A Comet's Tale

by Parakalo

Chapter 13 - Comet's Relatives

Rudolph's frustration was apparent in his eyes. He flexed his wings against the clips on his sides over and over as he watched Rainbow Dash and Blitzen argue on the starting line. Who had the advantage didn't matter. Where they were going wasn't important. Rudolph did not want to sit on the sidelines and watch. He could beat that white pegasus for her. She didn't need to stoop to his level. Rudolph could probably fly rings around him. Literally. After half an hour or so of arguing, a route was set. Reluctantly, Rudolph held the flag in his mouth, unwilling to let them go without him.

"What's the hold up, Red?" Blitzen started to become impatient. He hopped in place, waiting for Rudolph to throw the flag. Rainbow Dash looked at him, and he saw the sadness in her eyes. He knew he was being selfish. This was her race. Trying to get involved in something that had nothing to do with him would only cause more problems. Reluctantly, Rudolph gave the flag a swing, and in a small explosion of dust and wind, they were off, disappearing off into the distance. His wings aching from flexing against the clips, Rudolph put down the flag and watched them go.

Rainbow Dash's form was always a sight to behold. It was always something Rudolph had difficulty putting into words, although he had difficulty speaking period nowadays. Her entire body, from her nostrils to the tip of her hooves worked in unison to put everything she had where it needed to go as fast as possible. She was, without a better turn of phrase, built for speed. Blitzen was simply a larger pony than she was. Although he had much more mass to move, he had the wings and muscle mass to support it. Comet watched them race for the first ring, neck and neck. Rainbow Dash could hear the wind whistling in her ears, and couldn't help but feel bad for Rudolph.

He loves to race as much as I do. Who am I to get between him and that? She thought to herself. Almost missing the first ring, she forced herself to focus. That slip-up had given Blitzen the slightest of leads. Nopony could match her speed. Nopony. Shooting off like a rocket, Rudolph watched with pride as a rainbow trail shot past Blitzen, punching through the cloud-line and racing out of sight. This was something he had to see. Carefully checking to make sure no one was around, Rudolph undid the clips on his wings, hiding them in a bush. He wasn't going to race, he just wanted to spectate. Rudolph unfurled and tucked his wings, relieved to not have the weight of his clips hanging on his aching shoulders. It took him four tries to get off the ground and get airborne, losing balance only once before he, too, disappeared into the clouds above.

Dasher and Dancer laughed and laughed in Cupid's parlor. Dancer was tickled by Cupid's readings, and had her reveal card after card, answering question after question. The quality of their dinner, the weather tomorrow, how Vixen did on her literature test, the list went on and on. Exhausted, Cupid finished her last reading for the day, explaining that the card was The Devil. The horned pony represented an unexpected experience, or controversy. The foreboding of the card couldn't taint Dancer's good mood, however.

"I just love this air! There's something in the air, isn't there, Dasher?" She giggled and giggled.

"Of course dear," He looked at Cupid and shrugged. He was happy she was enjoying herself, despite the fact that he didn't know to what she was deriving so much pleasure.

"So who is the lucky pony my boy has found?" Dancer's grin became sly as she got low on the table, searching the room for something invisible. This dramatic change in subject caught both her husband and Cupid off-guard.

"W-why do you say that?" This side of Dancer made Cupid shift on her hooves in uneasiness.

"The cards told me so, dear." Dancer reached for the rapidly retreating cards. They took refuge in a furiously shuffling pile behind Cupid. "You said so yourself." Cupid searched her memory, and unless Dancer had asked her to read something, while thinking of something else, she hadn't recalled doing any love readings. She realized with horror that she could've said any number of things with her readings if that was the case. What if she said something bad about herself? Or hurt her chances with Comet?

"That Berry Punch seemed like a nice girl, didn't she, Dasher?" Dancer went through a mental list of all the earth-ponies she had met in the few hours she had been in town.

"I..." Dasher had never seen this side of his wife, either, "I don't believe Comet knows Berry Punch very well, honey."

"Well, what makes you say that?"

"She didn't know who Comet was when we spoke to her."

