Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the SMS Vorreiter IV, and Star Trek made it look easy.
-Kapitan Arnhem Zorner's captain's log
Nobody said this assignment would be easy. That's basically inviting an asteroid to come hurtling out of nowhere to ruin your day. Then again, he had thought it would be.
In hindsight, it wasn't that he had particularly minded the last combat tour he had served in. The ship had been older, yes, and the Americans just as competent at trying to kill him, but that hell was nothing compared to this hell.
Nothing to fight.
Nothing to be afraid of.
Nothing to survive.
That is, except his own ship.
Kapitan Arnhem Zorner wasn't having a great year.
"The Americans should stop trying kill us with missiles and railguns, Dewitz." he observed to the man casually seated next to him.
"Oh? And what should they use, pray tell?" Oberst Josef Dewitz replied in a disinterested manner that spoke volumes of what he thought of that idea.
"They should steal the specs to this ship, build hundreds of them, give them all to us in perfect working order, then have a field day in five years." Zorner observed.
Dewitz sat up to that, and smiled wryly at his superior. "Pfft. They'd win the war in days, wouldn't they?"
"Yup. Who woulda thought this thing practically came with an expiration date?" the captain groaned, looking out the cracked viewport in the ship's lounge. That there were 45 more micro-panes in addition to the cracked one was irrelevant, the mere existence of the cracks were disturbing.
“Ranting about my ship again, eh?” a new voice chastised.
Zorner turned to the speaker, Technischer Offizier Carl Strasser, who stood at the doorway of the lounge with his arms folded. “My ship, Strasser. Not yours.”
Strasser waved his hand dismissively at him. “Herr Kapitan, I mean no disrespect, but this ship would not function adequately without my presence. Therefore, in a sense . . . it is my ship.
“Ah, but I command my crew and make all the important decisions of this ship.” Zorner shot back. It occurred to him he really must be bored to allow himself to argue with his egocentric Technischer Offizier, instead of just pulling rank.
Strasser seemed surprised as well, but quickly gave the Kapitan a cocky smile, one that promised a good argument.
“I can run farther than both of you.” Dewitz cut in.
Zorner and Strasser turned to face the Marinesoldaten Oberst as one.
“What?” Zorner asked.
“And how does that effect the proceedings, Herr Oberst?” Strasser added.
Dewitz raised his eyebrows at Strasser, and held his arms out in front of him. “Just thought I’d put things in perspective.”
The slightly overweight 26 year-old glowered at the soldier. The two never really got along all that well anyways.
Strasser was short and whose long auburn hair fell over the rim of his glasses and obscured whatever his hands where gripping at the moment, whether it was a wrench in the engine room or a comic book in his bunk.
Dewitz, on the other hand, was the most stereotypical soldier Zorner had ever seen . Tall, muscular, and powerful, he cut an imposing figure even without his combat armor to enhance his bulk. He kept his blond hair combed straight back at all times. Crew members joked behind his back he would have made a great model for an SS poster 180 years ago. Of course, thinly-veiled references to Nazi Germany were highly frowned upon, but the comparison just was too good. One of the crew had even found an SS recruitment poster on the Internet with a ramrod-straight, iron jawed Stahlhelm-wearing Death Head badge toting SS Panzergrenadier that looked exactly like Dewitz.
Of course, that was before they set out on the exploration mission. The Internet was just a distant memory two months in, and the ship-wide "Internet" was falling pathetically short. When only ten people were off-duty at any one time on average, it wasn't very engaging.
"Seriously though, Strasser, why are you here?" Zorner hurriedly asked to break the tension.
"Guess." was his only response.
Zorner rolled his eyes. "What broke this time?"
"Overspace Transmitter. IFF shaft split completely in two this morning."
"Ouch." Dewitz winced.
"It'll take at least three month to rig a new one up, Herr Kapitan." Strasser concluded.
