Friends Forever
Friends Forever
Written by DashieWashie
Princess Twilight Sparkle gently glided down onto her balcony. It had been a long day. Twilight sat back on her haunches and watched the sky. Night was just beginning to fall, and a golden hue was spreading across the sky like paint dripping down a canvas, staining the puffy clouds with a crimson tint. It was truly the most beautiful part of the day. Twilight breathed in the cool evening air with relish as she tried to clear her mind of her stressful day. There had been horrible days in Twilight's past before, sure. She had to deal with a boastful braggart, a scheming element of chaos, and more than one corrupted princess. She had always found the solution to her problems, though. That wasn't something she could do now. There was nothing she could do now. Twilight shut her eyes tightly and sighed in despair. The solution had been so easy before. A obstacle had come in her way, and she had always used the same thing to magically eradicate the issue. She had used... friendship. Twilight shut her eyes tighter, slightly gritting her teeth. "Princesses don't cry, Twilight. Keep it together." Twilight's cold inner voice of logic and reason fought with her emotions as she stared up at the now colorful sky. The bright orange light of the setting sun threw its light onto everything, and the sky went from a cheerful radiant yellow, to a melancholy dark blue, to a star-speckled and comforting black. Twilight wiped her eyes with her hoof, still battling to keep herself together, even during this rare private moment alone. Her lavender eyes were still wet as she allowed her mind to return to the day.
She had arrived at Fluttershy's cottage at half past two. Accompanied by her own set of royal guards, Twilight gingerly stepped out of her carriage. She didn't know how she could handle this again. She gave the word to the guards to block the entrance ways from prying, intruding eyes. This was her moment with Fluttershy. She knew it would be the last time. She stepped into the dimly lit cottage and met the eyes of three of her old friends. Rainbow Dash peeked out from behind her dulled rainbow mane, eyes bloodshot. Her face was plastered with tears, each wrinkle in the mare's face glistening with moisture. Pinkie Pie stepped up to greet her silently. Her mane was flat, and even grayer than when she had last seen her. Ever since she had lost the energy to party, Pinkie never really was the same. A faltering half-smile flickered across her face for a fraction of a second, before her face drooped back into a dejected frown. Applejack was sitting next to a small bed covered in various colorful quilts. They all looked hoof-stitched, with the utmost of care taken to sew each soft square into the next with perfect accuracy. Applejack didn't even look up as Twilight gently pulled away the covers, too proud to show her tears.
"Fluttershy?" Twilight had said quietly, taking care not to frighten the frail old mare. Fluttershy slowly looked up, carefully re-positioning herself on her mound of blankets and sheets. Fluttershy smiled lightly. Twilight noticed a glazed look in her friend's eyes that had not been there went they had went to Rarity's funeral.
"Twilight..." Fluttershy whispered in a wispy and fragile voice. It hadn't changed a bit. Twilight smiled tearfully, a mix of delight at seeing her friend and utter devastation at her condition. "Twilight, please... give me your hoof..." Fluttershy felt around the bedspread haphazardly, searching for any sign of her friend. With horror, despair, and a choked cry, Twilight realized Fluttershy had gone blind. Twilight clasped her friends hoof gently and saw Fluttershy's tiny smile of relief. "How's... being a princess, Twilight?..." Fluttershy asked.
"It's... It's... fine." Twilight stared into Fluttershy's face, studying every curve and bump like it was a particularly fascinating book.
"Twilight... I need to tell you...something..." Fluttershy's gentle smile slipped a notch as she used her failing energy to speak.
"Anything, Fluttershy." Twilight grasped her hoof tighter and sat back on her haunches on the floor. "Twilight, I wanted to thank you..." Fluttershy suddenly erupted into a coughing spell, in which Applejack finally rose with a glass of ice water. She gently placed it to Fluttershy's lips and tipped the cup. Fluttershy thankfully accepted the drink, finally settling down again.
"Thank you..." Fluttershy's voice was starting to waver. "Twilight... I know I don't have much time left..."
"No Fluttershy, don't say that!" Twilight almost shouted, her tears intensifying.
"Twilight... I know." Fluttershy let the silence hang in the room, attempting to convey herself. "I wanted to thank you for... your friendship. You helped me see that I had... a special place. I wasn't a doormat, I had real strength." Fluttershy broke into a prideful smile. "Yes, I used to doubt myself. But you..." Fluttershy paused for a moment. "You showed me magic. The magic I had in myself. You changed my life, Twilight. And, I can't thank you enough for that." Fluttershy smiled brightly. Twilight now had tears of joy streaming down her cheeks as well as ones of heartbreak.
