Mischmasch

by SpiralWriter

Getting the Bullet

I narrowed my eyes menacingly as I brought Alamo closer to my face, allowing a stream of smoke and a carnal growl from the back of my throat escape my mouth. He looked dreadfully afraid, an emotion I hadn't seen him use before, but also relieved at the same time for some reason. In all honesty, I was only doing the whole dragon rage bit as a show. I was still mad at him, but not enough to rip his head off, that'd just be insensitive.

"Explain yourself."

"Ah would, if'n I wasn't so uncomfortable being clutched in yer claws and such."He replied, his tone still calm, but a bit shaky by the end.

"Promise you're not going to run?"

"Cowpony's honor."He held a hoof over his heart.

I dropped him pretty roughly, but he landed on his hooves okay.

"Funny,"I crossed my arms, gazing down at him."I didn't know honor involved stealing money that we were going to share and running away with it to pay off some stupid debt."

He looked pretty stung by the comment, seeing as how he took a step back, but he remained close by for the most part. If he took off running again, I would've just thrown another trash can at him.

"Now Oddjob, ya don't understand."He shook his head."This debt's been hoverin' over my head for a while, and it's just been eatin' away at my conch-ee-ious."

"Hmm...healthy tip you might wanna consider here. Don't gamble,"I jabbed a thumb through the air at the building behind us."At a place that Equestria's biggest crime boss runs!!"

"So...you know about...the King?"The poncho'd pony asked tentatively.

I nodded.

"Then you know that being in debt to him is bad."He leaned in close, looking around the alley for any other ponies who might hear our conversation. Satisfied that we were alone, he continued speaking."Oddjob...he's a monster. And not like you," I gave him another menacing growl, to which he held up his hooves defensively.

"The King's got his hooves dipped in more pies than you could imagine, and he didn't wait for them ta cool off. His whole family runs 'cross the country, dealing out a good bit of the crime, and he rules it all from right here in Los Pegasus."

I crossed my arms."Then why doesn't Celestia do anything about him if he's so infamous?"

"That's the thing, his infamy, it protects 'im."

I furrowed my brown in confusion.

"Even though he runs everythin', almost none of the crime is directly linked to him, it's always an underling that gets pinned, and they're willing to take the fall for 'im too, cause jail would be much better than the King finding out he was ratted on. Besides, do ya know how bad it would look if Celestia sent a swarm of royal guards over this town, tearing it apart in search for the King?"

I nodded, knowing where he was going with this. Celestia, the perfect model of ponyship, the sun goddess of Equestria, labeled a tyrant and an unjust ruler if she were to take him out by brute martial force alone. Sad and unfair as it was, it was the undeniable truth.

"Then ya gotta forgive me Oddjob..."He moaned out pitifully, gazing up at me with hope in his big eyes, well, the one that looked normal anyway. The other one just had the milky pupil lazily floating there. Despite that, it hurt my heart man. Any pony was adorable, and when they gave you the giant fucking pleading anime eyes, you could feel something inside of you wrench.

I let out another low roar to fight back the feeling.

"If'n it makes ya feel better...I doubled the leftover bits with my winnings...we can split it even."

"...."

Those fucking eyes man.

"Ehh......FINE!"I shouted to which Alamo smugly grinned.

"Thanks Oddjob, ya won't regret it. We're compadres, ya and me."He began walking back towards the door that lead into the casino."C'mon, let's cash in my chips and walk away from all this as semi-rich ponies."He cackled, to which I could only smile and roll my eyes.

"By the way...nice new duds."

---

"So let me get this straight..."A voice spoke, sending dreary smoke through the air with his words.

Royal Flush gulped as he hung his head low, his entire face nearly unrecognizable from the nasty purple to bluish swelling stretching across it. His partner, Ace, wasn't faring any better. The two stood in a dimly lit room, the only other sound than the speaking voice a mouse squeaking away in the corner.

"A big...monster...possibly a dragon, knocked the two of youse out without even breakin' a sweat?"Another puff and a cough.