"Three months? Seriously?" Zorner queried. He was no engineer, but he knew something about his transmitter, and the IFF transmitter did not take that long to replace.
The Technischer Offizier gave him a wry smile. "Two months doing fixing more important things, then one week scrounging up replacements, and two weeks of installation, sir.”
“That estimation seemed remarkably rushed, Strasser,” Dewitz commented, “especially for you.”
“Indeed it was, Herr Oberst. The transimitter is not of special importance.” Strasser responded.
Seeing the soldier’s confused expression, Zorner decided to clarify. “Yes, Dewitz. In any other case the loss of the transmitter would command the utmost attention and devotion of resources.”
“And a mission in the depths of uncharted space doesn’t qualify?”
“There are two unique reasons. One, our ship has so many things breaking that if we devoted concentrated effort to fixing it without considering other jobs, well . . .” Strasser paused with a sigh.
Zorner cut in. “Let me phrase this delicately, Dewitz. Would you rather the bulkhead separating the storage bay from space split open, or be unable to talk to Imperial Space Command (ISC)?
Dewitz rolled his eyes at that. “No, talking to ISC doesn’t rate over death.”
“Good. Two, the special nature of our mission actually dictates that we only contact ISC in the case of abandoning ship, or discovery of intelligent life.” Zorner finished.
“And since even the Overspace Transmitter is only capable of delivering a message to ISC command’s Transmit Hub in Berlin with a minimum delay of a week,” added Strasser, “we’re either probably dead or discovered something that has the –
Heinrich!” he called to the only other person seated in the lounge.
“Jawohl, Herr Technischer Offizier!” the youth replied, his chair scraping on the floor as he snapped to his feet, saluting.
“Calm yourself. This isn’t Konigsberg Space Academy, ensign.” Zorner said to one of the ten fresh crewmembers that had joined the Vorreiter IV for the voyage.
“Ja, Herr Kapitan.” he said, nodding. To Strasser: “What do you require Offizier?”
“What’s the ship-wide odds that we find intelligent life again?” Strasser asked, winking to Zorner.
“Uh, 1 to 20, Herr Offizier.” Heinrich said.
“Danke, Heinrich. Continue . . . whatever you’re doing.” Strasser strained over Zorner’s shoulder at the object in his hand.
“Playing a chess match against Helen in Engineering, sir.” he replied sheepishly, holding up his tablet.
“What!?!” Strasser snapped.
“She’s off duty, sir. Still in the Engine room though, watching the recently fixed FTL drive in case of an overheat. You ordered that, sir.” Heinrich said with a raised eyebrow.
“When did I order one of my people to watch an engine?” Strasser wondered out loud.
“This morning?” Dewitz inquired. “It was in the mess hall at breakfast, if I recall. There was a lot of groaning.”
“Oh.” was all that Strasser said. “Ja, I remember know.”
“You’re growing old Strasser.” Dewitz declared.
“I’m twenty-six years old.” he replied flatly.
“I couldn’t tell.” Zorner interjected.
Without visible reaction, Strasser promptly sat up and exited the room, bumping into Dewitz still in the doorway, before turning left in the hallway presumably bound for Engineering.
Zorner and Dewitz laughed, and Heinrich just shrugged and went back to his chess match.
“You’re the worst example in the Kaiserleich Marine, Zorner.” Dewitz stated, then turned serious. “Anyways, what’s with this betting business?”
“There are 60 people aboard this ship. 3 of them believe the possibility exists that we’ll locate intelligent life on this voyage. Thus, 1 to 20 odds.” Zorner said.
“Explain more.” Dewitz commanded.
Zorner opened his mouth to do so, but a light in the Bluetooth on his ear blinked. Raising his hand to his ear, he clicked the device on.
“Ja?” he spoke tersely.
The voice of his Executive Offizier, Eccard Stricker, crackled through . “We’re coming out of FTL and are arriving at Adequate-928 at this time, Herr Kapitan.”
