I’m Derry Wilhall. I think myself as a simple guy who isn’t too exquisite. I get what I need and it stays like that. I had a job as a writer once, but my books didn’t sell too well, so I had to stop. Guess people just aren’t into anything interesting anymore. I was never very successful and had a short temper, leading to some...incidents. I’d rather not say what they were. These problems I’ve long since gotten over, and I learned that, no matter where you are, society will only teach you loneliness and uselessness along with violence and insults. I guess they just go hand-in-hand.
Did I really care about society? No. Not at all. I managed to survive without anyone’s help!...Almost. I never had a good connection with my parents, what with my father also barely knowing that I existed. Hm. The only companion I ever had in my life was this stuffed animal: A silvery pony plush about fifteen centimeters big all around.
‘What? A pony? Are you a little girl’ is what I’m sure you are thinking, but no. It was a present for my fifth birthday that my grandfather had sent me. He didn’t know how I was or what I liked, so he decided to send me a plush toy big enough for me to hug. I even find it to have a great style to it. Silver, as I called her -Although not the most creative of names- had been my first and only toy. Because of this, I learned to maintain my plush doll with proper cleaning and sowing. Her body is a radiant silver that is still shining to my twenty-first year, and her mane and tail are still a clean white, although there are some specks of dirt in them that I could never get out. I still combed her hair to have a badass look...well, badass by my terms.
I curled it slightly at the top to bend over her right ear while leaving the left one fully exposed. The curve over her ear spiked at the ends, splitting into three ends. I even got her a mark sown onto her flank; A silver ingot surrounded by two blue petals of crystals that left openings above and below. It was the family crest, and yet I was still so happy with it at the time. Although, people still found me to be weird.
As for my grandfather, he was the owner of an oil company and fabrics industry. He had his time cut-out for him, always preoccupied with work, but I’ll never forget the days I got to play with him when I was little. However, as the years went by, we grew more and more apart, and I felt that it was like a storm cloud separating the two boats we were on. I was caught in the middle of it, and he was caught in the outside, desperately trying to reach me. Eventually, that storm grabbed his boat and threw it against the rocks. He had died at 5:07am on January 1st, 2012. It was a great New Year’s start. I was devastated, but he had one more gift for me.
I was taken to the town hall with my ‘parents’, and I use the term loosely, so that our lawyer could read my grandfather’s will to us. So there we were: My mother with her brown hair surfing over her butt-ugly black-widow dress the color of a sickly person’s snot. She really had a terrible fashion sense and it still continues. Pretty sure that, if I vomited on her, it would improve her taste in colors a lot. Her eyes were green, something I didn’t inherit from her ‘pool’. Instead, I inherited my grandfather’s eyes that were a nigh-black hue.
My father was sitting to my left on an oak chair covered in red cushions, his legs crossed. We all had one, but he had the innate ability to kill the atmosphere with his stupid, smug face and suit. He ‘coiffed’ his hair back with gel to make it look flat. I think it was just to intimidate people. He wasn’t exactly ‘weak’, to be honest. What a waste to see him wearing so much black that went even to his leather shoes. All that monopoly money could’ve gone to better use.
Sitting before us on his giant, rotatable chair sat the lawyer with reading glasses so big they made him look like an owl. He was pretty old and sporting a shaved head and wore a gray suit with a tie. He held up the will of my grandfather and starting reading it aloud.
“To my dearest son, who is quite the successful businessman like I am...or was, since I am now dead.” The lawyer stopped part way and pinched his nose bridge. “I...Moving on,” he said before clearing his throat. “I leave my oil and fabric industries to my son, Gerald Wilhall.”
I crossed my arms angrily whilst the bastard nodded, his smug grin turning into a full on smile. I was expecting him to put a pinkie finger to his mouth and yell ‘One million dollars!’...I should really read more books instead of watching so many movies.
“To my daughter-in-law: You have very bad taste in clothing.”
I muffled a laugh while the lawyer frowned and turned to see my mother keeping her composure but her face turning red.
“So I am giving you a collection of my wares,” the lawyer continued. “They’re from all around the world, so maybe this will help your colorblindness.”
