Italics, we meet again.

ok, remember you asked. the words at the end of the selection are suggestion only, do what you will with them. Good story.

she might ( )made him do a lot of things that he usually would do, but there [have] [wouldn't]
smile on his face if that meant to had something to do [he]
managed to get a job as a florists ( ) [helper]
she quietly awed, for support, [dawed]
a zillion time different than a pony or anything [times]
about to go to you flower [your]
courtyard![/i[ [??]
they have parted me with Flash? [paired] ??
Watcher squeak like a ( ? ) in surprise [filly]
knock down a section of my wall in [knocking]

*reads title*
Ugh

she might made him do a lot

Hey mate sorry to bother but its might 'have' or 'of' depending.

she might made him do a lot of things that he usually would do

not sure how to not sound like an asshole but i i guess its wouldn't do

meant to had something to do

sorry again but i guess you ment 'have'

He had really had looking forward

Sigh now im starting to annoy myself at sounding like a douche but delete the first had and second had put a was.

I do love the story btw

Is it me or the fact that area amd candence relationship fucked and i dont mean just to hate.
I feel more bad for shining then anyone at this point, before it was ares in the first story but now i think he kind of ruined a childhood/marriage couple and ares is on top of her even though shining and her have been through more then ares but just leaves shining just beacuse he didnt know what to do when cadence was sad.
If he feel in love with luna or celestia it makes since he isnt ruining any relationship but with cadance its kins of sad for shining.

she might made him do

make

Luckily for him he didn’t not have

did

he actually managed to get a job as a florists

florist

he was little,and he

little and

Those are the ones I noticed most and could remember.

I was honestly hoping that for the the whole Cadence, Shining, Echo scene to play out a little differently.

Cadence: "Echo, you're now Captain and you get the nice pay raise that comes with it. Flash you're now Sergeant, your new post is between the ice cream store and the flower shop, which coincidentally isn't too far away from the fireworks store and as for you my dear ex-hubby..." Cadence said with a glimmer of vindictiveness. "...you're now Private Gruntbucket!"

Been holding off on saying this in hopes of a redeeming factor but... Not a fan of Echo

5388458 She was,quite literally,A drill Sargent...Now she's a drill /captain/....She isn't /supposed/ to be likeable,She's supposed to get the job fucking done,which she does admirably.

5388587 She's also a character in a story, in which case not being likable is a crime punishable by death!

Early on I thought I would like her, but it gest isn't working without Ares around to harasses her.

5388724 Yes,But this lets us see how she acts when she /isn't/ being driven up down and across the wall by our resident representative of the species Homo Sapiens Sapiens,Which provides a nice counter-balance and lets you get a better feel for the character.

5388727 I have seen she is a hard ass drill Sargent, and when she isn't being a hard ass drill Sargent she's dull.

So fare her greatest contribution to the story has been being humiliated for our amusement.

Yay, more good chapter. I wonder tulip is gonna think,of ares.

Interesting days ahead for everypony it looks like.

I don't always tend to flowers
But when I do, I do it in Equestria

Stay Manly, my friends

Daaaang, things miiiiiight be a bit akward.........even more so once Luna gets back in the Picture.

Only mistake I noticed in my sleep deprived state

“Oh, hello, Ares!” I mean, how many other giant monkey things are running around?! It’s not like he’s a zillion time different than a pony or anything! “It’s me, Tulip, you’re boss.

You missed the end quote and used the wrong your

There is something I dont get here.

When did Shiny lose his rank as captain?

Tecnically he only losed his title as prince of the empire, and nothing more.

Why does he need to start all over again? Am I missing something?

5390367

He was a captain of Celestias' guard, not the crystal empire. He trained the guards as their prince not their captain, so he was never officially part of the crystal empires military.

5390367 Hmm. I would say that it could be that the Crystal Empire has a diffrent buy Simulare Ranking system; he is a comander in Celestias Guards but not in the Crystal guard.

But who knows....

5391030 I... Cant remember

well i'm all cot up and now i play the waiting game
oh loved it by the way

stay classy

Still waiting on Luna to show up at the crystal empire

....Has anyone else become really bored of this story yet? Nothing interesting happened in this chapter... at all.

