The aged mage gave a derogatory sniff. “Morality has nothing to do with it.”
So Twilight has to face this one eventually. Everything she's gonna see would have no place in a truly just world. Though, I gotta ask: is that because of the one 'currently in power', or is Tartarus like this in Twilight's own world too?
4464018 I think of Tartarus as a prison in both universes, although I think the TvE version is much, much more sinister a place (especially if you consider the small glimpse we got of the show-canon Tartarus). Regarding the No Heroes version... I have yet to decide just how similar they are, but I can't imagine the NH version would be anywhere near as heavily populated or brimming with corruption.
Twilight really frustrated the Hell out of me this time around. Her funny quirks are quickly becoming her biggest weaknesses. The residence of Tartarus are going to take full advantage of that.
I admit, I thought Miss Cadey was next. Tease.
A really tense, atmospheric arc. I got Alien flashbacks with this one.
4477647 This is a tricky question to answer; the potential for spoilers is staggering. So, short version: yes.
But it's going to be a long time before that answer finally comes up. A very long time. If you're interested in being spoiled a little, then I can provide you with a longer answer in a PM, but I'd rather not share in the story comments.
Starswirl was a nice surprise, especially since he is such a role model for Twilight. What a good choice! I assume he represents obsession or indifference. I wish it could have been a bit more crushing for Twilight to see Starswirl like that, but I think it was accurate with her just being disgusted with him in the end. I had wondered why Mare-do-well was in there and still got no straight answer on how Starswirl would have any idea of that costume design for his creation. Locking yourself away qualifies well as a vice, actually, doing no good for a world that needs your special talents. His is the most striking picture perhaps for those who get absorbed in their own little world such that they lose all care for others, diluting themselves into believing that the world doesn't deserve them.
4484555 Actually Starswirl was meant to be representative of a certain variety of sloth, which in this case I interpreted less as outright laziness and more as an unwillingness to act. Placing him as the second Lord of Tartarus is meant to be a huge signal to the reader about how different Equestria is due to Twilight's 'mistake,' and having her not recognize this clue for what it is plays into her total devotion to the concept that Celestia must be good no matter what. Her almost childlike devotion is just an extra piece of the tragedy.
Regarding Ne'er-Do-Well, I'm operating under the assumption that fate has a way of making certain coincidences occur. Regardless of the timeline, the appearance of Mare-do-Well is what it is, just like how, say, Sunset doesn't look any different. somehow, in ways beyond comprehension, certain things just fall into place.
“In all my years down here, I have never had the opportunity to study an alicorn soul.” Twilight’s blood ran cold. He went back to his experiments, adding an offhoof, “Ne’er? Fetch me an alicorn soul, would you kindly?”
Oh, sh— Twi isn't the only one whose blood ran cold. Also, Nice again. This chapter didn't seem so torturous or suspenseful as the last one. I guess you have to go slow sometimes to appreciate speed when it happens. Thinking against the grain served me well—I knew it wouldn't be Cadance. I imagine her being about 4th or 5th. Didn't expect Star Swirl, though. I was wondering how "Mare-do-Well" would affect this story. You got me real intrigued now.
4930611 I dunno, I considered that last part rather suspenseful. Regardless, each circle was meant to be traumatizing in an entirely different way. Also, I chose the order of the Lords with very specific intentions in mind.
I'm intrigued, yet not completely captivated at the premise. I can get behind the idea, as some serious set-up is involved, but I'm keeping my vote silent still.
4931373 im calling ner do well could sense she didn't belong and was searching her soul and memories to see if she belonged there also im calling nightmare moon as a lord
Oh god. It's happened. I don't want to read this anymore. I'm having all these horrible flashbacks to what happens at the end. Just for example, I started cringing just when Sunset was setting Twilight's wing, and that happens in the very beginning! Hoo-boy. I thought that possessing foreknowledge of this story would inure me somewhat to its subject matter. But it seems like the opposite is true! And we haven't even gotten into the really bad chapters.
6075869 I went back to re-read that scene after you mentioned it... and found a typo. I've edited and re-edited this story over a dozen times, and I'm still finding typos!
I'm intrigued by the physical pain/body horror in this chapter. Dante rarely focuses on such things. His suffering is more poetically aesthetic than bones and crunch, as opposed to I Have No Mouth and I must Scream. The difference between feeling the vomit sting your sinuses as your dom gets a little too overzealous and imagining an eternity encased in latex. What's with all the references to dying? I guess Tartarus isn't actually an afterlife but rather something physical in Equestria, but it sure seems like Sunset at least should prefer death to whatever else could happen to her. The whole point of Inferno is that death isn't some kind of peaceful oblivion.There's no escaping from your sins. I'm of mixed opinion as to Twilight's impression of the fog ghosts, as I am to her clod headed rationalism in Feeling Pinkie Keen. On the one hand, it's not like it's an implausible depiction of people of her temperament in real life. On the other, it's not like the existence of ghosts is logically impossible and someone who had taken the scientific method to heart would hardly dismiss the possibility out of hand given everything else Twi had seen. Ghosts happen to be a ruse, but it's not like the question was never open. Pythagoras had a mystic cult and Newton was the preeminent occultist of his day. My read on Twi's character is that she'd be pretty sympathetic to Starswirl's goals and methods, though I may be projecting. Think Gandalf taking the ring. Twi has many virtues, but rejecting knowledge and power aren't among them.
