Wait is Knockout a Slaver or a Raider? They're two different things and the title and the description are different because of this. Understand Raiders raid settlements, caravans, or whatever for one reason or another. Whereas slavers enslave ponies for money, enjoyment, or again whatever. I'm not saying there can't be Slavers who raid and vice versa I'm just wondering which of the wasteland scum he legally falls under. Still love the concept though trying to train scum to be able to be a part of normal wasteland society. Have a pinkie because I don't think I've seen that concept before.

3734433

He's a slaver, but I guess he'd also be a raider. RIPTID3 would probably know better since that's his character.

3734602
Understand I was mostly asking because most people see Raiders as irredeemable monsters who yell random things. Whereas Slavers are just normal ponies who enslave others. So you wouldn't really need to train a slaver just keep them in check.

3734829

Heh, yeah.

3740566

It's not for everyone, I guess.

I like this guy better than two bits

3740597

Knockout is fucktons better than Two Bits, I won't lie.

3740618 well if two bits gets more badass I think this fic will be perfect

3741482

She's going to go through A LOT of growth in this fic.

3740597 I'm flattered you think that way.

I had to stub my toe so many times to reach Knockout's level of anger.

3742967

We were going for perspectives no one has done before, but I see what you mean. Thank you, though.

Saw the cover art on DA, and decided to check it out. So far, I actually enjoy the dairy style you've used. It's very unique, and it's also written fairly decently to boot. Sadly, I wasn't hooked enough to stay on it, or keep up with it. However, for what you have out already it kept me entertained. Which is a big plus on its own.

I like your characters, they are for the most part their own personas. They each have a different personality, and way of thinking. (For the two character entries you have out at the moment.) Their inner thoughts are neat to read, as their personalities carry you through this.

I personally wouldn't have stuck with this dairy entry style. It can be nice for maybe a one-shot, but to use it as an overall storytelling narrative is a little hard to do. It can be done, but I warn you, be cautious as you tread the shallow ice. Overall, it's nice and worthy of a like. I don't think I'll favorite it though.

- Noakwolf

3747955

Thank you for your input. I hope we can manage the diary part, myself. It's been a bit of a challenge for me already, I'll admit, but getting into the character and writing it like she would is extremely fun. Maybe we can someday convince you give it a fave, but even a like is much appreciated!

Well, I fucking think you fucking use the word fucking too fucking much. Seriously, it doesn't help flow of the story. It also waters the word down until it is meaningless. You should also try some implied vileness. The "graphic" descriptions for the rape and murder of the second slave mare failed to convey any emotion, or real terror.
I liked your drawings though. That's why came here.

3748060

Who the fucking fuck can fucking think that fucking one can fucking use the fucking word fuck too fucking much?!

Haha, I get your point, though. I shall bear it in mind.

I liked your drawings though. That's why came here.

It's all going according to plan.

3748060 When you get mad you tend to say the word fuck a lot.

I actually had to get myself mad enough to get in character.

It didn't go as planned...

Anyways, it's only for the first few chaps.

Awesome start to the story, really looking forward to the next chapter

3751155

So glad you like it!

3747955 I like the dairy style too

3751949

Wheee, I guess we did something right while making this!

pretty good so far

3753240

Glad you like it.

3833280 tank chu

3859475

Thank you for your input.

I like the tones of this story. Mind, there are some pretty clear issues too, but I really like the way the characters "talk."

4498519

Thanks!

CANCELLED. DO NOT ASK ME TO WRITE MORE.

Aww...

4942935

Hhhhgggggg, don't make me feel bad for this.

I've just been having problems writing, have limited time on my computer which I prefer to draw, and on top of that, I've been asked to animate for Stable-Tec. I might continue someday, but the chance is slimmer than a starving wastelander.

4943366

That's a group that's trying to put together a Fallout: Equestria game, isn't it? That's pretty cool.

Don't worry, I'm not here to give you shit.

4943446

Actually, retract that statement about Stable-Tec. The guy ended up revoking the invitation under the pretenses of I'm not a good enough animator yet, despite the fact he offered to let me join. So, yeah.

And thank Luna! So many people have whined about how I should keep going anyways. You are a good person, I like you.

4958646
Not really. I haven't updated my own stories in months... like, some not since December.

4958654

There are a couple I haven't updated for about a year.