Grey Storm goes to Equestria

by Grey Storm

Florida Man VS The Entire Mess Hall

Grey Storm, monotone, neutral and emotionless as he may be, couldn't help but feel an uncharacteristic twang of interest, fear, and shock all at once upon hearing the fact that these two men had created. And he wasn't quite sure he believed them. "Well," he said, "I don't mean to pick sides, I'm still partial to both, but I don't really think you're telling the truth."

The larger man said, "Oh, we're not lying, Grey Storm. Me and Crendor here thought you up out of our little heads. Isn't that right Crendor?"

The other man, now named Crendor, replied with, "That sure is right, Jesse. We thought you up on our podcast. We plunged you into a superhero world of Guy Hero and Florida Man."

More shock filled the usually bleak Grey Storm, "You mean... You didn't just create me, but you created my whole universe?"

"Yup." The man named Jesse replied.

"Who... Who are you?"

"Why," Jesse said a little louder, "We're Jesse Cox and Eric Wowcrendor! Stars of the internet podcast Cox N' Crendor in the Morning!"

At hat exactly precise point, the doors to the mess hall were thrown open. Through them, came a limping, panting, and all-around exhausted black man. Grey Storm recognized him instantly as Guy Hero, and remembered that, despite this paradigm shattering discovery of his creators, he should remain completely unbiased. He regained his composure, and watched people come to try and help.

Tirion was one of the first ones up, followed closely by the large blue creature he had encountered earlier. They cam rushing to the aid of Guy Hero as he collapsed onto the floor. The impact of his enormous body shook the massive hall, and caught the attention of every being in the room. The princesses were also up quickly, and went to help. Soon everyone was crowding around, being silent as they watched two princesses, a warrior, and some sort of tribal creature help this fainted man.

"Son, what is your name?" Tirion asked.

"I-it's Guy... G-guy H-hero."

"Vol'Jin," Tirion said, starting to give orders, "You go and find some herbs. Anything to get this fever down. I'll do my best to patch up his wounds."

The large blue man, who Grey Storm now understood to be Vol'Jin, asked the princesses, "Do ya have any Earthroot or Kingsfoil?"

Princess Celestia replied with, "Well, I don't think we have those specific herbs, but I'm not sure. You should speak with the Botanist in the Castle Gardens. It's just out the southern gate and down the steps to the right."

"Tank ya, Mon." Vol'Jin said as he left for the south door.

"Luna," Celestia said, "See if you can help Guy Hero somehow. Try and keep him calm. I'll do what I can to help Tirion with his wounds."

"My thanks, Celestia," Tirion said, "The light may not be enough to cure such dire wounds."

Grey Storm, Jesse, and Crendor worked their way to the front of the crowd, where they could examine Guy Hero more in depth. His face was bruised, his signature purple star glasses were gone, and he was covered in slashes, blood pouring from them. He periodically coughed up blood and the occasional tooth, and there was a huge, gaping hole in the middle of his chest. It was a miracle he was even alive, but nothing's impossible for Guy Hero.

Tirion put his hands over some of the smaller wounds, and they seemed to close and heal under their holy glow. The entire time, Tirion was muttering soft words, and Celestia was offering any help she could spare. Luna cradled the hero's head, trying to keep him calm and relaxed as the pain from the wounds was replaced by searing light, then were instantly gone.

This went on for a few minutes, until Vol'Jin returned with some herbs. He grinded them up, placed some in the open wounds, and some on Guy Hero's forehead. Each one stung, but the more Guy Hero resisted, the more his scars opened. Eventually, he even ate some to help the swelling and fever go down. Everyone was doing their best to help him.

But that gaping wound in his chest, that seemed irreparable. He continued to wretch and moan, and slowly die in agony. Everyone was doing what they could, Celestia, Tirion and Vol'Jin trying to heal it with magic and herbs, and Luna doing her best to keep Guy Hero alive and well.

Eventually, they settled on the conclusion that this could not be done; Guy Hero could never fully recover, but he could be placed in a hospital, and, under the right treatment and circumstances, be kept alive. They carted him off quickly, but he shouted out while leaving, "I'm not alone! The enemy is here!"

Everyone was confused by this, but eventually, their questions were answered. Florida Man appeared, a swordfish in one hand, an armadillo in the other. He charged, but didn't know what he was getting into. He immediately targeted the weakest looking one: Luna. But he underestimated her acquaintances.