Despite the added insult, that...bitch still had the gall to say that she was grateful for what she was given and how much she loved my grandfather, disregard that she didn’t even know he existed. The lawyer and I exchanged glances, showing that we both knew about her comedic play.
“And finally, to my favorite, and thankfully only grandson; Derry Wilhall...I am sorry that I could not reach through to you during all these years. Unfortunately, it seems that I will never have the opportunity to see you smile like you used to for time has taken me away. I know how rude and dismissive your parents are and how you were treated in school, which led to your aggressive outburts.”
I crossed my arms and looked down. “They aren’t THAT bad…” I mumbled under my breath. “Because of the idiots serving as your parents, I leave to you my personal cash reserves not shared by my companies.” The lawyer’s eyes widened. “Sixteen billion worth more-or-less, and my mansion...I know everyone says that money can’t buy happiness, but at least you can rent it.”
My parents’ jaws dropped and they stared at me silently. I could feel immediately that they were going to try and kiss up, so I stopped them in their tracks in a case of ‘Preemptive striking’.
“You had your chances. Twenty-one years worth of it. And you blew it. Too late now.”
Those two…jerks were never the best at counter-arguments. Great parents, really. I told the lawyer that the mansion needed to be turned into a hospital. All 64 acres of it. A great amount of space to help the patients move about and feel relaxed; and I’d give them two billion to start off. However, until my cabin in the woods was finished, I would be living in it. We shook hands and the lawyer gave me a polite goodbye. My parents just watched me leave the off, but before I left the office, I turned to face them, showed them my middle-finger, then slowly closed the door, letting it creaked loudly.
It barely took five months for the cabin to be made,so I sent a letter to the lawyer and stayed to greet the builders as they came to make the mansion into a hospital. Just because I don’t like to be in public doesn’t mean people have to suffer for my preferences. That’s weakling talk. My new home high in the mountains but still next to a village so I could reach the store and call for help if ever needed. I even managed to get electricity from my own wind turbines and solar panels outside of the forest my home was located in. I even installed some electrical fences too, so any would-be thieves and intruders would encounter a shocking experience. Torturing unexpecting people is the best security system. Ha. I also liked that my cabin was made to make it look like an old fashioned jumbling if Lincoln Logs. It had all the amenities I needed: Bathroom, living room, kitchen, and bedroom. Small and comfortable. Just how I like it.
To pass time, I would go to the village at the foot of the mountain and get some mountaineering stuff to travel around, collecting any rocks that I found interesting as well as observe the flora and fauna. Bears are really frikkin’ scary when they aren’t on a store shelf saying ‘I love you’ when you squeeze them. Just some traveling her and there. Nothing special or overly complicated.
Unfortunately, nature, or maybe even God or older gods, decided that my views on life were bad. I had a rough childhood, only a single friend -Who wasn’t even real, might I add-, and I didn’t believe in ‘love’. How else was I supposed to react to a world that only showed me that side of it? Maybe I was the Luke Skywalker who was tempted by the dark side and succumbed. Oh well!
My alarm clock rang loudly, making me groan in pain, fatigue, and annoyance. It was only five in the morning. Why was I getting up so early when I didn’t need to do anything? Simple: I found a nature pamphlet on the local area that spoke of a blue jewel hidden within range of my cabin, but it would only appear at irregular intervals. I knew just where to go and I loved crystals. What luck! Even if I didn’t find it, I would have still done a nice little trek through the mountainous woods. The pamphlet mentioned that the most common time for the jewel to shine was between seven and nine am. There was the other time, but...meh...I could barely move forward, inching only forward by using my toes.
“This is getting me nowhere,” I complained. “Come on, Derry. Use your inner strength!”
I struggled a lot, but I was already prepared. I had my clothes on, my backpack ready, and I had taken a bath last night.
“Let’s see...I got everything. Have I eaten breakfast?” I burped in response. “Check. Dying from my own oral fumes? Check.” I pondered. “Hmm. It’s also pretty cold this time of the year, so I need a jacket.”
I fumbled through my closet to find my thick red jacket. The kind that makes you look like you’re big and buff when you’re more of a scrawny toothpick, like I am. It seemed to clash with blue jeans and orange shoes, but I’m not here to please people’s eyes. I’m here to do a mountain climb. After readjusting my backpack again to sit tightly on my back, I noticed that Silver was resting on the counter separating my living room from my kitchen. I stared at her for a while, debating what to do.
