A Comet's Tale

by Parakalo

Chapter 10 - Comet's Assistant

As Comet walked home, he found the wind was gusty, unpredictable. He turned and watched the Everfree Forest. This was not something he wanted to deal with today. As he walked up the hill, he eyed the sky for any developing clouds. Nothing to be concerned with... just relax, he unlocked his door and came inside with his book. The air pressure was still dangerously low. Wind speeds... sporadic. He watched the three-dimensional dial spin back and forth on a gyroscope. If a dust storm built up, it could mean a lot of collateral damage for Ponyville. He realized there was someone in more immediate danger. He grabbed a printout of the variable wind speeds and put it and some supplies into a saddlebag. He needed to make Cloudsdale aware of the potential magnitude of this storm. But first, he needed to make sure that Zecora was safe. He turned to leave.

He opened the door to find Cupid standing there waiting for him.

"Cupid!" Why now? He had work to do...

"Hi, Comet." She smiled at him, "Are you busy?"

"Actually," He worked around her to get out the door, saddlebag half on, "I am. I could use your help, though."

"Really?" She was disappointed, but glad she could contribute, "What do you need?"

"I need you to go to Ponyville. Find Twilight Sparkle in the library." Cupid's look of disapproval irritated Comet.

"What?" Comet didn't have time for this. "Something wrong?"

"No." Cupid composed herself. Comet needed her help. "I'll find Twilight."

"Alright. She has a baby dragon that follows her around named Spike. Give him this," He passed the scroll of readings to her. "I need you to have him send this with a letter. There's a storm coming. I need a hazard team and Rudolph inbound right away."

Understanding that this was an issue greater than her, she nodded. "What will you be doing?"

"I need to get Zecora out of the forest before the coming storm gets any bigger. It could be dangerous for her to stay in the forest."

Cupid nodded. She was glad she knew him well enough to not need to worry. As she ran off for Ponyville, she was legitimately worried. Was this just another day for Comet? It seemed so... dangerous. She hoped she could get into town in time.

As Comet neared the forest, the wind picked up. Leaves off the trees and loose dirt from the ground picked up and swirled and spiraled in small twisters. All the signs were in place; a dust devil was brewing. He was lucky it was a dry day. If it got any wetter, this could escalate into a full-blown typhoon. He rushed down the trail.

"Zecora! Zecora!" Where was she? He rushed around her hut. She wasn't inside. Did she already get out?

"Comet, there is no need to shout," She came out of the forest, "Can't you see that I was out?"

"Zecora, we have to go! A storm is coming," She seemed abnormally calm.

"I think you are overreacting some," She looked around. "A little wind never hurt anyone."

"It's small now, but trust me, we need to get out of the forest right away!" She saw the urgency in his eyes, and trusted him. She ran inside and grabbed some things, and made for the edge of the forest. As Zecora ran with him, she saw his cause for concern. The older trees moaned under the stress of the building storm. This is could cause a lot of damage.

Cupid found the library and knocked on the door. She tapped her hoof in impatience. Rarity opened the door.

"Cupid! How delightful. Come in, come in."

"Thanks. Is everypony here?" They came up to the second floor and found Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and spike gathered in a circle. Everyone seemed cheerful and greeted her when she walked in.

"Spike," Cupid walked over to him and handed him the scroll of technical readings. "Comet asked me to get you to send a letter to Cloudsdale for him."

"Okay. What does it need to say?"

"That there's a storm building in the Everfree Forest, and that he needs a hazard team led by Rudolph to help take care of it."

"What?!" Everyone had no idea how she could say that so calmly.

"What can we do?" Rarity hoped Cupid had an answer for her.

"We need to warn Ponyville!" Rainbow Dash got up and headed for the door. The others followed him. Cupid watched Twilight Sparkle leave and followed her out.

When Comet and Zecora got into town, they found Rudolph and a team of Pegasi there waiting for him. When Comet came into few, Rudolph lost his balance and landed with a thud on the ground.

"S-sir." He quickly got up when Comet approached him.

"Easy, Rudolph. I need you to counteract the culminating low-pressure zone with a building centripetal force that would disperse the now rotating cumulonimbus cone."

