right now to help the crystal afflicted ponies, and had no doubt already discussed what was going on in full with Luna. Luna likely laid out everything from her point of view… and was probably harsh on several subjects to an unreasonable degree… something Twilight might pick up on. Dash wondered if Twilight would be willing to take a deeper look… should she decide to tell her. But…

Dash was suddenly distracted as Matteo started swishing his feathers and splashing again. She managed to hold it in, but Storm lost it, bursting out laughing.

“What is so amusing about this?” Matteo asked while narrowing his eyes further.

“It’s just so damn goofy looking!” Storm admitted as he nearly fell all the way into the dew, Thunderlane failing to hold in chuckles as well. “I’m just picturing you in a garden bird bath doing that and I… can’t…” Storm fell in, re-emerging seconds later and leaning forward on his tub, still laughing as Matteo huffed and kept going despite the laughter.

Dash thought it just as amusing as the others, but found herself more interested in what she just heard. She leaned back in her tub and continued thinking about what Matteo put forward.

Twilight was no slouch… and as he said, very smart. It wouldn’t be farfetched to assume that she had already done some of her own investigating. She was in a frantic mode when they showed up, but it was nothing she hadn’t seen before. She was known to freak out a bit when stressed or in need of answers she couldn’t find on her own. Maybe… she would put together that something wasn’t as it seemed. She was loyal to Luna, but she was also loyal to her. Twilight likely wouldn’t come to a conclusion about what’s going on without getting her side of the story first. She was a natural researcher. She wouldn’t dare make an incomplete hypothesis. If any of her friends were to notice something was off… it would be Twilight. Now the only questioned that remained was Luna’s influence. Would Twilight be willing to alter her conclusion based on the word of the princesses? Twilight was not the type to cave easily, but this was an odd circumstance where, not having lived it as they had, would likely not allow Twilight to make a full, concrete conclusion… at which point she was known to seek out guidance from the goddesses. Would that happen here? That’s what Dash had to determine…

But… Dash wondered. Say she told Twilight, and she decided to play along… to not tell Luna, or even Cadence or her brother. Then she’d also have to keep it from Spitfire that she, well, disobeyed orders and…

Dash’s back slipped and she fell into the dew. She emerged, only putting her eyes and nose above the dew and grumbled with her mouth submerged, blowing small bubbles. She pushed herself up and looked around. All of her squadmates were looking at her, except for Squall, who had his head hanging over the edge of his tub as if he was barfing over the railing of a boat as Star rested against his back.

She had been in the tub long enough, her body felt much better.

“Ugh…” she grunted. “I need to go for a walk,” she proclaimed as she rose out of the dew and climbed out of the tub. She was immediately approached and surrounded by several clerics with towels who helped her dry off. She felt good, the dew doing exactly what the clerics said it would. Her body still ached in specific spots like her shoulders, chest, and wings, but those were what hurt the most before she took the plunge. The rest of the minor aches and pains had disappeared. Too bad she was so distracted by her predicament to enjoy the warm, tingly, comfort of the tub. “I’ll catch you guys later for some lunch. I need to do some thinking…”

Without another word and before any of them could say something, she made her way towards the exit.

---

No matter how many times Dash took a deep breath and tried to clear her thoughts, it just didn’t work. Not even going for a walk was helping. Typically, she’d fly, but two things were stopping her. For starters, while the dew bath had made her feel better all together, one of her wing joints was still super tender. It would probably be just fine with some rest, but she didn’t want to push it. The other, and more important reason, was she was sure her Ponyville friends wanted to track her down. Up in the sky is the first place they’d expect her to be. She wasn’t ready to confront them… yet.

So she walked… and walked… and walked… taking it one step at a time through the streets of the Crystal Empire’s royal district with no real destination in mind, but she couldn’t rid herself of her anxiety. She kept thinking about her friends. She was shocked to see them when they arrived and had been sticking with the Wonderbolts to avoid them, but she was terrified… dreading how she would have to lie to them. It didn’t seem right, but did she have a choice? They were all still enveloped in a world she no longer believed in, a world she felt she could no longer trust in full… but would they be blind? They would listen to her, right? She was their friend!

Matteo had a very valid point. If there was any hope to gain their attention and sway them, it would have to be through Twilight… but she still wasn’t sure. Matteo was right that Twilight was intuitive, but Dash knew her better than he did, and the possibility of her going right to the princesses about it was a clear and present danger. If Twilight went right to Luna, it was all over. She showed a frantic devotion to the goddesses the night before, which was nothing new, but…

“Hgn…” Dash groaned to herself as she slowly weaved her way through crystal ponies.

Her head was beginning to hurt. Or… scratch that, it already hurt from everything, now it just hurt more. She didn’t like it, but she was slowly coming to the conclusion that there was just way too much risk and Spitfire’s plan was the best course of action. She had to keep it all under wraps… for her sake as well as Soarin’s. But still… deep down, she still wondered.

She had had some rest and enjoyed the relaxing recovery magic. It had allowed her some real time to think about it and was now trying to separate every point to try and make some sense of it.

Her friends were clearly loyal to the goddesses.

This made her reluctant to confront them, but was she not giving them enough credit?

There was a measured amount of risk to each one of them… and despite her slowly believing Spitfire’s orders were the best course of action she was still thinking there might be a way to handle this. Ultimately… she had no idea how to feel about any of them aside from Twilight. Applejack… Rarity… Fluttershy… she wasn’t sure what they would do. There was no point in trying to predict Pinkie.

“Hrmmmm…” Dash hummed as she turned a corner and once again found herself micro-analyzing the possibilities with Twilight, hadn’t she already done this? Too late… she was doing it again.

The night before… Twilight was in a state Dash had seen more than once. It was Twilight’s usual frantic, emotional reaction when things were completely out of her control. It had a tendency to happen when she was confused and couldn’t figure something out… and Celestia was not readily available to give her a quick opinion or some guidance. With Celestia missing on top of it… Twilight’s usual spazz out thoughts were probably going haywire right now, or at least they clearly were last night. Maybe she would calm down? Like Matteo said… once Twilight had had some time to relax and absorb what was going on around her… maybe she’d be able to let her in on it? But what if it backfired? She’d kill their chances and would have disobeyed a direct order from Spitfire with nothing to show for it, not to mention it would cause an uproar between those loyal to Luna and those not.

Dash stopped in place and looked up, blinking.

“OOF!” she grunted as somepony ran right into her plot.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t see you stop…” a crystal mare apologized, moving around Dash.

“Uh… no worries…” Dash sighed as she watched the mare go by before looking around her. She had walked a full lap around the castle, around the entire royal district of the empire without even noticing it.

She shut her mouth and released a muffled growl, growing frustrated with her continuously contradicting conclusions in her head. She turned down a street that moved away from the royal district and towards the high end market district just south of the castle.

It was just a short walk down the road and over a bridge that crossed a river before she found herself in the busy marketplace. It was lively, but not hectic with tents and stalls set up all over with actual shops and stores on the outer rims of the wide open plaza. For a moment Dash just soaked it in, her ears catching all the calm hustle and bustle, her eyes scanning the interesting… and mostly expensive contents of every shop, tent, or stall. This was definitely a market for those with deep pockets for sure. But this close to the royal district, she wasn’t surprised. It was little more crowded, but there was plenty of space for her to walk right down the center, the road mostly staying clear while becoming more bunched up the closer one got to the merchants. But not even the calm noises of the market mixed in with merchants shouting to possible customers could pull her away from the thoughts that kept yanking her right back to where she started.

Would she JUST… MAKE UP… HER MIND already? She was walking, but it felt like her head was flying, or spinning in circles. She’d think about one end of the situation and conclude that Spitfire’s plan needs to be followed, then think about the other end and five minutes later think telling Twilight would be a good idea!

She was going nowhere with this, she had to stop before she went insane on the spot. She decided to push it all aside and think about something else for a while.

So… she turned her thoughts to other important things on her mind. Namely, Soarin and Silver… not that those two really put her mind at ease right now. She had already thought about them earlier, but went through it again anyway to part from the subject of her friends and their orders for at least a moment.

She had no idea what was happening to Soarin, and the fact that her heart was in a calm despite Soarin’s current state both intrigued and worried her. If she was not feeling anything… it meant that Soarin was not feeling any pain. What did that mean? He was clearly still alive because she was too…

Then of course, there was Silver. Not one word from the hospital yet… and that terrified her. Granted, they hadn’t even been there for a full day yet, but if he had been there that long without word… There was no good outcome. If he was fine and resting, they would have contacted them already. Either they were still working on him and trying to save him… or…

Dash shivered and flinched hard, her teeth grinding together as a horrid thought passed through her head.

No. Don’t even consider the possibility.

Well, this walk was officially a failure.

She wanted to place herself in a low key, relaxed environment and put her mind at ease, but in the end she was only thinking about more things that worried her.

She stopped just before reaching the center of the market and planned on going back to the hotel. Maybe after some food she’d—

“Rainbow Dash!”

Dash’s body froze, going numb for a moment as her ears shot up.

Oh no… no no no… that was not the voice she thought it was… was it?