“I will be present in two minutes,” Zorner promised, then stood up and turned to Dewitz. “Follow.”
Both men started walking briskly through the environs of the ship towards the Bridge. As they were walking, Zorner continued. “As you can see, my crew isn’t convinced that this mission will be worthwile”
“I don’t.” Dewitz admitted. “I’m assuming the two scientists think it might?
“Yup.”
“Who was the third, then?”
“Me, of course! How can the captain of a ship admit to his crew their on pointless mission?”
“Lovely. Do you actually believe, sir?”
“He ought to.” a new voice interjected from behind, causing both men to jump.
“The infamous Kurtt Beigel.” Zorner stated.
“Ja, Chief Science Offizier himself. You know, we are travelling much farther into Uncharted Space than any other expedition before. The possibility of life always exists.” Beigel said.
“You’re why we’re here.” Dewitz nodded.
The trio reached the Bridge at this moment, the door sliding open to receive them. All six men seated at their consoles swiveled to face the incoming Kapitan, and they saluted as one.
Meanwhile, the Marinesoldaten guard stationed at the door yelled out, “Herr Kapitan on deck!” and all present saluted.
“Thank you, thank you.” Zorner gushed, bowing dramatically. “That never gets old.” he admitted to Dewitz beside him a moment later.
One of the men at the consoles stood up to deliver his report. “Herr Kapitan, we shall be viewing Adequate-928 any second now.”
“Is it vain?” one of the crew asked aloud, as per recently-formed tradition.
“Is the planet green?” another said.
“Does it contain oxygen in its air?” still another cried out.
“Will life be present!?” Zorner whispered, completing the New-Planet ritual of the Vorreiter IV.
Said planet appeared in the viewport.
The Bridge was suddenly very quiet.
They watched the planet below intently without a word spoken.
A minute passed.
Then another.
Finally, Dewitz voiced what everyone else was thinking.
“Yes on first?”
"It's green." Beigel breathed, eyes wide.
"Green . . ." Zorner repeated.
"That thing looks terraformed!" a crew member exclaimed.
"Holy shi-" Dewitz began, only to be cut off by:
"Herr Kapitan! Evasive maneuvers suggested!" the helmsman yelled.
"What is it?" Zorner instantly replied, turning away from the beckoning sphere in the viewport.
"The system's star sir! It's speed has increased drastically, and collision is imminent!"
The ship's sensors confirmed the same thing a seconds later, and the engines kicked into full ahead as the computer automatically boosted the vessel out of harm's way.
"What the hell is going on!?" Zorner asked as calmly as he could.
"Sir, the planet's moon has also increased speed."
"What's happening?"
"It's almost as if the star and moon here are controlled by another . . ." Beigel wondered out loud.
"Explain." Zorner commanded tersely.
Before he could, a crewman interrupted him. "Sir . . . sensor reports of the planet coming in now."
The computer's calm voice broke over the occupants of the Bridge.
"Air Composition: Mainly Oxygen/Nitrogen. Adequate,"
"Gravity: 0.05 less than normal. Optimal".
"Organic Matter: Present."
Another crewman had information. "Long-Distance cameras operational. Live feed coming in now, sir." she reported.
An image flickered on the main screen, above the primary viewport.
"Trees, sir?" Dewitz said out loud.
"Trees?" Beigel exclaimed. "This is incredible!"
"Wait, what's that?" the camera operator wondered out loud, panning the view to the left as she did so.
A building hove into view.
- - - - - - - - - -
On the surface of the planet, a strikingly tall, glisteningly white quadruped grunted in what could pass as annoyance.
"What is it?" she called.
Another similar but smaller, armored creature spoke.
"Luna reports a disturbance in the sky."
She sat up.
Its okay so far :)
So this is going to be a fic that relies heavily on comedic elements?
Considering that most "military" fics on this site are based on video games' interpretations of the military, your opinion of them is not only not surprising, it's shared by this former active duty US Marine.
interesting so far...I've had to break out my German accent
Hm I like the way this is written. Though if I may guess, I'm saying that English isn't your main language.