"Fluttershy, I should be thanking you. Without you, without any of you," Twilight looked around the room at her friends. "I would still be a lonely student up in Canterlot. I owe you my entire life. We solved every problem, we triumphed over forces of evil... all with our friendship." Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash smiled the first sincere smiles that Twilight had seen in a long time. Applejack stood up and sat next to Twilight in silence. "Applejack?..." Applejack threw herself onto Twilight, bawling loudly into her shoulder. Twilight gasped in surprise, but then returned the hug. Pinkie and Rainbow walked over slowly and joined in the hug. Twilight gently pulled in Fluttershy, who felt for Twilight's shoulders and hugged them gently. "We are the Elements of Harmony... and nothing will ever change that."
And gently, just like everything else she did in her life, Fluttershy buried her face in Twilight's coat, smiled her last smile, and died in the arms of her very best friends.
The sun had slipped past the green hills of Ponyville and the thick carpet of trees that made up the Everfree Forest. The sky's vibrant hues had died down, and were all blending into the same black of the night. More stars began to sparkle brightly, and filled the black expanse of the sky with pinpricks of gorgeous diamonds. Twilight felt like she could sit on her balcony forever, but a cold chill began to roll in. She knew a storm was approaching. She dragged her hooves inside her spacious bedroom adorned with long bookshelves and desks. Twilight was about to fly up to her bed, ready for a sleepless night, went she passed her old desk from the Ponyville library. Before she could stop herself, she found herself in front of it. Just like before. Twilight gently felt the now rough texture of the old wooden desk, remembering the countless scrolls she had written to Celestia on it. She opened the creaky drawer and found a organized supply of quills, ink bottles, and empty scrolls, all sitting there, waiting for her. Twilight suddenly felt a powerful urge to write something. She needed to write a friendship letter. Twilight carefully levitated a quill and scroll. She didn't know what she was going to say, but she felt like she needed this right now. She started it out in the usual way.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned a very hard lesson about friendship. I learned that friendship isn't about keeping up with your friends (no matter how much you want to). Friendship is about learning that you aren't always going to be with your friends. But friendship is about quality, not quantity. So, if a friend ever leaves you, you shouldn't be sad about it all the time. You have to remember all the great times you had with them, and never forget that you will be friends forever.
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle
Twilight put down the quill with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. "Fluttershy and Rarity will always be here. They will be in my heart, and that all anyone can really ask for." Twilight said out loud. Twilight flew up to her bed and settled down peacefully, remembering all the great times she had with Fluttershy, with all her friends, and soon she fell asleep in utter exhaustion. She had thought after she had become a princess, she wouldn't need friendship lessons anymore. But tonight, she had learned the greatest lesson of all.
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I will admit I did not read the story (explained below), so I cannot judge its content. Regarding structure, however:
1) On the internet, the preference is for paragraphs to be separated by a blank line. If you do not do this, many people will skip your fic on account of it being a "wall of text."
2) New paragraph, new speaker.
I skipped your story on account of point 1, so I cannot say anything more.
2829090
I tried to fix it, hopefully it looks better now.
Thanks for the constructive criticism! I must admit I have little to no knowledge on how to set these things up correctly
2829149
Point 2 is fixed, point 1 remains.
Not having written on this site, I don't know how to ensure a line break. You would need to find that out on your own or find somebody willing to help you by being an editor.
2829291
To be honest, I don't completely know what you mean by having the paragraphs "separated by a blank line" (but that's probably me being dense) and me being so new, i doubt i would be able to find an editor easily... Thanks again for your help
2829358
This is bad.
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
This is good.
Paragraph 1
Paragraph 2
2829610
Okay, I think it's pretty much fixed now. Thanks a lot for your help!
I'm seriously hurting right now, nice job!
"content relish" sounds really awkward.
Avoid using numbers; use words instead.
This would probably flow better as "Rainbow Dash peered out from behind her dulled rainbow mane, eyes bloodshot."
When, not went.
I think you mean Canterlot, unless this is some kind of AU.
that's, not that.
and soon..., not that soon...
-----
When you have a split quote i.e. "Speech" stuff "speech," unless the first speech section ends with a ?, !, or ..., always end the first section with a ","
You also still have a few paragraphs that don't have the extra line of white space between them.
Overall, it's okay. I personally don't like it enough to favorite or give it a thumbs up, but I also don't think it's bad enough to give it a thumbs down. The main problem (no fault of your own) is that this theme has been done to death, and so I'm jaded to it.
2830708
On account of this theme being done to death, I totally agree with you. But for my first fic, I wanted to do something a little easier. Also, since there haven't been any new MLP episodes in a while, and there was no way I was making a OC fic, I just went with this. Thanks again for the help!
Most of the little spelling errors and stuff have been fixed, thanks for pointing them out! But on account of the ending, yeah I know, it's pretty sappy. But, it was really the only way to wrap it up correctly. I couldn't just not leave anything there, because then Twi's last dialogue line would be pretty empty and not really satisfying... What I'm trying to say is I tried.
2830592
Thank you!
and starts crying before finishing reading the title