“There ya are!”

It totally was.

Dash’s head snapped towards the voice, her eyes instantly growing three times normal size as they landed on Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity. They were standing in front of a jewelry stall, all of them looking in her direction except for Rarity, who was trying on a large crystal necklace and flirting with herself in a mirror.

Applejack immediately started towards her with Pinkie pronking along right behind her. Fluttershy softly poked Rarity a few times.

“What?” she blinked and looked towards Dash. “Ooo!” she quickly turned to the merchant. “I’ll take it,” she dropped a pile of bits on the stall before quickly trotting up behind. “Darling! We’ve been looking all over for you!” Rarity added, the ridiculously large necklace jingling as she caught up.

Dash’s pupils shrank. She was still registering that she was not imagining this. She went for a walk to think ABOUT this… not to confront it! But now that it was happening… what the hell was she thinking?

How had she not considered this? She had just willingly walked into the busiest area in the district… near where the friends she was trying to avoid were staying.

Nice going Dash. Tip top job.

She had to think fast, she was not ready and Applejack was closing in fa—

“HEY!” Pinkie Pie suddenly popped up right in front of her, causing Dash to yelp and squeak, leaning back a little as her eyes tried to open wider, but were already at their limit. “You didn’t tell us anything back at the palace!” her head leaned forward, her neck stretching as her body stayed in place. “It’s almost like you’re keeping secrets or something!” she continued jovially as Dash scrunched further away to avoid their noses touching. “Wouldn’t want to do that to your BESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST friends now, wouldjya?” Her grin grew wider with a quiet SQUEE. “If you don’t, I bet there’s going to be a silly chase sequence where you run away and we try to follow!”

Dash swallowed. This was the worst case scenario. Not only did she unexpectedly run into her friends before she had figured things out… but to make matters worse, the one pony she wanted to possibly talk to WASN’T there. No Twilight… probably still busy at the castle. Instead she was being harassed by Pinkie while looking into the glare of Applejack that screamed ‘Ya better start talkin’’.

They eventually reached her, Dash’s eyes darting between all four of them as they stood less than a yard away. Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie P—

Dash’s eyes suddenly glanced down. Fluttershy was standing right in front of her, head tipped up, ears flopped down, and giving her the biggest puppy dog eyes she had ever seen.

“Um—”

“GOTTAGO!”

Dash blurted out as she dipped down and propelled herself upward, leaping right over Rarity and breaking into a sprint the moment she landed. She quickly realized that she was NOT going in the direction of the hotel, but it didn’t matter. She just had to get away for now, and they would likely go looking for her anyway.

“OH NO YA DON’T!” Applejack yelled as the heavy thumps of her strong hooves began to come from behind.

Dash frantically glanced over her shoulder to see Applejack on a warpath, crystal ponies moving aside as she thundered along. Pinkie Pie was holding onto Applejack’s tail with her teeth, holding a silly smile as her body flailed about like a wind sock.

It looked like only Applejack and Pinkie Pie were pursuing. Rarity and Fluttershy were just standing in shock. Typical of Rarity, probably didn’t want to chip a hoof, that or she refused to risk her new necklace. Dash couldn’t even see Fluttershy, she probably curled up, spooked by Dash’s sudden moves.

So she had to elude Applejack and Pinkie Pie… Applejack would be easy, she was all muscle and no finesse. Point A to point B. It was PINKIE she was worried about…. One does not simply avoid Pinkie Pie. She was almost as random as Twister.

But first things first… the easiest way to lose Applejack would be flight… She hoped her wings were rested enough, they were still—

“OW!” Dash yelped the moment she tried to spread her wings quickly, her shoulder muscles and wing joints on the right side instantly cramping up fiercely. “Oh, COME ON!” she yelled in frustration. Looks like the dew baths had their limits, the rest of her felt fine and mostly restored, but that wasn’t the case for her right wing. Just like during the pre-recruit trials, it had been more beaten up and strained than the rest of her. It felt like it was a stressed joint issue more than a muscle issue. Talk about the perfect time to act up. Now she was stuck on the ground and had to deal with them both.

She had no real sense of which way she was going, she didn’t bother to get her bearings before leaping over Rarity and was only focused on going one direction: away from them. She glanced over her shoulder briefly. She knew she could quickly weave through the crowd, but that didn’t give her much of an advantage because everypony was moving aside as Applejack pounded along on a warpath.

Wait… Pinkie wasn’t on Applejack’s tail anymore.

“Hey! Where are you going?!”

“AH!” Dash yelped as Pinkie appeared in front of her, her hooves skidding as she turned her body and pivoted, changing direction and taking off down a street that went behind the shops. “Scuse me! Pardon me!” Dash yelled at the startled crystal ponies as she weaved through them and into the surprisingly pristine and clean back alleyway.

“GET BACK HERE!” Applejack yelled, cutting the corner and keeping up.

“Rgh…” Dash grunted as she desperately looked for a way to escape. The alleyway was curved, Applejack was behind her, but she was pulling away due to being faster, she just had to get far enough away before making a move.

She kept glancing over her shoulder, keeping tabs on Applejack and waiting until the exact moment she was just far ahead in the curve that Applejack was out of sight. The instant she was, Dash turned and rammed through the back door of the bakery, closing the door behind her just as fast.

Two crystal ponies yelped upon Dash crashing in on them, one of them dropping a tray with two cinnamon buns on it. Dash quickly turned and shushed them, hiding next to a box and peeking through the window next to the door.

Applejack went right by, galloping as if she was still following Dash.

“Phew…” Dash sighed, and turned to apologize to the two bakers, but froze. Pinkie Pie was standing right between the two ponies, holding the tray up and inspecting the cinnamon buns.

“Tsk Tsk, Dashie! You almost ruined a perfectly good pair of buns! By the way, you should stop running from us!” she said in the most cheerful mood imaginable.

“AGH!” Dash yelled, running right out the door and back into the alley. She lost her hoofing and slid into a pile of boxes across from the door, but before she could figure out which way to go…

“THERE YA ARE!” Applejack’s voice boomed.

“Crap!” Dash saw Applejack coming right back towards her. She turned and galloped back the way she came.

This wasn’t good, she was heading right back to the market. If Rarity had come to her senses and followed, she could use her magic to trap her. She couldn’t take that chance… what were her options?

She looked up, trying to ignore the rapid, heavy, THUMP THUMP THUMP of Applejack’s hooves close behind her. The back alley was a narrow path… on one side, the back sides of several shops, on the other, a high wall that had many boxes, containers, and trash bins. The wall was just high enough that Dash was confident she couldn’t jump high enough to reach it... but…

She wasn’t out of ideas… maybe a conventional jump wouldn’t do it. She knew one thing that might work. With little time to think, she took a short hop into the air, positioning her front and back hooves so one was slightly higher than the other. She had never tried this while not being in flight… so she hoped it would work! The moment her lowered hooves touched, she slammed the other two down, using Storm Front’s surface tap method.

She yelped as she propelled upward, easily reaching a height higher than she could through jumping alone… but it might have been a good idea to put herself at more of an angle first. She was up in the air, but not close enough to reach for the top of the wall. She flailed and swiped her hooves, afraid to open her wings for just one pump after they had cramped up.

“What the hey?!” Applejack’s surprised voice reached Dash’s ears. She had clearly surprised her pursuer, she just had to finish the attempt! But… she wasn’t close enough.

But chance would have it that she was passing right over a stack of crates that was stacked unusually high. She blinked as she looked down. She was certain that those boxes weren’t there before she jumped. But she didn’t have time to think about it. She reached her hooves down, and repeated the surface tap motions off the boxes, propelling herself again… way higher than she wanted.

“Whooooaaaaaa!!!!!” Dash kicked her hooves in the air as she arced right over the wall and…

She probably should have thought about what was on the other side… It was the outer rim of the market plaza… and she had crossed a bridge to get in…

“AHHHH!” Dash yelped and galloped in midair, resisting her pegasus reflexes and keeping her wings folded as she plunged right towards the river that separated the royal district from the market.

Several crystal guards atop the wall watched with blank, confused expressions as Dash flung over them, arced down, and plunged right into the river with a loud splash.

“BLARGH!” Dash grunted and coughed as she rose above the water and looked around frantically. Well… she got away. It wasn’t pretty but—

SPROOOOOING

Dash’s eyes widened as she heard what sounded like a large springing noise. She looked up to see Pinkie Pie shoot up over the wall and fly over the increasingly confused guards.

“LOOK OUT BELOW!!!!!!!” Pinkie yelled, giggling as she tucked her body and plunged down.

“AHHH!!!!” Dash yelped trying to swim to the other side, but she was a flyer, not a swimmer, and barely moved much at all before Pinkie landed in front of her with a loud SPA-LOOSH.

Dash winced, shielding herself as the water splashed against her face. When she regained her senses, Pinkie was right in front of her, wearing sunglasses and relaxing in an inner tube, drinking some iced tea.

“Pool’s closed, Dashie! Can ya tell us now?!” she said while tipping her sunglasses down and giggling.

