• Published 18th Feb 2012
  • 23,503 Views, 1,896 Comments

My Little Naruto: Friendship is--WHERE AM I!? - DragonLS

Naruto's life is given a second chance in the world of ponies... beyond his will.

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CH2: A Bone to Pick With

Special Thanks To:

Editor: DaMobbs

Proofreader & Pre-Reader: Axel_Nyan


Trust is sacred, trust is golden

Misplace that trust, you have fallen

Foolish thinking, foolish death,

For you have breathed your very last breath

But do not worry, all is not lost

For another chance is here

…At a ridiculously weird cost


Chapter 2: A Bone to Pick With

It was cold… very cold. It felt like that of a blustery winter night. It went straight through your clothes and chilled you to the very bones.

That’s all he could feel.

Naruto could feel himself floating. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, but merely floated in the endless abyss. He could still think, but all that came to mind was the cold. The damnable cold. All he knew was that he was floating in nothingness. He didn’t care. Or at least, he couldn’t, with all his feelings sucked away from him. He was a nothing... a complete and utter nothing.

At least, that’s what he assumed until he stopped floating and fell onto something really hard. Suddenly, Naruto could think, feel, and even see. But he couldn’t see himself. Try as he might, he couldn’t see any limb or part of his body. All he could see was a trail of white, where his feet should be. Naruto was confused at this turn of events.

Where was he? Then, something happened. A brief flash of shadowy light exploded in front of Naruto. He couldn’t squint, for he had no eyes, or eyelids for that matter. He just simply “took in” the sight for what it was; A black, robed... thing. His robes were torn from place to place, with a black hood covering his face entirely. Bony fingers, bony feet, and a huge tome rested in his bony hands.

If Naruto could piss himself in horror, he would, but he was still nothing but a bunch of white smoke. Stupid smoke. The bony, robed figure slowly walked towards Naruto, taking his book out from under his arm. He opened it absently, as if this was just a normal part of his day, and mumbled quietly to himself.

“Hmmm… Naruto, Naruto… Letter N… Hmm, yes, here we go…” The bony figure said in a deep, dark baritone voice. It would shake anyone to the bone (Ba bump dump ching) if one would ever hear it. He pointed his right index finger at a seemingly random spot inside his book. “Page 490,558,693,948,586, Naruto Uzumaki, Age 16… or was it 17? Hrm, damn accountants, using erasers and such to change ones information,” The figure muttered to himself. “They don’t make my job easy anymore like it was ages ago… So many deaths, yet it was much more efficient… Hrm…”

Naruto could only stand there as the bony man looked up the information in his dusty, old tome.

The bony man only shrugged in frustration. “Ah, well, whatever. How you died is what mattered, anyway…”

The words hit Naruto like a sledgehammer to the nuts. Died? Him, dead? Naruto was dead? He couldn’t believe it. He wanted to yell out in agony on how much bullshit it was, but he couldn’t make a peep. The bony man looked up from his book, seeing the white figure of Naruto shift from side to side, as if it was having an angry spasm. The bony man only shook his head.

“Yes, you’re dead. Like gaijllions of others have realized. Get used to it. I’m tired of seeing you pesky souls throw such a fit about it. It’s not that bad, honestly. Especially when I, Death himself, have to take care of you piles of smoke and souls… Yet it only makes my job harder with the higher ups, the bastards…” said Death as he scratches his head with a bony tipped finger. “Now, sit still so we can confirm your cause of death.”

Naruto still couldn’t believe it. He was dead... and the Grim Reaper himself, a.k.a. Death, is looking up his information. Is this what happens to people who die? They appear in a sea of darkness and nothing and then get looked up like it’s some damn bank? The fact that he was a soul didn’t help matters either. He had so much to live for. Hinata, Kakashi, the old bat of a Hokage… He was dead, and he probably would never see them again.

“Ah, yes, hum hum, your cause of death.” Death said out loud. Naruto snapped out of his reverie, bringing his full attention, grudgingly, to Death.

“Hmm… well now. Seems like you died of major poisoning to the stomach and heart… good choice. At least in terms of a slow and painful death. You’ve even had some previous near-death experiences, too… very interesting…” Death closed his book with a sharp thump, and looked at Naruto’s soul. “Very foolish of you to drink something that could kill you. I mean, what were you thinking? Something so vile and disgusting looking, and yet, you didn’t even think twice about it. When I was your age, back when cavemen and dinosaurs existed, I know there was—“

Naruto couldn’t hear him anymore. He tuned him out to try and sift through his own memories. It came back to him now. Pain. He was writhing in pain on his hard wood floor, and the cause had to be that vitamin thingamabob the alchemist gave him. How could he have been so foolish? Why wasn’t he suspicious of him from the start? But did it even matter anymore? Yes and no... He wanted revenge, but since he was dead, there wasn’t any point.