"S-sir?" None of the Pegasi had any idea what he was talking about. Comet groaned.

"Get in there and fly counterclockwise! Go, now!" The pegasi rushed off for the forest, Rudolph bounding in an attempt to get airborne toward Comet's house. "Where's Rainbow Dash?"

Zecora went to help their friends while Comet ran through the town. "Rainbow Dash!" He called into the now scrambling crowds. Ponies from all over town boarded windows, rationed food and barrels of water, and did head counts. Cupid, who was shepherding a group of school-children back to their parents, watched him run through the streets. She wasn't sure how it made her feel to watch him look so fervently for her friend.

"Rainbow Dash!"

"Yeah Comet?" She set down a board she was carrying and flew over to him.

"I need you to come with me. The hazard team might need your speed."

"All right!" They rushed off to his house.

After some climbing and uncoordinated flapping, Rudolph managed to scale onto Comet's roof. He watched as the team moved in unison against the wind, in hopes of slowing the growing storm. The wind could be felt at Comet's house at this point, picking up and not relinquishing for minutes on end. Rocks and small trees could be seen through the cloud cover. Rudolph pawed the roof, wishing he could do something. Comet and Rainbow Dash joined him shortly, Rainbow landing next to Rudolph.

"How are they faring?" Using Applebloom's ladder, Comet climbed up onto his roof.

"N-not well, s-sir."

"We should get in there and help them!" Rainbow Dash didn't want to sit around and do nothing. They watched in horror as one by one, the hazard time dropped out of the storm. It was building too quickly, and one of the members of the hazard team was taken out by a tree. They disbanded into the forest.

"This is bad! It could head for Ponyville!" Rainbow Dash, overpowering Comet, took off. She stopped to turn back to look at Rudolph, "Are you coming?"

"I... I-I c-can't..." Rudolph didn't know what to do. He couldn't keep up with Rainbow Dash anymore. The look she gave him made him feel more helpless than he had in a very long time. In a flash of multicolored light, Rainbow Dash took off for the now rampaging typhoon.

"We have to stop her! She could die, Rudolph!" Comet got up and rushed over to his equipment. There had to be some way to dissipate the storm. At least direct it away from Ponyville, something. Rudolph sat on the roof, alone. The wind whipped in his ears and mane and dirt stung his eyes. He watched the trail from Rainbow's tail rush in circled around the hurricane, dodging debris. If only he could do something. If only he wasn't so debilitating. Comet came back up with a long trail of readings. "If we punch a hole through it, we could cause a pressure vacuum that forces the typhoon to move in the direction we put through it. You have to tell Rainbow Dash!"

"I..." Rudolph looked within himself. He had to try. He leapt off the roof, attempting to stay airborne, but crashed to the ground. He watched the cyclone from the dirt in despair. Why was he so useless?

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash's trail stopped. They stared in horror. It didn't make it out of the cyclone. She was still inside.

Rudolph rose from the ground. He knew what he had to do. Comet watched him from the roof.

"...Rudolph?" He took off his glasses, and looked up at Comet. He had never seen a face so serious. Rudolph removed his lab coat, revealing a thin frame and maroon arrow in the shape of a Z on his flank. Comet had never thought about what Rudolph's talent was. Rudolph looked up at Comet.

"S-sorry... s-sir..." And we was gone. Comet watched speechless as the red trail bolted through the sky.

His flight pattern was not unlike a scribble, darting in every which direction like a red bolt of lightning. He never moved in the same direction for more than a yard, making him difficult to watch for more than a minute.

Rudolph pumped his wings and swung his weight with a finesse he hadn't had for a long time. His head ached, but it didn't matter. He needed to help his old friend.

Face it Red, you can't beat me. The wind was bitter and stung his face. When he was close enough to the outside of the cyclone, he stopped for just a second to get his bearings before zig-zagging off again.

Is that a challenge? Low-altitude obstacle course, after lunch. He punched through the side of the cumulonimbus clouds, the vacuum of air behind him pushing him into the raging torrent.