“DAMMIT!” Dash frantically swum around her.

“Well? Tell us tell us tell us tell us!” Pinkie pressed, never physically reaching for Dash, but repeating the demand over and over again as Dash grabbed a ladder on the other side and furiously climbed out. She immediately set her hooves and shook herself out violently.

“STOP RUNNIN’ YOU!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding…” Dash gritted her teeth as she looked and saw Applejack crossing the bridge down the road and turning towards her again.

She turned and broke into a gallop again, ignoring her not quite dry fur and mane as she continued to run. What was it going to take to shake these two?!

She blinked as she heard a puttering, rumbling sound. She looked down into the river next to the road and saw Pinkie standing on her back hooves on the inner tube… which now had a motor attached to it, pushing it along and keeping up with her. Pinkie has giggling and pointing forward as if she was racing Dash.

This was getting her nowhere… If it were just Applejack, she’d have gotten away by now, it was Pinkie that was continuously foiling her escape. Together the two were a formidable team, Pinkie cutting her off at every turn and allowing Applejack to keep up despite being slower than her.

Now back in the royal district, Dash didn’t know where she was going to go, it was smaller, and there were few places to hide. She broke down a side street, passing by several high end houses, turning and weaving down every small street she could find, but the result was always the same.

As soon as she lost Applejack… Pinkie would slow her down long enough for Applejack to catch up.

Where could she go? She could hide from Applejack all she wanted, but Pinkie would find her no matter where she hid… unless she was anticipating Dash’s moves… you could never rule out anything with Pinkie…

Dash turned down another street, once again losing Applejack for a moment… and her eyes landed on a particular building.

The Royal District Library.

At first it was just another building, but before she could pass by it… Dash found herself having… a strange thought.

For some reason… Dash felt like this would be the place that would be her salvation.

Why the library? It made no sense, how was it any different than the rest of her hiding spots? Pinkie found her every time.

But some strange hunch… a feeling she couldn’t describe, told her to try it.

So with Applejack still not around the corner, she cut left and ducked into the library.

Several ponies turned and looked as Dash rushed in, but Dash didn’t bother addressing them. She just turned and looked outside.

Applejack ran right by.

Okay, that was normal, but… Dash covered her eyes and slowly turned.

“I know…” she said to herself with a sigh. “She’ll be right behind me…”

She turned… and removed her arm from her eyes.

“Are you okay, Miss?”

Dash blinked as she stared into the eyes of an old, scruffy unicorn stallion. She looked around to see all eyes in the library on her.

Pinkie was nowhere to be seen.

“Uh…” Dash gritted her teeth and blushed a little in embarrassment. “Yeah… sorry, I’m fine.”

The old stallion shrugged and turned to back about his business, as did the rest. Dash kept glancing around, not moving from her spot for a moment. Pinkie wasn’t anywhere… did she… actually elude Pinkie?

“Hmm…” Dash hummed. She refused to be so sure, it was never that easy, so she began quietly walking through the library, keeping her eyes peeled, but no matter where she turned… no Pinkie Pie.

Dash found this very strange, and not just because she actually managed to lose Pinkie. It was the fact that she felt drawn into the place by some unknown feeling… while also losing Pinkie in the process. She felt like she was guided here.

She decided not to think too hard about it. If she actually got away, she’d hide in here for a while until making an attempt to escape, so she looked for a nice, secluded area.

She stopped when she saw a door marked “reading room”. She stared at the door for several seconds.

Why not? If she was going to wait, maybe they had some Daring Do books. She reached for the door and grabbed the doorknob. She looked over her shoulder, taking her eyes off the door as she opened it, turned around, and slowly backed into the room. Better to be safe than sorry, right? She kept her eyes darting back and forth down the halls until she closed the door behind her.

But the moment the door clicked shut. She blinked.

Something just happened. It was only for an instant, but she swore as soon as the door shut and her eyes closed and opened, something changed around her. Was it dimmer? It was bright as day when she initially looked in.

She spun around… and stared blankly into the room.

It was suddenly dark in the room. There was a window on the opposite wall and… it was night time outside? There were no lights on, the only light being cast into the room was a large fireplace, spreading a flickering glow into the room. The room itself was a large rectangular space, every wall covered with large bookshelves save for the middle of the left side, which had the large fireplace, and a space to sit and read in front of it.

“Uh…” Dash uttered. “Wha…?”

Then it hit her.

Sudden, random, scenery change…

Nothing seemed right compared to what she expected to see…

Whenever she found herself in a situation that made absolutely zero sense, whether it be complete environmental changes or situational what-the-fuckery…

There was only ONE pony that did this.

She blinked.

And in the instant she blinked, something else appeared by the fire. It was a wheelchair… and a bald pony was sitting in it, wearing what looked like a black robe. Dash’s ears perked up as the noise of a choir chanting a somber melody suddenly filled the room.

The more weird stuff that happened, the more Dash flattened her brow. She started walking towards the pony, and as she grew near, the colors of the pony became clearer against the flickering light of the fire.

Green… and even though he didn’t have his mane, there was a blue tail sticking out the back of the wheelchair.

As if there was ever any doubt…

It was Twister.

“Well it’s about damn time,” Dash said as she approached him, paying absolutely no mind to the weird scene around her or the odd ambient singing that filled the room. She walked around to the other side of him, looking at him carefully. He was staring into the fire with a very serious expression. Dash snorted and furrowed her brow. “Just where the hell have you been?”

“Funny…” Twister suddenly spoke, causing Dash’s ears to stand up. He didn’t look at her, he only sighed. “I can look back on a life of silliness… Pranks played… Jokes executed… Chuckles incited… I’ve accomplished more than most silly ponies without the use of my brain…”

Dash looked towards the fire and back at him, never losing her unamused expression. She wasn’t getting out of this, was she?

“What…” Twister swallowed. “What MAKES… a silly pony, Rainbow Dash?” he asked her. Dash only lifted an eyebrow. “Is it being prepared to pull the right gag? The right parody? Whatever the jest? Isn’t that what makes… a silly pony?”

Dash snorted, already fed up.

“That and another pony that wants to pound you flat,” she replied sharply.

Twister didn’t say anything for a moment, but tipped his head down a little.

“You’re joking, but…” he sighed. “Perhaps you’re right…” he paused. “One to annoy… one to amuse. But… the one I used to make laugh… She…” Twister sniffled quietly. It sounded like he was choking up. “She was the light of my life…”

Dash blinked for a moment, she wasn’t thrilled with this, but that one line reminded her of how he always found a way to bring up this lost love interest of his.

“Are you surprised at my tears, Dash?” Twister asked, breaking her from her brief thoughts. “Silly ponies… Also cry…” he sniffled and looked down. “Silly ponies… also… cry…”

“Twister, are you done?” Dash asked with an annoyed grunt. She flinched as the fire went out, plunging the room into darkness. The lights suddenly came on, a metal shutter slammed closed over the window, and Twister’s chair had changed from a wheelchair to an incredibly comfortable looking swivel chair. The rest of the room looked exactly the same, and Twister was still bald, but his black robe had been replaced by a beige pantsuit.

The chair turned towards Dash, and Twister faced her, smiling. He had a scar going down the left side of his face through his eye. In his lap, was a small red fox sprawled over his legs with its front legs and paws hanging over the side. It looked… slightly odd, with a head of hair and an expression on its face like it was having a serious case of sensory overload mixed with intense confusion as Twister gently stroked it like one would a cat.

“I have been waiting for you, Ms. Dash…” Twister said in a smooth, sinister voice that resembled a cliché, recurring villain from a series of super spy movies.

“Twister…” Dash growled, bearing her teeth slightly. “Cut it out and let’s go. I don’t know what the hell you were doing all this time, but we have an important mission coming up. I need to catch you up on everything happening and—”

“Ms. Dash, you underestimate my information network,” Twister grinned as he started petting the fox a little faster. The fox squeaked and started squirming, biting his leg and scratching at him, but Twister didn’t react as the fox more or less shredded the leg of his pants. “I have eyes everywhere, not one detail goes missing.”

“That’s it,” Dash grumbled and reached for him.

“Quite unfortunate about Soarin, yes?” he said before she could touch him. Dash stopped in her tracks and her eyes widened.

Twister chuckled as he let the fox go. The moment it was free, it leapt off him and scurried away. With a loud metallic CREEEEEEEAK, the pantsuit opened like a door and Twister stepped out of it. He rubbed his face, wiping the scar right off as he placed all four hooves on the floor and bounced his eyebrows at her as the pantsuit closed behind him with a loud SLAM.

“Let’s see…” Twister began in his normal voice as he began walking in a circle around Dash. Everything about him was back to normal… except his mane was still gone. “After I skillfully blocked Nightshade’s hoof with my face and saved Storm Front from being subjected to any more punishment… You and Squall bravely engaged Nightshade to help Soarin… Soarin didn’t like that you were being beaten, so he took a fatal risk and pushed Nightshade out of the Nimbus… You all followed, but despite your best efforts, Nightshade broke the horn before you could reach him. Matteo pushed you with all his might, but you were not able to touch him in time… and his body was taken over by the spirit of the Old King Sombra…”

Dash stared blankly as Twister continued to walk around her.