Tirion stepped in, wielding his mighty sword, Ashbringer, and tried to swing at Florida Man. but the nimble villain was quicker, and ducked under it. He was met by Vol'Jin, swiping, spinning, and cleaving with his glaive, but to no avail. Even with Vol'Jin in front, and Tirion behind, Florida Man was able to hold on, and even get a few good hits on the tribal leader.

Then more and more stepped in. The huge, brick-skinned monster came in, wielding an axe that sung with wind every time it came down. Then, the black warrior who looked like Tirion came, swinging the sword similar in appearance to Ashbringer. Florida Man astonishingly continued to fight them off. Then the enormous green soldier started to shoot, and things got a lot harder for Florida man.

Out of nowhere, a hovering man in a red suit, with black splotches over the eyes appeared, wielding two katanas, while simultaneously dual-wielding pistols. He shot, swung, and threw mines. He seemed to teleport from place to place, until, suddenly, he disappeared. He was replaced by the White Old man with the staff. He shouted a few words incoherently, followed by magic erupting from his staff.

Florida Man knew he was outmatched, but still continued to fight them off. He looked around, trying to find the man who was shooting him, when he locked eyes with Grey Storm. Jesse and Crendor had left, and now he stood, emotionless as ever, watching him. Florida Man charged, and tried to get the superhuman. But this opened him up, which was a bad mistake.

He was immediately grabbed around the neck by the brick-skinned creature with the axe, and was thrown back. Tirion managed to get a slice on his back, Vol'Jin got a good cleave to the left forearm, the axe-wielder got a mighty gash to the chest, the darker Tirion managed to land a glancing blow to the throat, some magic struck his right buttock, and a few bullets tore through him.

The, his shouts carried through the fighting, bring with them, "I yield! I yield."

All the warriors backed off, and a very bloody Florida Man was left. He dropped his weapons, and was grabbed around the throat again by the same creature that did it before. "What do we do with him?" Asked the darker Tirion.

"I say" said the brute holding him, "That we kill him, here and now. Make an example of him."

he raised his axe, but was interrupted by Tirion, "No, Garrosh! Hold your axe. I know he has committed crimes, but there must be fair delegation to his fate."

Vol'Jin said, "I agree wit Tirion. We shouldn't be so quick to jump to conclusions, Mon."

"We will give him a fair trial, "Said the wizard.

"Don't you see?" Said the brute named Garrosh, "After all he has done, he does not deserve to live! Who agrees?"

The darker Tirion replied, "I do. We should give him no chances. He has done things to atrocious."

Tirion tried to plea with him, "But, Mograine, don't you see? What if he were one of us? One of our soldiers? You wouldn't leave him to die, now, would you?"

Mograine replied, "But he isn't, is he, Tirion? He is a criminal!"

the teleporting man appeared, saying, "Hey, guys, I just looked at the end of the chapter, and I don't think you're winning this argument."

"Shut up, Deadpool." Said the wizard.

"Make me, Gandalf!" replied Deadpool.

the resounding sound of gunshots filled the air, and everyone fell silent. The large soldier stepped up, taller than anyone there, saying, "We'll give him a fair trial. That is the end of it."

"Oh?" said Garrosh, "And who are you to make me?"

"He," said another creature similar in appearance to Garrosh, though smaller, green, and wearing tan robes, "Is the savior of his universe. There, he is known as the Master Chief. And you will answer to him, or answer to me."

"Thrall?" Garrosh said, dropping Florida Man.

"Yes, Garrosh, and unless you want to face me and John here, I'd suggest you give him a trial."

"Agreed," said Princess Celestia, who had the actual say in this, "He will be given trial by Canterlot Court. And that is that. Any questions?" Silence, "Good. His trial is tomorrow at sundown. Thrall, you and the Master Chief will be in charge of looking after him until then. Garrosh, you, Mograine, and Deadpool are to return to your quarters, and leave this matter alone."

They were silent, except Deadpool with a whining sigh, "Oooohhh, Do we have to? I mean, can't we just stay here and party or something?"

"Quarters. Now." Celestia emphasized, and the three left the mess hall. "Tirion?" asked Celestia.

"Yes Princess?"

"I think it's time Grey Storm got the FULL tour."

"Yes, Princess." Tirion gestured Grey Storm to come, and he told him, "Now, Grey Storm. Today, your entire perception of reality is going to be tested. But just stay with me, and you'll understand everything soon enough. Understand?"

"Yeah, sure, I guess." Grey Storm replied, shrugging.

"Very well. Let the tour begin!"

Comments

[Starlight Jimmer]

The characters are out of character, the grammar is in the toilet, and there is too much happening at once for the human mind to comprehend. But dispute this, the stories alight, I guess, I mean, if you like it, sure.