The Royal Guard mare, Jeannedarc, seeks a sword from a smith in Ponyville, only to meet her first human, and the relationship they share will enrich their lives in ways they never even dared to dream.
well this pretty well done, I always loved guard romance and thought I'm not a big fan of clop since it hasnt started yet, this story is reaaaallly good,
He chuckled softly at her eagerness. “All right then. First off, I wasn’t a blacksmith back on Earth, the world I’m from. It all started about six months after I started living here in Ponyville.” Galen began telling his tale, while pumping more air into the forge, augmenting the flames. Jeanne stood at a safe distance and clung to his every word, with the awe of a filly. * * * * The rest of the morning went by swiftly. Galen finished his tale, and Jeanne learned how he met Clang and expressed his fondness to the stallion for sword forging. She also learned that to Galen’s delight, Clang offer to give him a chance at becoming a blacksmith, making the human his apprentice.
Like, what the hell was that? You just gave some sort of reason for us to at least care a bit about who this Galen fellow is, and you just skipped it over. You had no exposition in the intro chapter, really, and then you gave little pieces of it, but you could've continued his "tale" rather than ending it like that. If he's going to say it later, then have him say "Well, now's not the time to be talking about it, really. Maybe later."
I am really liking how you are building up their relationship, at least its not one of those corny fics where its all, 'oh your pretty, I like you' 'I like you too, lets do it' That is just ridiculous, but here, you are doing a fine job and look forward to more of your story. Five out of five yay's for you.
Nicely done dude. I'm surprised that Galen hasn't thought of using human technology to make swords, things like: lathes, presses, belt sanders, band saws, etc.. Then again he might not have the cash to afford those tools, yet. Also when I think of current blacksmithing I think of this guy:
He has a channel where all he does is make fantasy weapons.
Skipping exposition is fine. However, you are correct that generally you don't want to lead into it with something like "Let me tell you my story..." then proceed to skip it. You're setting the reader up for the information, then abandoning them.
But anyway, exposition is usually expendable. It's no big loss.
What I'm more concerned with is the general lack of... well, anything in this story. There's no narrative arc, there's no conflict, there's no apparent attempt at character growth. Granted, this is only after two chapters, but at some point you have to ask yourself, "What is this story about?"
The story description ends with the question "Will Jeanne find a proper sword, and how will she react when the blacksmith introduces her to his skilled apprentice who happens to be a human?"
Apparently, the answers are 1) yes, and 2) she'll blush and act bashful.
Soo... I guess we're done? The story still says 'Incomplete,' though. Weird.
At first I was going to cry foul about the use of allayed, but after consulting Merriam-Webster's and a very ungodly amount of coffee I found I was wrong.
2828757 You're sorta right. It's a combination of lacking funds, plus Equestria doesn't have the same level of technology in all of its aspects the same as we do. Plus I just thought the more traditional style of sword forging would work well with this story.
Oh, and thanks for sharing that video. That's awesome!
2828899 Glad to hear it! Once I update Luna and Celestia's stories, more will be coming!
2828391 Off the top of my head, I can't remember anything about that sword specifically, but I do recall something about Viking swords.
2828270 Found and fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't realize I used the wrong one. I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter, when the time comes for its release.
2828873 I generally keep a browser window opened to dictionary.com as I write so I can check words if I'm not sure of their meaning or need to find synonyms.
2828615 Thank you! I don't like to rush romances too much, but at the same time, I know it's best not to drag things out too much either. Thanks for the yays!
2829104 Thanks for the tip. I was just going off my research. I do remember coolants other than water alone mentioned, such as oils or brine being used to quench metal.
2829173 Also remember that there are a lot of different hammers for forging and smiting, and if you integrate a Damascus steel blade I will provide a GIF that will make you laugh your socks off.
Ahh the history channel. I used to watch that all the time...buuutt then there was the whole Bigfoot, and the aliens, and then the like 10 shows about businesses in Vegas. Soo now I just don't watch tv anymore. Their specials though those are good.
I'm liking it so far, but I did spot one error right here:
“I have.” She looked over at the anvil and noticed what looked like a crudely formed sword. “Its that my sword?”
I believe you meant "Is that my sword?" But it's only a small nitpick. I'm liking the more relaxed pace of the romance here, it's more refreshing than the usual romance that just comes out of the blue.
2829159 In essence, it is a sword which was thought to have magical powers due to its ability to bend when used as a thrust weapon. Normal swords would break due to slag in the metal. The actual knowledge about crafting those weapons first came to Europe roughly 800 years after the swords were used in Europe.