“Sombra proceeded to show you how overpowered he is compared to everypony in this day and age… smacking around everypony that was dumb enough to attack him as he made his way towards the only one he actually wanted to attack… but you touched him, and it somehow gave Soarin enough of a hoofhold to hold him back! That was pretty impressive by the way. Now he’s gone, but you don’t know where… You all had a little powwow and discussed several things that you haven’t been told because the gods are filthy liars… and now Captain Spitfire’s plan is to mislead them so you can all approach Sombra without them, taking note that he didn’t really seem to want to hurt any of you! That sure doesn’t fit the history books, but at this point, what does? For all you know, ol’ Somber Womber might be a swell guy!”

Dash’s jaw was slowly dropping as he went on. She didn’t know why she was surprised, Twister had pulled this in the past, but… it was so elaborate, as if he was never gone.

“But PLOT TWIST!” he briefly turned and wiggled his butt in her face. “Your old friends from Ponyville are here! And you have no idea what to do about it. You decided to avoid them because you aren’t sure if they’ll be willing to listen to you about Luna, their loyalty to her and their attachment to your old world casting a cloud over your trust in them.” He stopped in front of her and grinned wider. “By the way… you should thank me for the stack of boxes…”

“Wha…?!”

“And the strange feeling you felt in your gut when you saw the library…” He looked up and tapped his chin. “And for misdirecting the silly friend of yours to a candy shop with her favorite chocolates… Oh, and I hope your number one apple enthusiast friend likes the pear garden she fell face first into while chasing a shadow of you.”

“Y… you did those things?” Dash asked in disbelief.

“I had to step in, it was getting hard to watch!” he snickered. “But…” he leaned towards her and looked her directly in the eye. “Let’s be perfectly honest here… Should you really be avoiding those who, deep down, you truly believe will listen to you and trust you?”

Dash stared silently, her mouth agape.

“And you believe ALL of them will listen, not just Twilight. Don’t kid yourself. You really think all the time you spent defending Equestria with them suddenly doesn’t mean a thing?” He suddenly lifted an old telephone to his ear. “555-COME-ON-NOW…”

Dash reclined slightly, her eye twitching as she closed her mouth and swallowed.

“Hold on… how did you know all of that?!” she demanded. She had spoken to Thunderlane about Twilight, but she had yet to express vocally, in any shape or form, that she had a slight feeling that they would all listen. She hadn’t given it much thought, but it was there, in the back of her head, being overpowered by the other possible outcomes. It was as if Twister had stuffed his hoof into her mind and rummaged through the rest until he found it.

“I have my ways of knowing!” Twister giggled as he dropped the phone, he suddenly shot up right in front of her and sniffed several times. “Might be the way you smell.” He disappeared and popped up on the other side of her, jamming his nose against her cheek and taking a long, loud whiff. “Ah… you smell like the freshly printed pages of a Mane Austin/Yakish soap opera crossover novel written in a basement by a desperate fanfiction author…”

“Uh…” Dash went back to furrowing her brow, his weirdness pulling her right out of her shock.

“By the wayhow…” Twister suddenly pulled back and slid back in front of her. “I’ve noticed something… and it’s starting to bother me a little…” he said while rubbing his chin. “As we’ve shared our little adventures… I’ve seriously begun to wonder why you’ve never been curious… You never ask me to explain myself!”

Dash scrunched her nose.

“I ask you that nearly every day, Twister, and you never give me a straight answer,”
Dash replied sharply.

“Nonononononononono!” Twister shook his head and hooves so fast that they were blurry for a moment. He stopped and rushed forward, smushing their noses together lightly. “You ask me WHAT I’m doing… not HOW I do it!” he clarified. Dash lifted an eyebrow.

“I’m pretty sure I have…”

“DON’T BOTHER ME WITH THE DETAILS!” he barked before appearing beside her and draping a hoof over her shoulders. “ASK… ME…” he demanded as his eyes gained a soft glow and his wide, toothy grin glowed along with it. Dash ignored the random light effects and sighed, giving in.

“Okay, how do…” she paused for a moment as Twister’s eyes suddenly started moving in opposite directions and his mouth became a flat line. “How… do…” Dash’s face scrunched as his face kept rearranging itself. “You do… what… you… do?”

The instant she finished the question, Twister suddenly whipped away from her, spinning so fast that he looked like a green tornado while making a sound that resembled a vacuum cleaner making love to a power drill.

He stopped a few yards away, standing upright on his hind legs with his back turned to her. He was wearing a black suit and pants. He swiftly turned around and faced her, causing Dash to take a step backwards in surprise at the odd sight. Along with the black suit, he sported a red tie and a white shirt underneath, but the weirdest thing of all… was that his face was gone… completely gone. No eyes, nose, or mouth. He still had his ears, but his head had become a featureless oval… and there was a big blue question mark in the middle of it. He kept one arm folded around his back, holding the other one out with the bottom of his hoof turned upright.

>Be me.

>Be pony.

>Have a few screws loose.

>So loose that an orangutan couldn’t tighten them with locking pliers.

>All around me are oblivious to my inner workings.

>Regardless, I am still able to perceive my fellow componiets.

>Still able to realize that the synapomorphy nature of bilateral symmetry implies a shared hereditary history between myself and the others.

>Without we are the same, yet within we are not.

>Our bodies are of similar natural build, yet our minds are entirely apart.

>Realize these little things intrigue me despite grand wonders on a scale far beyond the space between us.

>On a clear night one with a keen eye can distinguish a Quasar from a star.

>An active galactic nucleus of very high luminosity believed to be powered by accretion of material into supermassive black holes in the nuclei of distant galaxies making these luminous versions of the general class of objects known as active galaxies on scales we can never truly comprehend.

>Yet I’m more interested in why the mare behind the shop counter decided to charge me five and a half bits for a gallon of milk instead of four two weeks ago.

>My almonds have been activated.

>Spaghetti explodes from my saddlebags as I begin to acknowledge things far beyond the basic understandings of time and space.

>Trigonometric relation between the sun zenith and shadow cast by surrounding objects confirm Aristopony’s hypothesis that the world is round.

>Furthermore this solar position confirms that it is not the proper season in which stallions engage in sexual diddles.

>Either way being stiffed an extra bit and a half for a gallon of milk confirms that this fiscally assertive mare shall not suffice.

>Realize that a mild-mannered female of my own species will not be sufficient to allow the true strength of the nut.

>But I digress.

>Almonds are beyond activated and on the verge of becoming cashews.

>Contemplate and hypothesize my own existence is contingent on absurd cycles of matter-exchange driven by the fusion of hydrogen into increasingly complex atomic assemblages and free fundamental particles.

>The plane between my mind and the greater forces of reality merge.

>Cashew transformation is complete and now evolving into walnuts.

>I break free of my chains and the bigger picture of who dictates all things begins to paint itself.

>Realize that my life is merely a tale told by a moron writing a story that's over a million words with chapters long enough to fill a whole book each and make M.A. Larson flip him the bird.

Twister remained in place, but went no further. Dash stared blankly at him, her eyelids twitching unevenly as she tried to keep her brain from blowing apart.

“Twister…” she threw her arms out. “What… the… FUCK?!”

Twister suddenly vanished, but the suit remained, falling into a pile on the floor. The next instant he was beside her again, his face was back, but he was still missing his mane.

“What?” he chuckled. “You mean to tell me you didn’t understand that? I couldn’t possibly have made it any simpler!” He placed his arm over her shoulder again and Dash just let it happen, she knew she was stuck until he was done. “Y’see, Dash…” He poked her in the chest. “You have a problem. Oh, but don’t worry, it’s a common one! One that everypony else in the world has.” He suddenly forced both of them to turn and face a wall. He threw a hoof out in front of them and his eyes lit up as if he was pointing to a horizon even though there was only a wall roughly five yards away. “You are trapped in this little prison called… reality. It’s the base of all things, the rules of the world and how you see it, choose to see it, or are taught to see it.” He turned his head and glanced at Dash. “How do I do all these things that I do? Why, the same way your friends Pinkie and Surprise do! Only… there’s one, little difference.” He snickered. “It’s just something they do naturally. It’s who they are, they don’t know how they do it, they just do. I actually know how to do it…” His eyes narrowed and he snickered. “And I do it on purpose.”

“H…huh?” Dash perked up. She had to admit, she wasn’t expecting this.

“You’ve always wondered, haven’t you?” Twister went on. “How does Pinkie Pie just appear places, change her shape, eat enough cupcakes to gain five hundred pounds in a week and be just fine? How does Surprise execute all those silly entrances, like popping out of Big Bird’s fur, appearing out of thin air, or stretching her neck comically?” He sneered. “How do I… Do all this?” He waved a hoof around the room. The metal shutter over the window opened, the lights went out and the fire roared to life again.

Dash glanced all around as the room changed instantly all around her.

“Oh no, you don’t even have to say it,” Twister chuckled. “Your eyes say it all! You’ve always wondered, you just never thought it was worth it to ASK.”