The both nodded shamefully."Yeah boss...but in our defense, this guy was big."Ace whispered.

"So's Brutus."The unknown pony motioned over to a large hulking form that stepped forth from the shadows, revealing a massive grey minotaur, his muscles absolutely rippling underneath the tuxedo he wore. Brutus let out a grunt, to which the two pegasi winced.

"He...he could breathe fire too, boss..."Royal Flush held up a hoof and touched what remained of his scorched mane.

"....Fire?"The voice sounded contemplative as it produced more smoke, holding out a cigar."He really did a number on youse two, didn't he?!"It now laughed, to which all other occupants joined in on his merriment as well, Brutus's a roaring chuckle, Royal Flush's and Ace's much more forced and nervous.

At once, the voice stopped laughing, and so did the others just as quickly."Youse two are lucky I don't have your wings clipped and Brutus toss you over the side of the city,"To which the minotaur grunted once more, cracking his knuckles. Both of the pegasi gulped audibly.

"Do y'know how it reflects on me that my two best boys get roughed up by a tweenage dragon nopony's seen around here before?"

The two nodded solemnly."We know, boss..."They said in unison.

"But, fortunately, the two of youse are going to get off easy."The source of the voice leaned forward in his seat through a cloud of smoke, a pegasus that was stark white, his black mane styled up in a greasy pompadour. Upon his flank he bore a crown over a deck of playing cards.

"I want youse to find this mug that beat ya, and bring him to me. Unharmed. Gots it?"

They both nodded vigorously.

"Good."The pegasus chuckled as he took another puff of his cigar, sending out ringlets of smoke into the air.

"So declares the King."

---

As the two of us re-entered, the ponies inside all stared at us confusedly. What can I say, chasing one another while screaming probably got them all talking about one thing or another. When we approached the table where he was previously playing, Zola greeted us, walking through the crowd that was still there, awaiting the lucky pony that had accumulated such a large quantity of chips.

"I see the two of you have reconciled. I take it though the conversation wasn't very mild?"

"You could say that."I shrugged.

"Who's yer friend, Oddjob?"Alamo asked as his horn lit up, hovering all of his winnings to float before him.

"Zola, works here."

"...For the King?"

She nodded, following behind us.

"Hey, tell yer boss Ah paid my dues to me."Alamo snapped at her."Hey man, calm down,"I gently waved between the two."She's uh...sorta gonna come with us when we leave Los Pegasus."

"Why's that?"The cowpony asked as he went up to the counter and placed all of the chips down in an even stack. The pegasus behind the protective glass nodded and reached out, taking the substantial sum of winnings and replacing it with an equally large bag of bits, taking us back to square one. Alamo lifted it up, all three of us walking to the exit through the main lobby now.

"I uh..."I waved my hands through the air, searching for a correct way to explain it to him. I always moved my hands when I got nervous, force of habit. I had to do something from keeping my nerves from fraying, and this was the only way to do so.

"He knocked out the King's top men."Zola answered for me. I smacked my bear paw directly to my forehead.

Alamo stopped short."Royal Flush and Ace?!"

I nodded slowly, almost sadly as I held my head low. I looked like a kicked, malformed puppy.

"We will have to before more thugs he sends."Zola motioned for us to continue walking. We were now in the lobby, almost out.

"Celestia's holy flank!"Alamo bellowed at me, him being the angry one now."Yer an idjit. That's all there is to it."As we passed a duo entering ponies, Alamo turned to them to speak."My friend here's a total idjit. Don't talk ta him." I hung my head even lower. The two ponies halted just as we did, all of us slowly turning to face one another. Royal Flush and Ace's battered features looking at the three of us angrily.

"We'll be going now."I said rapidly, simultaneously picking up both Alamo(who still held onto his jostling bag of coins) and Zola in my arms and ramming out the door, dashing down the cloud-paven street towards the balloon station. The sound of the two's clacking hooves weren't far behind. Eventually, I didn't hear their hooves at all. Did I outrun them? I briefly glanced around, the incentive to run faster kicking in. They flew overhead on their nimble wings, soaring faster than I could on legs.

