On a planet far away in both space and time, a mare awakens to find herself alone, out in the rain, in the middle of the night. She has no recollection of who she is, or where she has come from. This story follows her as she goes to the ends of the Earth (and far beyond) in search of her lost memory, as well as a place where she belongs.
During her journeys, however, this pony who initially knows nothing of the universe may come to realize that it holds more secrets than anyone could have possibly imagined.
Note: This story isn't entirely OC ponies, but marking them now would be a hardcore spoiler, so I will refrain. Look forward to it, though.
Chapters (6)
Well, I hope you do continue posting more chapters, because I'm intrigued and should like to know what the heck is going on here!
The idea of starting with an amnesiac character is an often used trick, of course. It helps the reader share the sense of disorientation the character feels. It that regard, you used it very effectively; plunging straight into the action with mysterious foes and possible allies. It made me want to find out more. (It is a bit of an easy way into a story, though, and a theme fraught with cliches that you might want to avoid.)
Your formatting, spelling and grammar are all impeccable, as far this Dutch girl can can tell. Style-wise, the only complaint I had was that some sentences seemed to contain superfluous words; stuff you could take out without the actual content being affected at all. It wasn't very distracting, but there's no need to pad them, really. It would improve the flow if you'd be a bit more concise, I think.
Note to self: never write comments on iPad, it makes you make mistakes and post the wrong emoticons by mistake. Durn touch-screen!
Thank you so much for your comments! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far, and I'll definitely take your advice. I've actually had an English professor mention to me before that I go a little over the top with word choice sometimes.
Wow.
You are a fantastic writer, let me say.
Though, i do feel confused at the plot.. Cause there doesn't seem to be any background. I realize that he lost his memory, but it's kind of taking off like lost, confused and weird.
Anyways, i love you're writing. Keep it up!
Nice! Glad I stumbled upon this story and I hope you keep the updates coming!