“Scuse me. Seems there ain’t but one pony on this property who’s allowed ta say ‘No wait’, an’ who could that be? Why, I guess that’s me! Pinkie Pie, what are you talkin’ about? Go on, Snowy, Dursaa, move out…”
Is Zebra-speak contagious, or is that a coincidence?
...Aaand, it sounds like Dash is planning to break curfew, and since AJ has to stick by her side...
Listen, did you have me in MIND when trying to set up Fluttershy as being unsympathetic, or are you taking shotgun blasts knowing that SOMEthing is going to land a direct hit on everyone?
Pinkie deserves better than someone who's going to make statements about "a real mare would x." but she is in love, and she is eager to please, and she is not me.
Still i don't see this ending any way but the worst possible.
Lets think, we have Twilight losing all redemptive qualities, Fluttershy being an idiot, and Apple Bloom getting way to caught up in her boss-mare persona... yaaa, just not seeing a happy ending this time.
I haven't pushed things this hard since Rarity's Worst Day Ever. But I am setting up a really shattering ending… which yes, feels good and is the best thing for all these poor crazy foolish ponies.
If Twilight seems out of control and alicornhood is not taking her good places and Fluttershy seems driven by really dark and self-destructive urges and both of 'em seem impossibly set in their ways and headed for disaster…
…then it's working, and there's a lot of book to go before you get to the ending, so be brave.
4245578 I finally got some uninterrupted reading time and dug into this story. This chapter is as far as I got. I think I'm going to have to do the Author/reader equivalent here of calling out my safeword, stopping the scene, and thanking you for your time, walking away without an up or down vote.
Quite likely this is less of a reflection on the work as it is of me leaping in at book 6 of an ongoing series. And I do believe you when you say that you're building up to something satisfying. But in the meantime, I'm running into a wall of death edgeplay, everyone casually facilitating a literal gang rape (I'm not sure what else to call it when she is pre-consenting to a bunch of strangers doing whatever they want, including injury, without regard to her consent), and a horde of other, lesser cruelties, and for me,, the literary release at the end isn't going to be worth the pain of getting there.
May I ask — in all seriousness and with an open mind — what it is that you (plural) find arousing about such scenes? Or does that have nothing to do with it — are you (singular) trying to challenge people? I do think there's more redeeming value here than, say, Fall of Equestria, because you're fundamentally acknowledging consent issues, and scenes like Rarity's intervention on behalf of Trixie at least nod at the idea that there are things going on here which are fundamentally Not Okay … but this is still pretty shocking stuff, and clearly there is a readership here that isn't me.
....
Is Zebra-speak contagious, or is that a coincidence?
...Aaand, it sounds like Dash is planning to break curfew, and since AJ has to stick by her side...
Oh, and Sweetie? Never change.
I have a bad feeling about Dursaa.
_I_ have a bad feeling about SNOWY!
Dat Applebloom, you're gonna make me not trust zebra's again aren't you miss Rarijinx? ~<3
The zebra is the only one who sees the freight train coming.
Jesus. Looks like Twilight's not the only one about to ruin everything with her sudden urge to power-trip.
Crowbar showing up won't end well for Fluttershy.
4232724
Him and poor Pinkie. Unfortunately, she's determined to stand right on the tracks.
Again I am reminded why marathoning new chapters of any story by AppleJinx is a bad idea. You are too good at evoking emotions in your readers.
TL;DR So Many Feels!
Listen, did you have me in MIND when trying to set up Fluttershy as being unsympathetic, or are you taking shotgun blasts knowing that SOMEthing is going to land a direct hit on everyone?
Oh one more thing:
Pinkie deserves better than someone who's going to make statements about "a real mare would x." but she is in love, and she is eager to please, and she is not me.
Uh... well... this has started not only to be badly characterized, but also badly written.
Though to be honest i don't now how else things could go at this point so you are kinda stuck in it now.
4245449 I promise I didn't name Snowy after you
4245457
well thats good i was really worried
Still i don't see this ending any way but the worst possible.
Lets think, we have Twilight losing all redemptive qualities, Fluttershy being an idiot, and Apple Bloom getting way to caught up in her boss-mare persona... yaaa, just not seeing a happy ending this time.
4245457
Even still damind if i can stop reading so i suppose you have me there sir
I haven't pushed things this hard since Rarity's Worst Day Ever. But I am setting up a really shattering ending… which yes, feels good and is the best thing for all these poor crazy foolish ponies.
If Twilight seems out of control and alicornhood is not taking her good places and Fluttershy seems driven by really dark and self-destructive urges and both of 'em seem impossibly set in their ways and headed for disaster…
…then it's working, and there's a lot of book to go before you get to the ending, so be brave.
4245578
I finally got some uninterrupted reading time and dug into this story. This chapter is as far as I got. I think I'm going to have to do the Author/reader equivalent here of calling out my safeword, stopping the scene, and thanking you for your time, walking away without an up or down vote.
Quite likely this is less of a reflection on the work as it is of me leaping in at book 6 of an ongoing series. And I do believe you when you say that you're building up to something satisfying. But in the meantime, I'm running into a wall of death edgeplay, everyone casually facilitating a literal gang rape (I'm not sure what else to call it when she is pre-consenting to a bunch of strangers doing whatever they want, including injury, without regard to her consent), and a horde of other, lesser cruelties, and for me,, the literary release at the end isn't going to be worth the pain of getting there.
May I ask — in all seriousness and with an open mind — what it is that you (plural) find arousing about such scenes? Or does that have nothing to do with it — are you (singular) trying to challenge people? I do think there's more redeeming value here than, say, Fall of Equestria, because you're fundamentally acknowledging consent issues, and scenes like Rarity's intervention on behalf of Trixie at least nod at the idea that there are things going on here which are fundamentally Not Okay … but this is still pretty shocking stuff, and clearly there is a readership here that isn't me.
Commence read.
Bloom just taking that charge. Bossing with the most bossedness.
You are pushing my boundaries, but... I have come to trust you. And, it's not like I haven't had the crap shocked out of me by you before.
Whoof. I feel like I am in a slow-motion car wreck with this chapter.