You are invited to trade lives with a pony from Equestria as a respite from Earth. The deal sounds too good to be true. With no strings attached the deal winds up being more than you have bargained for.
"So yeah, we know you're probably not Ember, but we're going to kill you anyways since you look like her to make ourselves feel better."
Y'know what? Fuck these ponies.
I'm glad that's not the end though. I'm interested to see where this will go next, if the protagonist is dead I wonder how the next chapter will go.
I honestly don't know what more I expected from a tragedy, but hopefully there's some sort of a redemption and retribution for killing an innocent person (Or kiling 'me' as your earlier comment suggested.)
"Oh, you act completely different from the Ember we know, and have a princess or two to back up this claim?" "Nah, fuck you, hanging time" I mean.... these ponies seem like just assholes
How nice would it be if this were all a bad dream?
A swirl of stars assault your vision as you wake up from this terrible nightmare. Sweating like mad and tears streaming down your face you see the concerned face of your loving mate, Archer. He brings his head down and nuzzles you under your chin. "Shh, it was all a bad dream, my love. It's okay, it wasn't real. I'm here for you. I love you" he whispers as you embrace him as if he was all that kept you from plummeting into the void. You hiccup as he strokes your face, wiping it clean of your tears.
It all comes rushing back to you now; there was no fire, no death, no insane pyromaniac. Just a bored student who wanted something new. You agreed, you swapped. You immediately got thrown a warm, welcoming Pinkie party in your honor. Treats and streamers and balloons and so many ponies! Rarity was there to make you feel like the center of the universe with her dresses. Applejack brought her family to give you a warm, honest welcome, and lots and lots of apples. Fluttershy was adorable and very shy, but you hit it off well and she even later gave you an adorable little kitten! Rainbow Dash showed off all her cool tricks, and even did a Sonic Rainboom just for you! Twilight offered to teach you about your new body and magic!
The Princesses were even there! Celestia draped a wing over you and pressed you against her warm body. It distinctly felt like sunbathing on a sunny field of the softest grass. She called you her little pony and promised that she would forever love you and protect you like all of her citizens. Luna was there too, her touch was calm and gentle like moonbeams. She promised that she would do that same, and that she would look after your dreams. She delivered, didn't she? She woke you up from a Hell of your own making.
And then there was Archer, the guard assigned to escort you to your new home and make you feel safe. You couldn't help it, he was so dashing and you were so curious. You invited him in that night, and, well... Now you have a loving mate who will always be by your side. You can't wait to have foals with him, and bring more love to this beautiful world of Equestria.
What an interesting story. I like how you've weaved this tale, and I often don't go for second POV stories. For some reason though, this story caught my fancy, and now you have my attention. I'm very interested in what the end will be like. Great show! Have a like and a favorite to boot!
Also, not sure how that applies to getting an editor or a few proofreaders to fine tooth comb your story.
But all of that isn't the point. I figure you either have a master plan and everyone is freaking out because they aren't picking up on the subtle cues being left behind (please please let this be it), or it is going to turn out to be something that one might feel was over-reactive...
...................................................................................kill them all................................obliterate them until there is nothing left..........all ponies will pay, children, mares, stallions, everything will fall in your wake.................................................kill them all....................................
...................................................................................kill them all................................obliterate them until there is nothing left..........all ponies will pay, children, mares, stallions, everything will fall in your wake.................................................kill them all....................................
not badly writtne thoguh sitll........... i can see tiwlight blinded by rage. hell things like that normally do not happen i nequestria to begin with. even creatures like tirek lack that capactiy for atrocity.
celestia however........ not only are there hints of her coming from a much darker time to begin with, but she would probably be less emotionally driven, and would hesitate to kill ember's body if the soul is not there. closest excuse would be to rob ember of flesh to return to.
other than celestia story is not bad. does give tiwlight a lot of reason to have a load of powerful rage blinding her and guiding her to the wrong choices, that is for sure.
Let the awesomeness continyerrr...
Too much suspense I NEED MOAR ! loved the chapter hope another comes soon
PLEASE DON'T BE GONE!
Seriously, I think my head is spinning. I'm, I'm favouriting this, I need to know what happens next!
I knew it. I don't know why I read tragedies, they always make me so... so depressed.
I suspect that stuff he gave her to activate upon/shortly before death.
I also suspect he took off the inhibitor to test her. The real Ember would've killed him to get away as soon as she was able.
