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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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awesome chapter man!! can't wait to help you on the next, i enjoy your story, you get a 'lestia and moustache for this one (11/10)
first comment on the chapter
Me likey!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DAT ASS.
i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/228/dat.jpg
Also, I'm jealous of the number of words you're publishing: 8000 bucking words!! I barely can go over 1800!!
And, I say Spike will turn into Bear Grylls!!
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/097/550/JUST-DRANK-MY-OWN-PISS-BETTER-DRINK-MY-OWN-PISS.jpg
Go for it!! There WILL be water shortage!!
celestia, the spike nudging your ass will be least of your butt's worry in three weeks.
You may want to fix that, it took me five mins to figure out that that was a grammar error. Otherwise, nice chapter.
Oh, there's one type
Yeas, you know that ALL of your proofreaders like this one. Especially me right?
JKs, but hey. Mistakes happen. Just please don't forget me next time, PLEASE?
I really liked this chapter. Both Spike and Celestia are attached to each other. However, Spike doesn't know about his REAL purpose here. I look forward to more.
What's this? An abundance of character development in an M rated ship?! My briefcase full of bees ought to put a stop to that!
i.imgur.com/XbXHkuM.gif
It's nice to see that the two of them can successfully quash any....uncouth feelings enough to figure out their first obstacle....and the removal of clothing is slowly but surely beginning....
You know, at times, I forget that the pony in here is Celestia, and not Twilight, based on how she is acting....and it is right adorkable. And Spike is becoming into more of a bit of a valueable partner (if he wasn't one already).
I'm glad that they have discovered so far that they haven't encountered anything that could be harmful to them. BTW, it is quite creative on how to solve problem number one, essentially wiping out any instant "god-like" solutions (no deus ex machina--yay ) We know both are intelligent, I can't wait to see what else Spike and Celestia run into.
I want more!!!
2903464 Celestia's ass and tits are so big that they can kill someone
and reanimate the dead.
For example. ( I love Soul Eater)
Really, awesome chapter, also can't wait for the next one, looking forward for this.
Keep up the good work.
Now where have I heard that line before?
MOAR!!!!
2903566
This got a giggle out of me. Congrats.
Really, really, REALLY awesome arcs we got going here
Glori-ass! Hahaha, so true, so very true.
Great chapter! Hope the next one is soon.
such a awesome chapter!!!!! You really know how to make long chapter worth reading in my opinion. Can't for the next chapter
Yes, an update! Great chapter, and I find it funny how Spike is beginning to have thoughts about Celestia.
I wonder how he'll react when he learns he can (more like has to ) do those things to her.
Keep up the good work!
You know, Celestia really wan't prepared for this at all.
"hooked her hooves together"
"hoof it"
" his hands"
Do they have hands, and then instead of feet hooves?
"Since when did Spike work out?"
He ambidextrously masturbates
2903464
ppffft I have read chapters that are 18k and 30k words
thebuzzcandy.com/images/products/detail/3724.1.JPG
I could be wrong but i thought Spike didn't know what he was smacking with his tail while he was ... trapped.
Anyway really enjoying this so far.
2904840
That... actually would make sense, when you think about the fact that magic can do some crazy things... like make plants grow candy like berries. Or make plants that try to pull a soviet joke.
"In soviet Russia, plant eats pony!"
2904732
Same. I love seeing the progression here.
P.S. Someone needs to make an epic landscape of Spike and Celestia on the thorn wall! Please
Im enjoying this story and how you took what sounded like a quick couple thousand word concept and added a decent amount of depth into it. However if I could interject with one criticism...JUST BUCK ALREADY!
Now too wait another 8 days, after having taken notice of the pattern for each new chapter's release.
Nice chapter, man.
Spike must worship her divine ass
Spike... If you only knew what 'wood' she wanted...
Trying so hard not to facepalm...
At least he's starting to pick up on the cues she's giving. Or the pheromones are kicking into overdrive with Celestia.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I hope this means that you're still working on Dragon's Journey...Please?
2903763 I forgot blair did that. that was a very lucky man
2906573 That man was a lucky bastard.
2906195 Of course! That, and White Squall too. I've taken up writing those chapters on this chapter's proofreader downtime, as a way to be more productive. Expect a chapter from one of them within a few days.
2906652 the only men in anime who have more luck then him are Rito from to-love-ru and issei from highschool dxd.
2906675
2906726 Agreed.
This story has developed enough for me to give it a favorite and a like! Give me more!
I'm curious whether You'll have Celestia fall in Love with Spike or have her hang him out to dry
Well, you're definitely pacing yourself. Could definitely do with a little more general smuttiness to balance out the logistical and expository bits. It's pretty good so far, but for this chapter at least, this was the reading experience in a nutshell:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llmteqHx0A1qafrh6.png
2906726 there is one who surpasses both of them. Ikuto from Nagasarete Airantou
I've always believe you have great talent for transition chapters. I still believe it. But seriously dude, you really don't need to remind us so much how heavenly hot Celestia is. Specially because you're going to tell us all over again once she and Spike get down to business.
And no offense, but you're leaving a lot of things to the suspension of disbelief... I'm not sure if that's how they call it in english.
Well isn't that... a convinient turn of events, to say the least.
Didn't you say Spike didn't know what was he slapping? And if he knew: What the hell is wrong with him? Didn't it cross his mind that he could hurt her? Or maybe he did it on purpose?
I disagree.
But as a whole a much better chapter that proves the Force is still with you. For a moment I thought you've lost it.
I'm going to be honest and play devil's advocate here: Celestia is completely out of character. She's acting like a schoolgirl who just discovered boys, not a demigod with millenia of experience and powers beyond mortal comprehension. She is, in a word, helpless. I know there are in-universe reasons for nerfing her powers, but it's fridge logic at best.
And speaking of fridge logic, there's quite a bit of it all around, not just with Celestia. For example, the river. How is it cold enough to induce hypothermia, but still warm enough for mangroves and sharks, which thrive in tropical climates? And the thorn wall: why is it there? Why do they promptly forget about it after crossing over?
I could go on, but I think you get the idea.
2910832
under most circumstances I would agree with you but your forgetting that this is a writers interpretation of a a character and thats not wrong there is a difference between environmental settings facts and character attitude so I think its acceptable.
2905906
AAAAAnd failing
2911814
Sounds about right.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2911702
Considering that you also also think a complete lack of punctuation is acceptable, that doesn't count for much.
Writers' interpretations and artistic creativity are not free passes to completely destroy the established, canon qualities of a character.
2911702 my thoughts exactly! i hate it when people say they're not in character. Why do they have to be? this isn't the fricking show, it's a FAN FICTION!
2911963 I'm sorry, but considering this Celestia has hands, breasts, and walks upright, I think I can have a little leeway with how a character acts. Also, did you not notice the Alternate Universe tag?