“Uh…”

Dash yelped as there was a sudden, incredibly loud thunderclap outside accompanied by a bright flash of lightning. Right after the flash, everything had changed again. The fire was out and the lights were out. All the books and bookcases had vanished, leaving behind empty dusty walls. The room had been plunged into a murky, barely lit state, and two living room chairs facing each other with a small table in between were now on the rug that sat before the dead fire place. On the table, was a glass of water and two round pieces of candy still in their wrappers. One was red, one was blue.

She looked over to the window to see it was pouring rain outside, rumbles of thunder and flashes of lighting accompanying the raindrops. Twister was standing right next to the window. He wore a black, long trench coat and a pair of dark, circular sunglasses over his eyes. He was still bald.

“At last…” Twister said in a suddenly very deep and refined voice. “You finally gave it a thought."

Dash blinked several times. Now feeling like she was completely at his mercy.

“Please…” Twister motioned to the chairs. “Sit.”

Dash didn’t move at first, but realized Twister wasn’t moving and still pointing to the seat. She swallowed and played along, moving to one of the chairs and sitting down. While she wasn’t a fan of his shenanigans… every time he had done something like this, it felt like he was trying to lead her closer to understand who… or what he was. It was a little annoying, but she was always curious about him, especially now that he seemed to be intent on explaining himself to her a little more than usual. So she went with it, besides, she owed him for misdirecting Applejack and Pinkie Pie for her and… she was definitely intrigued in what Twister was talking about, more than she’d prefer to admit.

Twister didn’t sit down immediately, he paced around a little, moving over to another window that was not there before. He stared out into the storm before turning to Dash and walking towards her. She could see her reflection in the dark circular lenses of the glasses.

“I imagine… that right now,” Twister began. “You’re feeling a bit like… you’re on the edge of a cliff. You can see over the edge and it makes you nauseous… But you keep looking because you are curious. There is no bottom in sight, just darkness below.” He looked like he was moving towards the seat across from her, but at the last moment, he turned and kept pacing. “Is the view of the endless fall… making you dizzy?” he turned and looked at her, grinning. “Or do you find it thrilling?”

Dash looked at him carefully as he kept pacing.

“Are we talking about the situation, Soarin, or you?” she asked.

“Why specify?” Twister quickly replied. Dash’s eyes widened slightly and she looked down away from him. “I can see it in your eyes…” Twister continued. “You have the look of a pony who accepts what she sees… what she knows… how she believes everything is and should work… And always expects everything to do as it should.” He stopped behind her chair. “Do you believe… that you understand your world?”

Dash hated to admit it… but she was actually humoring him. He was clearly trying to explain something to her in a strangely serious manner… or whatever Twister’s version of ‘serious’ was. She thought his question over carefully… and was surprised at the conclusion she came to.

“Lately…?” she looked up as he came back around towards the other chair. “No.”

“Why not?” Twister pressed as he stopped by the other chair.

Again, Dash paused to put together a serious answer.

“Because…” she took a deep breath and tucked her front hooves closer to her body. “I’m questioning the word of ponies I used to follow without hesitation. I keep seeing things that I once thought were impossible, I…” she paused and shook her head. “Everything I used to know and accept seems so far away now. It’s all long gone, like my whole world is a lie.”

Twister pointed at her.

“I know EXACTLY… what you mean,” he said with a smile as he finally sat down across from her.

There was a long pause as the two of them just sat and stared at one another.

Dash found herself curious… very curious. Normally she didn’t give a damn about Twister’s shenanigans, but... For some reason, after all they had been through up to this point, she wondered if Twister was trying to send her a message. Each time it ultimately felt like he was trying to get her to see something that the rest couldn’t. It seemed ridiculous, Twister acted like a moron 24/7, save for these moments, these… alternate realities where he always seemed very, very different. And it kind of scared her… but these events Twister put her through were almost beginning to seem normal when placed side by side with how topsy-turvy her world had become.

Twister suddenly smiled wide.

“What?” Dash cocked an eyebrow.

“Let me tell you why you’re curious,” he suddenly prompted.

Dash gasped, her pupils shrinking. That was twice now, twice that he had pulled something out of her thoughts in the last few minutes.

“You’re curious because you’re aware,” he went on. “What you have seen, you can’t explain… but unlike the rest around you, you want to know more. You won’t just let these new ‘impossible’ things happen without wondering how they happen, without demanding to understand them. You feel it when the others don’t, that something is wrong with the world you know. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there… like an itch you can’t quite scratch. Driving you nuts.”

“It’s because of your curiosity… because of your desire to understand what’s happening… that I decided to take a little bit of time out of my own agenda to talk to you here and now.”

Dash’s ears twitched. Did he say… agenda?

“Haven’t you wondered…” Twister continued before she could think on it further. “Why I pull you aside and nopony else? Have you thought about my reasoning? You are not like the rest… you question everything you see… you wish to understand all that you witness. You don’t settle for what you see in front of you. And you won’t accept quick and simple explanations. You want to know all. You want to understand all. You reach for every possibility and seek to master every step.”

Dash blinked. Every possibility… every step…

“You noticed… The one time I brought somepony else in… The time included Soarin, he made no effort to understand. He sat there, confused, and remained confused as you continuously told him not to question it. Do you remember?” Twister asked with a smirk. Dash’s eyes widened slightly. “It really was a test… I wasn’t just being silly. I wanted to see just how much you had fallen in. I wanted to compare you side by side with somepony who would never understand what he was seeing the way you had come to.”

Dash didn’t know what to say. She immediately thought of the time Soarin was with them during Twister’s teacher act… So there was a point to that after all. He wanted to see her accept what was happening while another squirmed without question or thought.

“Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you understand… why you intrigue me so?” Twister asked.

Dash stared, unsure of what to say for a moment, but after hearing everything here, and putting it up against how messed up everything had become, she came to a quick conclusion.

“Yes.” She replied seriously. Twister’s smile grew.

“Do you want to know… Just how little you understand about everything around you?” he added.

“Yes,” Dash answered again, this time without a moment of hesitation.

“Then you really are ready…” Twister leaned back in his chair and put his hooves together under his chin. “How I’ve waited for this…”

He paused, the two staring at one another quietly for several seconds as the quiet thunder rumbled outside with the soft pitter-patter of rain against the window sill.

“Your world as you know it…” Twister began. “It surrounds you… it follows you wherever you go. Ponyville, Canterlot, the Nimbus, the Crystal Empire. Everywhere,” he emphasized he reached a hoof out beside his head and tipped it up. “You assume you understand what you see, what you hear, smell, touch, taste… It’s how everything is supposed to be. You don’t question it. These are things you come to understand as you grow from a foal to an adult, and they never leave you… yet, they are not what they seem. These things… they are a blindfold we put on willingly. We cover our own eyes and never question or wonder if there is more.”

“More?” Dash tipped her head. Twister leaned forward again.

“Much more… Beyond what makes sense, beyond what you believe is supposed to work. You are a slave to what you believe.” He pointed at her. “You desire to look further… but you have yet to look far enough.”

Twister paused, keeping his hoof outstretched and letting those words sink in. Dash remained focused, her eyes fixed on him. She was really listening. She was really trying to understand. Twister leaned back in the chair, clearly pleased.

“Unfortunately… I can’t simply tell you what to look for. I can’t change your world or your mentality… how you see with your own two eyes. I can only tell you that there is more. It’s something you have to look for and discover yourself… Something you have to understand and accept… A feat only a select few have ever truly managed.”

Dash stared, her right eye twitching slightly, telegraphing confusion, but a confusion laced with curiosity.

“I know that look,” Twister snickered, causing her to flinch. “Tell me, Rainbow Dash… You are a pony that takes pride in watching, remembering, and recreating. You watch those who know more than you and strive to learn how they do what they do. You have no signature to call your own, yet you can watch and learn… you can make what you see your own.”

Dash swallowed as Twister began smiling again, his teeth slowly showing as the edges of his mouth curled upward more and more.

“Have you ever wondered…” Twister released a loud hiss of breath between his teeth as if he could hardly contain himself before continuing. “How I do… what I do?”

Dash gasped. Her eyes shot open and her ears stood up. It was the question he demanded she ask of him at the start.

“The Spiral Turn? Oh please…” Twister scoffed. “That’s merely something I threw together for fun… What about the REST of what I do? Have you ever taken a good, long look at how I go about my life?”

Dash was at a loss for words. Her eyes were wide with curiosity. Was Twister implying… that she could do…

“Of course I can’t judge you,” Twister continued suddenly. “You’re not as awake as I am. You still see the world, to some degree, the same way as those around you. All of my antics and behavior probably just seem silly and random to you, but I assure you… there is much more to it.”

Dash blinked.

And in the instant she blinked… the thunderstorm was gone, the chairs they were sitting in were gone. She was standing, no longer sitting. The fire was back, but it was daylight outside, the room returning to its original state with the walls lined with full bookshelves. The only difference was the time of day out the windows. She looked around frantically. Twister was nowhere to be found. She spun around, looking in the back corners of the room before turning back… And Twister was standing right in front of her. His glasses and coat were gone. He took a deep breath and stuck his hoof in his mouth, blowing hard. His mane popped out of his head, sitting on his head as if it were never gone.

