* First off I had a friend edit for me and he told me my main bad guy sounds alot like Discord. I hadn't seen season 2 yet so I wasn't trying to copy him,and I didn't want to change so sorry if this upsets you.*
In her anger an old rival will release an ancient evil once beaten by the Princesses and their two oldest friends. But with their friends gone and the burden falls on everyone's favorite ponies. Although when caught in trouble they may need the help of a new ally to save Equestria.
Chapters (1)
to short
15908
Thanks for the feedback I realize it was kinda short but there are two reasons for that. First this was the first time Id ever posted my work online let alone let close friends see it making it my starting point. The second reason was a bet with a friend he bet I couldn't write a fan fic in one our that was at least 1500 words. I'm happy to say I'm now $50 richer. So I apologize for it being somewhat short though I may revise and add to it as I go. So I hope to recieve more feedback from everyone to help improve my writing.
Needs a proof reader. ...and a bucket of (,)s.
The hell did I just read? That had to have been the most abrupt story I've ever read. The entire plot comes out of nowhere and ends in pretty much the same way. Your premise is solid, but execution leaves much to be desired.
Enjoy your doughnut.
20135
I went back and reread it after your comment and you right it needs a lot more build up and more needs to happen after the battle. It goes zero to 60 in no seconds flat then hits a brick wall. Although I happy you thought the general concept was good. As always thanks for the feedback.
20135
I went back and reread it after your comment and you right it needs a lot more build up and more needs to happen after the battle. It goes zero to 60 in no seconds flat then hits a brick wall. Although I'm happy you thought the general concept was good. As always thanks for the feedback. Sorry was a spelling error in the first reply.