Chapter 11: Decisive Blow
"Ah, you're back." Dawn's previous good mood vanished as he was once again confronted by Applejack's anger.
"That's right ya monster," said Applejack, "And this time Ah ain't stoppin' till yer gone, one way or another."
"I see." Dawn glanced behind him where Scootaloo looked on with a mix of confusion and fear. "Scootaloo, please go inside and wait for Fluttershy to come home."
"What...what's going on?" stammered the orange pegasus filly as she tried to process what she was seeing.
"Yer pa was lookin' hard for ya," said Applejack, "Ah just knew this here beast was tryin' to steal ya away."
Scootaloo shifted nervously. "My dad..." Applejack's words, meant to inspire encouragement, only served to make Scootaloo anxious. Her father was looking for her? After throwing her out...
"Get on back to town and yer dad, where it's safe," continued Applejack, "Ah'll make sure this colt don't try anythin' funny."
Dawn rolled his eyes before continuing to regard Applejack. "Go inside the cottage," he told the filly behind him, "I suspect Fluttershy will be here soon to help sort things out."
"Don't listen to him!" commanded Applejack, "He's a damn monster tryin' to steal yer soul. Ah tried to warn mah friends about him, but they didn't listen. Don't let him put ya under his spell. Go back to yer pa quick!"
"I don't want to," replied Scootaloo, cowering behind Dawn. The vehemence in Applejack's voice terrified her. "My dad threw me out last night. I'm not going back to that place."
"That ain't true!" snapped Applejack.
"Yes it is!"
"It's not!" The blonde mare pawed fiercely at the ground, "That monster's bewitched ya. Don't ya see what he's doin'? He's tryin' to force ya way from yer family so he can do all sorts of terrible things to ya."
Dawn let out a sigh. "Let's compromise. Scootaloo, go inside and lock the door. Don't open it, even to let me in. I will wait out here. We can wait for Fluttershy to come home and help us settle the matter peacefully. There's no need to resort to violence."
With Scootaloo standing behind him, Dawn didn't feel like trying to provoke Applejack the way he had last time. He had been deeply troubled that he had allowed his anger to get the better of him during their last encounter and still struggled with the memory of Fluttershy's disappointment at his behavior. The last thing he wanted was for Scootaloo to see him lose his temper.
"Ah ain't compromisin' with the likes of you!" snapped Applejack, "Ah'm gettin' that filly away from ya before ya do any more damage than ya already have."
Dawn flicked his gaze over his shoulder, his reptilian eyes meeting with Scootaloo's. He gave her the slightest of nods. The pegasus filly hemmed and hawed for a moment before trotting reluctantly towards Fluttershy's cottage.
Dawn turned his gaze forward again, just in time to see Applejack rushing towards him. Spinning sideways, he lashed out with his wing. Applejack's charge came up short, looking like she had just slammed into an invisible wall before she was knocked backwards. The orange mare rolled across the ground before coming to a halt. Applejack groaned as she got back to her hooves. Blood trickled from her nostrils and leaked from the corner of her mouth. She took a moment to cough before spitting out a gob of red fluid onto the ground in front of her.
"Finally showin' yer true colors, eh?" she asked grinning triumphantly.
Dawn sighed and rolled his eyes again. "You would say that wouldn't you? You're so desperate for some sort of justification that you'd seize upon any excuse, no matter how flimsy. Singular unfortunate events that normally would have been overlooked suddenly become the result of my presence. And my defending myself from an unprovoked assault suddenly becomes a revelation of true evil.
"You're so desperate and deluded. You'll do anything you can to prop me up as the villain of your little story, just so you can justify the moronic, bigoted ramblings of your father. Asking you to do something as simple as thinking for yourself is clearly asking too much of you. I am beyond tired of this little song and dance routine."
Applejack was fuming. "How dare ya talk about my pa like that."
"I'll talk however I please about him," replied Dawn hotly, "Since he seemed inclined to take issue with my very existence without bothering to get to know me, all because my eyes are different from other ponies'. Would you mind telling me where his grave is so that I can go spit on it? In fact, I might leave a couple of other presents as well, just so I can show you and your father what I think of his manure-stained legacy."
Applejack was beyond the ability to even articulate words anymore. With a scream, she rushed straight towards Dawn, turning to buck as the colt contemptuously raised a wing, as though he were going to swat her across the face. The space between the two ponies visibly bent as his magic seized the air around him and prepared to send the surrounding atmosphere barreling straight towards Applejack as she turned around to try and buck him.
Then an orange and purple blur rushed between the two ponies.
"STOP!" screamed Scootaloo as loudly as she could, thrusting herself into the middle of the fight and trying to stop it before somepony got hurt. Dawn began to release his power, letting the air disperse, until he realized that, with her back to them, Applejack hadn't been able to see Scootaloo butt in. She was looking over her shoulder to aim her kick, but at the wrong angle to see the filly's approach. And she clearly had no intention of arresting her attack just on Scootaloo's words alone.