2829238 There, it's been fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. If you're enjoy the relaxed pace of the romance you will certainly enjoy it as it continues in chapter 3 and in chapter 4, till things start getting a lot more serious leading into the first of the story's mature content.
Hello! This story is good. Very good. The pacing for the romance feels right and the worldbuilding feels right as well. I do however have a few opinions on stuff:
Firstly, you've tended to use italics too frequently.
"After giving it some thought, I don’t really have a favorite gemstone, but blue is my favorite color."
There was probably no need for that italics in there, among some other examples. It's not really emphasizing anything if there's a bunch of them, right? I just found them a bit distracting. Secondly, you get this fantastic buildup for Galen's background story... and it never shows up I'm sure you would've done that section well, and I regret that one of the characters (Jeanne) knows something us readers don't. Anyway, this is all opinion, but... tweakjustalittleplease
I must think of the Storm Wardens because Jeanne's cutie mark looks similar the chapter symbol of the Storm Wardens, a blue shield with a white lightning bolt.
I think I speak for everyone when I say kudos for actually doing some research. That takes effort (I'm in university; trust me, I know) and that deserves props. I don't think she's out of character at all either. Keep it coming but watch the pacing! We're all eager to see where this goes but that eventuality will be so much more satisfying if you really watch how events progress! Will continue to pay attention and have a fave and like!
I was wondering is the story already done and your just putting the chapters out every once in a while (or whatever) or are you still writing but you have several done in advance?
2831498 Thank you! I really put a lot of care and effort into making this story. There's still a long way to go. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg.
2831837 I have a few done in advance. Since my other stories have proven popular in the past, with this one I wanted to have a few done ahead of time. That way when I'm working on chapter 5, I can edit and post chapter 3, since it's already drafted. This way my readers don't have to wait too long for updates.
2833065 I've always found swords to be amazing weapons, and when the idea for this story came to me, I thought it'd be great to do some research on sword forging so I can offer a mostly believable experience for my readers.
2831251 It's my sincerest hope. We'll know when I add more chapters for sure. It should have a similar feel that my Luna and Celestia stories have, while still being a story of its own creation.
2831140 I wanted to offer a believable setting at a blacksmith's forge and I also wanted this to be more than just a simple clopfic. Even though Jeanne was originally intended for clopfics, I asked her creator if he'd mind me putting her in a romance, shipped with a human. Thankfully he didn't mind. The romance of this story should play out quite similar to my Luna and Celestia stories. They are both very popular, so I'm confident this one will follow suit. Plus even by the end of chapter 4 and the first clop scene, it's not even as over the top of mature scene as it could be. But I'm not going to spoil anything.
2830474 Once I update a few of my other fics: Luna and Celestia's, I'll be all too happy to add more to this tale. I was hoping I could make Jeanne and Galen's interactions enjoyable as well as believable.
2830441 You know you've joined others in liking what I hope will be a very good story when all is said and done. And I will be working on more of my stories, tonight even.
Ya know, after coming back and looking at this, 2828785 raises an EXTREMELY valid point.
Your writing is already rather cliched, humans meets pony, they nearly instantly fall in love. However, this time around, there's zero conflict or plot present here. In Luna's story, almost immediately some shadowy figures make themselves known. Celestia's story, she's trying to get away from the hassles of royalty. Here... Jeanne is looking to get a sword made...
You see how it's fallen / falling short? Honestly, without any further content [yet], this story is flimsy, at best right now. You've picked up a nice gathering of readers who simply read your content cause they enjoy the somewhat thinly veiled stories as they want the romance, but here, it's almost insulting with what has, or in this case, hasn't happened in the story.
Plus, looking back, your first chapter was rather low in terms of quality compared to your other works (or my eye has simply gotten more critical, could be a mix of both too) and honestly, it just isn't up to snuff. Awkward moments, exposition, skipping over exposition (let me tell you how I got here. Insert time skip. Hey readers, you don't need to know the backstory of this character! There's romance coming, that's all you should care about!) and just... yeah.
Sorry, but the more I think on this one and examine it, I can't help but think it's utter crap. Sorry Jaydex.
EDIT - Ch 3/4 might change my mind on this, but so far, all of this writing has been for naught.
>>Ignis Mortis et Doloris Damascus takes a hell of a lot more time to forge than just one night. Even then, it cant be true Damascus, because the methods of producing true Damascus steel were lost. Modern Damascus looks the same, but lacks the same chemical structure.
