Mischmasch

by SpiralWriter

Vice & Virtue, At Your Service

Slowly, the winding wheels of the train came to steady halt, a metallic screech echoing through the air. I opened the partially working door and stepped outside, immediately assaulted by a wall of lights and sound.

I was in a train station hub that almost reminded me of New York's own Grand Central, filled with the chattering of conversation and trains coming and going. A staircase from the track lead to a lobby stuffed with ponies of all shapes and sizes. Slowly I made my way down the stairs, some ponies looking up at me with wide eyes of fear, others with disgust What, had they ever seen a jabberwocky before? I guessed not, since my 'kind' was related to Discord. Some were probably still reeling from when the spirit of disharmony turned all of Equestria into his private playtoy way back at the beginning of season two. As I trodded through the crowd easily, considering they all cleared a path for me, I heard a young colt out of the corner of eye whisper to his mother.

"Mommy, why does he look so funny?"The small unicorn pointed a hoof at me. I smiled at him as gently as possible, only for his mother to give me the evil eye and wheel her son far away from me.

"Ssh, it's not polite to stare at...it."I heard her say as she disappeared into the safety of the crowd. Bejeezus lady, teach your kid to be hateful and racially insensitive for the rest of his life, that'll get him loads of friends later on. I sighed and continued on, every pony I passed yelping and scurrying away from my beastly form. Maybe I should try to hide myself? I did stick out like a horrible misshapen thumb amongst the smaller equestrians.

I stepped outside, drinking in the fresh air and sunlight after being stuck on that train for almost five hours. From what I could really gather from the sun's position, I had left around nine in the morning, and it was two in the afternoon now, the heat of the day just settling in. I looked around, and was flabbergasted.

Tall, towering skyscrapers reached into the air, and hundreds of ponies rushed by one another in the sidewalks, wagons and carts taking up the streets, going from their day to day business. Off in the distance, nestled atop some small hills, the words Applewood took up the horizon. Hmm...must've been the equivalent of Hollywood in the human world. Maybe I'd run into some pony celebrities around here? Not that I knew any, of course.

A small newsstand down the way caught my attention. I walked up to it, twice as tall as the cubicle's roof, forcing me to bend my head low to speak to the pony inside. She jumped out of her skin as my draconic face entered her field of vision, pressing herself up against the back wall, nervously straining to get as far away from me as possible.

"Excuse me...uh, ma'm?"I smiled as sweetly as possible, gave her the gentlest tone in my voice, and even batted my eyelashes a little. Had to work the charms.

"Quick question, how can I get to Los Pegasus from here, and follow-up question, is there any clothing store nearby that could accommodate a creature of my...stature?"

"Uhm..."Her eyes darted to any open space in which she could exit through. I extended out my arms casually, gripping the sides of the stand, my frame filling the space between the counter and the outside world. She shrank further away from me.

"Ma'm, just answer my questions, and I'll be on my way."I stated calmly.

She slowly pointed a hoof upwards.

I looked up, only seeing blue sky and a a large cluster of clouds lazily drifting overhead. A small ding went off in my head. Los Pegasus was, obviously, a pegasus city, so of course it'd be located in the sky. Now, getting up there would be another story all together, but I would worry about that later.

"And the clothes?"

She gingerly placed a map of the city in front of me, trembling the entire time.

"Much obliged."I grinned as I swiped up the map and unfurled it, taking in the local area. Lucky for me, the shopping district was right around the corner. I followed the map, bumping into a few ponies here and there on accident, who were sent scrambling away from me, until I came upon what appeared to be my desired destination.

Looking up from the map, my eyes befell upon a store called Stallions and Stronghorses, with a little slogan underneath it,'For those big ponies who can't find a plow to fit them.' I shrugged. Sounded like a place Big Macintosh would find himself at. I opened the door, entered, and to my surprise, I didn't bump my tall head against the ceiling. The place was designed for those larger than the average smaller pony.

A portly orange earth pony who was a head taller than most others, but still short compared to me, clopped over and greeted me with a hefty laugh."My, you're a big one!"He chuckled, extending a hoof. I slowly shook it before we both retracted after the hoof/clawshake. This was the best reception I've gotten yet! A small smile played upon my maw.