Dawn decided to change tactics. Changing the angle of his flap, he sent it across the space between him and Applejack, also exercising his magic much more gently. The resulting gust of wind threw Scootaloo out of the way of Applejack's buck. But now, Dawn was in a poor position to counter. He had swept his wing forward and it would cost him precious time to gather his magic and use it to move the air in his defense. He tried to do that anyway, sweeping his wing back towards its original position as it did so. His magic sent a rush of air that slowed Applejack's hooves slightly...but not enough.
The earth pony's rear hooves impacted Dawn's wing in an unpleasantly awkward position. Pain shot through him as a snapping sound echoed in his ears. But Applejack wasn't finished yet. Her hooves pressed past the colt's now broken wing and hit him full on in the barrel. Dawn's vision blurred as he felt his ribs crack under the force. Doing what he could, he relaxed his body and allowed it to move with the force of Applejack's kick. It was too late to avoid the damage he had already taken, but it prevented his injuries from getting any worse.
The colt skidded along the ground for several meters before coming to a stop. Realizing that Applejack wouldn't stop with just one strike, Dawn tried to get back on his hooves. But his injured side protested and his legs buckled, dropping him back to the ground.
This kind of pain was almost a foreign sensation to Dawn. The Gale King style emphasized avoiding or deflecting attacks without allowing them to make contact. He had received some training on how to deal with pain, but those lessons were rusty and he had little chance to practice. After his Master had died, Dawn had been unable to afford allowing himself to be severely injured. With hostile ponies seemingly all around him, any vulnerability would only serve as an invitation to further hostility. This was even more true when he had moved into the Everfree, where any infirmity would only result in him becoming prey for the beasts that roamed within. He'd handled minor injuries before, scratches and lacerations mostly. But broken bones were an entirely different matter.
Gritting his teeth, Dawn tried to fight off the pain and regain his footing. However, a shadow fell over him and he saw Applejack standing above him, her eyes glaring down at her victim. There was no mercy to be found in those emerald orbs.
"Now Ah've gotcha," she hissed, raising her front hoof, ready to bring it down towards his head. Realizing that he wouldn't be able to get up in time, Dawn prepared to roll out of the way, gathering magic in his uninjured wing to aid in the movement. In an instant, he would roll away from Applejack and, in the process, send a dense cloud of dust rushing up into her face, buying him precious time.
He never got the chance. Before either of them could move, Scootaloo intervened again. This time, she threw herself over Dawn, covering his body with her own. A strangled grunt escaped the colt. Scootaloo's weight pressed directly down on his broken wing. To make matters worse, she was also pressing down on his cracked ribs. Dawn's vision swam as he fought against the urge to just let his consciousness fade and pass out. At least that would mean that he wouldn't have to deal with the pain any longer.
"STOP!" Scootaloo screamed again, keeping herself between Applejack and her friend.
Thrown off by the filly's sudden intervention, Applejack stepped back a pace. "Scootaloo, what in tarnation are ya thinkin'? Ya could've gotten hurt doin' that!"
"Don't fight anymore," cried the orange filly as tears streamed from her eyes. Beneath her, Dawn was fighting back tears of his own as her weight continued to aggravate his injuries.
"Get outta mah way!" shouted Applejack, "This is somethin' Ah've got to do and Ah ain't lettin' ya stop me!"
"Big sis?"
Applejack froze. Ever so slowly, her head rotated around to look behind her. Standing behind the mare, a horrified expression marring her features, was Apple Bloom. Her watery gaze seemed to pierce straight through Applejack's heart.
"Ah...Ah..." Applejack struggled for the words to explain herself. To somepony as innocent as her younger sister, she could easily see what this looked like. It looked as though she had just assaulted an innocent colt for no good reason. Applejack had wanted to tell Apple Bloom about the things their father had shared with her, but neither Big Macintosh nor Granny Smith had allowed it.
"Why are ya tryin' to hurt that colt?" asked Apple Bloom, "Did he do somethin' wrong?"
"He didn't!" shouted Scootaloo, still clinging to Dawn's injured side, making him fight to stay conscious, "He was teaching me how to fly when she barged in here and started shouting all kinds of weird stuff about him before trying to kill him!"
"That can't be right," insisted Apple Bloom, turning her gaze back to Applejack, "Right sis?"
Applejack swallowed, knowing there was no turning back now. "Yer darn tootin' that isn't right. Yer friend ain't thinkin' straight now because o' the hold that thing has over her. That monster may look like a pony, but it's actually a demon that's come to wreak all kinds o' evil."
Dawn lifted his head slightly to look over at the sisters. Apple Bloom gasped when his eyes met hers. Dawn blinked slowly. "Long...story...short, she thinks I'm...some kind of...evil...monster...because I was born...with funny-looking eyes." His voice came out in gasps as he struggled to speak through the pain.
