She Who Sacrificed

“Stop!, we have you surrounded you traitorous fiend, give up and you shall have the potential for a pardon from a merciless death” one of the higher ranking solar guard from outside the golden oak library shouted.

“See the thing is… that i've done too many wrongs in the eyes of the two empires, what I call saving you call treason, I know without a doubt my former mentor would execute me on the spot, no trial just an execution away from the public eye and a headline saying lies” the mare in the oak lamentably spoke “My fate is sealed, I already know you have multiple magic barriers preventing me from using a teleportation spell or even passing through if I somehow evaded all the pegasi but there is one thing none of you accounted for”

“And what is that?” one of the Spellcasters shouted.

“Time”

The faces of the masses of lunar and solar guards all contorted from stoic faces to looks of confusion, some shouted to message the diarchies when realization came to the few.

“Time is something I discovered when I realized I didn't have enough of it, time was something that was against me so inturn I took it and forced it into my control”

Now the guards sent of the multiple messengers to the diarchies for they no longer knew what they were dealing with.

“But do not fret, my time is up, all attempts of mine would be futile from now on, i've been playing this game far too long now you know all my moves yet you're able to surprise me every time we meet. I have run out of cards I can play, I sacrificed so much but in the end I still loss, like I said time is against me once more, so I shall give myself more, to all of you it would seem like a moment but to me it could possibly be an eternity”

After the ancient mare uttered those words everything froze. From all the guards outside her door to the diarchies flying to her location at lighting fast speeds, the air stopped, the water stopped even light itself stopped for when time stops so must everything else with it except the mare that was bending it around her.

These were her last few moments, the mare was a lavender unicorn with a navy blue mane and pink highlights she looked almost normal if it weren't for the fact that she wasn't made out of flesh but instead a lavender fire in the shape of a alicorn sized pony, the flames had multiple runes of various shapes and sizes engraved into the edges of it. The mares eyes were orbs of the purest magics, the magic of harmony and friendship. Her mane was a deep navy blue fire that could only be matched by the most perfect sapphires, and her pink flame highlight was made out of the magic of love. Her horn was massive made to cast spells rivaled only by the alicorns themselves. This mare was Twilight Sparkle, former student of princess Celestia and former friend of princess Luna, and traitor of Equestria.

Twilight Sparkle recalled what happened to get her where she was now. It all started with a simple disagreement at an important wedding with her friends who infact all died over 800 years ago due to their mortality. When the nightmare monsters returned from their pits in tartarus they were invisible to the common pony’s eye. The only ones that could see them were the princesses and herself. The only things that could combat the nightmare legion were the elements of harmony. But as Twilight remembered that disagreement elevated to something else, something that broke their friendships and therefore “broke” the elements of harmony. So Twilight did what she had to and sacrificed her hopes and dreams of rekindling their friendship in a last ditch effort to save the princesses from the influence of the nightmare creatures yet Twilight failed. The princesses were no longer Celestia and Luna but instead Nightmare Solaris and Nightmare Moon in their bodies. From that moment on Twilight watched as civil war was fought between the Solar Empire and Lunar Republic behind the scenes. It looked as if it was all still one empire but the battles were secretly happening outside of the borders for dominance over the other empire. When she decided that enough was enough and exposed the princesses she met with an accusation of treason for attempted murder of the crowns and deemed a traitor of Equestria and sentenced with banishment from her homeland.

For several years Twilight wandered in misery alone almost starving several times with bouts of depression until one day she remembered fondlingly that her younger self thought of a rebellion, she could have lived peacefully in banishment but no a rebellion just had to happen. After years of hard work for the rebellion, sacrificing the chance of a peaceful quiet life for the a hope of a better Equestia one day built up enough strength to make its mark on Equestia, ceasing the civil war and reuniting the corrupted monarchs a massive mistake on her part.

The years of rebelling eventually took a toll on its leader the now elderly Twilight and once again she made another life changing sacrifice. When her body no longer could keep up she sacrificed it too, discarded it like worthless object. In her own way Twilight become a deity she was no longer mortal and was able to tap into mass amounts of raw magic to cast some of the most complicated and deadly spells to ever existed. When Twilight’s rebellion finally reached the walls of Canterlot victory seemed imminent and within grasped only to be destroyed by a purple dragon with green spikes the size of a mountain and her own former elderly friends.

None of them thought Twilight as a friend but only as an enemy to the crown they swore to protect. That night Twilight’s army was incinerated by the green inferno of Spike’s with Twilight narrowly escaping the monarchs,her number one assistant and elements of harmony. From that day on Twilight Sparkle was demonized and any pony following her would have a humiliating public execution.

As Twilight Sparkle remembered all of this she cried the equivalent of tears for a fiery being. She thought selfishly“Why did this all have to happen to me?” with that she continued remembering.

After that failure more and more failure happened, the rebellion was a failure and she was all alone once again in her elongated life, but one day a scroll appeared in her face. Several minutes later after scanning it for any spells she opened it, it was a letter from the only pony that still saw her as a friend, it was from Cadence.

The letter detailed how she was dieing, the lack of love in Equestia was killing her and when she died Cadence didn't want her magic to fall into the wrong hands especially not her Aunt’s and how soon their would be no love left in Equestria. A few days later an orb of love magic appeared and infused itself with Twilight, that day meant Cadence died. Multiple years later she slowly inherited the elements of harmony as their bearers died even the non-sentient objects realised their bearers were corrupt. With the powers of Harmony,friendship and love Twilight was back in action.