:I This ship in this story is comparable to my computer. .....Tell me more~! :D
VERRDAMT!
THIS SHIT IS GUD
2884169 Thanks, and actually English IS my main language. Born, raised, and live in America. The ending was made very late last night, and was pretty rushed.
2884121 Well, if it makes you enjoy it more . . .
2882987 I'm not really sure yet. It could go serious, it could go comedic. I'm not the best comedic writer, though, but as of now it's not as if the fate of all of Equestria hangs in the balance, is it?
2882980 Maybe next chapter'll improve your rating, eh?
2883133 My Germans won't be shooting ponies 'cause for the hell of it, man.
2884170 I lol'd.
2884320 AWWW YEA, THANKS DUDE.
>>Everyone You guys made my day with your comments and favorites! Thank you so much!
I have no idea why, but that names makes me think of this guy.
images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10600000/Arnold-Rimmer-chris-barrie-10686222-363-272.jpg
The description alone did it for me. Fav'd for reality.
-some reading later-
The physics and the sense of scale is a bit wonky though - Stars and moons, being really massive bodies, aren't something just to be 'avoided' like driving around a traffic cone on the road, more so if they start moving in relativistic speeds all the sudden.
And the gratuitous German, ach! Use it in moderation, Herr Autor, and all shall be 'gut'.
But still, I like this premise a lot. I hope there will be some caustic commentaries, and a lot of headscratching and awkward reactions at the amazing 'coincidences'.
Germans eh? why not. keep it going. let's see what you got!
2884772
Makes me think of this guy, myself:
http://marvel.wikia.com/Arnim_Zola_%28Earth-616%29
I like it!
Eagerly awaiting more.
Please write more!
THOSE SKINNY BITCHES TRYIN TO TAKE DOWN TEH SS KICK ASS KEEL DEM ALL
i mean ..... boo celestia and luna 0-o
Using shoddy equipment is not something that I would expect Germans to ever do.
2886804
Maybe this is some strange world where the Germans got dominated by the Russians and their renowned efficiency and engineering prowess was smothered by the itchy red blanket of Communism.
I have to say, the first sentence of this fic had me laughing for a good minute before I could read the rest. Well done.
...Germans?
I'll leave this here.
Nice to see a HiE story with a different nationality. Aside from the some spelling/grammar issues, the story is fine.
Not needed, but personally I think it'd be nice to see some more description so that we can better imagine the type of environment the characters are in. Gotta have some eye-candy between all the dialogue, you know.
This is very good, I eagerly await more of it!
One question though: They are in the future (around the year 2120 or so), so does MLP exist? If it does, will anyone in the crew know about it?
..What teh fu..
Isn't that a Valhalla from x3 reunion's X-tended mod?
2887066 2886804
Foreigners wouldn't know about it, but right know we have a building site for an airport in Berlin that frequently gets delayed, one for an underground train station in Stuttgart that apparently noone wants (google "Stuttgart 21", it's fun) and a few years ago the Historical Archive of the City of Cologne collapsed because - as far as I know - someone thought they could build a subway line with half the materials (From what I heard the archive did have a earthquake-proof vault which, at that time, was used to store cleaning supplies).
really interesting idea, I don´t get why germany has a kaiser agein in this storry and you´ve got some flawes in your german, but it´s still promising have a moustache
Hmm intriguing. I haven't really seen someone who took the Kaiserreich and mixed it with some Sci-Fi. Also, yes! It has a comedy tag!
As a German. I took me the freedom to launch a Grammar Nazi Airstrike in your direction.
First, the "technisch" is an adjective, thus it isn't capitalised, at least not in german.
It is "Technischen" since it is: "...mit seinem egozentischen technischen Offizier..."
Technische without R since it is: "Der technische Offizier gab ihm ein schiefes Lächeln."
