3126103

No. Argue in front of me!

Dance, puppets! Dance!

I'm confused? Twilight wanted to make Fluttershy cum?

3126183

Good point, that was a little confusing. *tweaked*

this is goooooood

3126207

Hm. In retrospect, you have a point.

I'm still happy with the way I did things but I think now that I could have done it all graphic like and it would have been good too in a different way.

Thanks for the feedback, I really do appreciate it.

Well now. Although Twilight is technically a rapist, I suppose I'll let it slide as long as she at least finds a way to apologize to Macintosh.
Speaking of which. . . How is Macintosh and Pinkie doing? ^\\\^

3126251
Aww, does that mean it's already written, and can't be expanded?

Aaahh that's wicked disappointing!

Well, I still like what you're trying to do. I got a bad feeling we're never going to see Mac go to town on somebody with the collar, though.

3126275

No, you can edit chapters after you publish them. I could potentially throw that in. Maybe I will at some point.

What Shrapmo learned today... rape is okay as long as your sorry in the end... but not really sorry... well as long as you felt bad about it... even if they were for all the wrong reasons... The point I'm trying to get at is Big Mac deserves to be raped. And Twilight is possibley into mares... or something.... I'm confused, at least Fluttershy can sleep easy now! Am I right?!?!

3126286
I would adore that, if you ever did.

Enjoying it as is, nevertheless. Really like that you redeemed Twilight without backing down on the fact that, regardless of everything, she's attracted to what she's attracted to, and it's a part of her. I like that Fluttershy was both genuinely scared, but brave enough to stick it out for Twi. I kind of expected you to make her into this villain. I'm pleasantly surprised you didn't.

3126373

this is a good story, you took a premise that rewlly didnt need much to deliver, and flushed it out into a really good story.

Here's the thing that is really getting to me, how is Mac going to make it up to Fluttershy? I mean that is some pretty heavy stuff, does he pony up an approach her? That would be the best (only) way to resolve it in my mind. This is going to be a FlutterMac isn't it???

3126487

I was going to just leave the story at the end of chapter 2. It was going to be a fluttermac where they don't end up together in the end.

It might still be one of those, or it might not.

Well, read this so far.

And I gotta say... I don't like it. It's not the themes, it's not the story flow, it's not the simplicity of the story.

It's the lacking.

Lack of details, lack of focus on one character, lack of enjoyment.

Do you enjoy writing this? I don't like reading stories where the author didn't have fun. And I'm not talking about liking mature or scandalous themes.

I am talking about enjoying a story and adding the details and focus it needs and deserves. Sure Twilight and Fluttershy are important to this story- but why so little about them? We know what Fluttershy dealt with in chapter 2- And even up to now you have not truly gone back to her. Same for Twilight. Only now do we see her with tormented thoughts and already decided to confront Fluttershy. Even Big Mac and Applejack took the time to decide how to deal with things.

Good luck with your writing. Know for one- I hated this story.

3126663

I'm quite surprised someone thinks I'm not having fun writing this story. What makes you think that?

Based on the rest of your comments, it seems that I may have been having too much fun, jumping the gun and leaping right to the really interesting things that I wanted to explore the most, rather than fleshing things out to your satisfaction.

I appreciate the feedback, even the negative stuff.

3126663

And I gotta say... I don't like it. It's not the themes, it's not the story flow, it's not the simplicity of the story.

Are you saying you thought those things were good, or that you thought they were bad but it's not the real problem?

Random note to show my appreciation

I love how well you bring out the characters

There you go, all you wonderful, wonderful perverts.

I've continued with the PinkieMac

Humm, I was wondering when it would start to have more of a corrupting effect on the user. Also, I don't think Twilight's being all that unusual, she's just more capable and offered more opportunities than most. She's been doing stellar work to any crack this once.

3127358
Eeeee! I really like the new chapter ending. Nicely done!

EEEeeeeeJaaaaaa... Nein... I hate to admit it, but this chapter actually made me really uncomfortable... Fine good job! Give me more gut twisters and extreme uneasiness! I want to squirm in my seat with discomfort!
That sounds way creepier than I thought it would...
Anyways, good job - keep up the good work - you deserve a medal - yadda yadda yadda - Cheers.

I wonder were Rainbow Dash was when all this was happening.
If Rainbow Dash found out Futtershy was raped and by somepony she knows well, she would have rainbow nuked Big Mac.

-For the glory of the Armada!

3128629 Ditto, but I asked for this story to be continued so I will swallow my medicine. According to author, this may or may not end well.

3129263 Rainbow Dash would probably be like "Awesome! I've got to try that!" and then maybe eventually realize Fluttershy was upset and be totally confused. "So he rubbed your shoulder... and you liked it... and this is bad why?"

3128629

It made me uncomfortable writing it too.

Coming to grips with your sexual urges is hard enough for people like homosexuals, who feel shame even though they really shouldn't, and there's nothing wrong with it. They can come to terms with it by realizing that there's nothing wrong with them.

What's it like for people who have genuinely twisted desires? Ones that should never be acted upon?

3129203

I guess being offered random sex by an attractive floozy has a way of making you forget your problems?

At least, temporarily.

3129617
Please tell me you're just trolling me please....

-For the glory of the Armada!

3130596

Troll or otherwise, terrycloth touched on something I already wanted to explore. Applejack, for example, said she's conflicted too about what Big Mac did.

Wait, so... What's with Twilight? Is she, like, gay? Bisexual? A Sadist? Some combination of the three?

3131511

Bisexual sadist, and hopefully she finds a healthy outlet for her proclivities.