"They grow you teenage dragons real quick and real big in the Scorched Lands, don't they?"

I kept quiet, seeing as he was partly right that I was a dragon. He motioned for me to follow him into the store."Now, what are you looking for, son? Something big enough to hide you from the crowds, am I right?"He gave a sly, knowing wink at me, to which I grinned."Actually, yeah! That'd be pretty helpful."

"Then look no further! We have plenty in our stock to choose from for a big lad such as yourself, and a bit of...questionable fireproof merch in the back if you're interested."

"Yes please!"I nodded eagerly before I paused."How'd you know?"

"Oh, I get plenty of...unique customers stopping in here every once in a while, usually on their way to Los Pegasus up above."He replied.

The course of the next hour or so was spent searching for and trying on clothes. What can I say, I'm a diva like that. After much decision, I settled upon three main items. A black trilby sat atop my head, tilted back nicely, which the spines it covered easily bent underneath it, hiding those. A matching black high collar jacket that slimly fit around my serpentine frame, and several thick scarves that bundled around my long neck. Overall, I looked pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself.

"Nice..."I breathed as I tugged at the cuffs around my wrists, staring at my now clothed self in the mirror. It beat being naked by a long shot.

"You look good,"The fat orange pony, who I had come to be known as Big Bucks, complimented."Now, will that be bits, credit, trade, or a tab?"

My face slackened. I had utterly forgotten that I had zilch cash on me, thanks to Alamo. I nervously turned to him with a forced grin."Could I...uh...open a tab? I'm good for it, I swear."

He only gazed at me, amused."You don't have any bits, do you? And I doubt you can get some easily."

"C'mon Bucks...I'm just a poor jabberwocky,"He titled his head curiously at my species."Trying not to stand out of the crowd. The clothes can hide me from too many eyes."

He allowed a sly grin to spread across his robust face."Maybe we can work out a deal."

I really didn't like the sound of that.

---

"Now, do you understand what to do?"Big Bucks asked me as we walked side by side. I wasn't nearly getting as much attention as I did before. The clothing did well to hide my erratic features. Ponies we passed by who didn't worry to look close enough probably took me for a Griffin standing on their hindlegs or even a minotaur.

I nervously gulped."Yeah."

"Good."He guffawed warmly."All you do is hand off the satchel,"He tapped the bag strapped across my shoulder."To a zebra. Got it?"

"Zebra."I repeated.

"She'll be in an alleyway just across from the station. No looking in the satchel, no talking to her, just place it on the ground, and go. You get to keep your clothes, and you get a free pass into Los Pegasus!"He laughed again as he handed me several bits for the entrance fee into the cloud city, to which I jammed into my coat pocket.

"Good luck."He patted me on the back before turning around. I looked onwards to see a line that went on into a series of air balloons that would lead up to the pegasi realm above. I stepped into the line and tried to act casual, whistling a bit, but only found that that caused puffs of embers to blow from my mouth, so I simply shut it tight until I got up to the front of the line. A beige unicorn in a stewardess outfit warmly greeted me.

"Hello sir, and welcome to Los Pegasus Balloon Travel. Would you like to purchase a ticket and a spell into the city?"

"Um...yes please?"I took out the gold bits and held them out, to which she telekinetically took them and placed them in a nearby register. Next, a brief flash from her horn, and a small field of magical aura surrounded me, only to vanish seconds later.

"There you go sir. The spell will allow you walk on the clouds safely for three days. If you wish to renew the spell before the the three days are up,speak to any unicorn employee of Los Pegasus Balloon Travels. Enjoy your stay in Los Pegasus!"She gave me a big smile, but I guessed she had to do that to everyone who passed by. I simply nodded and stepped into the balloon, taking a seat in the corner. Several more joined me before we lifted off, most of the other occupants earth ponies. Could unicorns get in on their own, or did they have to have the employees cast the spell? What about pegasi? I'm sure they could just fly in whenever they pleased.