“What I do…” he smirked as he spoke. “ANYPONY can do. It’s all just a matter of perspective… and whether or not you accept the reality placed before you. All the inexplicable feats, all the unexplainable acts… They don’t have to be as weird and silly, it’s ALL doable. I just like to be weird.”

At this point, any remaining thoughts Dash had towards being miffed at him in any way were completely gone. She forgot all about how he had been gone for too long and was pissing her off. She was refocused, and much more interested in everything Twister was saying and doing.

“Ah, Rainbow Dash…” Twister sighed while closing his eyes. Dash yelped as a mirror popped up in between them. And even though Twister was standing behind the mirror, his reflection was standing beside hers. “I simply must ask… How long are you willing to torture yourself by always thinking inside the box?” he asked as his reflection reached out and tapped a hoof against the edges of the mirror within the mirror.

The moment he stopped tapping what appeared to be solid edges, he turned and walked right out of the reflection, appearing from behind the mirror and stepping in between Dash and the mirror…

He did not cast a reflection.

“Step OUTSIDE of the box. Way outside of it. Whenever your world is spinning out of control…” he twirled a hoof in the air as he turned and bumped against Dash. Dash was still staring into the mirror and wondering how Twister did not appear in it. “You can always let it spin… and barf over the railing…”

He suddenly swung his hoof down and hit her right over the head.

“OW!” she yelped and was seconds away from retaliating, but when she looked up, her reflection was gone too.

“Or you can leap on its back, take control…” Twister suddenly lunged forward, grabbed the mirror and threw it to the floor, smashing it into thousands of pieces as Dash stepped back in shock. He turned and grabbed her, spinning her around and forcing her to face the window. It was suddenly sundown outside with the sun just above the horizon. “And ride off into the sunset!” he laughed happily as he let go of her and slowly paced around until he was right in front of her, the dim rays of the sunset shining around him.

“So tell me, Dashie Poo… After everything you’ve seen on this journey, everything you’ve been put through…Do you really want to just keep marching in lockstep with those giving you orders? With those who clearly haven’t thought to question the world as finely as you have? Do you really want to keep accepting the restraints of reality? Do you want to keep walking with a blindfold over your eyes? There’s so much MORE to everything!”

Dash’s mouth hung slightly open, her eyes stuck wide. She took in every word Twister said as the dim sunlight outlining him from behind became brighter.

“Come on, Dash!” Twister threw an arm out. “QUESTION it! Question ALL of it!” he suddenly started hovering into the air without flapping his wings. “Wonderbolts… Goddesses… Reanimated souls… How much of your world is real? How much of it do you understand?!” He laughed to himself, shaking his head and sighing as the light from the window grew brighter, forcing Dash to squint as Twister slowly began to disappear into it. “The possibilities are endless, but only if you accept them to be so! The only pony standing in your way is YOU! If you simply stay on course with the way things are now… You’ll never get anywhere, plain and simple.” He smirked, quietly giggling to himself as Dash could barely keep her eyes open in the intense light. “Take control! Conventional thinking will never set you free, and you can bet it won’t solve your current problems. You want Soarin back? It’s not gonna happen. Not unless… you do it your OWN way!”

Dash was speechless, she almost didn’t care about the intense light shining in her eyes. There was so much Twister was talking about that she was trying to understand, but those words, more than any of the others, were loud and clear.

“Do it your own way.”

“But what do I know?” Twister suddenly added with a hearty laugh as his fading image turned upside down. “After all… I’m just a wee bit… CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY!”

The light grew so bright that Dash was forced to close her eyes.

When she opened them, Twister was gone, the light outside was back to normal day. It was just her, the room, and the crackling fire.

And… a note at her hooves.

Dash quickly reached down and picked up the note. It read: “Btw, Spitfire is going to pass outside the library in roughly 47 seconds, looking for you.”

The number written was actually ticking down, changing to 46… then 45.

Dash looked up and around the room briefly, taking a couple of those precious seconds to think about what she just saw… and heard. She suddenly found herself thinking about everything going on a little differently. Twister was making an effort to open her eyes, and while there was a focus on concepts like reality and not accepting everything around her… he had tied it to her current situation as well. Was all that talk of what lies beyond what she believes his way of encouraging her in the moment? Was he giving her a taste of a bigger picture to help her understand how to handle the here and now?

She didn’t have time to nail it all down. She’d think about it more once everything died down. What he said to her and showed her helped her in the moment, in the here and now, and that’s what mattered. The number on the note was still ticking down to when Spitfire was apparently going to be outside and at this point, after all that, she wasn’t going to doubt Twister.

She visibly twitched, never thinking she’d put the words ‘never doubt Twister’ together in her head, but she dropped the note and turned, quickly making her way out.

She opened the door and stepped into the hallway. A crystal unicorn stallion was walking by, pushing a cart of books along with his horn. His head snapped towards Dash and he blinked in surprise.

Dash locked eyes with him and shot him a curious look.

“Um…” the stallion glanced behind her, then back at her. “Why were you in the broom closet?”

Dash’s eyes widened. She turned around and looked at the door.

It was, indeed, labeled ‘broom closet.’ She quickly opened the door again, and inside was definitely a broom closet. Dash flattened her brow and growled.

Of course…

Even after all of that he’d still find a way to pull some kind of cheap prank on her. She turned and gave the stallion a very weird, sarcastic smile.

“AHAHAHA! GET IT?!” she forced, her eyebrows pointed down with her eyes wide as she leaned towards the stallion, keeping a very forced smile plastered to her face. “JUST CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET! GUESS I’M GAY NOW! BETTER NOT TELL MY COLTFRIEND! TOODLES!” Dash turned and started stomping down the hall. “FuckingTwisterthinkshe’ssofunny…” Dash grumbled to herself, leaving the stallion behind with a blank stare.

“What?”

---

Dash stepped out of the library and to her complete lack of surprise, Spitfire was walking by right outside. Spitfire stopped the moment she saw Dash, and without questioning what Dash was doing in the library, immediately turned and trotted up to her.

“Dash! There you are!” she exclaimed as they met at the bottom of the front steps.

“You were looking for me?” Dash asked, hiding the fact that she technically already knew that.

“Yeah,” Spitfire nodded, her expression remaining completely serious. “I just got word from the hospital…”

Dash’s ears perked up and gasped. Spitfire nodded again.

“They want to talk to us about Silver.”

---To Be Continued---

Author's Note:

Well wasn't that just an adventure?

For starters, looks like the Crystal Empire is providing a little more than some rest, maybe these recovery pools will come in handy... but lets not jump to conclusions just yet...

Dash just cant make up her mind, and even runs from her friends... But Twilight... will she tell Twilight?

Maybe she will, but only because a certain crazy green clown finally reappeared, if only for a short moment, to aim her in a different direction. He said a lot of things that Dash couldn't understand or grasp, but he had a clear message for her in terms of what is currently happening... now she just has to act on it.

And it looks like... next chapter we are going to find out about our stubborn old Iron Horse...

Art in this chapter by: Foxenawolf

So lets break down those references, shall we?

The first: The Big Lebowski:

Hence my blog hashtag: "BummerMan"

Second... No, that is not Dr. Evil for those who were thinking that. For those who don't know, Dr. Evil is actually a parody of Blofeld, a recurring villain in the older James Bond movies:


And the hashtag: "TheRightIdeaButTheWrongPussy........Cat" is a reference to one meeting between bond and blofeld, where bond only has one shot left in his gun, and there are two Blofelds (one is a body double) Bond throws the cat between them, and the cat jumps to one of the blofelds, Which Bond shoots. But then a second cat appears and goes the one still alive. Blofeld: "The right idea, mr bond!" Bond: "But the wrong pussy..." (for those who have not seen older bond movies, the sex jokes are almost every other line at times)

And yes... this is a feral version of Foxena's fursona:


I couldn't resist the opportunity.

The third... is 4chan's mascot 'Anonymous'. Though he takes many forms, the most common is a blank green man with a question mark where his face should be, wearing a suit and red tie:


And if you're wondering about the green text, that's 4chan's way of telling personal stories.

Lastly, i'm sure most of you picked up on it, the first Matrix movie (the only good one):

I felt it would be the perfect parody for Twister to pull, given the kinds of things he was putting out there.
Hence the hashtag: HeKnowsMoreThanYouCanImagine

Thanks for reading! hope you enjoyed!

Comments

[Laveria Dreams]

...I need a vacation. So many things happening...

[Magical Shield]

Sometimes.... just sometimes. ..

Twister scares the shit out of me... nice chapter, much weirdness and much suspense left for the next chapter- job well done again Calmy!

[Phoenix Flight]

Oh my god that was brilliant.

Twister’s part... my god this goes deeper than I ever thought it would. Imma go microanalyze it summore... it’s was fucking DEEP MAN. *mybraincanteven.* I look forward to the development this gives to the whole library of twister theories.