"I suppose you're right." Dancer continued searching through her mental list.

"What about that other pony? What was her name?" She ignored Dasher's facial expression at this, "Oh, you know! I've been hearing she has been spending a lot of time with Comet. She even snuck into Comet's house one evening."

"Applebloom?" Cupid was hoping Dancer wasn't suggesting what she thought she----

"Applebloom! That was it! What a delightful girl, don't you think, Dasher?" Realizing who his wife was talking about, he nodded.

"A very nice lass indeed. Good with her hooves, too." Dasher nodded with approval.

"Well, I best be seeing what my offspring are up to. I'll see you at the dinner, Cupid?" And with that, Dasher and Dancer walked away from Cupid's parlor, leaving her sitting at her table, mouth agape. An odd number of emotions bubbled and churned within Cupid. Applebloom was young enough to be Comet's child, much less... she shuddered at the thought. There had to be some kind of mix-up. She collected herself, and a disconcerting thought came to her mind. Why didn't Dancer suggest her? She had only known Comet since elementary school. She was only his closest and oldest friend. She revealed a single card, which to her dismay revealed an ornate circle of symbols of all kinds of symbols and objects.

The Wheel of Fortune. If a deck of cards could be sarcastic, surely it was this one. She collected her cards and moved out into the bustling afternoon, knowing fully well without the card that whatever happened, she sure as sugar wouldn't forget it.

Comet chatted the afternoon away, enjoying the company of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity and his sister Vixen in the Carousel Boutique, Rarity's shop of finer clothing. Comet had never particularly enjoyed clothing, but he was glad to see Vixen enjoying herself as much as she was, and it seemed everyone was having a good time. As he relaxed, watching Rarity and Vixen dance about the room in ball-gowns to the glee of the fillies around him, he couldn't help but feel the darkest sense of foreboding loom over him. Twilight looked at him to find that he had a look on his face that suggested a bug was in his fruit juice.

"Something wrong, Comet?" He shook his head and smiled at her.

"No, I---" He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Applebloom got up and, laughing, walked over to open it. After a pause, she returned.

"It's for you, Comet!" She hopped over to him, smiling. Unsure of who it could be, Comet walked outside to find the eldest of the newest generation of the Apple Family, Big McIntosh, waiting for him.

"Big McIntosh? Is something wrong?" The red colt towered over him, looking down on Comet's small frame.

"...Eeyup." Comet had never seen big McIntosh like this before. Comet shifted on his hooves in uneasiness at the awkward silence that followed.

"Is... is uh, is it something that's my fault?" Comet couldn't help but feel like a small animal that had broken something.

"...Eeyup." Big McIntosh put a powerful hoof forward, causing Comet to jump back, falling over a bench beneath some hung laundry. Although the green-apple eyes appeared emotionless, Comet couldn't help but feel that they bored through Comet, searching for something. He knew he was small, but against the great colt overpowering his willpower, he was miniscule.

"What c-can I do, McIntosh? What did I do?" With the physical stature of a wet puppy, Comet had no idea how to approach this situation. He had never been happier to see Applebloom poke her head out from the door.

"Comet, what's taking so lon--- Big McIntosh! Don't hurt him!" She rushed out to Comet, getting in between her older brother and Comet. She looked up into eyes, checking first to make sure that Comet wasn't hurt. She blinked a few times, listening to the red colt's incoherent whispers. She was completely silent as she turned to face Comet, pain in her eyes. "Is... is what he says true, Comet?" Her bottom lip and teary eyes were heartbreaking. Whatever Comet did, it had destroyed one of his greatest friends. What could he have done so mindlessly, so horribly, that it could ruin Applebloom's adorable face?

"Yes? No! I don't know what anyone is talking about! What did I do?" Comet was flabbergasted and confused.

"Are you... dating Applejack, Comet?" Comet's response was halted by his train of thought coming off the tracks and derailing into the station, crushing passing innocent thoughts in its wake. Something disconnected in his mind, and it took him a second to come back to reality.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Why didn't you tell me you were dating my sister, Comet?!" She practically shouted at him. In the seriousness of her face, Comet did his best to suppress a laugh.

