Mischmasch

by SpiralWriter

Disciples of a Mad God

"So uhh...what do I do with it?"

"Buy stuff."

"I know that, but what?"

"I'd recommend Alcohol."

"...Is that the only thing you drink...ever?"

Alamo and I sat in the saloon that we had partied in the previous night, most of the mess cleaned up by now. The Barkeep was in his usual spot behind the counter, cleaning glasses. Both of our eyes fell on the bag of one thousand bits before us, trying to figure out what to with such a sum of money.

"Well, first off, since both of us took out the worms, why don't we split it even?"I recommended, tapping the bag with a claw, the gold clinking inside.

"Sounds fair 'nuff."He replied, taking a swig of his whiskey, only for the bottle to drop empty air into his mouth. He swished it around thoughtfully, listening for any of his precious liquid inside, then tossed it aside once he figured that it had run out, the bottle breaking upon contact with the floor. The Barkeep gave Alamo a wary glance as he went to go clean up the broken glass.

"Pardon me,"Alamo stood up and tipped his hat in my direction."Ah'll be right back, gotta use the latrine."He stepped outside, the swinging doors creaking once, twice, upon his departure, leaving me alone with the bag.

Now, to be honest, I didn't really see much use with the thousand bits. I had no idea how much a bit equaled to a single dollar of currency, and I had no shred of information on the economy of Equestria. Was it good? Was it bad? Did inflation happen, were there taxes to be thought of? What I concluded was, that a thousand bits was simply a thousand bits. And a thousand anything must mean a lot of money, right?

The doors swung again, and I turned, expecting to see my favorite cowpony, only for The Sheriff to come through, sitting opposite of me.

"Now Oddjob, there's something Ah gotta warn ya about."He began, his mustache moving with his words.

I tilted my head curiously and blinked a few times."Warn me of what?"I asked, and regretted what was going to come out of his mouth. Why can't there ever be any good news for once? Like 'Oh, you just got an A+ on that test you ddin't study for!' Or, 'We baked you all of your favorite desserts into one diabetes-inducing cake!'

"Ah overheard you and Alamo talkin' last night. You heard his story, right?"

I nodded.

"Well, there's a lot more to it than that. You heard that he was...in debt, right?"

"Yeah...but he...shot all the ones he was in debt to."

"Just the ones that were nearby. Alamo didn't tell ya everythin'."He leaned in closer, his eyes looking around conspicuously."He got in debt way up in Las Pegasus, city of lights and sin, Ah tell you what. It's one of them pegasus cities in the clouds, 'cept this ones specialty is robbin' ya blind and leavin' ya without a bit to yer name."

"..."

"He got in debt ta one of the biggest crime families up there. The poor feller barely made it back to Appleloosa, all beat up and even a few bullet holes in 'em. We patched him up, and he's spent his time down here, laying low. Looks like that crime family didn't want ta bother sending there goons into a town where even a filly knows how ta use a six-shooter."

"...What are you getting at here?"I questioned, looking at the Sheriff closely. His hardened eyes did not leave mine.

"Ah'm just saying that ya'll should watch out for Alamo Wall when money is laying 'round. It a...tends to disappear and go into his little bank account ta repay that family. And it looks like there's just enough bits here to end his debt and let him have a bit more gambling on the side."

I shook my head."I don't believe you."I crossed my mix-matched arms."Alamo wouldn't do that. I mean...we just spent the past three days together stopping an army of giant worms for crying out loud. I think that built a little level of trust between us."

"You don't know 'im like I do, Oddjob. He'll pull something."

The doors swinging open interrupted us. We both turned to look at Alamo, already another whiskey bottle floating by his face.

"Pull what?"Alamo questioned before swigging down the burning nectar. He let out a satisfied belch afterwards.

"Oh, nothin' ta worry yerself about, Alamo."The Sheriff stood up and made his way for the exit.

"What was that about?"He asked as he took his seat back in front of me.

"Nothing Alamo, nothing."I replied.

