Tony Zhang admired the courage and heroism of the Military. Putting your life down to save thousands upon thousands of others; It was something he only dreamed of. Well, until he became a US Navy SEAL that is. After months of training, hours of shooting, and days of living in the most terrible places on Earth, Tony gets his first major assignment.
Take down a huge cult following in China, that ends so badly that he wakes up in a desert, and finds himself face to face with a blue horse that really freaks him out. Instead of trying to solve his current problems, he starts a fight.
Good ol' US of A manners.
Sorry guys, I'm done. I no longer have any interest in this story, any of my other stories, or even the freaking fandom anymore. I haven't seen the fourth season, and honest to god, I don't want to. I forgot how the characters just even act. This story will never be finished. I'm sorry.
One thing, read up on Navy ranks and ratings, there is Sergeant in the Navy.
3404604
Not sure if I understand what you mean, I believe I included one? Hell if I know. I'm almost too tired to move my hands properly across the keyboard. But thanks for the input- I'll definitely check it out when I'm much more stable!
Edit: did some reading. Now understand what you meant. Sergeant is "petty officer, 2nd class".
Is he about to beat up rainbow dash?!?
LikeLikeLikeLikeLike!!!!!
3404631
I meant there isn't one. The Navy doesn't have sergeants, and I think a PO Second would be too junior for a SEAL
3404719 Thanks, I'll take it from here.
Deraj, you need to rework your entire rank structure. Corporal, Sarge, the Captain. While Captain is a Navy rank, it's much higher ranking than Captain in any other service, and you won't see a Captain leading a small team of SEALs in the field. Try Lieutenant instead.
PO2 is probably not too junior for a SEAL, but the equivalent of Corporal, PO3, might be pushing it, especially as a sniper.
His mother is a medic? No, she's either an enlisted corpsman or an officer doctor. And there are no carriers stationed at Pearl.
And non-Navy related things:
You have him drinking water a few paragraphs after you say he ran out.
He gets hit in the chest and coughs up blood. Uh, did you puncture a lung?
Despite these points, the story seems interesting. I'll see where it goes.
3404778
Yeah, I know. I've been going through it, reworking a few things. I've gone over the ranks, discussed it a bit, and think I have THAT part fixed. A lot of the stuff I have about his mother being a medic is slightly based off what my mother did in the Navy. She was stationed on Hawaii and her stories she told me have been quite an influence on me.
Also, some things will be worked out later! Sorry if I make everything a little odd- I live in a desert. There is no naval base nearby and I just use stories and the internet to get things going. It'll be a rough patch of road, but it's nothing my Silverado can't handle!
3404792 Hey, we're all here to learn. I've written quite a few Navy-centric stories so hit me up if you need information.
3404800
Thanks man! I'll go your way if it's needed!