"No! Who told you that? She's just a friend! I never had any intention of going out with Applejack! I don't like her that way." The relationship between Big McIntosh and Applebloom was reaffirmed by their simultaneous change of expression. They looked at each other and then looked back at Comet. "Why? Who said I was?"

"Your parents."

The gathering crowd at the small restaurant in Ponyville paused only for a second at the flock of birds that fled from what sounded not unlike a shout the Carousel Boutique. Fleeing for dinner with the crowd from Rarity's boutique, Comet was incredibly worried. He was glad he had managed to sort out this problem with Applebloom and (for his own safety) with Big McIntosh, but if his mother was wandering Ponyville spreading this rumor, who knows who might already know? Someone important might get the wrong idea. They arrived at the restaurant just in time for dinner, but the look on the waitress's face told everything that Comet needed to know.

"Applejack?" She had a look on her face like she couldn't understand Comet's thought process. Comet waved her off with a worried hoof.

"Don't worry, I'll explain everything." Comet and his friends gathered around the large banquet that had been played out for Comet and his friends. Everyone that Comet had taken a liking to in the past few months had all gathered to meet and greet with Comet's family. Unfortunately, the only spot available was next to a very irritated Applejack, who was at the center of attention. Comet did his best to slink in next to her unnoticed, but he was unable to accomplish this without first drawing the attention of his parents.

"Leaflet!" Dancer's shouting attracted throngs to her as usual. "When were you going to tell us that you had met someone special?" Her gaze repeatedly returned to Applejack, who would in turn shoot a glare at the colt next to her. He had some explaining to do.

"Mom... we're not... I didn't..." He tried to explain himself.

"It's okay, Leaflet, I just wanted to speed things along." She was sure dense enough to be Comet's mother, "When I found out that you were seeing someone, I just had to find out as much information as possible about her. What a lovely earth-pony she is, too, I'm so proud of you, Leaflet."

"Applejack and I aren't dating, Mom." He finally managed to silence her, "No offense to you, Applejack, but I'm not dating anyone, and I never really had an intention of going out with anyone for awhile. Why are you spreading rumors that I was dating Applejack?" Dancer laughed at this.

"Oh, Leaflet, don't be coy. You can't keep secrets from me. I heard you've been spending a lot of time with a certain Applebloom, not Applejack."

There was a pause around the whole table. All the pieces had fallen into place. Applebloom revealed herself, taking a seat on Comet's lap, overjoyed at the idea of being paired with Comet.

"Hello there, Applebloom." Comet rubbed her head, disheveling the bow on her head. She smiled back up at him.

"Howdy, Comet. Is it okay if I come over and watch the stars again tonight?"

"Sure, Applebloom. My house is always welcome if it's okay with Applejack." Applejack rolled her eyes, knowing finally what was going on after a hectic afternoon of accusations.

"Of course, Applebloom. Just don't be out too late." Everyone laughed, the situation finally resolved. Embarrassed, Dancer ate almost entirely in silence, speaking only when spoken to or prompted by Dasher. Beyond this, a merriment was had about the table, although Appplebloom was a bit put off to find out she hadn't successfully roped down Comet, so to speak. Finally, during dessert, Dancer spoke after spending a long time in thought.

"Cupid's readings are never wrong, though."

"I'm sorry, Mom?"

"Cupid told me that you were thinking of someone special, and Applejack was the only earth-pony that came to mind." Comet blinked. An incredibly delicate situation had splayed out before him. He would have to navigate this carefully, or she would find out that Comet was interested in not one, but two unicorns, no less.

"Why do you have to bore into my social life, mom? Can't I let you know when I'm ready? Or I've actually asked her out yet?" Comet tried to pin it back on her.

"So there is somepony you like." Dancer's sly smile returned.