"Shut up!" snapped Applejack, throwing an angry glance back at him.
"You okay?" asked Scootaloo as she looked down at Dawn.
"No. Get off."
Scootaloo shook her head vigorously. "I'm not gonna let you fight her. And I'm not gonna let her touch you either."
"Not...what I...ack...meant. Get...off...pain." Dawn was dangerously close to passing out now.
Scootaloo looked down and realized that she had been lying on top of Dawn's wing, which was resting at an unnatural angle with an extra joint that it wasn't supposed to have. With a startled shout she jumped away. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry!"
"It's...alright," wheezed Dawn, finding it extremely hard to try and get back on his hooves. He chose to remain on the ground for now.
"He doesn't seem all that bad," Apple Bloom observed, before sending a skeptical glance at her sister, "He sure doesn't act like some kinda evil monster."
"That's the point!" exclaimed Applejack, "He's a deceiver! He comes in actin' all nice and polite, makin' everypony think he's a regular pony. But he's just tryin' to get 'em to lower their guards. He's already got mah friends thinkin' Ah'm crazy."
"If it looks like a duck..." Dawn started.
"That does it!" snapped Applejack, spinning around, only to find that Scootaloo still had herself firmly planted between the orange mare and her target.
"Get outta mah way!" shouted Applejack, rearing up and flailing her hooves angrily in Scootaloo's direction, trying to get the filly to back down."
"No!" cried Scootaloo, "I'm not letting you hurt him anymore."
"Scootaloo...don't..." Dawn hissed.
"Ah'm sorry about this then," said Applejack tensing, "But this is fer yer own good!"
She was brought up short as a blaze of violet light erupted in the space between them, dissipating to reveal Twilight Sparkle, who immediately lowered her horn at Applejack. Before Applejack could react, a bolt of eldritch power slammed into her, knocking her off her hooves. The bolt expanded, forming a purple sphere that encased her completely.
The sphere kept Applejack from hitting the ground, but it also kept her from moving anywhere. "Twilight! Let me outta here right now!"
"That's enough Applejack," said Twilight, glaring at the orange farmer with all the stern anger she could muster. "You've done quite enough for one day. Wait quietly and we'll deal with you later."
"But..."
"Not. Another. Word." Righteous fury seethed through every syllable. Applejack wisely clamped her mouth shut before Twilight used her magic to fix that problem as well.
Twilight turned around to see that Scootaloo was still standing protectively in front of Dawn. Her anger dissolving, Twilight smiled gently. "It's okay Scootaloo, I'm not here to hurt him. You can move aside so I can help."
The orange filly was near tears. "Everything was just so crazy. Dawn's hurt really bad."
Twilight gently ran a hoof through Scootaloo's fuchsia mane. "It's alright. Let me take a look at him."
Scootaloo reluctantly stepped aside to allow the lavender unicorn access to the prone colt. Twilight's horn flared and projected a plane of light that swept over Dawn's body. "Okay, his right wing is broken and it looks like three of his ribs on that side have been cracked." The aura of her magic settled over Dawn's wing. "I need to set the bone and then I'm going to conjure a temporary splint over it. I can also conjure some bandages for your ribs. Those'll hold until we get you to the hospital."
"The...hospital..." A nervous tone crept into Dawn's voice.
"We'll talk about that later. Now I need you to relax your wing so I can set the bone." Dawn did as instructed. "Good. This is going to hurt, but I'll warn you when it's coming. Now, on the count of one!" Twilight's magic tugged at the wing, setting the bone back into place. The only indication that Dawn felt any pain at all was a slight twitch of his eyelids and a weak grunt.
The aura surrounding his wing solidified into a sheath of light that completely immobilized the limb. The ebony colt's eyebrows went up as he admired Twilight's work. Streams of magic flowed out of her horn, forming glowing bandages that wrapped themselves securely around his barrel.
The unicorn sighed in relief. "Now that that's taken care of, we just need to wait for the others..."
Rainbow Dash chose that moment to come streaking in, skidding to a stop a few yards away from them. Fluttershy wasn't far behind her, immediately flying to Dawn's side. Although her first instinct was to wrap her forelegs protectively around the colt, Fluttershy's experience treating her injured animals held her back as she saw the magical wrappings over the colt's injuries.
"Oh Dawn," she whispered, settling on gently nuzzling the top of his head. "Are you alright?"
"I've been better," the colt admitted, feeling a bit more lucid now that he had received some initial treatment.
Twilight and Rainbow turned away from the touching scene to look back at Applejack, who was glaring at the colt with all the wrath she could conjure.
"What in the hay has gotten into you?" demanded Rainbow, walking right up to the edge of Applejack's prison.
"Ah don't have to explain mahself to ya," snapped Applejack, "Ah've been tryin' to protect our town and our friends from that monster. But none of y'all are listenin'. If Ah hadn't come out here, that monster might've taken Scootaloo away and done who knows what to her."