5395486

Don't worry brah, I'll make sure to Michael Bay up the next ch for you; explosions and transformers and shit

5395538 Hey, don't forget the Ninja Turtles, they don't like being left out.

But seriously, what happened in this chapter? You had Ares get up early for a job to show he's a hard worker (even though we already knew that since he made a rock garden in the last story), you had Cadence be all snuggly and grumpy to show that she loves Ares and enjoys his company (even though we already knew that), you had Shinning going through tough physical exercises to show that he's out of shape and he's trying to get back into it (even though we already knew that), you had Echo being a vindictive cunt (even though we already knew that), and you had an awkward interaction scene between Cadence and Shinning to show that not everything is fine between them, despite all the bullshittin that Cadence was doing (even though we knew this was going to happen since we read their thoughts in previous chapters.) And you had Echo being promoted to Captain for reasons and Shinning had to be yelled at by Echo again because he had no idea what to say, essentially being kicked while he's down. And there's no word of Luna but whatevs.

I hope you see where I'm coming from

This is by no means a bad story, but really, all I see are characters that I'm really not starting to care for anymore since they don't do anything of substance for long stretches of time, a character that has been subjectively unlikable since the beginning, a whiny princess that wants to butt in on a new and fresh relationship, and an underdog that keeps being kicked down because his wife divorced him and he still has yet to move on so he has to deal with a yelling ass-munch.

Again, I hope you see where I'm coming from

5395641

It's honestly just a transition chapter where I needed to just set somethings up before getting to the interesting bits. I wanted to introduce flower pone and get Ares in his job all the while keeping the chapters under 10,000 words so I get them done in time.

5395674 Oh okay then, I get where you're coming from. Everyone's always craving dat new new. I'll just keep hoping that Shinning realizes that there's more mares out there than Ms. Pink Tease. Or else he'll end up as a Mr. Solo Dolo.

5395641

And with the whole "no character's being changed thing" I'm just trying to make sure each and every character (whether you like them or not) has a nice, natural character arch. I don't know if you can tell, but this fic is gonna be LONG, maybe at least another 20, 30 ch (maybe) and right now everyone's just getting settled in; Ares is getting his job, Echo and Shining are gonna get used to their situations, Luna still has to wait for Twilight to finish that super teleport spell, Cadence still needs to find a way to fuck Ares without me screwing it up, etc, etc, so for a little while, it might seem like nothings happening. But stuff will happen; just not now. In this ch....

and maybe the next ch.

5395713 It took ninety thousand words for characters to settle in? Damn, this story might the next "The Chase."

Tulip sounds like such a sweet mare =)

Why I feel is going to be a ShiningXEcho relationship?

I can't not bring this up again. WHY THE FUCK IS ECHO GETTING PROMOTED FOR BEING A PIECE OF SHIT? 'She acted quickly"? you mean left her guards under the command of a civilian and couldn't keep Flash under control letting the whole situation spiral out of control instead of, I don't know, SHOUTING 'HEY ARE YOU OK IN THERE"? You can clearly hear through the walls and if there was an assassin already in there that sealed the door then bringing attention to your presence literally couldn't hurt and could only help to defuse the situation if, I don't know, the room was just sealed by the immortal archmage that lives inside it who clearly wanted privacy.

On top of all of that she spent then next whole day putting her guards who simply did what she told her through brutal potentially harmful 'training' as punishment while she, the responsible for their actions, sat back and relaxed. Flash sentry is the only guard other than her actually responsible for the fuck up and it shows how poor of a Captain she would be if she both doesn't take responsibility for her actions and equates screaming and forced labor with creating intelligent and proficient guards.

Furthermore, WHAT IS THE POINT OF BRINGING BACK SHINING IF NOT TO BE CAPTAIN? Him coming and being Captain was solely to train the guards who clearly need it. If he, the most qualified person in the whole Crystal city, isn't going to be responsible for training them there isn't a point for him to be in the guards. If he needed closure with Cadance and Ares then talking it out would be the right move not becoming what is essentially Cadance's servant.

Echo is now and has always been and arrogant, insulting, selfish cunt and I she makes this fic worse and worse the longer she is in it without rebuke for her shitty behavior. This scenario would have been the perfect chance to REMOVE HER from the story but instead you reward her shitty behavior, invalidate the whole point of another character entering the scene, and set up the cast for literally pointless drama. This little arc of her abusing the guards who were following her incompetent orders has been so bad I can only skim her parts. Please please PLEASE pull the focus away from her and get back to Ares, Cadance, and Luna. You know the whole point of this story.