"Ugh..." Dasher rolled his eyes, getting irritated with his spouse, "I'm going to need a drink if this going to happen tonight..." He flagged down the waitress and had her bring him and his son an ornate cocktail of a number of different alcohols. Comet looked at him nervously. "Ha! Don't worry, son. A mare should drink and be merry with his son! I'm proud of you and all your friends." The waitress returned with the pair of drinks, setting one down in front of Comet. She was silent. It bubbled and hissed in its clear glass, and although it didn't look particularly appetizing, Comet found that downing it burned is throat and made his head swim. It was perfect for drowning out the babbling of his mother and the rising voices of the ponies around him. Another left Comet's vision hazy, his speech almost incomprehensible.
A third, and... well... Comet wasn't sure what happened after that point.

Comments

[Parakalo]

Let me say that this is only a piece of this chapter. I just want to reassure people that I'm writing, and this is something like a teaser of sorts. Look forward to the rest into the afternoon

[Dee Bee Doo-wop Cooper]

Omg can't wait for more (even though I know how it ends). Also congrats on making it onto the featured board.

[Rolix]

I'm tired and sick so I'll make this short and quick.
Things that bothered me:
"Rainbow Dash's form was unlike anything that he had ever seen. He had seen her fly before, but never had the chance to truly observe her flying."
Uh...He went to flight school with her. I really doubt Rudolph of all people hasn't observed Dash's form while flying.

"That Berry Punch seemed like a nice girl, didn't she, Dasher?" Dancer went through a mental list of all the ponies she had met in the few hours she had been in town.
In this line you missed a valuable opportunity to show Dancer and Dasher's views on Earth Pony Relationships. Considering you're not rewriting the first chapter as you first intended in order to get the point across about how much they disapprove of Unicorn and Earth pony relationships, you're going to need every opportunity you can get. For example in this line you just need to add the word "Earth" in front of ponies and BAM! You've already subtly gotten a point in. It's all about subtly my disappearing friend. Anyway...Good to have you back.

[Parakalo]

29361
Acutally... You are absolutely right. In both regards.
It makes me kinda emberassed that I already and plot-holing myself after a day back. I'll take a look at that and tinker with it to make it more believable.
Your intuition is astounding however. I honestly didn't think of that. I'm really glad I have a Rolix to help with this.

[Dee Bee Doo-wop Cooper]

Now that you have the whole chapter up I am very excited, it was a great read as always. One thing though you might want to change where Cupid calls herself a fool to foal, just a suggestion.

[Les Pony]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
I hope you get the next chapter written soon.

[Parakalo]

79995 Thanks I'm just glad to be writing period again. It's been something of a hiatus, between now working two jobs and trying to keep up the "holiday lifestyle", its just been full to exploding all day e'ry day. I want to try and get the next chap up tomorrow night; that seems to be where my next hole is. I'm just glad the story is actually gonna move now. It felt too... I don't know how to say it. Too... uh... cutesy? Too "Hallmark Card" up until this point. This is the point I am particularly looking forward to writing, because it means Comet is starting over from scratch, and that's just the way I want it.

[lunadashscratch]

I'm probably not the first to say this but why not ship comet with the waitress or Zecora he's pretty close to both of them and he's already saved zecoras life and there both unexpected posiable plot twists that won't revive to much hate also what happened to apple bloom following comet around she was like a cute little stalker / fan girl "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS STALKER CUTIE MARKS GO" you know you could just say she's become obsessed with astronomy and then she can get her cutie mark by learning astronomy from comet as an added on bounes

[lunadashscratch]

Sorry meant to poast on last chapter glad to see AB (apple bloom) back to following comet around like a fan girl

[Parakalo]

Hey all. I have been going back and re-doing some of the older(est) chapters. There is sort-of-kind-of a new direction that the story is going in, and I have to tinker with some of the older stuff in a bit. Nothing monumental is changing, and I would say that if you decided going back and re-reading was a waste of time, I'd say that's cool. Nothing huge is going to change. A lot of errors are getting fixed primarily. There are only a couple of important things that are changing, but I'm not saying what they are You wanna know whats new so you don't get lost at the end? Then go back and re-read as I move on.
ALSO: I am working as fast as I can >;< between work, preparations for going back to college, and a slew of other things going down, I'm really doing all that I can.

I Love you all!