As we ascended higher and higher, I had to wonder, what had I just gotten myself into? To pay for my clothing, and I even mentioned getting into Los Pegasus, Big Bucks had offered a deal. He produced a satchel from behind his counter, jingling its unknown contents mysteriously, and simply asked for me to deliver it. If I said yes, he'd allow me to keep my clothing and get me into the sky for free, if I said no, I'd have to take off my attire and find some other way to get into the city. Of course, I said yes, but now I kinda regretted it. What was in this bag?

I could be carrying illegal goods for all I knew.

...I could be carrying drugs. Pony drugs. Did such a thing exist?!

Holy fuck, I could be carrying pony drugs and I wouldn't even know it. I just became Big Bucks donkeyboy for unauthorized substances! Holy thunder and skullfuckers, I could get screwed over so easily. What if there's security on the way in? What if I can't find the zebra? Wost of all, what if I can't find Alamo in the three days I have up here?! Man, I'm panicking so much.

Obviously my fretting was noticeable. The ponies closest to me siddled away in their seats. Or maybe they had finally noticed the heterochromatic eyes or tufts of feathers poking out of the jacket?

Eventually, the balloon passed through a cloud layer, my vision overtaken by fluffy whiteness and something wet, only for the floating vehicle to escape it seconds later, plopping down on a solid floor of cloud, the stewardess calling for us to exit. I was the last one out, cautiously stepping onto the cloud with my hoof. It felt solid enough, albeit cotton-y to the touch. I stepped off, and was quaintly surprised to find it held my weight like a solid floor. I looked around, finding myself in an almost exact copy of the train station below, except, y'know, the entire building material replacing stone with clouds and trains with hot air balloons.

I made my way out of the balloon station, looking out to see Los Pegasus in all of it's glory. Neon lights flooded the entire area, giving every cloud and every creature an odd fluorescent flow. Nearly every building was a 'hotel' or a 'casino' with some horse-pun spin on the name. Pegasi were the dominant ponies up here, rarely walking, but instead, soaring above or floating beside their trotting companions who had used the cloud-walking spell.

I breathed in, out. Okay. Look to your left. The alleyway should be right there.

I did so, and tucked away between buildings was a shadowy strip that hid itself from the happy lighting all around. I looked around and walked towards it, stepping into the dark of the alley. My eyes quickly adjusted. The alley went on for a good while, partially because I couldn't really see the end of it.

"Hello?"I called out."I'm...expecting to meet a zebra..."

"Greetings."

I whirled around, a small zebra appearing behind me where nothing had been seconds ago. She, of course, was thickly black and white striped, a slender frame outlined by a brightly colored showgirl dress, signaling she worked in one of the nearby casinos. A small headdress sporting flaunty feathers stood upon her brow, a mess of long dreadlocks falling down her face.

"Are you the one with unfortunate luck to be sent by Big Buck?"

Oh cute, she spoke in rhyme.

"Yes, he uh...wanted me to give you this."I pulled the satchel and dropped it down to her. She picked it up in her mouth and slung it over her back, walking past me.

"Thanks be to you, creature that is nicely dressed. Now, enjoy your stay in Los Pegasus."

That was...much simpler than I thought it would be. I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned around to leave the alley. Now, all I had to do now was find Alamo. Should be simple, right? Only dozens of casinos to find him in and thousands of ponies walking around. Shouldn't be a problem.

Voices from behind me caught my attention. Male ones, gruff and almost italian sounding. I twisted my neck around by one-eighty, seeing deeper into the alleyway that out of one of the doors on the side, two pegasus ponies clad in rather dapper vests, much larger than they should be, surrounded the zebra, cornering her against the wall.

Just keep walking, they're probably friends of hers.

"Zola, glad to see you got the goods."One chuckled stupidly.

"Yes, indeed I do, pegasus of blue."Zola's voice was incredibly deadpan. Obviously she didn't like these guys. My footsteps slowed, my head lowered, and my heads stuffed deep into my jacket pockets as I listened in on their conversation.

"Now sweetie, y'know my name is Royal Flush. We can keep things informal, we both work for the same boss."He replied, the one beside him snickering.

"A flush you are, not of wit, but mostly of shi-"

A sharp sound of a hoof hitting something rang through the alley. I turned around to see Zola tending to a bruise on her cheek now, though she still stood defiantly up to the oversized pegasi. Just turn around...move on...