Twilight yet again took another stand against the two Nightmares but even with the combine powers of the purest of magics she still failed and more sacrifices were made for she herself donned the armor of the nightmares she vowed never to wear but it was still not enough even with the magics of harmony, friendship, love, chaos, and dark all at her disposal she failed to match the combined strength of the united monarchs the armor of corruption was shattered and a defeated Twilight back to square one again. Once again Twilight was on the run but this time she decided to delve into the unknown parts of magic, the biggest one being the manipulation of time. Then after several decades of mastering it became her triumph card and a potential game changer but a side effect of time magic was infinite amounts of wisdom. It would have been useful if not for the fact that she now understood that Twilight was for out of her league and it was foolish to even think there was a chance at winning when she was versing a nation all alone with no one to back her up. Twilight realized when they came for that she had been losing for almost 800 years. With a flash from her lengthy horn time started to continue flowing.

“There I had my moment, for you it wasn’t anything for me it the last moments to myself before I die”

Suddenly waves of unsuppressed energy, making the air feel heavy, hit her hard and in the royal Canterlot voice the duo of Nightmares shouted

“FOR YOU ACTS OF TREASON AND REBELLION DESTROYING THIS COUNTRY AND RUNNING FOR 800 YEARS YOU SHALL BE KILLED WHERE YOU STAND, YOU WILL NOT HAVE A TRAIL!!!” The power and rage in their voices knocked all the guards of their hooves. Many of them had shocked faces at what the princesses sentenced Twilight to. Twilight looked up at them the only one still standing and said in an almost inaudible voice less than a whisper.

“I’m sorry I failed, I’m sorry that all this happened, I’m sorry about what I did to myself.”

“REPENTING YOUR SINS WILL NOT DO ANYTHING NOR HELP YOUR YOUR CASE.” the Nightmares thundered

“Don’t worry I smart enough to know i've lost so I accept any judgment you deem fit.” Twilight solemnly emitted. If the Nightmares were shocked by her words they hide it well but clearly they were not prepared for that response since it was until several ominous moments later they responded.

“BESTOWING DEATH NOW THAT YOU'VE GIVEN UP UPON YOU WOULD BE A MERCIFUL PUNISHMENT, BUT IN LIGHT OF HOW WE'VE BEEN UNABLE TO CONTROL YOU THAT SHALL BE YOUR FATE.” The two alicorns started charging up their horns, magic chains surrounded Twilight and binding her to the ground, holding her in a position forcing to look at the alicorns and the heavens.

When a thought came to Twilight a bittersweet smile appeared on her face and she closed her eyes.

“Perhaps I can rekindle my friendships that I lost, oh how much I wished I never lost them.”

The alicorns horns shined even brighter only to darken, the faces grew vile with a sinister look.

“EXCEPT FOR A SMALL CHANGE OF PLANS TWILIGHT SPARKLE YOU SHALL BE CONDEMNED TO SUFFER IN THE PITS OF TARTARUS.”

The chains started to tug and pull a terror filled Twilight into the ground. Pain was what Twilight felt, dirt filled her insides of her tearing her apart if she could have screamed she would have and after what felt like an entirety of she was pulled into the ground and the world turned black.

The alicorns maliciously laughed and the guards ran in fear from their rulers for they had seen the true faces of their rulers and none wanted to share Twilights fate.

Author's Note:

I may eventually rewrite this since this was written on Easter day and somewhat rushed/not completely thought out simply due to time constraints and like I said this is my first fanfic ever and I'm pretty bad at writing in the first place so I want constrictive criticism if you can afford giving me some to improve this story.
P.S. The song was "16 Fellowship of Magic - Pony Empires Complete" by Carbon Maestro look it upon Youtube since I clearly don't know how to link it.
P.S.S. Twilight`s appearance is basically the cover art but with Twilight`s fleshy/mane parts being made out of fire.

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Georg

Georg #1 · Apr 22nd, 2014 · · ·

Yeah, it needs work. Nice concept, though. I think you're looking for a rolling cadence type of flow where vast powers clash and small ponies run for cover. like:

The Elements of Harmony seemed like broken toys to her now, shattered at the betrayal of their core. She had toyed with many artifacts since then: amulets, charms and ancient devices of ground-shaking power. They had all been cast aside as unworthy of the might needed to defeat two goddesses, united in their desire for her destruction. The first rune of silver fire she had carved into her own body had disabled her for weeks, but the blaze of power it released was far worth the pain, and soon she carved another, and then another, until there was no place left to carve her flesh, and the world seemed as fragile as spun glass to her new powers. But it still was not enough.

Dextroscity

Dextroscity #2 · Apr 22nd, 2014 · · ·

4272817 Damn you and your skills, but anyway thanks for the comment I really appreciate it! and I think I was aiming for that I just couldn't pull it off

Hopeless Appraisal

Hopeless Appraisal #3 · Aug 26th, 2014 · · ·

Hmm. This story and picture just gave me a very good idea. Gaaah! If only I didn't just start seriously working on and posting my own first fic.

Your story here really isn't a bad concept at all. The problem is just how quickly you wrote it. Rushing through it all in one day without any drafts or second opinions is the only thing you really did wrong.

Definitely don't shrug off writing just because it doesn't look good with so little effort. Take your time. Keep reading good stories and emulate the things you like, look up what you don't know, and maybe pick up some editing. You will improve much faster than you think, and then sharing the stories in your head will just be fun!

Oh yeah, and I came across you while commenting on PaulAsaran's page.

Dextroscity

Dextroscity #4 · Aug 28th, 2014 · · ·

4911185 Yeah rushing through it wasn't ever a good idea, and I knew it, but I just really wanted to post it. Currently most of my focus with is within digital art, although my motivation and interest never died for this story unlike my other one, I've considered doing heavy revisions, and enlisting somewhere for help, so possibly It might happen, especially with this being a one.

jwizard