Sombra Dislikes Crystals

by The Apologetic Pony

Diamond's Aren't Magic

‘Why is it legal for parents to spank their kids, Luna?’ asked Sombra.

That wasn’t on the list.

‘I’m surprised somepony as young as you is aware of such obscure legislation!’

Sombra said nothing; Alston looked like he was on the brink of intervening.

‘We feel it is a law for the future, though we both hope that it won’t be used under merely arbitrary circumstances.’

‘Is the future one where I can abuse my son?’

‘Sombra that’s enough, this isn’t a political debate.’ Alston said, borrowing a microphone off another representative. Sombra huffed, but did nothing more.

After the questions Sombra and the other representatives stepped down from their stands, joining the crowd of students, now making their way towards their classes. Tinker nudged him.

‘What?’

‘You may want to go outside.’

‘What? Yeah if I wanna be late.’

‘Just go outside, by that flower patch y’know?’

‘Am I gonna get soaked or something?’

‘No no no, it’ll be fun, honest.

Sombra didn’t move.

‘Come on man, it won’t take long, and it’ll be... fun.’

‘Fun.’ Sombra said.

‘See you later, okay?’

Sombra trotted his way to the empty schoolyard, feeling more irritated than curious. The flower patch was on the opposite side of the space, inconveniently enough. But it wasn’t long until something else caught his attention.

‘Som-bra?’ she said his name funny.

The voice came from his left. Sombra was rather surprised when he turned to face it.

‘You?’

‘Were you not expecting me?’

‘Not in the slightest... er your–’

‘Don’t give somepony you loathe as much as me that title. You do loathe me, don’t you?’

Sombra was clueless as to how he ought to be conducting himself in the private presence of royalty.

‘I am only a mare Sombra, speak to me as you would any other pony, or as you did earlier if you prefer. We are alone.’

‘Um, with respect, what the fuck are we doing here?’

Luna bore a sly grin.

‘I’ve been informed that your aura is most unusual.’

‘Have you now? Haha, well...’

‘Could you show me? There’s a stone over there.’

As asked, Sombra levitated it, the same way he’d levitated the glasses, and just about everything else. He didn’t know any other way.

‘Obviously, he was correct.’

Sombra dropped the stone.

‘And who’s he?’

‘Somepony I once worked with.’

‘Does he have a son?’

‘Yes, an only child.’

‘Is his son’s name Tinker?’

‘I did presume you’d already met him by such circumstances. He’s not know for being the most sociable of ponies otherwise.’

‘I still don’t know why we’re here. So what if I have a weird aura? I won’t be competing in the Unicorn Olympics, if such a thing existed.’

‘That might not be a bad idea...’

‘As long as alicorns were banned from entering.’

Luna rolled her eyes.

‘I believe you’re finishing school soon.’

Sombra waited for elaboration.

‘I propose to act as a tutor for you once you’ve completed your education. I believe there’s hidden potential in you, and your aura. With my help we’d discover it fairly easily.’

‘Aren’t there thousands of unicorns who are in the same position, Luna?’

‘My dear, there is a difference between powerful and unknown magic. The unknown is more valuable to both you and myself. You don’t have to decide immediately, of course.’

‘I won’t.’

‘Good.’

Sombra pawed at the ground, somewhat reluctant to bring an end to the conversation. He felt as if he’d forgotten something.

‘What about my classes?’

‘I’m sure that can be sorted out. Have the day off, if you like?’ Luna said.

‘Seems a bit... lavish.’

‘Take it as a bribe.’

‘Why would you–’

‘I think we’re done, Sombra.’

He was so stunned at interruption that Sombra didn’t say anything as she strode off.

Alex didn’t believe his son at first. He couldn’t fathom why Luna of all ponies would be interested in some oddly coloured magic. ‘She must have better things to do with her time.’ he told Sombra. Eventually they agreed the situation was most perplexing.

The young unicorn was unsure if he wanted to accept the invitation. The talk with his father hadn’t touched it and though he hadn’t thought about it in great depth, he did muse with some possibilities in his head. What would it be like? Would he learn the most powerful spell known to the Equine? He probably wouldn’t, though it would be fun... probably. Would he become known as a pioneer of revolutionary, life-saving feats of the horn? If your ego’s big enough, Sombra. Perhaps they’d discover nothing at all. Maybe in a series of unfortunate events, he’d end up on a throne, become a tyrant and to be banished under the ice. If he thought of that last one, he’d be an oracle too. He wasn’t an oracle.

‘So how was it?’ Tinker asked the next day. He’d invited Sombra over to his house again.

‘Not particularly fun and quite strange.’

‘So what happened?’

‘What do you mean, “what happened?” you sent me to meet her!’

‘Only ‘cus my father was getting me beer for it.’

Tinker proudly went to get some of his pleasure out of the fridge, and Sombra’s life had gotten even more novel.

‘Only ‘cus your father was getting you beer for it.’ Sombra repeated, nodding slowly.

Tinker stared at him like it was a perfectly normal motivation.

‘So I had no clue what you were going to.’ said Tinker.

‘He didn’t tell you?’

‘Nope. Could have been a pedophilic trafficking gang.’

‘Thanks for that! I’ll make sure to give you a dagger next time.’

‘Hey, if it actually was, I’d be sad too, ‘cus then I might not get another chance for some free lager.’

Sombra bit his lip to stop himself chortling at the quip, even though Tinker had been laughing before.

‘So what happened?’

Sombra explained it to him, and his loyal friend was just as surprised as Sombra had been.

‘Was she hot?’

‘What kind of question is that? I tell you I’ve just talked with Luna, and you ask if she’s hot?’

‘I’m not too fond of mares but I can appreciate why ponies say she’s beautiful.’

‘Don’t you care about how she might be my tutor?’

‘And how you might end up fucking her?’

‘What the fuck is wrong with you, slut?’

‘Slut? The princess's pet is calling me a slut! What’s the cunt gonna do? He’s gonna fry me with his black magic and cut off my balls for his ritual.’

A door slammed shut; Tinker’s room was quiet. This was one of those times when Tinker wished beer was made of stronger stuff. At least his father wouldn’t find out about their row, he wasn’t coming home until late tonight. Maybe he’d gone drinking too.

Oh dear, Tinker, what have you done now? You’ve just called your best friend a cunt, with hostile intentions. He took it just the way you meant him to, fucking stormed out the house and all. Well done. Are you jealous? Is that why you pretended a perverse curiosity? Congratulations on your false revelation. ‘Not too fond of mares?’ You fucking wish. Or are you unsure if you want to fuck ‘em? Is that it? Then you are worthy of applause for letting it manifest in such a mature fashion. Don’t like me? You can always blame the beer.

‘Hah, yeah blame the beer.’ Tinker said, taking another gulp of it. The irony eluded him like a pesky salmon. Sombra wasn’t the only one with an imagination.