"For the last time Applejack," groaned Twilight, "The Eyes of Nightmare aren't a sign of demonic possession. Dawn is not some kind of demon tartarus-bent on destroying ponykind."
"How can ya say that after what happened?" demanded Applejack, "Ah heard it mahself. That filly's father is goin' plum out of his mind worryin' about her 'cause she didn't come home. And here she is with that thing."
"You got the going out of his mind part right at least," muttered Rainbow, "Scootaloo's dad kicked her out of their home last night. She spent the night here with Fluttershy. Apparently that jerk changed his mind and decided that he wanted her back, so he showed up at my place because he was dead certain Scootaloo would go there."
"Scootaloo! Is that true?" Apple Bloom stared at her friend with wide eyes. Scootaloo couldn't meet her fellow Crusader's gaze and averted her own.
"Yeah," she admitted, "Dad wanted me to show him what I'd been practicing with Dawn, but I had promised not to do it if Dawn wasn't there. Dad didn't like that. We got into an argument and I decided to tell him about not wanting to go to Flight School. After that, he flipped out and yelled at me to leave."
"Oh no!" gasped Rainbow, "I'm so sorry. I never thought he'd actually do something like that."
"Are y'all crazy!" screamed Applejack, "This here's proof! That monster set things up so that Scootaloo would get kicked out! Don't ya see, he's behind everythin'."
Dawn discreetly gave Fluttershy a look that practically screamed "I told you so." The yellow pegasus, reflecting back to their conversation the previous evening blushed and lowered her head slightly.
"Jeez, you're starting to sound crazier than Scootaloo's dad," said Rainbow, rolling her eyes in exasperation, "I was the one telling Scootaloo that she needed to let her father know she didn't want to go to Flight School. From the sound of things, that's what really made him snap."
"None of this would be definitive proof in any case," added Twilight, "Besides, I have this!" Her magic opened her saddlebag and withdrew a single scroll floating it over to where Applejack could see it before snapping it open. "Princess Celestia sent me a reply to my letter earlier this morning confirming exactly what I said. The Eyes of Nightmare have absolutely nothing to do with demonic possession. That was just a load of superstition cooked up by the Cult Solar."
Applejack's eyes slowly scanned the letter, horror dawning on her face as she advanced through it line by line.
Finally, thought Twilight, quite pleased with herself, With this, Applejack will finally realize how silly this is.
"Ah don't believe it," said Applejack, her voice nearly a whisper.
"I know you feel guilty about what you did," began Twilight, "But the most important thing is to..."
"No!" snapped Applejack, cutting her off, "Ah really don't believe it! That demon has y'all eatin' outta his hooves. He's even got ya believin' fake letters. The Princess wouldn't ever write anythin' like this!"
"What are you saying Applejack," asked Twilight, genuinely perplexed by her friend's refusal to acknowledge the reality of the situation, "I've been Princess Celestia's personal student since I was a little filly. I've been exchanging letters with her ever since I've come to Ponyville. I know everything, from her diction to her horn writing. I can tell you that that letter definitely came from Princess Celestia."
"That ain't true! There's no way that can be true! That has to be a lie!" Tears were streaming down Applejack's face. Even as she shouted and raged, her gaze remained fixed on Dawn, who returned her glare with an unflinching, almost bored gaze.
"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's definitely a duck," he muttered.
They were briefly distracted by the sound of hooves pounding along the path to Fluttershy's home. Looking over, they observed the arrival of Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Sweetie Belle, and Melon Cream.
The new arrivals screeched to a stop to take in the situation. Twilight, Rainbow, and Fluttershy looked on anxiously, wondering how they would react to Dawn. Applejack looked on smugly, anticipating that Pinkie Pie and Rarity would see the truth of the situation.
Melon completely ignored the situation when her eyes found Scootaloo. She simply rushed over and practically tackled her daughter, the two of them rolling away with Melon clutching the filly close and whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Initially shocked by the show of affection, Scootaloo soon gave way and quietly shed tears as she pressed herself into her mother's embrace.
"That's so awesome," gushed Rainbow, rubbing a tear from her eyes. Seeing her friends, even Applejack, staring at her aghast, she quickly rubbed the tears away and adopted a rather forced expression of disgust. "Uh...I mean...uh...Ew, mushy stuff."
Regaining her composure, Rarity surveyed the situation and gasped. "My word! What happened here?"
"Yeah! Why do you have Applejack locked in that magic ball thingy?" asked Pinkie Pie, "Is that some kind of new game? Are we gonna roll her around? Ooh can we? Can I have a turn? Quick! Put me in the magic ball Twilight! I wanna try too!"
Dawn had instinctively averted his eyes at the group's arrival. But now, he stared in stunned disbelief at Pinkie Pie. Is she for real?
Pinkie and Rarity noticed the colt simultaneously. Rarity's jaw dropped as she saw his eyes. Nothing Twilight had told her could have prepared her for them. "Oh. My. Word."