First one I'm going to pick is my enjoyment of this chapter. Seriously man, I've been looking for something to inspire my own tales of Twilights time in hell, and you have not disappointed. Just from this chapter alone I've thought of new and intriguing ways Twi can use dark magic. (Don't worry I don't plagiarise other peoples work)
Second reaction is cautionary cynicism. You said the mature tag was not enough to warn people of what they were getting themselves into. Yet I have not felt anything other than mild amusement at your descriptions of gore. One sentence something along the lines of "a pile of ickiness" was really good. But I'm not going to get my hopes too high if you're sticking to this level of goriness.
Nice pun. I feel that the spell Ne'er-Do-Well cast relates to the last line, with the fog. My guess is that it is something to screw with the perspectives and minds of Sunny and Twi in some way, or it is meant as some variety of tracking spell. I want to say this part of Tartarus is meant to reflect fraud in some way, but there was nothing very fraud-like about it or the creations that stalked this area. I guess it might be wrath, then?
I also noticed that Sunny isn't in the cover art, and that's starting to make me worried. Though, not for the 'oh no she might die' reason but 'I think Sunnybun might be the betrayer' reason.
This is a prequel set before Trixie met Twilicorn, right? So, no happy ending for her or Sunset
Starswirl is unique amongst the lower Lords, in that he is not much of a threat, it's his servant, Ne'er, that you have to worry about.
4463291
You got it. It's got the tragedy tag for a reason.
So Twilight has to face this one eventually. Everything she's gonna see would have no place in a truly just world. Though, I gotta ask: is that because of the one 'currently in power', or is Tartarus like this in Twilight's own world too?
4464018
I think of Tartarus as a prison in both universes, although I think the TvE version is much, much more sinister a place (especially if you consider the small glimpse we got of the show-canon Tartarus). Regarding the No Heroes version... I have yet to decide just how similar they are, but I can't imagine the NH version would be anywhere near as heavily populated or brimming with corruption.
Twilight really frustrated the Hell out of me this time around. Her funny quirks are quickly becoming her biggest weaknesses. The residence of Tartarus are going to take full advantage of that.
I admit, I thought Miss Cadey was next. Tease.
A really tense, atmospheric arc. I got Alien flashbacks with this one.
Now you're just messing with us.
Keep it up!
4464357
You may approve of her behavior a touch more in this next chapter. Maybe.
A comparison to Alien? I call that high praise.
What? You accuse me of foreshadowing? Why, I'd never!
Will we ever find out?
4477647
This is a tricky question to answer; the potential for spoilers is staggering. So, short version: yes.
But it's going to be a long time before that answer finally comes up. A very long time. If you're interested in being spoiled a little, then I can provide you with a longer answer in a PM, but I'd rather not share in the story comments.
Starswirl was a nice surprise, especially since he is such a role model for Twilight. What a good choice! I assume he represents obsession or indifference. I wish it could have been a bit more crushing for Twilight to see Starswirl like that, but I think it was accurate with her just being disgusted with him in the end. I had wondered why Mare-do-well was in there and still got no straight answer on how Starswirl would have any idea of that costume design for his creation.
Locking yourself away qualifies well as a vice, actually, doing no good for a world that needs your special talents. His is the most striking picture perhaps for those who get absorbed in their own little world such that they lose all care for others, diluting themselves into believing that the world doesn't deserve them.
4464357
I thought Cadence would be next, too.
4484555
Actually Starswirl was meant to be representative of a certain variety of sloth, which in this case I interpreted less as outright laziness and more as an unwillingness to act. Placing him as the second Lord of Tartarus is meant to be a huge signal to the reader about how different Equestria is due to Twilight's 'mistake,' and having her not recognize this clue for what it is plays into her total devotion to the concept that Celestia must be good no matter what. Her almost childlike devotion is just an extra piece of the tragedy.
Regarding Ne'er-Do-Well, I'm operating under the assumption that fate has a way of making certain coincidences occur. Regardless of the timeline, the appearance of Mare-do-Well is what it is, just like how, say, Sunset doesn't look any different. somehow, in ways beyond comprehension, certain things just fall into place.
It's gonna drive me crazy not knowing. Gotta read it all now. No Rest!
