• Published 21st Dec 2013
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Pretty in Pink - Sarcastic Brony



Anon was rather content with his life in Equestria. Now, he must comes to terms with his feelings about a certain pink pony.

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Rarity

I tap the end of my quill to the bottom of my chin as I think over one of my friends. Rarity is admittedly beautiful and definitely generous in her own right. She has always been there to supply me with clothing whenever I needed it and I couldn't thank her enough for that. So I guess it is only right to write about her next into my journal.

So I guess you want to know a little more about my friends? Well don't worry, I think I found someone you will probably like. Her name is Rarity. Without her I would probably be writing this entry naked. Let me assure you that it would still be all around embarrassing for me if that were the truth. Let’s see... Well, surprisingly, Rarity was the 3rd pony to approach me of her own free will after my arrival. Though I quickly learned why that was.


I am currently sitting down at Sugarcube corner and waiting patiently for Twilight to finish showing me around town. I had just arrived a few days ago and am still trying to get use to everything about this place. There’s so many things to take in. Magic, eternal goddesses, Pinkie. So many different things that make my head hurt just from the thought alone.

Twilight is talking to the Cakes right now, explaining to them that I am perfectly harmless. We both found out that having her approach the ponies before I do myself was always the best course of action. Most of the other times I tried to talk to another pony lead to them running away in fear. Not really a confidence boost in my book, but I know progress will be slow for me.

“Would you like to meet him?” I hear Twilight ask hopefully.

“O-Oh no dear, we’re rather busy right now.” Mrs.Cake says hesitantly.

“It won't take too much time.” She pleads.

“I-um guess if it doesn't take too much time.” Mrs.Cake relents.

Twilight turns to face me with a hesitant smile. “Anon, come over here and meet Mr and Mrs.Cake.”

I get up from my spot and slowly walk over. If I notice anything from my time meeting ponies is that they react to my size first. Being tall is not really helping me, but that’s not something I can change. As I come closer I can notice that Mr.Cake is sweating bullets as his legs chatter away. If I wasn't too sure, I would thi-... And he just passed out.

I let out a sigh as Mrs.Cake quickly goes to her husbands side and does her best to wake him.

“You know, Twilight. I think I want to head back to the library.” I say with an exhausted tone.

“No! I swear ponies will get use to you, Anon. You just have to get to know them better.”

I know she means well, but I can't stand being treated like I’m a monster. I just shake my head as I start to walk towards the door.

“I’m going for a walk, Twilight.” I state as I take my leave.

All I got in response is a long sad sigh from her as I gently close the door to the establishment. I shake my head some at this entire situation that I have been placed in. I haven't done anything wrong and yet these ponies treat me like I’m eating their kids as they sleep. I shake those thoughts from my mind as I walk off into a random direction.

I don't know how long I have been wandering around, but it feels like it’s been hours. Thinking while walking seems to have that effect on people. I look up and notice that the sky is filled with dark clouds. I let out a sad chuckle as the first few drops of rain fall upon my head. Honestly, I welcomed it. The rain is cold and yet soothing at the same time. I just raise my head and let it wash over me as I close my eyes.

“You must be that human Twilight told me about?” I hear a regal like voice call from below.

I look down to see an alabaster mare in weather gear. She was looking at me curiously as I did the same.

“Rarity, I presume.” I state having heard many stories about her from Twilight.

“You seem to have me at a disadvantage here, darling.” She says with a smile.

“I’m Anon.” I answer returning my own smile.

“Well, Anon, whatever are you doing out here in the rain?”

I shrug. “Just thinking.”

“Couldn't you have done the same at Twilight’s?” She raises a brow.

I chuckle sadly as I look around to the empty streets. “This is the only time that ponies aren't outside.”

I see her face fall some at that. “Y-Yes, I heard you’re having a tough time adjusting. I’m truly sorry that the ponies here have been giving you trouble.”

The honesty in her voice is rather refreshing all on its own. I just let out another sigh.

“No need for you to be sorry, Rarity.” I shiver a little as the cold settles in.

“Oh my, you shouldn't be out here any longer!” She says with concern. “Please come with me so I can warm you up.”

I shake my head some. “No it’s fine, Rarity. I can probably make it to Twilight’s.”

I feel her magic gently tug at my hand. “I won't take no for an answer.”

I let out another sigh. “Alright.” I say following her to wherever she is taking me.


I’m shivering in place as I stand in the living room of Rarity’s home. It’s filled with mannequins, or would that be ponnequins? Most of them sporting some form of dress fitted to them.

“Anon, you simply must get out of those wet clothes.”

I can feel my face heat up some at that suggestion.

“I-I rather not, Rarity.”