So you beat me once. You got lucky, Red. Rudolph's jagged path cut around debris, turning on a time to make sharp turns Comet couldn't believe. He disappeared into the eye.

This was fun. We should do it again sometime. Rudolph scanned the inside of the hurricane, looking for Rainbow Dash. His head pounded, his vision clouded. He shook it off, finding a rainbow-colored tail in the top of a tree.

That win was just luck. You know I am the fastest, Red. You can't beat me. He rushed over, dodging around a tree and through a tree and oscillating around Rainbow Dash until he found a way to scoop her up.

Red? Red, you're okay. Oh Celestia, please tell me you're okay. Somepony help me! He did his best not to hurt her as he whipped around in the storm, punching out the other side.

You're awake. I'm so glad, Red. After he broke through the other side of the cyclone, he worked his way around it as it moved toward him. He could feel blood from the crack in his skull mingle with his perspiration.

The doctor... he told me you'd never fly again, Red... As Rudolph cleared the storm, he could feel his balance failing him. His wings, no longer in unison, folded and he crashed into Comet's house, dropping Rainbow Dash on the grass. He slid to the ground, unconscious.

Dumbfounded, Comet leapt down half the ladder and rushed over to them. He saw Rudolph bleeding from the skull and panicked. He must have hurt himself in the storm. Thinking quickly, he got Big McIntosh's cart. He hauled Rainbow Dash and Rudolph into the cart, surprised at how heavy his thin assistant was. He strapped himself in and rushed for town. Rudolph had saved them from a brutal storm, and he was not going to lose him now.

He pulled on the practically overflowing cart, straining and bruising the harness into his gray flesh. Slowly, the cart inched ahead, and Comet got it moving. He panted and wheezed as he finally got the cart rolling for Ponyville. One step at a time, Comet pushed himself like he had never pushed himself before, Almost there. One... more... step...

Rainbow Dash came to in the cart. Something felt hot against her side. She had a splitting headache, and her right wing burned and stung to the touch. She looked up to find her childhood friend Red, and she was practically on top of him.

"Red...? Red!" He was bleeding. "Not again!"

She paced in the waiting room, tears stained on her blue face. A nurse came to her.

"What happened? What were you doing?"

"We... we were racing, and he must have lost control... and..."

"Rainbow Dash... I'm afraid your friend has sustained a lot of damage to his skull. There's a possibility he's taken brain damage..."

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Red... I'm so sorry..." Rudolph stirred at her voice.

"D-dash... I... I d-don't hate y-you..."

"Red..."

When they got into town, their friends came running. With the combined magic of Twilight, Rarity, and Cupid, Comet was able to rush the two of them to the hospital in Canterlot. They found the executive secretary there, infuriated with all of them, when they arrived. She was shouting at nurses, doctors, and hospital security as they rushed around them to tend to Rainbow Dash and Rudolph's injuries.

"What have you done?" She shrieked, "What have you done to my son?!"

"Ma'am," Comet tried to be as respectful as possible despite the fact that he was loosing his cool, "Your son just saved Ponyville."

"You took the only good thing in this world and- Hey! Let go of me! What're you...? Hey!" Comet couldn't help but grin as his hysterical boss was dragged away by security. She was making a scene, he supposed. Now silent, they sat in the waiting room. Pinkie Pie entertained a young colt that waited with her mother, Fluttershy and Rarity sitting silently. Cupid and Twilight Sparkle did their best to cheer up Comet, who was beside himself with mixed emotions.

Rudolph... he never knew. He didn't know anything about his assistant, now that he thought about it. He had only known him for two or three days, and Rudolph had already saved an entire town, with Comet's help of course. Rudolph crashing into his house with Rainbow Dash in his arms played through Comet's head over and over again. He saw Rudolph's head before he hit the building. That injury was not new. He had pushed himself to the point of almost killing himself... to save Rainbow Dash. What was their relationship, he wondered, and what would it be like, now that Rainbow Dash knew who he was?

"It'll be okay, Comet..." Cupid put a hoof on his shoulder.

"Yeah, Rainbow Dash has probably hurt herself plenty of times before this... she'll be fine."