---

A burst of light from the nearby window awakened me, the sliver of light directly piercing my eye. I moaned as I heaved myself out of bed, careful not to mash my head into the ceiling. I was in the hospital room that I had occupied just a few nights ago, most of it empty now, but to the patients still in it, they were more than happy to welcome me into it. I even chatted with some of them before heading off to sleep. Obviously saving their town changed their tone towards me.

Doc Patches was nowhere to be seen, as he had spent his time behind Sheriff Mustache's bars in the town jail, leaving the healing of the still injured to the mediocre talent of some local mothers.

I made my way out of the hospital, stretching my lean body to it's full length in the wonderful sunshine. Did I mentioned how much I loved here in the desert? It was as if the serpentine side of me practically reveled in the heat and dust.

A march of clopping hooves alerted me to turn my head, the Sheriff's Deputy making his way towards me frantically. He skidded to a stop in the dirt, breathing a bit heavily.

"O-O...Odd..."He tried to heave out my equestrian name.

"Settle down man..."I tried to remember his full name, but I don't ever recall it actually being said...I just referred to him as Deputy.

"What's up?"I ask him once he caught his breath.

"It's...Alamo..."

"What about the old-timer?"

"He's...he's done something."

"...?"I pulled a worried glance at him.

"Just follow me to the train station."

He galloped away, and I kept up a light jog behind him to keep up. He seemed awfully upset. I wonder what had happened while I was asleep?

We made our way onto the station's plaza, three trainworkers in overalls around a body on the ground. The Deputy came up to them worriedly, and I walked up, wincing at the sight. The Sheriff lay on the ground, still breathing, but a heavy blow to his head had caused a nasty swelling bruise on his temple and a bit of blood to seep down his face.

"Sheriff...what happened?!"I asked, kneeling down.

"Yer friend, that's what happened..."He slowly got on all four hooves with the help of one of the workers.

"Ah saw Alamo earlier this morning headin' for the station, the sun barely rising over the land, so it was pretty dark. Something I as a law official should investigate? Yes. He was probably waitin' on the next train outta town. Now, color me suspicious, but there seemed to be something...bulging from underneath his poncho. Maybe a bag of...oh say, a thousand bits?"The Sheriff barked out at me.

A face of shock and unbelief fell upon my features. I had happily left the bag with Alamo the night before to prove Mr. Mustache wrong. By his story, it seemed I was the one being proven.

"Ah caught up to him, tried to talk. 'Fore Ah could do anythin', he spins around and pistol-whips me inta next week. The next thing Ah know, it's daylight and the trainworkers are around mah semi-conscious self."

"Alamo caught the 6:00 train headin' towards the station that leads to Las Pegasus."One of the workers said."He's probably already there by now."

"Told ya."The Sheriff shook his head as he was lead off to the Hospital for some bandaging, leaving me alone with the Deputy.

"Alamo's a good pony, Oddjob. It's just that...he's had this debt for a long time...and the chance came around for him to get rid of it..."He tried to reason.

"When's the next train leave?"I asked, looking to the train right in front of us.

"Oh...few minutes or so."

I pulled open the door, the steel frame bending easily as I shoved it to one side to get it open. I ducked into the train car, stooping low as to not hit my head. Once inside, I pulled the door shut. It'd work again, albeit with a crushed handprint around the rim of the door.

"Where are you going?!"The Deputy ran up to the window just as the conductor boarded the train, shouting "All Aboooooard!"

"Gonna go get Alamo. Probably punch a little sense into him."I replied, sitting down in an aisle.

A fresh stack of steam rolled out of the train's engine, the wheels beginning to turn down the track. I waved goodbye to the dumbfounded Deputy as the train picked up speed and went down towards my next destination of Equestria: Las Pegasus.