“But you’re soaked to the bone!” She protests.

“I would feel more comfortable if I weren't naked.” I answer her.

“Why would that be a problem exactly?” She looks confused.

I scratch the back of my head. “I-It’s a human thing.”

“Oh pish posh. Come now, disrobe for me.”

“No.”

Next thing I know I feel the cold air against my skin. I look down to my naked form and up to Rarity as she is holding my clothing in her magic. I quickly hid my boys with a red face as I turn away from her. I happen a glance back at Rarity as she looks at me with a slightly red face.

“Oh, my word, I didn't know... I-Is is suppose to hang out like that?” She asks.

I can feel my temperature rise even more. “Y-Yeah.”

“I-I will make you something to wear then.”

Thankfully before she left me she magiced a blanket for me to wrap around myself. I fall onto one of her couches still in shock from what had happened. I rub my face some to try and clear those memories away. Rarity soon returns with something in her magic.

“They might be a little loose, seeing as I haven't gotten your measurements yet.” I see her face glow red. “I-I assumed that getting them now would simply be more awkward.”

I take the clothes from her magic and examine them a bit. They look and even feel just like my old pair, but in a different color. A deep purple from what I can tell. I slip them on while still wearing the blanket so Rarity can't see anything. Once they’re on, do I stand up and drop the blanket. They fit perfectly from what I could tell.

“Wow.” Is all I can say as I feel a lot warmer thanks to them.

“Not too loose?” She asks.

I shake my head. “They fit well, Rarity.” I pause a bit. “Thanks.”

“No need to mention it,
darling. After Twilight told me about you I knew that I had to make something for you.”

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. This mare didn't even know my name and yet had already thought of making things for me? The ponies here haven't been very friendly, except a choice few, so this moment honestly puts me into a better mood.

“You have no idea how much you made my day, Rarity.” I say honestly as I sit back onto the couch.

We both kinda fall into an awkward silence as she looks hesitantly at me, then lower, then back to my face.

“M-May I ask a question?”

I let out a sigh. “Yeah.”

“Is it always that small?”

I feel a flash of anger but quickly tone it down.

“N-No!” I feel myself yell. “I-It’s just really cold out...” I stutter.

“I didn't mean to insult you!” Rarity quickly says.

I can still feel some heat in me. “Oh believe me, baby. My friend down there gets a whole lot bigger.”

I see her face go into a full blush from my retort. I can't help but let out a groan as I cover my face with my hands.

“H-How big?” I hear her ask.

“Rarity!” I groan even louder.

“Oh, I’m sorry! T-That is simple uncouth of me to ask!” She turns away. “Let us never speak of this again!”

I nod. “Agreed.” It then falls back into silence. “So you had more clothes planned for me?” I try to break the silence.

She turns around beaming at me. “Why yes! Oh I have so many ideas I would like to try!” Seems she forgets pretty quickly.

“I want you to know, I can't pay for any of this yet, Rarity.” I don't want to take advantage of her goodwill.

She looks confused again. “Darling, when did I ever say you would need to pay?”

“Well you can't just give me free stuff. Isn't your livelihood based off clothing?”

She nods. “That it is, Anon, but I can see when somepony really needs some help.”

Again, her generosity really astounds me. “Thank you, Rarity.” I feel something come to mind. “Maybe I can tell you some stuff on fashion from my world?” I offer.

I see a literal twinkle in her eye. “Really?! Y-You would be so kind as to share such information?”

I nod. “Well, yeah. I’m no fashion expert, but I think I know enough to maybe help inspire you.”

She seems to smile even more. “You have a deal, darling!”

I didn't even notice she had come over and taken me into an embrace. I honestly froze up. This is the first time any of these ponies have ever gotten so close to me, let alone hug me. As my shock settles, do I slowly wrap my arms around her. Relishing in how good it feels to hold and be held by another creature.

“Thank you, Rarity.” I whisper.

“Think nothing of it.” She whispers back.


I wipe a small tear in my eye at that memory. Rarity truly is a great mare. I chuckle a bit to myself. I hear a knock on the door to my home.

“~Anon!~” I hear Rarity calling in a singsong voice. “I came by to hear how well the date went.”

“Just one moment, Rarity!” I call back as I turn to my journal once more.

She is beautiful, smart and generous. No wonder Spike fell head over heels for her.

Author's Note:

[General edits made to this chapter on 2/11/15]
Well I gotta say this chapter came out rather well. Also, hope you guys like the new story image I got. Sexy Pinkie is best Pinkie in my book. Oddly enough the more I write this fic the more I can see why people like Pinkie. Well, Headcanon Pinkie at least. Show Pinkie still gets on my nerves, too immature for my tastes.