A thin smile spread across Applejack's face.
Pinkie, upon realizing who she was looking at, let out a massive gasp and dived behind Fluttershy's mailbox, somehow squeezing the entirety of her body behind it and disappearing from sight.
Applejack's smile grew a little more. Now that Rarity and Pinkie had seen the Eyes, she was certain that they would understand the threat this colt represented and help her convince the others. Even now, Rarity seemed to have trouble finding your voice.
"Your eyes...they...they are..."
Applejack leaned forward in anticipation while everypony else watching the exchange tensed against the coming explosion.
"They are simply magnificent!" Rarity exclaimed, her own eyes shining as she positively beamed at the young colt, whose own expression now reflected total shock.
"That color is simply divine. It balances out the contrast between your mane and coat so well. And the shape, so exotic... Oh darling, if only you were a filly I could design the most fabulous dress to highlight those eyes."
Dawn blinked once...twice... "That has to be the most roundabout way of complimenting my appearance that I have ever heard."
"Oh I'm terribly sorry if I offended you dear. I got a little carried away. You're a perfectly handsome colt. In fact, I would by happy to design a suit for you. I could make you look spectacular."
Dawn blinked again, unsure of what to say. "Thank you. But maybe another time."
"Oh very well, if you must," said Rarity, her voice dripping with disappointment, "But try not to keep me waiting too long. Inspiration has a very short shelf-life."
Grinning mischievously, Rainbow Dash trotted over and gently prodded Dawn's uninjured side. "You can always re-inspire her later," she jibed.
Twilight glanced over towards the mailbox. "Pinkie, what are you doing?"
Dawn expected her to stick her head out from behind the box, although he hadn't managed to work out how she was able to disappear behind it so completely. His eyes nearly leapt out of his skull when the box door opened and Pinkie's head swelled out like a pink ballon.
"I'm not here! I can't meet him yet! I Pinkie Promised I wouldn't meet him until Fluttershy said it was okay!" Not waiting for a response, she pulled her head back in and closed the door behind her.
Twilight rapped her hoof against her forehead. "Honestly Pinkie, you are so random."
Dawn looked questioningly at Fluttershy. She smiled down at him. "Pinkie Pie takes Pinkie Promises very seriously," she said by way of explanation.
Never mind that, thought Dawn, his brain flipping over on itself, How in the hay did she get in the mailbox?
"Um Pinkie, it's okay for you to come out and meet Dawn now.
"That is if that's okay with you," she added, looking at Dawn.
"Um," said the colt, language failing him at the moment, "Sure."
"Really!" emerged a squeal from the mailbox. The door opened and Pinkie launched out like a bright pink rocket, coming to a rest right in front of Dawn, dancing on her hooves and grinning widely. Light gleamed off her teeth and nearly blinded Dawn, leaving him dazzled, disoriented and more than a little disturbed.
"Oh boy! It's so great to finally meet you. My name's Pinkie Pie and I know everypony in Ponyville. But I don't know you, which means you're a new pony. And a new pony means only one thing." Pinkie paused and drew in a massive breath while her friends covered their ears, their expressions indicating years of experience with what came next. "A PARTY!!!"
Dawn's head rattled with the force of her voice. Managing to collect himself, he got up the nerve to speak to the pink blob of pure energy before him. "Um, didn't we meet already?"
Pinkie froze and shot him a confused expression before sitting down, tapping her chin with a hoof as her previously ecstatic expression dissolved into one of serious contemplation. "Really? I don't remember meeting you before."
"Well, it was brief," Dawn admitted, "Scootaloo was telling me about your...Pinkie...Promise, when you popped out right over there." He pointed out the rock.
"Oh," said Pinkie, "I wasn't supposed to meet you yet, so I forgot about it, 'cause if I don't remember meeting you, then it's like I didn't meet you before I was supposed to so I could still keep my Pinkie Promise."
Dawn's eyes rolled in their sockets before he collected himself. "You know what, I'm just going to stop before I hurt myself."
Twilight and the others chuckled while Applejack stared in stunned disbelief. "What's gotten into y'all? Ah can't believe yer takin' that thing's side in all'o this!"
Twilight let out a long-suffering sigh as she turned to regard her imprisoned companion. "Honestly Applejack. I'm not sure what else we can do. I showed you a letter from Princess Celestia herself and you pretend it's some kind of fake or hoax. You talk about how Dawn's the threat, but when I get here, he's the one on the ground with broken bones."
"Yeah!" exclaimed Scootaloo, rejoining the conversation, "And he got those bones broken because he was keeping you from bucking me instead!"
"What?" exclaimed Melon, giving Applejack a positively murderous look.
"To be fair," interjected Dawn, drawing Melon's attention, "She had been aiming for me when she attacked. Your daughter simply displayed a stunning lack of judgment by jumping into the path of her kick."