Sir Knight, I love how this new project of yours is coming along. This Galen character is done pretty well, and I love it's relaxing gentle pace so far, but I think my favorite part is this shy, but kind character of Jeanne. To some this might sound weird, but I seemed to have seen her personality ahead of time in the visual art...most specifically in the expression and hue of her eyes and the color and apparent softness of her hair. I remember reading somewhere that you "discover" her character through similar means, and after reading these two chapters, I must say with think along similar lines. She was just like I had imagined, and, just like i said above, her personality might be my favorite part of this so far. On another track...this work has been taking some fire and criticism. To which I say: Please don't be phased by these Chardonnay drinking Philistines. (I prefer to enjoy this sort of thing with an old Scotch.) You just keep this project on course. If you do, you will keep at least this reader very happy.
Sincerely and respectfully,
The Equestrian Ranger (Not affiliated with, related to, or even a fan of The Lone Ranger movie...God I hate these stupid re-makes!!)
2829104 oil, salt water and water were used to quench, depending on the desired result. can't remember which of the three was for blades, i think oil, not because water would crack the blade but because it gave more flexibility i think..
When you put down an unfinished blade, you place it in cold water, so you can re-heat it later. Thus tempered steel, which is stronger than non tempered steel.
The way the japanese did it, involved placing a hot blade in cold water, heating it up, folding the metal on itself, cooling, heating, folding, etc, upwards of 1000 times. I would imagine that european sword crafting is a similar technique.
Japanese swordcrafting was unique and vastly superior to any swordsmithing practiced in Europe, it's why katana's are so popular. quenching and tempering were restricted to finished products in europe(don't know about japan), the reason is that the quenching increases hardness and makes the metal more brittle. the tempering then reduces the hardness and in doing so makes it less brittle but you shouldn't heat it back to smithing temperatures! i don't know how the japanese got around it, but doing so would destroy the microstructure created by quenching and tempering the metal.(i don't know if this is resetting the metal to it's state before the quenching, i doubt it, it would however mean that you can continue smithing the blade without losing quality, but again i doubt this is the effect.)
2836162 Thank you for the comment and your support as one of my followers. Like you, Jeanne's personality is one of the things I love about her. She's a very incredible pony and her shy side really makes her something special. It's not easy to explain in a few words, hence the need for a story. Everything about her right down to her quirks makes her incredible, at least to me.
You're certainly right, like most of my stories, this one too is now taking a lot of flack. You know, I'm starting to get used it. Have no fear, this story and everything noted and not noted in the summary will continue as planned. A few malcontents will not deter me from doing what I love. While some may think this is proceeding without conflict or any plot, they just don't truly understand me of how I do my stories. There is so much more to this story and to come to this story, but I don't divulge everything right off the bat. I like to savor things when I write and move things along in my own way. The next two chapters will certainly move things forward in ways the doubters still probably won't approve of, but, I'm confident that readers like you will continue to enjoy it, just as I have.
I'm disappointed by this story so far. It's like a carbon copy of your other stories! The characters are always over polite, the men are always too perfect. They always act politely and marvel at their companions beauty every other paragraph (exaggeration). Why can't we have a male protagonist who has some inner demons and acts like a jerk. There's no life in the characters!
I had high hopes for this story, partly because of everything you've said about it and partly from my own interests in forging (being an apprentice myself). This isn't to say that I'll cease to read your stories or stop following you, but i had hoped that this story would be better.
Oh my god...that was...AMAZING!!! I am seeing the connecting even more I love love it and I dont think it is bad she is shy and bashful around him. I think that is sweet. I am the same way when I meet someone I like of course I am like that with my boyfriend hehehehe. I cannot wait for the Third chapter :3.
2838208 Three feet is the length of a yard stick plus a hilt. It's really not that big. Now if he were making her a sword like Sephiroth's from "Final Fantasy VII", which looks to be 4 - 5 feet long, or a two-handed sword like the berserker, Orson, from "Record of Lodoss War" used, which is easily five feet long or more, then I could see it being a bit long, mind you.
2839360 Thank you! I've found Jeanne's shy side to be a lot of fun to write about, and working out the interactions between them both has been equally enjoyable. Glad you're looking forward to chapter 3, it's only going to get better, and keep in mind, we've barely hit the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more coming to this story.
Oh, and before I forget, I like your avatar pic. Very cute.
I'm thinking more "Thats an awfully long, and thus heavy, sword for something that's maybe four feet tall to be attempting to wield with its mouth, or maybe its hooves if it's feeling fancy."