"So yeah, we know you're probably not Ember, but we're going to kill you anyways since you look like her to make ourselves feel better."
Y'know what? Fuck these ponies.
I'm glad that's not the end though. I'm interested to see where this will go next, if the protagonist is dead I wonder how the next chapter will go.
I honestly don't know what more I expected from a tragedy, but hopefully there's some sort of a redemption and retribution for killing an innocent person (Or kiling 'me' as your earlier comment suggested.)
I reckon the next chapters the last and is about how everypony now feals guilty about killing her/him.
but im probably wrong, I usualy am.
Where's doom guy's help when ya need him!
Please, continue. I'd like to see what happens after this.
"Oh, you act completely different from the Ember we know, and have a princess or two to back up this claim?"
"Nah, fuck you, hanging time"
I mean.... these ponies seem like just assholes
Well, despite all the horrible tensing/grammatical/punctuation errors, I've come this far. Might as well wait and see how it ends...
How nice would it be if this were all a bad dream?
A swirl of stars assault your vision as you wake up from this terrible nightmare. Sweating like mad and tears streaming down your face you see the concerned face of your loving mate, Archer. He brings his head down and nuzzles you under your chin. "Shh, it was all a bad dream, my love. It's okay, it wasn't real. I'm here for you. I love you" he whispers as you embrace him as if he was all that kept you from plummeting into the void. You hiccup as he strokes your face, wiping it clean of your tears.
It all comes rushing back to you now; there was no fire, no death, no insane pyromaniac. Just a bored student who wanted something new. You agreed, you swapped. You immediately got thrown a warm, welcoming Pinkie party in your honor. Treats and streamers and balloons and so many ponies! Rarity was there to make you feel like the center of the universe with her dresses. Applejack brought her family to give you a warm, honest welcome, and lots and lots of apples. Fluttershy was adorable and very shy, but you hit it off well and she even later gave you an adorable little kitten! Rainbow Dash showed off all her cool tricks, and even did a Sonic Rainboom just for you! Twilight offered to teach you about your new body and magic!
The Princesses were even there! Celestia draped a wing over you and pressed you against her warm body. It distinctly felt like sunbathing on a sunny field of the softest grass. She called you her little pony and promised that she would forever love you and protect you like all of her citizens. Luna was there too, her touch was calm and gentle like moonbeams. She promised that she would do that same, and that she would look after your dreams. She delivered, didn't she? She woke you up from a Hell of your own making.
And then there was Archer, the guard assigned to escort you to your new home and make you feel safe. You couldn't help it, he was so dashing and you were so curious. You invited him in that night, and, well... Now you have a loving mate who will always be by your side. You can't wait to have foals with him, and bring more love to this beautiful world of Equestria.
Yes. It was all just a bad dream...
What an interesting story. I like how you've weaved this tale, and I often don't go for second POV stories. For some reason though, this story caught my fancy, and now you have my attention. I'm very interested in what the end will be like. Great show! Have a like and a favorite to boot!
4500171
I'm waiting for my acceptance letter from the GNA College...
4502531
Geriatrics Nursing Assistant...? (blame google)
Also, not sure how that applies to getting an editor or a few proofreaders to fine tooth comb your story.
But all of that isn't the point. I figure you either have a master plan and everyone is freaking out because they aren't picking up on the subtle cues being left behind (please please let this be it), or it is going to turn out to be something that one might feel was over-reactive...
Thank goodness it's marked as "Incomplete"
I'd hate to be left...
Hanging.
I REGRET NOTHING.
Can't wait for more.
4505322
Grammar Nazi's of America
...................................................................................kill them all................................obliterate them until there is nothing left..........all ponies will pay, children, mares, stallions, everything will fall in your wake.................................................kill them all....................................
...................................................................................kill them all................................obliterate them until there is nothing left..........all ponies will pay, children, mares, stallions, everything will fall in your wake.................................................kill them all....................................
not badly writtne thoguh sitll...........
i can see tiwlight blinded by rage. hell things like that normally do not happen i nequestria to begin with. even creatures like tirek lack that capactiy for atrocity.
celestia however........ not only are there hints of her coming from a much darker time to begin with, but she would probably be less emotionally driven, and would hesitate to kill ember's body if the soul is not there.
closest excuse would be to rob ember of flesh to return to.
other than celestia story is not bad. does give tiwlight a lot of reason to have a load of powerful rage blinding her and guiding her to the wrong choices, that is for sure.
Aw hell no!