4587880 im thinking "alien" or more specific "face huggers"
Nice.
Oh, sh—
Twi isn't the only one whose blood ran cold. Also, Nice again.
This chapter didn't seem so torturous or suspenseful as the last one. I guess you have to go slow sometimes to appreciate speed when it happens.
Thinking against the grain served me well—I knew it wouldn't be Cadance. I imagine her being about 4th or 5th. Didn't expect Star Swirl, though. I was wondering how "Mare-do-Well" would affect this story. You got me real intrigued now.
4930611
I dunno, I considered that last part rather suspenseful. Regardless, each circle was meant to be traumatizing in an entirely different way. Also, I chose the order of the Lords with very specific intentions in mind.
Er...'findings'?
I'm intrigued, yet not completely captivated at the premise. I can get behind the idea, as some serious set-up is involved, but I'm keeping my vote silent still.
4931373 im calling ner do well could sense she didn't belong and was searching her soul and memories to see if she belonged there also im calling nightmare moon as a lord
Oh god. It's happened. I don't want to read this anymore. I'm having all these horrible flashbacks to what happens at the end. Just for example, I started cringing just when Sunset was setting Twilight's wing, and that happens in the very beginning! Hoo-boy. I thought that possessing foreknowledge of this story would inure me somewhat to its subject matter. But it seems like the opposite is true! And we haven't even gotten into the really bad chapters.
6075869
I went back to re-read that scene after you mentioned it... and found a typo. I've edited and re-edited this story over a dozen times, and I'm still finding typos!
6075961
Oh so you have time to go back over this chapter but not mine? I see how it is.
But seriously, I was the fuckmothering editor for this story and I didn't even notice a typo!
I'm intrigued by the physical pain/body horror in this chapter. Dante rarely focuses on such things. His suffering is more poetically aesthetic than bones and crunch, as opposed to I Have No Mouth and I must Scream. The difference between feeling the vomit sting your sinuses as your dom gets a little too overzealous and imagining an eternity encased in latex.
What's with all the references to dying? I guess Tartarus isn't actually an afterlife but rather something physical in Equestria, but it sure seems like Sunset at least should prefer death to whatever else could happen to her. The whole point of Inferno is that death isn't some kind of peaceful oblivion.There's no escaping from your sins.
I'm of mixed opinion as to Twilight's impression of the fog ghosts, as I am to her clod headed rationalism in Feeling Pinkie Keen. On the one hand, it's not like it's an implausible depiction of people of her temperament in real life. On the other, it's not like the existence of ghosts is logically impossible and someone who had taken the scientific method to heart would hardly dismiss the possibility out of hand given everything else Twi had seen. Ghosts happen to be a ruse, but it's not like the question was never open. Pythagoras had a mystic cult and Newton was the preeminent occultist of his day.
My read on Twi's character is that she'd be pretty sympathetic to Starswirl's goals and methods, though I may be projecting. Think Gandalf taking the ring. Twi has many virtues, but rejecting knowledge and power aren't among them.
Hmmmmmm..... So many reactions to choose from....
First one I'm going to pick is my enjoyment of this chapter. Seriously man, I've been looking for something to inspire my own tales of Twilights time in hell, and you have not disappointed. Just from this chapter alone I've thought of new and intriguing ways Twi can use dark magic. (Don't worry I don't plagiarise other peoples work)
Second reaction is cautionary cynicism. You said the mature tag was not enough to warn people of what they were getting themselves into. Yet I have not felt anything other than mild amusement at your descriptions of gore. One sentence something along the lines of "a pile of ickiness" was really good. But I'm not going to get my hopes too high if you're sticking to this level of goriness.
You mean it’s made up of the souls of the prisoners of Tartarus?
made of souls
Soul energy is the best magic source in Tartarus.
Soul energy is magic
Looks at Twilight's butt-mark. You know Twilight, I'm thinking there might have been another way to defeat Ne'er.
6917460
Oh noes! You found Ne'er's only weakness!
orig09.deviantart.net/2022/f/2016/039/9/6/cutie_mark_magic_by_underpable_d8nbqrb_by_paulasaran-d9r2jf6.png
Nice pun. I feel that the spell Ne'er-Do-Well cast relates to the last line, with the fog. My guess is that it is something to screw with the perspectives and minds of Sunny and Twi in some way, or it is meant as some variety of tracking spell. I want to say this part of Tartarus is meant to reflect fraud in some way, but there was nothing very fraud-like about it or the creations that stalked this area. I guess it might be wrath, then?
9545392
Actually, this chapter’s sin is sloth.
9545594
...That makes much more sense.
I also noticed that Sunny isn't in the cover art, and that's starting to make me worried. Though, not for the 'oh no she might die' reason but 'I think Sunnybun might be the betrayer' reason.
And so, in an interesting twist, Starswirl is Sloth.