They sat in silence for an hour or two until, led by a nurse, Rainbow Dash returned to the lobby. The seven of them swarmed upon her, careful of her bandaged wing and head. She heard so many voices at once, and understood none them, but was overjoyed that her friends were all there to make sure she was okay. She was disconcerted to find that Rudolph hadn't made it out yet.

"His injuries were a bit worse than yours..." Comet though out loud. Cupid elbowed him at this.

"Where do you know him from, Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy spoke the curiosities of the entire group. They all went and sat down in the waiting room.

"Red was one of my only friends in flight camp," Rainbow Dash explained to the group. "He was lanky and didn't talk a lot, so everyone just called him Red." Comet nodded. "I thought he looked familiar when he showed up for work at Comet's house, but I couldn't recognize him with those goofy glasses on." A few of them rolled their eyes at this. Impulsive Rainbow Dash, as always. "Gilda called him Zig-Zag, because his special talent was that he could make turns sharper than anything we'd ever seen before." Comet recalled watching him take off, his entropic flight path that Comet compared to a red scribble. "He could double back on himself in mid-air like nobody's business. When I saw Rudolph fly for the first time, I knew it wasn't him. Red was one of the most skilled fliers I had ever known."

"Rudolph? Skilled? What happened?" Applejack didn't understand. The look on Rainbow Dash's face told the story.

"We were racing on a low-altitude obstacle course one afternoon. He had already beaten me once, and I guess I pushed him a little hard. He tried to turn too sharp in mid-air and went straight into the ground head-first. He had to go to the hospital, and I havn't seen him since..."

"And I intended to keep it that way!" The more composed Mrs. Lyra Windhoof joined them in the waiting room. An extra pair of security ponies took posts in case she made another scene. "Every time you show up, Rainbow Dash, my son almost gets killed! His first accident left him crippled, broken! It took me years to get him out of Cloudsdale and into the air again after that. He went to school, almost finished getting a degree, and found a job working for the weather committee until you showed up! This is all your fault!"

"I..." Rainbow Dash cringed, hanging her head, "I'm sorry... Mrs. Windhoof, I---"

"And now I've lost my baby Rudy again and it's because of you! You!" She screamed this last 'you' as the security apprehended her again and dragged her away. Some sedatives were in order, Comet commented to himself. Rainbow Dash hung her head low.

"What a witch of a woman," Fluttershy was flabbergasted at the display.

"Don't believe a word she says, Rainbow Dash," Rarity tried to comfort her, "Not a word if it is true. It was not your---"

"But it is my fault!" Tears welled in her eyes, "She is right about everything! I've hurt him twice now because I do things without thinking. I've broken my wing, too! I can't do anything!" She ran outside.

Comet wished they could help her, but the only pony they feared could do it, was their friend Rudolph.

Comments

[Parakalo]

New Chapter is up, finally! This one is one of my personal favorites, we got some intense Rudolph backstory, some Rainbow Dash empathy, and some intense action-adventure stuff! I really feel that the time I spent putting into it payed off; I had to scrap the story three times before ending with this product. Unfortunately, I am on a laptop at a friend's house, and it doesn't have spell-check. I'll get the errors and things taken care of tonight, but for now, enjoy the bad-assery that is Rudolph "Red (or Zig-Zag)" Windhoof!

PS - I'll put another one out tonight ^,^ late late. Like after midnight. Look forward to it~~~

[Rolix]

