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Strata's Sacrifice

During a clear cool night a wealthy Pegasus family receives a delivery. Tragedy follows.

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defunct321

defunct321 #1 · Feb 26th, 2014 · 1 · ·

You need to give more background for this, as it is it's really weird. You introduce the fact that, at one point, there were fifteen male alicorns and do absolutely nothing with it. It could have worked just as well with unicorns, since it's generally thought that some upper class unicorns believe themselves the superior race. And there didn't need to be fifteen children, unless that's reference to something I'm missing, five would have made the point just as well without seeming over the top. Maybe try something less strange and more simple for your next story if you write one.

Lightning Zepher