"Scootaloo!" scolded Melon, directing a glare at her daughter, who shrank back, grinning apologetically.
"Ah couldn't sit by and let him do what he wanted with Scootaloo!" declared Applejack, bringing everypony's attention back to her, "Not after he broke up her family so he could make her vulnerable."
"What are you talking about?" asked Melon.
"Ah heard all about it. He set it up so that yer husband would kick Scootaloo out and she would come runnin' here, where he could get his claws on her."
"I have claws?" muttered Dawn.
"Don't ya see? Yer husband got angry because she wouldn't show him that trick she learned from the colt. He set it up deliberately."
"I do admit my indirect fault on that count," said Dawn.
Melon sighed, turning to regard the colt seriously and meeting his gaze without the slightest twitch. "If that is the case, then I have no choice but to thank you from the bottom of my heart."
Silence descended on the scene as everypony stared aghast at Melon.
"Mom?" asked Scootaloo, staring up at her in disbelief, "What are you saying?"
Melon leaned down and nuzzled her daughter. "We're not going back to your father dear, ever. I've left him. We'll just have to get our own home and make our own life. But I cannot stay with him any longer, not after what happened."
"Hold on a second!" demanded Applejack, "That colt wrecked yer marriage and her thankin' him for it?"
"What this colt did was help my husband show his true nature. I have been living under a number of misconceptions ever since we were married. One of the worst was that, as a pegasus, my husband knew better about how to raise Scootaloo than I did. The truth of the matter was that Scootaloo was only a proxy to allow him make up for his perceived failures. He desperately tried to control Scootaloo's path through life, not because he thought it would be best for her, but because he wanted her to live out the life he wanted to, but couldn't. So he pushed all his expectations onto her and threw her away the moment she suggested she didn't want to live according to them."
Applejack opened her mouth to object. But Twilight was faster. Her horn flared, making the cage containing the orange mare flare as well. An instant later, Applejack's mouth was moving, but no sound was leaving the cage. Twilight let out a sigh. "I'm sorry about this Applejack, but you've been talking in circles. We've brought you irrefutable proof that your beliefs about Dawn are nothing but silly superstitions and you just ignore them As a friend, I really can't let you dig yourself any deeper than you already have."
She turned to Rainbow Dash. "Can you go get Big Macintosh? Somepony is going to have to take Applejack back to her farm and keep her there. Princess Celestia is going to be coming down to see Dawn in a short while and she will clear everything up."
"I'm on it," declared Rainbow before streaking away.
"Miss Twilight?" Twilight looked down to see Apple Bloom staring up at her in confusion. "Why is mah sister not listenin' to what yer sayin'? Ah don't get everythin' ya've been tellin' her, but Ah understand that she doesn't have a good reason to. So why?"
"Because..." It wasn't Twilight who answered, but Dawn. "...Because some ponies will cling to what they believe, even in overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Princess Celestia could shout the truth from the rooftops and they would ignore her because they don't want to endure the inconvenience of having to embrace the truth."
"Dawn's assessment of the issue, while bleak, is mostly accurate," admitted Twilight, with a pitying look at Applejack, who was glaring at her from the cage.
Apple Bloom looked nervously at her sister, who gave her a reproachful look before turning to regard Dawn, who merely eyed her warily. Slowly but surely, the yellow filly trotted over to the colt and slowly extended her hoof to him. "Hi. Ah'm Apple Bloom. Ah'm one o' Scootaloo's friends."
"One of my best friends," interjected Scootaloo from the sidelines.
Dawn slowly reached out his hoof and touched it to Apple Bloom's. "It's nice to meet you." The colt stole a glance at Applejack and felt a brief tremor of satisfaction surge through him as he saw the look of absolute rage on her face.
"Sweetie," whispered Rarity, "It's your turn to greet this nice gentlecolt."
Sweetie Belle trotted up a good bit more eagerly than Apple Bloom had and smiled widely at Dawn. "Hello. I'm Sweetie Belle. I'm a friend of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. It's really nice to finally meet you after all that Scootaloo's been saying."
"A pleasure," answered Dawn, nodding slightly.
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom stepped back, grinning as Scootaloo leapt between them. Dawn abruptly noticed all the adults in the vicinity covering their ears and briefly wondered why.
"Together, the three of us are..." proclaimed Scootaloo, grinning from ear to ear.
"THE CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS YAY!!!"
Dawn's eyes were spinning wildly in their sockets as he recovered from the painful, nearly deafening experience. "The Cutie Mark...Crusaders?" He asked looking from one filly to the other.
"That's right," said Apple Bloom eagerly, "The three of us got together when we realized we were all blank-flanks. So we decided to form a group and find our cutie marks together."
"Oh." Dawn was nonplussed by the whole situation.
"Since you don't have your cutie mark either, you should totally join us!" shouted Scootaloo eagerly.
"Yeah!" agreed the other two simultaneously.