Pretty sure you meant "Kaiserreich"
Looks pretty awesome so far.
I love the fact that you did it with a German crew: Nobody ever does them, and it gives it a unique perspective. You also used just the right mix of German and English in there to give us a sense of realism, but not enough to lose us.
In short, 11/10 so far. Please continue, this is worth both a fav and a like.
2886804 German engineered machinery, while very well made, tends to be over-engineered to the point that it becomes a major task to replace even minor parts.
Besides; when it comes to ships the British Empire has the finest fleet.
farm4.static.flickr.com/3583/3460523879_bbcf62e5fb_b.jpg
Come cheer up my lads, 'tis to glory we steer!
Interesting so far, although what's with the sun and moon suddenly speeding up? Who's to say there isn't life on the other side of the planet from Equestria, it would make more sense for Celestia/Luna to keep stable orbits. (Of course my head cannon has them lying about that to promote their "goddess" status, like ye olden Kings used to do.)
Anyway I'll see where this goes, hopefully the ship doesn't break in half because someone forgot to replace a bolt.
Seems pretty dialogue-based so far. Might want to mix it up a bit here and there.
Otherwise pretty good.
2892213
Yes, God save the Queen! (I'm Canadian, and proud to be part of the commonwealth)
You had my interest, but now you have my attention
Following, but not voting up or down yet. I'm interested to see where you take this.
This looks to be a good story. I'm looking forward to updates.
2889511 Heh, I'm totally a foreigner (from Asia, mind you) and I think I'd heard about the delay of the Berlin Brandenburg Airport on news multiple times. Whatever happened to the
stereotypicalfamed German efficiency?2900451
Well, if there's one group of German's that's working more efficiently than ever it's our cabaret artists. Those poor guys practically have to work overtime.
2890561
Actually, I think he meant "Kaiserliche Marine". Still, I wonder in what year we got that back. Or maybe it's a private company founded by Franz Beckenbauer (Okay, only Germans will probably get that one).
Also, "Technischer Offizier" is probably just his title/job description.
2902354
Both would work since "Keiserreich Marine" is a Genitiv+Nomen connection [Die Marine des Kaiserreichs=(Die) Keiserreich Marine] One can do this little word order shuffle with almost every Genitiv Fall.
E.G (from Heil dir im Siegerkranz/Hail to thee in Victor's crown)
Sei, Kaiser Wilhelm, hier
lang deines Volkes Zier,
der Menschheit Stolz!
Fühl in des Thrones Glanz
die hohe Wonne ganz,
Liebling des Volkes zu sein!
Heil, Kaiser, dir!
Step 1: Let's check if it even is a Genitiv. We ask for the grammatical case like in elementary school.
Q: Wessen Stolz?
A: Der Stolz der Menschheit.
Step 2: Now that we know that it is a Genitiv, let's move the words.
Normal sentence: Der Stolz der Menschheit
Altered sentence: Der Menschheit Stolz
Step 3: Being happy that you wasted 3 minutes of your life.
For the second one: Would you say "Der technischer Offizier gab ihm ein schiefes Lächeln" or "Der technische Offizier gab ihm ein schiefes Lächeln."
Just read and look what'd fit better.
And now look what you've done! I had to mobilize the entire grammar Luftwaffe. Thou hast inflicted this upon thyself!
(This post shouldn't be taken too seriously)
2902737
As I said, I think it's supposed to be a title rather than a grammatically correct part of the sentence. After all, there are a lot of anglizisms and other foreign words in the German language that wouldn't make a lot of sense if you tried to translate them in a conversation.
...
Anyone else say that we just try to keep to one language? I like English.
A story about another nation in space other than America or something like it? I'm digging this! It's always nice to see any story that brings a fresh idea to the table. I'm going to look forward to reading the rest of this story.
mmmm
In the future, Americans will either be cowboys or despotic boogeymen. In the latter case, Random Nation #7 will be the calm and reasonable side of the human race.