“…and that’s how I ended up getting a horse and a caveman hitched. It was an experience that was insulting, and a mental image I’ll never be able to erase from my skull. I hope you’re happy with the story, cause I’m not.” Naruto stared at Death again, his attention finally gravitating back towards the reaper. Death tilted his head before shaking it in disappointment.

“Not listening, hmm? Well, anyway, you’re in purgatory right now. I hope you’re happy, because people that normally die get sent straight to heaven or hell immediately. No second chances. However…” Death said, walking towards Naruto’s soul. “There are… special cases. Ones that have proven themselves worthy, one way or another…” He said as he poked Naruto’s soul where his heart would be. Naruto felt nothing.

“What? Still not simple enough to understand? Kids these days...” Death bent down to eye-level, at least where the eyes would have been, before continuing, “There’s a chance for you to live again. A reincarnation, if you will.”

This brought Naruto’s attention fully on Death. A way to be alive again? There was such an option? If Naruto still had feelings and limbs, he would jump for joy. Of course, he could do no such thing. He settled for shifting his corporeal body side to side. Death nodded.

“Yep. There is a way just for someone as ‘special’ as you. You have to complete two tasks, The first task, is probably the hardest out of the two. I’m warning you now. Be prepared, for there are NO second chances...

He closed the book, which dissolved into black smoke, leaving his hands together, palms facing each other. He opened them once more like a book and in its’ place was an orb of light. It gave off light similar to that of a prism, rainbows dancing inside as if trapped. He closed his left hand, and the ball disappeared into his bony clutch. He placed his hands behind his back and shuffled around a little before bringing both hands back in front, each hand a fist.

“Pick the correct hand, and you win the lifetime of… life, I suppose.”


Naruto couldn’t help but think that the skeleton was a few bones short an actual skeleton. Death was, literally, gambling with Naruto’s ticket out of here. But if it was his chance of being alive again, he would have to play along with it. He didn’t have much else to lose… except the chance at life again. Naruto’s soul shifted from side to side, unsure which hand it was in. He had a 50/50 chance, so it was all a matter of luck... Then again, when was the last time he had a stroke of good luck? The more he stared at the bony hands, the more he couldn’t decide. That is, until he saw a small glimmer of light in one of Death’s hands. There! That hand! Naruto shifted his soul to the right, trying to ‘sign language’ Death into choosing the right hand. He looked at his right hand, bringing it up in front of Naruto’s soul.

“You choose this one? Move your soul around if you say yes.”

Naruto shifted around anxiously, confirming it.

“Too bad.” He opened his hand revealing a small, shiny coin. “Not the ball of light, you lose, thanks for playing!”

Despair. That was what Naruto felt at that very moment. He was tricked. That shimmer was a false lead, playing off his uncertainty perfectly. He lost. Plain and simple. He began to disappear, slowly fading into nothing as the white mist that was his soul dispersed into the surrounding nothingness. But then, he heard something very peculiar. Laughing. Naruto looked up at Death, expecting him to be laughing at his expense. Apparently, he was... but for a different reason.

“Mmpphahah, hoo boy, that gets them souls going every time… The ol’ ‘shining the coin trick’ ahahah… ah… that was a good laugh. Needed that... You’re gonna be alive no matter what happens anyway, can’t let an opportunity like that pass me by, know what I’m saying?” Death said with an amused look.

Naruto wanted to kill him now. He didn’t care. He just wanted to kill him for mocking his very being. However, being a soul, his options were severely limited to that of either bobbing and weaving or standing still. Oh how he wanted hands and feet, just to take care of funny bones...

Death stopped joking around and just waved his laughter off.

“Hoooo… Okay then. Anyway… I believe it’s time to get this underway… Ah, that’s right. There’s one more loose end. It’s about your hotel guest that was inside that swirly stomach thingy. A seal, you humans call it, I believe?”

Naruto looked back at Death. He knew about the Nine Tailed Beast? Wait… that’s right. If Naruto died, then the Nine Tailed Beast would be dead as well because the beast was connected with Naruto to begin with. Right?

“Well, as you can probably imagine, he’s dead. You’re dead, so he’s dead, as I’m sure you’ve figured out. His soul went off to some creature hell, or something like that. We, at the human embassy of death affairs, don’t account for creatures. You can see he’s not here with you, and such like that. However…” Death paused for a moment, summoning that book of his back with the snap of his fingers, before continuing in a merrier tone.