---

I was the only one on the train other than the conductor, who stayed cooped up in the control room. I kinda liked the peace and quiet, reminded me of my room...if my room had a window that showed a rolling landscape before me. A paltry desert of sand and cacti gave way to green fields of blooming flowers and trees, the Equestria that was known in the MLP cartoon. As the train steadily pumped along the tracks, a sense of ease began to settle in me despite the circumstances. Alamo probably had a good reason to take the money. All I had to do was find him, and speak with the chap. We'd make up, have a good laugh, and spend the money together. Everything would soon be good and dandy again.

I leaned back in my seat, letting the calm wash over me, closing my eyes for a quick nap. I'd be fresh and prepared for the rest of the day that way.

It was only when a physical body that popped out of thin air right beside me caused me to panic.

I slammed around and stumbled out of my seat, jumping to my feet, only to knock my head on the ceiling, the very thing I've been trying to avoid. I rubbed the bump forming along my scales and looked at the oddity that had just appeared before me.

"Discord."I whispered the words.

"It's so great to see you again!"The Draconequus chuckled at me as he sat comfortably on the aisle, one leg cross over the other and a glass of chocolate milk in his hand. He daintily sipped it, the glass itself being sucked up instead of the liquid.

"What do you want?"I warily asked as I sat opposite of him. After learning what he did with the worms, I had been wondering when the chaos-maker would show up again.

"Oh,"He chugged down the entire glass, the literal glass, and allowed the milk to simply splash all over the upholstery."Just wanting to see how you were doing, Dismay. Or, so I've heard that it's Oddjob now?"

"It's Oddjob."I replied quickly, not really wanting to get in a conversation with him, but knowing it would be futile not to. He appeared to me for a reason, and the egotistical being would love to hear himself talk my ears off.

"Pity, the name I chose you would have gone so lovingly well with the others."

"...The others?"I raised an eye quizzically at him.

"Oh yes, that's right, you haven't met them yet!"He lightly rapped his knuckles against his forehead."How silly of me. Allow me to introduce the others that I invited to Equestria."

"Others?"I repeated as he waved a monstrous arm, the once empty train cart now filled with other beings, each one holding a different gaze upon me, and each one vastly different in appearance. Suffice to say, I was dramatically shocked.

"This is Decay."Discord pointed at the one closest to him, the creature holding a very wide smirk across his face. He was obviously built after Discord as I was, a draconequus or a jabberwock, his long and slender body outstretching, entirely covered in black fur or scales. He was like a living shadow, except for his face. painted upon his draconic features, face paint in the form of a stark white skull was slathered upon him, his dead, glossy eyes void amongst the white.

"Ooh, and that's Riot and Ruin over there! I'm positively proud of how they came out."Discord's finger went to a creature in the sitting in the far back of the cart.

I had to do a double take when viewing...'them'. A body of a bright green pony with no cutie mark sat in the seat, but protruding from the neck came two heads, the one to the left male, the right female. The male one had a slicked-back, darker green mane, the female, her hair zig-zagging every which way. But what they did share was their violet eyes and permanent grimace.

"How do they..."I began as I stared at their conjoined body."...Go?"

Discord leaned in close to whisper to me."To be frank, I have no idea either."

He clapped his hands and continued on."over there's Bereft...."He motioned to a giant, space filling Griffin who had some spastic movements every once in a while, and not jerky either, whenever he shook, the air around him seemed to distort and bend with him, giving the few inches around the male griffin's body a twisted view.

"Then there's Hysteria..."My dichromatic gaze fell upon what could only be called a harpy. Elegant in her human form, yet feathered like a bird, her hands and feet taloned. She grinned at me, only for rows of razor sharp teeth that equaled mine to greet me.

"Anarchy..."He was a gargoyle.

"Dissonance..."A zebra, except the striped patterns along his body was constantly shifting.

"Strife..."I do believe she was a...pegasus? All I could see running down his back were dozens and dozens of wings.

"Disaster..."Literally a living tornado. He could've been a wisp, but he constantly hurled his etheral body in a spinning motion.