"Zola, y'know words like that is going to get ya hit."Royal Flush nodded to his friend, beige colored and just as stupid-looking as him. They moved in closer to her, but she did not flinch, only gazed up at them with dead eyes.

"Ace, looks like we need to teach ol' sweet striped ass here who to pay respects to."Flush said to his colleague, to which he eagerly nodded. The blue one known as Royal Flush raised a hoof to strike her once more. He was interrupted by a roaring "Hey!"From me. All three turned to look at me.

"You really shouldn't hit a lady, friend."I said as I walked up closer, hands out of my pockets and claws at the ready. I even allowed a few embers to breathe out of my maw, sizzling in the air.

"And who are you, the Mare-Do-Well in disguise?"Royal Flush asked reluctantly, he and his friend Ace nearing to me."Leave yourself outta this, mate. This is between us and striped-ass over there."

I crossed my arms as I walked closer to them, towering head and torso over them easily."I doubt she likes to be called that."

They looked up at me, a twinge of fear in their eyes, but boastful stupidity won out in the end."We'll call her whatever we want, balebreath."

Some kind of pony insult, rolled right off of me.

I just barely reacted in time as the beige one known as Ace reared up, his muscled hoof just grazing my cheek. Shit, these guys could move fast despite their mass. Pegasi were much swifter in person than on the television. I cocked my right fist back, the bird one, to send it smashing into Ace's jawline, a small guck and a whoosh of air escaping his mouth as he was sent headfirst into the wall nearby. He dropped like a rock to the floor below. At least his landing would be comfy, considering it's made of pillow-like clouds.

Royal Flush, however, was much harder to deal with. He leapt into the air, his wings carrying him over me as he rained down kicks and stomps with all four hooves. I held up my arms over my head, most of his blows landing on my forearms, but some slipped past the guard and nailed me directly in the face. I spat out a stream of saliva and blood before breathing it, letting the heat burning deep within me build up. I quickly wondered if it was safe to breathe fire, but my eyes caught something as I looked up with my guard still raised. I could make out faint runes etched out into the fabric of the jacket sleeve, reminding me that these clothes were enchanted to withstand fire.

I dropped my arms and let out a rapid fire blast of fireballs, Royal Flush swooping back in fear as his mane caught on fire. He rolled across the floor, quickly putting it out, but not before most of it had been burnt black. He would look up to see my bum as my tail whiplashed him right across the face. Oddjob used tailwhip, it's super-effective!

He was sent skidding across the ground, only for a quick succession of a kick from my kangaroo leg to send him flying down the alley. The blue pegasi landed with a thud and a moan, both taking a little nap now.

I walked up to Zola, still standing in the same spot."Are you okay?"I asked tenderly as I knelt down to examine the bruise on her cheek, only to see that there were multiple bruises on her face, previous ones that were just fading away. The girl had been abused before. She only replied by slapping her own hoof across my cheek, leaving a sharp sting.

"Ow!" I took a step away from her."What was that for?!"

"Idiot!"She snarled at me."Do you know what you have just done?! Because of you, now I have to run!"

"Why?"I held a paw to the spot where she had struck me, wincing a little."You just knocked out The King's top men! Once he finds out, surely more thugs he will send!"

"The...King?"

"The ruler of Los Pegasus, dreaded and feared. The biggest crime boss in all of Equestria, lives right here!"She nearly screamed at me.

Well shit.

Comments

[D4ddy D15Cord]

375327
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png <(You mad ponye.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png ?)

[Malesur Darkhoof]

Well Oddjob, seems you gotta do a little cleanup in Los Pegasus...

[Alpha Scorpii]

Always wanted to use this

[SpiralWriter]

1592038

Quite appropriate

[Assasin_Asha]

Typical RPG-like story...
Go into a city
Piss off local mafia
???
Profit! (Hardly any, really... probably lots of fines for property destruction...)

[RainingDash]

...The King...? Not sure if New Vegas reference or not...

[Paladin Redflare]

The King is gonna get his flank WHOOPED SON!

[Pixelatedpony1963]

A rhymspeaking zebra. so original. Just makes ya' wanna .

[Fancies himself a lurker]

Lol just beat up some "made" ponies. Time to apply for employment with the king.