Am i the only one who like Echo? :D

And as always looking foward to the next chapter, love this fanfic ^^

5408713 The training would have occurred whether the incident in question happened or not, as she clearly stated. “There’s no doubt about it, we really bucked up last night,” she muttered, so quietly that Shining had to strain to hear her. “But that doesn’t mean the world’s going to stop spinning!”

Edit: Said this once before :P

5409811
But we didn't fuck up, SHE and Flash fucked everything up. She left the guards under the command of a civilian with potential anger issues against the princess's lover and couldn't keep Flash under control even though he is supposed to be her soldier. She should have had the situation under control but failed in every regard. Saying one line that sorta admits that everything is literally your fault and then sipping lemonade under the shade while forcing your cadets to do back breaking labor while screaming insults at them is not actually accepting responsibility. And on top of that the training only works in movie magic terms of work as hard as you possibly can with no regards to risk of injury. Yeah, just go full out right away and push well past your limits. Pulled muscles and torn tendons don't actually exist. Extreme physical labor with no regard to the state a person/pony is in beforehand will always end in them getting super fit not them suffering from potentially crippling injury due to overexertion.

5410331 What im saying is that the training and how she handles it wouldn't have been any different even if the incident didn't occur. The soldiers are not getting punished for what happened, but I do admit that Flash getting out of line should have been addressed.
For the part with Shining it is strange that she lets him tag along after commenting about his mental state, only way I se it is that she would prefer to keep an eye on him (she already seem to think that more then one guard was needed to escort him out of the castle so it would be better he tag along rather then to split up) as they simply go and se whats up (nothing points out that anything bad has happend yet). But as they come across the door turned to stone things get a bit complicated.
How the training actually affect the ponies is another issue. But as she herself handled worse (by her own words) and came out of it ok, it would seem reasonable that already trained soldiers should be able to handle it. I'm not really going to go into great detail in this since we have no real idea about the physical attributes in this universe and this fanfic in particular.

5410523
I get what you mean about the training, but what I mean is that she is a cunt. Being abusive to your cadets in the interest of training doesn't really fit with the whole harmonious ponies serving alicorn of love and peace and happiness and kindness and etc. Echo would be a cunt for human standards but is exceptionally so for everything we have been shown about pony society.

My whole point of the multiple posts I've made throughout this story is that Echo is both an insufferable cunt AND a bad addition to the cast. She was introduced in the worst way and the fact that her first appearance didn't end with Ares and Cadance screaming in Luna's face to fuck off with her psycho bitch guard is a damn shame. All Echo does in every scene is insult and antagonize everyone with no meaningful repercussion. That she is being PROMOTED over Shining who came back explicitly to continue training the guard, with Luna's personal recommendation over Echo, is absurd especially considering the reason she is being promoted is of a situation she failed horribly in.

She doesn't even guard Ares anymore. Flash handles all of that and Shining is now back to handling training so exactly what is her purpose in the Crystal Empire? In universe its to be a spy for Luna but story progression wise its to be a cunt to other and start shit, and I hate her and every scene she is a part of because of that. Why can't we just have a story about good and interesting characters going through a difficult and already interesting situation, you know like everything in the story not Echo.

That she is the representative of Luna's will in this story paints Luna in the absolute worst light without Luna just trying to outright rape Ares. This story would be way better if A. Echo had literally any redeeming qualities or B. Echo wasn't in the story and we just had Shining and Luna play a larger role.

5411235 Ok now I understand, haven't read trough all your post and simply responded to the latest. To what you just said I can certainly se your point of view and you make many good arguments. I still like her even thou she is by all accounts a cunt (thou I will look over her again and revaluate my thoughts about her).
Also as a side note I must say that I love your observation about how much of a cunt she must be by equestria standards compared to ours.
Thank you for time and taking time explaining, I really do appreciate a good reason for disliking (or out right hating) a character even thou I might not agree. :)

If I miss anything or make anything unclear just say so and I will respond asap, since im writing this on my mobile (technology hates humans).

5411318
Its cool. Glad for your understanding response. I express my hate of Echo because I feel she drags down what is an otherwise excellent story. I've read quite a few stories on Fimfiction, cough 5 million plus words read cough, so I hate to see one weak part of a story cause it to spiral downwards till I can't stand to read it anymore. Divided Rainbow is the most recent story that did that and its a sore spot for me. I'm just really worried about the plot armor around Echo causing her to become a progressively more important character instead of being in the background pretending she doesn't exist.