“Eh. Why not,” I thought aloud.
I shrugged off my concerns for what other people doing the climb might think, what with a twenty-six year old man carrying a giant stuffed pony in his front pocket, which was quite big for a pocket. I locked my door, turned on the security system, and then went on my way.
The forest wasn’t exactly thick, what with most of the trees looking mostly like matchsticks, and the ground was mostly mud with very little in terms of grass. It was a strange forest, although I could often find large swathes of grass, mushrooms, winter flowers, and the occasional pinecone that would make you slip when stepped on. About an hour or so later, and I finally found the spot on the picture of the pamphlet. There was no jewel in the wall, but I shrugged and plopped down onto the floor regardless to regain my strength.
“Well, Silver,” I said to my plush. “It seems that we might have been tricked.” I wiped my nose and took a deep breath of freezing air. “I bet there are already people trying to get into my home.” A loud thundercrack confirmed my suspicions. “I thought so.”
People had learned about my wealth and heard that I had kept it in my home. This wasn’t true, and I had it looked over by my grandfather’s accountant, Mr. Tierry. That didn’t stop people from trying to get into my home regardless. So, I just sat there, wobbling my boots whilst listening to the cracks, enjoying the ‘music’. Music is subjective after all, no?
“So many today,” I noted.
Before I could leave and smoke some sausages over their smouldering bodies, I found the mist meandering at about ankle-height spread far away from the mountain side in an instant. I turned around and saw a blue crystal slowly grow out of the wall, causing small black bits of rock to tumble to the floor.
I approached it and gazed at the crystal growing from the wall. It’s beautiful! Of course, it was nothing my mother would like considering her tastes. The mist that dissipated came back in the form of a rainbow colored fog after I touched the crystal, causing some concern.
“Uhh…” I looked around and started to stress. “Maybe I shouldn’t have touched that.” I tapped my fingers together. “Time to leave!” I tried to move but noticed my legs were paralyzed. “Why can’t I move?! HELP!”
My body became stiffer the higher the mist went until I couldn’t even move my head. I could still feel it raise me into the air. I wanted to run around screaming, but was more disturbed by the fact I was in a zero-g environment. I looked around as best as I could, realizing that the forest was fading away to a pure white, and even though all that was left afterwards was indeed just that, only the crystal remained, and I gradually felt sensations coming back into my body.
I must be dead, I thought, so I forced my body to grab ahold of Silver who was floating away from me and held on tight to her. If I was dead, then I would at least keep the one gift and memento I had from my grandfather. At least she would stay etched into my mind and soul. The light grew brighter and brighter, blinding me, and although I couldn’t feel my body, I could still feel SIlver somehow, and that was all that mattered. If I’m leaving this world, then so be it. I accept everything that has happened to me and would have, so as a final farewell: ”Screw you, Earth!”
rmadere.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/i-dont-want-to-live-on-this-planet.png
I'm sure the ending was perfect for this to be use I really like this for some reason. Track!
DDAAAAAYYUUUUMMM!
Now, I shall wait for the next chapter.
People are actually giving directly positive reviews? I must be 4.bp.blogspot.com/-hMtrisbkXkM/TdoQcf6AleI/AAAAAAAAADo/YKJUpwTKK40/s1600/Brilliant_00.jpg
First.
This is awesome. please continue it.
MOOOOAAAAR!
this is pretty damn good if I do say so myself
imma tell mah friend sergeant invictus to read this
and before I forget
RANDOM PICTURE TIME!!
THAT DOESN WORK GOD DAMNIT
316274 Oh no. Now I'm worried about decieving everyone. i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/089/665/tumblr_l96b01l36p1qdhmifo1_500.jpg Y U NO STOP PUTTING PRESSURE ON ME?!
316286 because he like evrything he sees you dummy
he gon like this story brother......I hope
316292 I was joking. *sniff* Noone has my sense of humor
316294
*uberhaxornova mode ON
FUCK YOUUUUUUUU!!
*uberhaxornova mode OFF
there for being an ass about getting the help of my friend
I refrain from passing judgement yet. A few chapters in, perhaps then. Tracking for now.