Ace landed directly in front of me, causing me to come to a halt. I whirred around, only for Royal Flush to catch me in a pincer movement. I dropped the two smaller ones to the ground, both tense. Zola looked ready to fight, Alamo had his revolver slowly being levitated out of it's holster.

"Look,"I pointed a claw at both of them."I dropped the two of you once, don't make me do it again."I tried to sound as threatening as possible, both my fists clenched tightly. I think the odds were in our favor between my strength and Alamo's bullets...and whatever Zola had. Hopefully more goons weren't behind them to surround us.

"We..."Royal Flush held out a hoof as a sign of peace."Just wanna talk."

"Don't listen to 'im..."Alamo whispered to me.

"Our boss wants to talk with youse for some reason, we dunno."Ace said daftly.

"We have nothin' ta say to the King."Alamo exclaimed, as tense as he was when we were in the worm caves. All three of us slowly began backing out between the two, only for them to follow as at the same pace.

"We ain't letting you leave. The King's decreed it."Royal said grimly."If he don't wants ya off this chunk of cloud, you ain't getting off 'til he says so."

"Alright."I agreed, to which both of my comrades looked to me in shock. I shrugged to them with a nervous grin. I was always one for diplomacy, but with a crime boss, I didn't believe things would go so well. At least we could try.

"What could go wrong?"I said uncertainly.

"Please never say that..."Alamo shook his head, holstering his firearm.

Comments

[ResidentZeldaBau5z]

If you ever need a plot device, rest assured that I will help provide you with the perfect version of Link to end all your problems. Really, Inserting Link is like dumping water on the fires or your dillema. Depending on the situation, he can resolve it fairly quickly, especially if its a Link after he has collected all his gear and gained his maximum power. Its actually a very good plot device. Its fairly easy and simple to use... I have no idea why other authors dont use it much. Well, take it! It is dangerous to write a story alone! (snicker) Ah, references, you never fail to amuse me....

[SpiralWriter]

1601014

[UNSpacy000]

If Oddjob doesn't bring up Flush and Ace's poor manners when talking to a mare, I will be mildly miffed, and I'm sure Discord would be as well since The King probably doesn't have anyone who is willing to chew him out and the resulting situation would be rather chaotic.

Actually, I'm sure it'll be rife with fun Chaos anyway.

It's been a fun read so far.

[the monkey ninja]

Oddjob, you are a complete idiot. Not only did you attack the biggest crime lord on the planets top men, you said The Sentence of Evil. Anyone who says that sentence is put on the top of existences hit list. All in one hour. You truly are deserving of a massive .

[Valrek777]

1601402 Amen to that lol.

1601030 Btw, Quisky, that cover image looks familiar... where is it from?

[SpiralWriter]

1601460

Found it while browsing for images of Discord, seeing as how he's a major player in the story. Though, I saved the image, and I can't remember where I saw it...

[Valrek777]

1601468 Just remembered! its the cover image for the song Neverending Strife. Look it up on youtube- its good, especially the Aviator's remix.

And yes, of course, it is about Discord

[Heartless]

"What could go wrong?"I said uncertainly.

Why? Why would you say that?
Prepare for the incoming shitstorm, Oddjob

[Alondro]

>>>I nodded, knowing where he was going with this. Celestia, the perfect model of ponyship, the sun goddess of Equestria, labeled a tyrant and an unjust ruler if she were to take him out by brute martial force alone. Sad and unfair as it was, it was the undeniable truth.>>>

And that's why the CIA was invented. *King is taken out by unnamed sniper, made to look like a rival gang lord, who is them arrested for murder and mysteriously dies from a heart attack*

And that's how we do things...

[warpd]

Hmm, I wonder what's going to happen to the King.

[Out of Place]

As we passed a duo entering ponies, Alamo turned to them to speak."My friend here's a total idjit. Don't talk ta him." I hung my head even lower. The two ponies halted just as we did, all of us slowly turning to face one another. Royal Flush and Ace's battered features looking at the three of us angrily.

The most epic coincidence EVER!