I can't even stand to read Echo's scenes anymore and the incredibly OoC Cadance accepting the unequivocal failure of Echo, Flash, and her guards as a whole are kind of a red flag for 'story about to go to shit'. I mean the whole fiasco could have been averted if a single guard had just shouted through the wall asking if they are alright, or knocked on a window, or even just broken through a window instead of blowing up a wall and potentially killing Ares and Cadance due to fly chunks of stone, but nope Cadance thinks they did great and that Echo would be a better captain than Shining Armor who was ALREADY CAPTAIN OF TWO GUARD FORCES.

5411468 All too familiar with how one character can ruin an otherwise excellent story, and when it expands just like with Echo in your case its like an anchor dragging the ship into the abyss.
Maybe she will be given a backstory that explains abit more about her, since with the points you brought up I do want a reason for why she is such a cunt.

5395713
Ok, I've been talking to others in this chapter comment section but now I need to directly ask you. WHAT THE FUCK IS CADANCE DOING? Why is she promoting Echo for her unequivocable failure last night? She left her guard under the command of a civilian who proceeding to blow a hole in solid stone risking the deaths of Ares and Cadance due to flying debris because no one thought to shout through the wall or knock on a window, and she couldn't keep Flash in line and stop him from crashing through a window against her direct orders. If there was an assassin in their room the fact that there was a massive roar means they need to find out what is happening as fast as possible, not be sneaking, so there is literally no reason they shouldn't have shouted out asking Cadance if she is ok before breaking down a wall.

On top of that why is Echo being promoted to Captain over Shining Armor is is already a captain and returned to the Crystal empire EXPLICITLY to take the post of Captain to continue training the guard, with the personal recommendation of Luna mind you. If Echo was brought in the story, curse that abrasive plot armor protected cunt, to both guard Ares and train the guard why is she here now when Flash does all of the guarding and Shining, who was sent by Luna to replace Echo, is now here to train the guard.

It seems like literally every scene Echo is in is just her being an abrasive, insulting, arrogant piece of shit to everyone and getting away with it because of plot armor. The moment she was introduced I couldn't believe that Ares and Cadance would accept that bullshit from Luna and they let is slide because of 'reasons' IE Guard Ares Train Guards and now she isn't needed for either, and yet she is insanely made captain to keep her in the story that she contribute nothing to. She exists in the story to piss off the other characters and stir up drama and this story really doesn't need it. It is interesting with just Ares and Cadance slice of life, its really interesting with Luna love interest, though non-existant so far, and Shining trying to find closure. Echo just spoils every scene she is a part of and I can't even stand to read them anymore this chapter and the last went too far plot armor wise for me to handle.

5411495

Yeah, I feel Echo is just kinda...there, its like.

"Hey look, there's a bat pony OC!"

"Cool, why is she there, what purpose does she serve to the plot?"

"..."

"..."

"Hey look, there's a bat pony OC!"

You people need to go outside and take a few deep breaths.

Shining NOW taking orders and shit from Echo now makes sense with their new ranks.

Tulip is the Fluttershy of flowers.
Flutter shy fans rejoice!

Ahhh Echo, she is the absolute best Bat pony ever, and I approve of her.
Heeheehee, awesome work on this chapter, I loved it!
Echo is best captain!

5411495 Divided Rainbow gave ye a sore spot mate? Well you should have read Xenophilia first bro. (If you did do this then I don't know what to say other than to smile and nod.)

Okay what the fuck is this: Shining getting demoted and Echo, who has shown to be incompetent if she can't keep Flash in line, gets promoted to captain for her fuck up? Did Cadence suffer a stroke off screen or something?

Echo should have been whipped naked through the streets and placed in a stockade for gross negligence and dangerous incompetence! Remember, Ares already doesn't like her, and both he and Cadence know she's only there so Luna can exert untoward influence upon them. The moment Operation Cockblock went down, Echo should have had her furry ass sent back to Canterlot with a scathing letter scribbled across it in permanent marker.

to make it up them

up to.

madness.You

missing space.

you’re boss.

your.

And oh boy, Echo is a fucking cunt. I'd just pull her head right out of her ass. Not that she have her head deep up her plot, no. I mean in a "pull the head all the way through the body and make it exit the ass" way.