Interesting, I am tracking.
316297 *troll mode on*............
316313
dont even bother, ok?
I like your story thus I tracked it
then liked it because its so fugging funny
316350 I'm just messing with you! Why would I need to mock you or your friend? I find those sort of things useless...although I have been told that my humor tends to be taken seriously.... I need to work on that.
316384>>316350 here i am Chavis
and i have yet to read, but im getting there
316414 I'm currently "writing" (more liek typing) the second chapter as we breathe.
Edit: I think I accidentally a comment.
316133 images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110430020052/sonicfanon/images/a/a6/Csi_miami_yeah.jpg
I'm unsure about this story , so buck up and make the next chapter so good I'm forced to favorite this!
Also, mare means female horse. Does this mean that Derry will become a female? That would be VERY interesting.
316432 Noone knows until they experiment. Let's see what I can do. *cracks fingers* ....shoot.
aat first i was like
then i was like
then i was like
and finially i was like
good so far
i kinda got confused about the whole cracking part
you think someone would hear that
316459 Glad to know that I can cause several different emotions all at once. Now if only I could render some people insane. *looks back at you and squints eyes*.....you heard nothing
316481 oh
i heard everything friend
everything
watch yourself, for i am a veteran space marine!
ik
im awesome
316492 Space marine? Why not join Khorne , he has lovely Khorne flakes for breakfast and the best positive thinking in the galaxy.
316505 lol
i prefer being a space marine friend
i mean
Khorne has one of the best catch phrases
"Skulls for the skull throne, blood for the blood god"
no one can compete with that
I was not into HiE at first but I give one of these a thumb up.
coward can't face reality so he runs away from it instead of standing up and fighting and finding something or someone(s) to fight for. but I guess I can respect his choice if he can't handle the world than get out of it. if I was left with that kind of money I would only keep a portion. I would give it all away. as my father once said "a man spends his whole life makeing money so he can give it away when he's dead."
If I had no idea where I was being flown off too, and I was that rich, I would say "Fuck this gay Earth" because I wouldn't be able to use the money.
Heheh this was made on April First Always have to point that out.
I can't wait to read this because I've seen later ones that look interesting. I always love gender benders...
316481 Of course I heard nothing. But that doesn't mean I didn't read it!
P.S. I saw the 4th part of this story in the new stories section, so I figured that I would get a bit of background before working on that. And by "a bit", I mean the first 3 in the series. And Silver looks rather cool.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5267-wow.png
Since you found me, I'm going to read through most of your story including this series!
Woo!
Dang... It's like this guy is made out of badass catchphases...
I now remember one of the reasons why I liked this story so much: Derry's hilarious remarks and actions.
Finnally starting to read your fics and... DAMN!
Fuck earth, we have ponys.
2298334 truly and ezcatly
with my last breath... I CURSE ZOIDBERG!!!
YESSS!!!
Very nice start, let us see where this goes, shall we?
2298334
Yea, who needs dumb old Planet Earth when you get a chance to become a pony! No, I'm not joking, I'm deathly serious.
I have a generally negative view of this story so far (but nowhere near negative enough to downvote). So far the main character's personality is made up of informed attributes, which obviously isn't a good thing.
Treading a little strongly into changeling fantasy here. But considering the focus of the plot isn't delicious justice and "my life is now awesome", I'm gonna take it a grain of salt. This has good ratings, four sequels, and most importantly...
It totally gives in to my guilty pleasure.
PLEASE LET FANFIC BE GOOD!-I mean, I'm just gonna remain optimistic.
Yeah.
So far this is nothing butsnarky catch phrases and "lol am so cool" moments. I..don't think I will be continuing this story, sorry.
He has 1 awesome grand-dad I tip my hat to you sir
[ youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6YMPAH67f4o]
That lat sentence... Yep that'll be my last words
MAN, I just skipped to bottom of page without reading it to tell you that this is my type o' story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I read desc)
AYE! that end reminded me of this is the end XD
3847418 The future is calling, it's asking how this fic is. It's gota lot of cliches and admittedly cringey wish fulfillment moments, but it also has sequels and good ratings. So, like a dumbass, I'm going to trust people.