"Young at Heart" by milesprower06 -- Hey, that name sounds famili-... OMAI.

4399869 lucky bastud

4399869 "First" comments not allowed. Real feedback or scram.

The start was not so bad. Lets see what will come in the next few chapters and I maybe put it in my favorite's.

Well, this was certainly interesting, to say the least.

The only criticism I have is that some of the wording feels just off, somehow. Not exactly sure how, but some parts feel as if they are missing a word or something.

So, this is weird, but interesting. Curious as to how this will unfold. Good first chapter.

So far my feelings are like "not exactly my fetish, but close enough to my watersports fetish". Let's see how it continues...

4399898 I fucking hate it when people say things like first or inb4 skeeter like it actually means something. I too delete such comments.

This was nice, although I wish there was more than just 1.6k words.

4400340 More to come.

4400376 Heh, I should hope so.

Kinda cute, solid writing also

Not bad. Relatively well executed; there were a few too many sentences starting with names or pronouns but it was grammatically perfect, as far as I could make out. The pacing was perhaps a little too fast but other than that, the only real problem is the lack of variety in sentence starters, which makes this dull to read. If you want examples for this sort of thing, just grab the nearest fiction book off a shelf and browse a random page.

The other problem is in your description. If you "could care less" if someone dislikes the fetish, then you currently do care.

Poor Rainbowash....you have to admit its harder to admit the not so common fetishes you have to a lover. Anyways I thought it was cute, and the grammar was above what I see commonly. Like and fave. I want to see how this ends ^^

Good story.
It is a bit low on emotions though, I think if you would add moe descriptions it would greatly help. Like what exactly is all going through Applejacks head when she sees it or a more elaborate description of Rainbow's feelings during the morning scene.

One thing that was strange though is that you seem so aggressive in the description. Why is that? I mean abdl stories aren't that uncommon here.

4399898 I could've sworn that at one point the moderators said you could get banned for making "First" claims on fics. I guess the intent was to frighten people into not doing it.