"Hold on," interjected Twilight, "Dawn isn't going to be doing anything like that for a while. It's long past time we got him to the hospital so that his injuries can be treated properly."
"Um," murmured the colt uncertainly, "Do we really have to go there?"
Fluttershy gently nuzzled his mane. "It's alright Dawn," she said Softly, "You don't have to be afraid. I know that you'll be meeting a lot of other ponies, but I promise to stay with you the whole time. It'll be okay, you'll see."
Dawn swallowed and looked from Fluttershy to Applejack, who simply glared daggers at him, and back again. "I hope so."
Congratulations, you have made start hating my favorite pony. Seriously though this is a story that i get excited when i see it updated.
Applejacks farther was in the colt I think
I'm guessing
This chapter was SO satisfying
I just finish the last chapter and you literally post the new one. Damn you're fast.
I'm kinda glad that Dawn didn't beat Applejack up, only because he showed that he was the bigger pony in the matter, getting Scootaloo out of the way of Applejack's reckless assault but taking the hit in the process. He could've won the fight, busted up Applejack like there was no tomorrow, but this outcome is better imho.
But I swear, Applejack's recklessness was going get an innocent pony killed in her pig headed, self righteous crusade.
hmm it's a good thing he's got 5/6 of the elements on his side. I'm thinking Applejack might find some Cult sympathizers in Ponyville which might give Shining a hard time protecting the colt. I'm liking it! Although anyone who's favorite pony is Applejack might have some reservations.
Can't wait to see which background ponies turn out to be secret cult members. Thank you so much for the fast updates. This is like getting a book from a favorite author and then being forced to read only one chapter a day. Frustrating, but leaving you wanting more so very badly.
When main characters get injured it makes the story 20% cooler then it was before the injury!
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agreed neerg nerrad
Riku that is so funny i wish i could have seen your reaction
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that sadly does ever so sadly
Cut loose against somepony? If it is ot applejack then it is probably scoot's dad
3...2....1.......... BA-BOOOOOOM!!!!! Amazing chapter, keep goin and stay golden^^
I knew my what if AJ hurts Dawn theories were right! But, I knew if she did, her friends would totally "tune her out." I just didn't think it in the literal sense too I can't wait for the next one.
Well its time i add a t.qkme.me/3uhcom.jpg
I love this soooooooooo much I have been wrapped up in reading this all day and and and excitedly anticipating how this will end keep up the amazing work
AJ needs to get her head out of her father's ghostly ass.
MOAR!
Applejack, though stubborn, is still quite the reasonable pony. She's shown multiple times in the show that she can get full of herself, but she always sees the error of her ways before long. As such, I feel you've been a bit hard on her these last few chapters. Sure, in the heat of the moment, she could deny evidence, but this is starting to get ridiculous. Hopefully a night with her thoughts will let her see that her beliefs are flawed. That would be enough for me, but if she doesn't, my suspension of disbelief might start getting a bit thin if she's presented with all this evidence. (If it's already written to the contrary, you could add some reasonings and rationalization going on inside AJ's head to let us know why she's being so stubborn.)
Bleh. Touch screens. I need a new keyboard.
Anyway, critique of the previous chapter go!
I really liked how you had so much going on in chapter 10. It made things tense as the different story threads acted independently and because of each other until they finally wove together in this chapter. That was skillfully done. I applaud you.
Dialogue was keen in both chapters and it never felt as if some pony was or wasn't saying something out of character. That bit with rainbow while scoots and melon were hugging is a good example of that. So many people see the mane six just as they appear on the surface, but you're pretty good at getting them down (minus the whole applejack thing obviously. You've yet to sell me on that.)
That short fight sequence was well done as well (both now that I remember the brief interlude with RD and cirrus), though they were a bit vague for my tastes. Writing fight sequences for ponies is tricky, and I've yet to reach a battle in my own story where magic is not involved, so I can't speak from experience. However, when Cirrus charged rainbow, she deliver a couple of jabs to "halt his progress." How did she do this? What exactly did she hit? A charging pony's most vulnerable point would be the head, but I don't think rainbow would go for that. Instead she'd go for the chest, but then she'd have to let him get closer so that his face was right on her. I still bought the fight, but I trust you see the problem.
Ugh I think that's everything. A lot of what I said was constructive criticism and seemed negative. Don't get me wrong. I still love this story. I just want it to be the best it can be.
Thumbs so tired...
2925866 Never underestimate the power of blind devotion (more on that next chapter). Although, I do admit that I also felt like I was stretching Applejack's character a fair bit. Fortunately, I hope that the next chapters might go towards mending that.
I'll take your advice for the fight scenes into consideration. I'll probably wait until I've finished posting the rest of the chapters for this story (being part one of three so far) before going back and doing some more polishing.
I appreciate your critique as it really helps me get a sense of where I could be improving in my writing.
I love how fast this get's updated
OMG the authors note is so halarious
Applejack...