“It seems that some of his soul has mixed in with yours, which means an ‘essence’ of him is still inside you somewhere. I do not know the consequences of it still being with you, but I suggest caution, otherwise kid… You’re a vacant hotel. You’re free. Out of jail, all better in the hospital, no one poking you in the butt with a stick, or being someones sexual sl—“ He was going on and on and on trying to describe the situation as much as possible. Naruto just stared at a space above his right shoulder, waiting for him to finally stop.

“…or a dog on a chain, or a stripper bound by a contract, or a rapist who doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, or…” Death realized he was running his bony jaw off as he listed off so many things by now. He shook his head, clearing his throat to grab Naruto’s attention.

“…Anyway, in short, you’re your own person now.”

Naruto felt both happy and sad at the same time. He was finally rid of the fox, but at what cost? His death? Inside the smoke, his soul was trying to reason with itself at a hundred miles per hour. While on the outside, he stayed ever vigilant. The ultimate poker face, if you will.

Death wrote in his book, filling out the important details that were obvious with his mechanical pen. The pen had a skull on top and had a label on the back of the skull with ‘#1 Reaper’ inscribed in a flourish style of handwriting . It was kind of funny how Death would have a personal item like that. With the click of the pen, the tip went back inside and that was that. He made the book go poof with the snap of his fingers.

“Have a nice trip in your new life, kid,” he said while pulling the lever down.


Before Naruto could do anything, his world started to swirl in place. The darkness looked like a whirlpool with white mixed in, which slowly developed into the entire light spectrum from the reddest of reds to the violet-est of violet. He felt his mist form gravitate towards the center of the spinning vortex. As his soul was sucked in, the last thing he could remember was his soul shifting and turning as all the pretty colors made him lose consciousness, or whatever consciousness Naruto even had to begin with. Everything became blank, as all was consumed…


Later, in the Everfree Forest…

“Twilight, why are we in the Everfree Forest? This place gives me the creeps…”

“Because Spike, we need to get a certain kind of mushroom that grows only in this region for Pinkie Pie.”

“But does it have to be somewhere this creepy?”

…And a land with a very loud explosion.

The earth shook around a particular purple pony’s hooves and her baby dragon’s feet, the explosion no more than a few pony-lengths in front of her. However, it wasn’t just any kind of explosion. It was a big purple puff of smoke and light, expanding out as it dissipated out into the air. Twilight Sparkle, a unicorn, and Spike, the baby dragon, slowly moved towards ground zero cautiously, curiosity dominating any other instinct.

“Twilight, what was that!? It looked really dangerous!” Spike yelled as he tried to keep Twilight between him and direction the blast came from.

“I don’t know Spike, but we need to check it out.”

“I don’t know, I’d rather go home, Twi-oof!?” Spike lost his footing , tripping over something on the forest ground. Twilight turned back to see Spike on the ground, covered in dirt, a very displeased look on his face. He immediately got up and dusted off any dirt that covered him. As she checked to see if he was okay, she spotted a particular object on the ground; the very same object that Spike tripped over. She stepped around spike to get a better look, absentmindedly knocking spike over into the dirt once again.

“It’s the mushroom we’re looking for Spike! We found it!” She exclaimed with a smile. She turned towards Spike, who stared at her in disdain. “What? We found what we were looking for. Next time, watch where you step and you won’t get dirt everywhere.”

Spike opened his mouth in protest before sighing in defeat, not even trying to argue. He grudgingly caught up to Twilight, pressing forward towards the explosion, eagerly wanting to show her up in some way, shape, or form.

“I thought he said he wanted to go home, not check out the explosion... I’ll never understand him…” She sighed and raced off toward him.

What they saw near the treeline was a sight to behold. There was still some purple smoke lingering around a certain point. The purple fog lifted slowly until... a stallion came into view.

The light yellow colored earth pony stallion had a head full of blond hair that went all the way down to his ears, and all the way down his upper back, a mane, if you will. That wasn’t the strange part, though. He wore some rather strange clothing, an orange and black jacket, with some swirly patches on the shoulder areas. The stallion mumbled. It was very weak but that meant one thing. He was alive. Immediately, Twilight checked the mysterious pony, looking for any marks or injuries that might be life threatening. Thankfully, there were none. The purple unicorn lifted the stallion as gingerly as she could manage off the forest floor using her magic. She brought him close to her side and faced Spike, worry plain on her face.

“We have to get him back to Ponyville! C’mon, Spike!”