UNDER MAJOR EDITING< PROGRESS UNTIL CONTINUATION OF THE STORY (15-20%)
There are times in history, when a select few are marked to have their paths intwine. When old rivalries and resentments surface between the gods of old. When ages that have basked in the joys of ignorance and peace, will be cast under the clamor of war so that the gods might notice them.
Two unfortunate souls will bring about the age of war and strife the likes of this world has ever seen only once before. These two will form a bond that could outlast time itself. A bond composed of the pure power of friendship, shaped by the embodiment of love, tempered by the fires of hatred, hammered by horrible loss, cooled in the bottomless pits of despair, and encrusted with the sacrifice of all one would hold dear.
They would be the heralds of the gods, and the harbingers of war. Both incorruptible good and unclensable evil will mark them as their own, and many others to bring about their vengeance upon each other.
Trials and tribulations will be laid out to test the resolve of the two, most seemingly very... Tenacious. But they will carry each other through the test, to make it to the end of the journey. For fate has decreed it to be so.
Two things:
enjoy the like and thumbs up..
also its Dæmon.. not daemon. æ < copy pasta.
thanks a lot promise i'll get better over the length of the story any other corrections are welcome
I like the concept you have here, but it's gonna need some work. First, spelling and punctuation. Second, try to describe things in more detail, like instead of saying, "The mare had red fur, a black mane, and purple eyes.", say "The mare was breathtaking. Her mane shimmered a dark ebony, contrasting deeply with a crimson fur that shined in the moonlight. Her eyes were a myriad of shades of violet, and looking into them was like gazing at the last traces of a dazzling sunset."
Do you see what I mean? This story has potential, you just need to improve on it a little.
5266868 Wow. Someone actually found this? heh heh I shouldn't be questioning my fortune though huh? Thanks for the criticism, I was tired when I was typing that, ill make sure to fix it right away. Also thanks for reading this story, I haven't been able to work on it for awhile because of school and loosing my creative spark for a short while. but seeing that someone somehow found this story (you), I will continue with it with my friend the real Silver_Charmer. May I ask how you found this story though?
5283396
5283396 OHHH now I remember! your the author of 'The Three Sisters'! took ya this long to come check my sorry excuse for a story out eh?
5283418
No, I just haven't been on the site for a while.
5288445 ah i'm just messing with you, I do really appreciate you taking the time to read our story and help us out some. What you did may not seem like much, but it really brought back this story from the back burner . As you can see i'm revamping chapter one right now, then once I edit the others i'm off to create new chapters. again I thank you for awakening my interest in this story, this story will go one earlier than expected because of your show of interest. And for that, you have my eternal thanks.