I love infodumps....i am weird
3004817 I completely agree with you. But I'm the sort of person who loves reading textbooks. Does that make me weird too?
Dude, there is nothing in existence that can prepare for a first encounter of Pinkie Pie. At all. That's like preparing for really loud music with the volume on supersonic and your ear is next to the speaker. Surround sound.
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Ear plugs. Your argument is invalid.
I could never live with Applejack if she killed Dawn and got away with it.
I am really beginning to hate Applejack right now. How can she be so fucking stupid?
I have to say, this is my second time reading this, and i'm in a kind of love/hate relationship with the whole AJ situation, it definetively adds to the story, but at the same time makes me dislike AJ, which is a bit uncomfortable seeing as she's a main six. still a great story, even as a reread.
I'm starting to get one of my sneaking suspicions so I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that Applejack's dad was a Cult Solar member, I'm probably not right but if I am then I will be amazed.
Yay for re-readability. Also, I hear a bunch of sirens outside so I can't sleep.....
Three cheers for the inability to sleep!
EDIT:
I wasn't been a dick, I promise. I was legitimately happy to have an excuse to re-read this.
3050354 I know what you mean
Oooh...low blow
Not to take a shot at something I know next to nothing about, but this sounds a lot like something a deeply religious person would say, in Applejack's case.
You're a good writer, I've particularly liked all of the scenes with Scootaloo, but this is where I stop reading. See, I kept on reading after what I felt was an egregiously out of character AJ back when she attacked a child unprovoked because he had eyes like Nightmare Moon. She didn't react 1/48 that bad to the appearance of the ACTUAL Nightmare Moon. She didn't try to kill Zecora either.
I can see where you're coming from, I do, but these last events haven't just stretched my disbelief, they have snapped it. I don't want to even hear explanations we've gone so far off track in my estimation. She doesn't seem like Applejack at this point but a vehicle for the ideas you want to get across, which would be fine in an original work, but it's not so great when you have to maintain an established character. We've gone a door beyond absolution at this point. There's no redemption or reason you can give that would justify anyone even speaking to AJ again that isn't her family. I had a friend once of 15 years; we did everything together. The best friend a guy could ask for. He hospitalized his wife for basically nothing. I don't really speak to him anymore. The kid I grew up with is gone. The guy I helped cope with the abuse his own father gave him is gone. The person I thought I knew doesn't and perhaps never existed. That's the level of transgression being committed here.
Like I said at the start, I think you're a good writer, and I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed Scootaloo's home life, the pressures surrounding it, and even Cirrus. Seriously, the "My roof, my food, my money, my taxes, don't speak to me that way bit may as well have been verbatim from my childhood. Hit the nail on the head there. I just feel we have differing views on characterization and this is where I step off the ride.
Also, I kind've felt weird about Dawn. You did a good job portraying his reasons for being so withdrawn and controlled, but abused kids still act like kids in my experience. He came across more like a cynical adult, which might have been relevant or intentional, but I occasionally found it off putting.
4780695 I think Applejack is acting that way because her father was a member of the cult solar. He probably brainwashed Applejack from an early age that ponies like that were evil.
O_O WAT?
delete
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Not even having a daily brunch with Discord, could prepare one to deal with the enigma that is Pinkie Pie. Something in this multiverse one just can fully prepare for.
Who here thinks that AppleJack's father was part of the cult of solar?
5082653 And that is why the fic where pinkie pie is a planeswalker, creator of plane Ungula(home of planet equus), and technically mother of Discord and grandmother of the princesses(as they were born by the act of creation), and ensurer of her own existence makes so much sense to me.
(Elementals Of Harmony, everyone)
Just... Applejack. APPLEJACK, LET THE GREAT AND POWERFUL CELESTIA PUNISH YOUR UNNECESSARY ACTIONS.
HOLY ****. This is like watching one of those soap-box dramas. MUST HAVE MORE!
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT AJ u pissing me off
5136708 I CALLED IT! IM KEEPING MY 1000 BITS BET!!
She kinda trotted into that one.
Aj = cough cough religious cough
I hate racism. I love racist jokes, but I hate racism. Is that wrong?
So, definitely enjoying this story so far, but if AJ doesn't end up going to jail for this little escapade, I'm going to have some serious suspension of disbelief issues. Regardless of the possible differences between ours and the Equestrian justice system, assault and battery of a minor and attempted murder are pretty universally serious crimes. If/when AJ realizes the error of her ways, this isn't something an apology and some community service are going to take care of. I suppose I'll have to read on to find out how you handle the aftermath of her actions.
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"However, when Cirrus charged rainbow, she deliver a couple of jabs to "halt his progress." How did she do this? What exactly did she hit? A charging pony's most vulnerable point would be the head, but I don't think rainbow would go for that. Instead she'd go for the chest, but then she'd have to let him get closer so that his face was right on her. I still bought the fight, but I trust you see the problem."
Hmm....pressure points? IDK, maybe Rainbow learned that.