"And finally...Grief."Another draconequues, or jabberwocky, or...I don't know. It was hard to tell whenever they didn't show any sign of chaotic powers. She was the distant of them all, gazing out the window solemnly. She was sleeker and smaller than myself or Decay. Her torso bore grey fur. Actually, overall, she was almost entirely grey in different shades, the only differentiating factor the body parts. Her legs were elegant gazelle's, her arms scaled like a dragon's. Her face appear bovine.

"Got a...theme running with their names, huh?"I said.

"Yep. Fits them, don't you think?"Discord giggled like a school girl after introducing those he had twisted into his image. I felt pity for some of them. This was a peaceful world, and they entered it looking like...this. I didn't fare any better.

"Did they even want to come here?"I turned to look at the seemingly god, the others in the cart awfully quiet.

"Oh, each one had a different contract with me. All you have to worry about,"He patted me atop the head like a child."Is the one we signed. Now, if you'll excuse us,"He snapped his fingers, all of them instantly disappearing.

"We have plans. Ta-ta for now!"

At the end of his sentence, he was gone as well, leaving me alone once more.

Comments

[SethTheWizard]

Oddjob X Grief?

[Assasin_Asha]

1579919
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_TwilightWut.png
... I don't even...
This
Fandom
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png

[steampvnc1880]

1579919
That was my immediate reaction too. Either played straight or subverted would be fine with me. Maybe she's a http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds

[SpiralWriter]

1579919
Nah, nothing like that, but I do appreciate the fact that my characters are getting attention.

...Possibly.

[SpiralWriter]

1579919
Nah, nothing like that, but I do appreciate the fact that my characters are getting attention.1580316

Possibly

[oldtimeydude]

Well at least it's updating faster now. Lets just hope that you can keep this going. Or do you have a whole truckload of finished chapters just waiting to be unloaded until the next hiatus?

[Alpha Scorpii]

Just a question out of curiosity: will you follow the official map of Equestria for this story?

You've made a very interesting choice of creatures there. I'm eager to see what each one can do!

[SpiralWriter]

1582506

Actually, yes, trying to keep it as canon as possible. Seeing as how it appears you have to pass through Applewood(I'm guessing it's a ponified Hollywood) to get to Las Pegasus, Oddjob will make a quick stop there first.

And yes, the creatures are going to play a big role later on.

[SpiralWriter]

1581607

I'll try to keep a steady stream of minor updates, with the bigger chapters waiting to be unloaded.

[Paladin Redflare]

Moar Oomons in Equestria... they may not look Human but they have the spirit and the will of a Human and that's what matters... Equestria shall be ours! DESTROY!

[Alondro]

1583184 You forget one thing. I also have a spirit of a human. But much more than just a typical human's. I am vastly more advanced, a billion years more evolved than the scum-beings below me. The most powerful mind ever spawned in the universe am I. A will too immovable for even Discord to alter. He tried, and failed miserably. Now he flees from me, as do all who follow his chaotic creed. *glows with pure astral power and shines a terrible beam of searing light to every corner of darkness* I AM THE DEUX EX INSERT, AND ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME!!

PS: The REAL Equestria is completely sealed from you awful proto-humans. I have preserved it in its perfection. The ponies there praise my name and have a week-long festival every year in my honor. And Discord is trapped in G3.5 forever, as a baby version of himself who has very poor bladder and bowel control. Not to mention terrible colic.

(Now THAT is how you god-mode the crap out of things!)

[Alondro]

1582959 I believe I know what Discord's up to. The 'alterations' to the 'perfect' Equestria clued me in from the start. And now the appearance of the other 'flaws' has solidified it.

I hate this Discord. I hate this Discord so much I am seething with rage and literally dripping distilled hatriol which is filling the air with deadly fumes and has already laid waste to 3 surrounding counties.

I want to go into the story and rip him to pieces, then to atoms, then tear his atoms apart into quarks and gluons, then shred them into quantum strings, then shove all the strings into a sack and beat him like a bag of puppies in Cantonese restaurant for a billion years or so.

So yes, I am slightly miffed at him.