And OH MY GOSH SILVER. FINALLY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I NEED TO KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...

[Zoljen]

Your White Mages need better fitting robes... SIR! Also, I completely lost it at that picture of Twister and his pet "Overlord Fox." Like, face down on desk laughing lost it.

[Animak]

i'm wondering whether that crystal dew will become important later

[Animak]

also, i thought the second one was more an adaption of slender man

[Those Kids In The Corner]

“Ms. Dash, you underestimate my information network,” Twister grinned as he started petting the fox a little faster. The fox squeaked and started squirming, biting his leg and scratching at him, but Twister didn’t react as the fox more or less shredded the leg of his pants. “I have eyes everywhere, not one detail goes missing.”

Of course I thought of this.

[TexasDragon1995]

...
...
...

For once...after reading a chapter of yours...I don't know what to say about it. I mean...

WHAT THE FU...?! I...I mean...just...

Just...keep doing what you're doing. I don't know how you do it. Whether you take walks outside or smoke crack or fuck tree holes...just...

Keep up the good work my good man

[CowgirlVK]

AND YOU CUT THE CHAPTER THERE CALM! *Roars*

Oh Twister, Loved Fox's Cameo. To tell the friends, or not to tell the friends, that is the Question, wether it be nobeler to trust those you've known your whole life.... or pert near.... or obey thy captains orders.

[Workman]

... I don't know what to say. I've written up like 3 drafts trying to figure out how to tell you what this chapter is, but I just cant. This is insane. I have no idea what to believe and if there is a single person besides you that can really understand this I will be amazed. This is so much. I'm gonna have to agree with 8773106 here, I think I need a vacation right now

[Night Frost 18]

.............WHAT THE F

[Night Frost 18]

8773343
Best story ever

[Stellar_]

GETTING PRETTY META HERE ARNT WE

[Appledashery]

This chapter was brilliant and the way you portrayed Twister’s world view was intriguing. The questions he asked were so realistic. He is so much more then the crazy pony we first knew him as and that is why Twister is one of the most interesting characters in this story.

“Come on, Dash!” Twister threw an arm out. “ QUESTION it! Question ALL of it!” he suddenly started hovering into the air without flapping his wings. “Wonderbolts… Goddesses… Reanimated souls… How much of your world is real? How much of it do you understand?!” He laughed to himself, shaking his head and sighing as the light from the window grew brighter, forcing Dash to squint as Twister slowly began to disappear into it. “The possibilities are endless, but only if you accept them to be so! The only pony standing in your way is YOU! If you simply stay on course with the way things are now… You’ll never get anywhere, plain and simple.” He smirked, quietly giggling to himself as Dash could barely keep her eyes open in the intense light. “Take control! Conventional thinking will never set you free, and you can bet it won’t solve your current problems. You want Soarin back? It’s not gonna happen. Not unless… you do it your OWN way!”

But to go back to the most important part.

Silver!!!!

I’m dying to know!! I can’t wait for the next chapter. Keep it up!!

[KnightMysterio]

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL RIGHTY THEN!

[Animak]

is twister a pony whom is a personification of discordianism?

[Midday Giggle]

I just don't know what the fuck I just read.

I think my brain's going to stop working now.

>Realize that my life is merely a tale told by a moron writing a story that's over a million words with chapters long enough to fill a whole book each and make M.A. Larson flip him the bird.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! I CAN'T WITH THIS.

“AHAHAHA! GET IT?!” she forced, her eyebrows pointed down with her eyes wide as she leaned towards the stallion, keeping a very forced smile plastered to her face. “JUST CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET! GUESS I’M GAY NOW! BETTER NOT TELL MY COLTFRIEND! TOODLES!” Dash turned and started stomping down the hall. “FuckingTwisterthingkshe’ssofunny…” Dash grumbled to herself, leaving the stallion behind with a blank stare.

MY GOD THIS IS JUST THE MOST HILARIOUS DASH PARAGRAPH IN THE WHOLE STORY

Also, the "Better not tell my coltfriend" part. You are amazing at making me laugh my head off and cry my eyes out at the same time.

And great! Finally we'll know about our dear old ass. Hoping he's alive a lot.

Great chapter, creeped me the hell out, but great chapter anyway

[ButtonMash]

...Holy...
...Fucking...
...SHIT.

Alright, but of a rant here: as I’m pretty sure I’ve said in the past, Twister is my favorite character. I love him and could relate to him in some very interesting ways. But this? Holy shit, what a god. First of all, his moments of being critical to the plot are always great. His fight with Kefka? Classic. His recent vanishes? Very interesting. But when he pulls some level 20 Mystic shit out of his ass with by far the most interesting sequence of dialogue ever put on this site, I just can’t stop loving him. He’s the ideal character. Not to mention how he’s able to tie everything together in the most meta, Twister way possible, but it’s always relevant and affects those around him. And, as someone who frequents /b and /pol, seeing a green text made me very fucking happy. If only you put a rare pepe on him, you couldn’t get any better. Ever. I love this. It’s amazing. I just...

Well played.

[Midday Giggle]

8773296
No, I don't think anyone besides Calm with get a shit of this, I'm so fucking confused right now.

I just gotta say it was amazing, it creeped me, but as literally every word Calm writes down, this must have a purpose I wish he explains later, because I just get that Twister was trying to coax Dash to the insane side or some crap like that.

[SoarinDash-lover]

MUST FIND OUT ABOUT SILVER!!!!! Twister finally showed his face (or part of it anyway)! AWESOME CHAPTER!!!!

[sonicx]

"Mane Austin/Yakish soap opera crossover novel written in a basement by a desperate fanfiction author" first thought was you calm...
“Unfortunately… I can’t simply tell you what to look for. I can’t change your world or your mentality… how you see with your own two eyes. I can only tell you that there is more. It’s something you have to look for and discover yourself… Something you have to understand and accept… A feat only a select few have ever truly managed.” first thing in my head was he was going to say " the force is strong with this one"

[Veyron]

i...i.. my brain broke

[Mr mustash]

8773214
Perhaps it could be something that helps with the crystal affliction.

Maybe there is a more potent way of applying it, like in the form of a potion, or some other, more concentrated application.

[Gargon94]

Yay! Twister's back, more funner then ever!?!?! The whole scene with Twister was just great, as well as mind blowing. I can't wait to see what Dash plans on doing after her talk with Twister.

[moonrose]

Realize that my life is merely a tale told by a moron writing a story that's over a million words with chapters long enough to fill a whole book each and make M.A. Larson flip him the bird.

*applause* I can't wait to see how twisters words of wisdom influence dash's future choices. Man I'm so excited!! Can't wait for the next chapter

[coldsilverd]

TL:DR: Be wary of crazy ponies that seem to have all the answers unless used as a plot device to drive the story in the direction the author wants while staying true to the nature of the world, and Dash's friends suck at being friends.

You know, Twister just gets more and more interesting. There are times I am absolutely certain he is Discord, and at others I'm not so sure. A crazy reality bending entity having an agenda... I've heard this before.

Twister is never in the same place at the same time as Discord (at least to the best of my memory). Twister has been gone all this time... all the time Discord has been visibly present with Luna and company. As for Twister knowing everything? Didn't Discord say that if he wasn't watching Soarin, he'd be watching Dash?

But then I'm not completely sure because there are enough differences and reasons in my logic (logic with Discord, ha!) to make me question. Just like Twister does to Dash in this chapter. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

One thing that strikes me about the whole 'think outside the box' thing. The way he describes it... it sounds like he's trying to get Dash to learn how to get to the Astral Realm (or whatever its called). Interesting. That would be stepping out of reality, in a way.

Dash's friends? I know Dash is the type where you have to confront her about things, but AJ's 'I have to know everything' attitude and Pinkie's obliviousness to emotional states sends the message they care more for answers than her. Answers first, care second. Good intentions, wrong personalities to handle it.

[WildStallion]

I wonder if Twister is like living outside even Discords understanding. Like both are chaotic but Twister is even more chaotic then Discord as Discord maybe thinks inside the box still even if he’s chaotic. While Twister of course possibly lives outside the box and is chaotic himself but even more chaotic then even a Discord.

Sounds confusing even to me.

[jnzsblzs]

Is it just me or that little Cristal-bath-cleric does look like the vendor in an rpg you "randomly" meet before you start the final boss?

Repairing micro-tears in muscle fibers… you know, how they grow bigger, stronger, and sturdier through training.

Oh the fantasy of an avid gymrat is a wonderful place indeed. :D

hose loyal to Luna

Ladies and gentleman here we see a Hoseaticus Gardenicus otherwise known as common garden hose. It is closely realated to it's nocturnal counterpart the Hoseaticus Lunaticus

she wanted to possible talk to WASN’T there.

I know that in the alphabet the letter "e" is pronounced /iː/ just like the last sound of the word "possibly" but still it's incorrect to use "e" there. But don't worry the Brits are crazy (I just know I lived more than year there) and their orthography makes absolutely no sense. It even took me years to find out that I can use English spellcheck in Firefox master it so don't be embarrassed or anything.