Okay part of this chapter has one of my worst enemies in it. Something I call premature sentences (because I don't know what they're actually called). These are sentences that are great for rough drafts, but need to be corrected before the final draft. They lack detail and more often than not, obvious information. Look in the first and second paragraph and tell me how many sentences have the same structure as "He went outside" or "Cupid made a face". Yes, they're short, sweet, and too the point...But these sentences bother me (God knows why). Simply adding even one word can sometimes make them sound better. "He immediately went outside". Sometimes adding more than one word is necessary though, "Cupid made a face although Comet couldn't tell what had caused her to do so". Just small things like this can improve any essay or any fiction. However, this is a matter of my personal opinion. It might be better to keep it the way it is...Who knows =/
Next I would like to discuss your wording. Let's examine this sentence:
"He grabbed a printout of the variable wind speeds and put it and some supplies into a saddlebag"
As you undoubtedly know, this was when Comet was in a hurry to inform the Hazard team and Rudolph of the coming storm but can't we use better verbs for portraying just how much of a rush he was in? I think we can...Let's try shall we?
"He quickly grabbed a printout of the variable wind speeds and stuffed it as well as some supplies into a saddlebag"
The original verb "put" doesn't exactly bring the image of a person being in a hurry to mind does it? The verb "Stuffed" on the other hand, does and causes a portrayal of Comet being in a rush to come into the readers mind albeit unconsciously.
That's all I really have to say about this chapter. The things that bothered me were only in the first part of this chapter so you can relax about having to correct the whole chapter. And I know the spell check wasn't on your friends laptop so I won't bother with that one. It's good work as usual and while I have some issues with Rainbow dash having a childhood friend/Potential partner (I'm jealous DX) I can deal with it...*sniffle* . I look forward to the next chapter.

[Parakalo]

@ Rolix - Rolix be my engrish teacher LOL
In all seriousness though, a couple of things:
The fragment "made a face" is actually a slang phrase from my community. I was writing quickly because I was way late :P I had no idea that was in there.
As for those other two lines, I suppose I should give my phrasing a little more love
I had a feeling would get a little backlash for the Red/Dash pairing. It's probably my favorite shipping to date, so unfortunately it's not going anywhere :3
It's going to get better (or worse, if you disapprove), so be forewarned

[Rolix]

16844
I swear...If Fluttershy is partnered off too...

[Parakalo]

@ Rolix - That would be fun, except I'm out of OC's to partner (unless Comet literally does choose neither :3). And this isn't the place for straight-up shipping, in my opinion. Maybe some other time, some other place.
BTW: Fixed some of the little errors in Chap 10, redid some phrasing, fixed all the spelling issues.
FUN FACT: "Leapt", the past tense of "Leap" (as in, to jump?), is not in the Firefox dictionary
Makes perfect sense, right guys?

[Parakalo]

@ TIP - ^,^ Thanks. I've had to scrap a chapter (again), so I'm going to get Chap 11 tonight! This I swear!

[Rolix]

17292
I know exactly what you mean. To be perfectly honest I was expecting this story to suck based upon the picture for it (You remember that kindergarden worthy drawing don't you Parakalo? ). To be perfectly honest I usually prefer almost any kind of story genre over First person OC stories. But upon reading it, two things attracted my attention...First and foremost, Comet. Comet has a love for the same thing I do, Astronomy. The second reason was because of the writing style of chapter 1. Whether it be intentionally or unintentionally, Parakalo was able to do the classic "Hook" approach to writing, but strayed from the usual stories that start with the cliché "Wake up from a repetitive dream" approach or the story starting in a dark room. It was unique and I decided to see where it went. Other than the finger cramps I get every time I write a review to this story, I can honestly say I'm happy I did.

[Parakalo]

@Rolix - I thought we agreed to never speak of this, Rolix. I can safely say that out of all the things that could have gone wrong, that first picture (the reason why I am no artist and never will be) was THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING. I assure you my writing style is entirely unintentional. It's only when I start becoming less spontaneous that things start slowing up. As of this point. I have a beginning, a middle, and an end for this story. I have an event progression, and the important things are storyboard-ed and timeline-ed. Now I just need to fill all the holes, fit all the pieces. This is probably my weakest point (second only to characterization of course), and it is where I run into quality issues, in my opinion. When it becomes forced, it just doesn't feel right to me. Chapter ten took three failures before the product I have for you, this chapter has failed me once and a half times already. I just find it difficult to write when it doesn't flow directly from my brain to my hand. If you could see my side of the story, you'd see I have three unpublished stories, four or five half-written chapters, and lots of little notes all over the place for ideas that I've liked that I haven't had the chance to develop and culture. It is a rightful mess. Once I hit something major again, the pace will pick up.
And you have no idea how much I look forward to your hand cramps on a daily basis, Rolix
11 is three quarters done, and after some collaboration with my pre-readers, I will be able to get it up in the next hour or two