Mane Austin/Yakish soap opera crossover

Now it's either a reference to Jane Austen in which case you goofed up an e yet again or I don't get that reference. By the way Kudos to you I don't know many males who would make that reference. (But then again these males might be more frequent among those who wrote at least 1.5 million word of FIMfic. Hard to test since the sample size of the latter is rather... slim. )

Also given the usual hygiene standards of the Yaks I'm pretty sure "Yakish soap opera" is some sort of horror show over there.

Trigonometric relation between the sun zenith and shadow cast by surrounding objects confirm Aristopony’s hypothesis that the world is round.

Technically it doesn't since the sine and cosine look and work the way they do. That's what flat earthers use to support their arguments.

M.A. Larson flip him the bird

Okay I'm pretty sure you actually talked with Mr Larson so tell me what's the story behind this joke. PLEASE! (If there is one. If there isn't just make up something, I don't care about your life I just wanna hear funny stories.)

[Dusk_Writer]

…Do you really want to just keep marching in lockstep with those giving you orders? With those who clearly haven’t thought to question the world as finely as you have? Do you really want to keep accepting the restraints of reality? Do you want to keep walking with a blindfold over your eyes? There’s so much MORE to everything!”

I'm wondering, could Blizzard do that? A few 'Bolts did mention he could do things they couldn't explain, though not as silly. He fits the opposite description of this so I wonder…

[Animak]

8773875
i'm wondering that myself, that it could help with the crystal inflection

[Omen]

>Be me.

>Be pony.

>Have a few screws loose.

>So loose that an orangutan couldn’t tighten them with locking pliers.

>All around me are oblivious to my inner workings.

>Regardless, I am still able to perceive my fellow componiets.

>Still able to realize that the synapomorphy nature of bilateral symmetry implies a shared hereditary history between myself and the others.

>Without we are the same, yet within we are not.

>Our bodies are of similar natural build, yet our minds are entirely apart.

>Realize these little things intrigue me despite grand wonders on a scale far beyond the space between us.

>On a clear night one with a keen eye can distinguish a Quasar from a star.

>An active galactic nucleus of very high luminosity believed to be powered by accretion of material into supermassive black holes in the nuclei of distant galaxies making these luminous versions of the general class of objects known as active galaxies on scales we can never truly comprehend.

>Yet I’m more interested in why the mare behind the shop counter decided to charge me five and a half bits for a gallon of milk instead of four two weeks ago.

>My almonds have been activated.

>Spaghetti explodes from my saddlebags as I begin to acknowledge things far beyond the basic understandings of time and space.

>Trigonometric relation between the sun zenith and shadow cast by surrounding objects confirm Aristopony’s hypothesis that the world is round.

>Furthermore this solar position confirms that it is not the proper season in which stallions engage in sexual diddles.

>Either way being stiffed an extra bit and a half for a gallon of milk confirms that this fiscally assertive mare shall not suffice.

>Realize that a mild-mannered female of my own species will not be sufficient to allow the true strength of the nut.

>But I digress.

>Almonds are beyond activated and on the verge of becoming cashews.

>Contemplate and hypothesize my own existence is contingent on absurd cycles of matter-exchange driven by the fusion of hydrogen into increasingly complex atomic assemblages and free fundamental particles.

>The plane between my mind and the greater forces of reality merge.

>Cashew transformation is complete and now evolving into walnuts.

>I break free of my chains and the bigger picture of who dictates all things begins to paint itself.

>Realize that my life is merely a tale told by a moron writing a story that's over a million words with chapters long enough to fill a whole book each and make M.A. Larson flip him the bird.

I shall paraphrase:

"Hello. Me Twister. Welcome to my mansion. Don't forget to leave your sanity at the door."

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

“Your friend, Twilight,” he began. “You have spoken of her before. She is quiet intelligent and intuitive, is she not?” he asked. Dash tipped her head.

You either mean "quite" intelligent OR
You need an apostrophe
quiet, intelligent, and intuitive

But… Dash wondered. Say she told Twilight, and she decided to play along… to not tell Luna, or even Cadence or her brother. Then she’d also have to keep it from Spitfire that she, well, disobeyed orders and…

Get Twilight to Pinkie promise not to tell & she'll keep the secret.

“Ugh…” she grunted. “I need to go for a walk,” she proclaimed as she rose out of the dew and climbed out of the tub. She was immediately approached and surrounded by several clerics with towels who helped her dry off. She felt good, the dew doing exactly what the clerics said it would. Her body still ached in specific spots like her shoulders, chest, and wings, but those were what hurt the most before she took the plunge. The rest of the minor aches and pains had disappeared. Too bad she was so distracted by her predicament to enjoy the warm, tingly, comfort of the tub. “I’ll catch you guys later for some lunch. I need to do some thinking…”

probably should be "too distracted by her predicament"

“Are you surprised at my tears, Dash?” Twister asked, breaking her from her brief thoughts. “Silly ponies… Also cry…” he sniffled and looked down. “Silly ponies… also… cry…”

WAAAY back in the training chapters, I posted that I think Twister saw Celestia raise the sun (like Twilight saw in The Cutie Mark Chronicles) I think that Twister mourns her absence

[Omen]

That must have taken forever to write, my goodness! Right, as far as my Twister theories go, imma keep my old ideas open, but I feel like I just went back to square one.
Still fun tho.

I wonder when Sexy Nightshade will be back. The only part I enjoyed more than her doing her thing was Spitfire kicking her ass without any magic or drugs. Good times.

Speaking of things I shouldn't enjoy, I think my absolute favourite part of the entire story is after the Nightshade Vs Spitfire when Soarin, Spits and Fleet have their heart to heart. I cried so much.

By the way: I just noticed that by all rights, Celestia's actions make her a criminal. So basically Equestria is ruled by a felon. One who was willing to allow one of their subjects to be severely injured so she could get some. Trial's gonna be interesting.

[The Pony Eclipse]

Ya know bro, I've dropped the last couple of years worth of my story because someone always beats me to a similar theme and I don't want to get called out for copycatting. then when I finally go big, the pony movie comes and blows my whole plot (story not backside) out of the water and does it better than I could ever imagine. so I go hi-fidelity but scrap it cause it's too complex and you come up with THIS!?!

I don't know who i should geek out over more... you or twister. Damn you and your practically perfect pony prose.

[Kossio]

Well, this chapter certainly happened

[Train wreck]

I am going to stab some bitches very soon.

And twister...
You beautiful retarded mysterious bastard.

[HarlenBooks]

Whoever read twister for the first time would probably think "oh he is just a support character" or " he is just there to introduce some sillynes into the story" but you have managed to write a deep an intersting character. Great job!

[Brightblue]

Stupid twister... damn cliffhanger... I wonder what RD going to do... I hope sliver will be okay. You better NOT kill him off. It’s too soon. Plus at the beginning I kinda forgot about twister... oops..😅 I see you in the next chapter. Let’s hope twister be back but not like this chapter.

[Halfdemonpyro]

I... I have a theory... granted its gut feeling rather than fact. Throughout Twister's scene I had one thought going through my mind. But that would be impossible! Right??? Theres no way... but... omg I just dont know! I want to be right, but I also want to be wrong! Im sure Im wrong...

...arent I?

[Calm Wind]

8773106

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE

[Calm Wind]

8773176

I wasn't gonna juts leave the readers out to dry after so much rediculous Twister-isms... OH LOOK! SILVE--ToBeContinued

[Calm Wind]

8773194

Whenever you finish turning overt the stones, Twister is always ready to pour a dump truck full of more stones into the mix

[Calm Wind]

8773207

I simply could not pass up the opportunity when looking for references to use in this chapter. Fox got her cameo!

[Calm Wind]

8773214

I wouldn't have gone out of my way to give it this much detail without it coming up later

[Calm Wind]

8773261

That video is great

[Calm Wind]

8773265

Congratulations! You have been given a larger glimpse into my downright silly imagination when i stop giving any sort of shit. This is the process i always use whenever i need to set Twister free

[Calm Wind]

8773287

Gotta keep y'all hooked now, eh?

[Soaring Soarin]

So spitfire's plan with crystal dew is rather interesting if it does work out it might turn into the wonderverse's version of the senzu beans to a degree? I know they said serious injury is out of the question but if you were in a prolonged skirmish/fight you could as spitfire reduce recovery time drastically.

I think these sums up my thoughts on the rest of this chapter:

Dash's chase scene

Twister's.....not even sure what to call it mind....journey thing...

I wanna say that I don't understand it but maybe I do? I think?

And oh boy time to see how bad the damage is on the old warrior horse

Congrats on this chapter calm it has activated my almonds and filled my head with what the fuck. See you in the next one!

[Magical Shield]

8777436

Eh- WHA- calmyyyyyyy you troll!!

[Calm Wind]

8773296

The thing i love about Twister is that no one can understand him but me. He is literally a product of my imagination without restraint. He does not have form, he does not have reason, he does not make sense... but while others can't figure him out... I know him back to front, top to bottom, because he is more or less the embodiment of my mind if i just let it goooooo... And as a consequence, no one can quite pinpoint why he's in the story... but i know why