Why do you think Galen administered the test of her foreleg strength? It wasn't just so he could cop a feel of her hooves. It was to determine how heavy and how to balance the sword so it would be properly suited for her.
well this pretty well done, I always loved guard romance and thought I'm not a big fan of clop since it hasnt started yet, this story is reaaaallly good,
Found only one error tht I could tell.
In the muffin scene, you used the word "pealed" instead of "peeled"
A simple text search should help you pinpoint it.
Great chapter! Looking forward to seeing what comes next!
1st issue. You used Wiki for the research. Any professional would be appalled!
Good enough, somewhat cliched to your writings as far as the whole attraction thing, but I don't typically look too deep into it.
You skipped a chunk of exposition.
Like, what the hell was that? You just gave some sort of reason for us to at least care a bit about who this Galen fellow is, and you just skipped it over. You had no exposition in the intro chapter, really, and then you gave little pieces of it, but you could've continued his "tale" rather than ending it like that. If he's going to say it later, then have him say "Well, now's not the time to be talking about it, really. Maybe later."
Did you by any chance watch the documentary about the old viking sword "ULFBERHT"?
I am really liking how you are building up their relationship, at least its not one of those corny fics where its all, 'oh your pretty, I like you' 'I like you too, lets do it' That is just ridiculous, but here, you are doing a fine job and look forward to more of your story. Five out of five yay's for you.
Nicely done dude. I'm surprised that Galen hasn't thought of using human technology to make swords, things like: lathes, presses, belt sanders, band saws, etc.. Then again he might not have the cash to afford those tools, yet. Also when I think of current blacksmithing I think of this guy:
He has a channel where all he does is make fantasy weapons.
2828373
Skipping exposition is fine. However, you are correct that generally you don't want to lead into it with something like "Let me tell you my story..." then proceed to skip it. You're setting the reader up for the information, then abandoning them.
But anyway, exposition is usually expendable. It's no big loss.
What I'm more concerned with is the general lack of... well, anything in this story. There's no narrative arc, there's no conflict, there's no apparent attempt at character growth. Granted, this is only after two chapters, but at some point you have to ask yourself, "What is this story about?"
The story description ends with the question "Will Jeanne find a proper sword, and how will she react when the blacksmith introduces her to his skilled apprentice who happens to be a human?"
Apparently, the answers are 1) yes, and 2) she'll blush and act bashful.
Soo... I guess we're done? The story still says 'Incomplete,' though. Weird.
Very nicely done.
At first I was going to cry foul about the use of allayed, but after consulting Merriam-Webster's and a very ungodly amount of coffee I found I was wrong.
Fuckin sweet mate.
i'm looking forward to read more.
Hi, weapon maniac here. You would use quenching oil, not water. Water could crack the blade.
2828757
You're sorta right. It's a combination of lacking funds, plus Equestria doesn't have the same level of technology in all of its aspects the same as we do. Plus I just thought the more traditional style of sword forging would work well with this story.
Oh, and thanks for sharing that video. That's awesome!
2828899
Glad to hear it! Once I update Luna and Celestia's stories, more will be coming!
2828391
Off the top of my head, I can't remember anything about that sword specifically, but I do recall something about Viking swords.
2828270
Found and fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. I didn't realize I used the wrong one. I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter, when the time comes for its release.
2828873
I generally keep a browser window opened to dictionary.com as I write so I can check words if I'm not sure of their meaning or need to find synonyms.
2828615
Thank you! I don't like to rush romances too much, but at the same time, I know it's best not to drag things out too much either. Thanks for the yays!
2829104
Thanks for the tip. I was just going off my research. I do remember coolants other than water alone mentioned, such as oils or brine being used to quench metal.
2829173
Also remember that there are a lot of different hammers for forging and smiting, and if you integrate a Damascus steel blade I will provide a GIF that will make you laugh your socks off.
Ahh the history channel. I used to watch that all the time...buuutt then there was the whole Bigfoot, and the aliens, and then the like 10 shows about businesses in Vegas. Soo now I just don't watch tv anymore. Their specials though those are good.
I'm liking it so far, but I did spot one error right here:
I believe you meant "Is that my sword?" But it's only a small nitpick. I'm liking the more relaxed pace of the romance here, it's more refreshing than the usual romance that just comes out of the blue.
2829159 In essence, it is a sword which was thought to have magical powers due to its ability to bend when used as a thrust weapon. Normal swords would break due to slag in the metal. The actual knowledge about crafting those weapons first came to Europe roughly 800 years after the swords were used in Europe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXbLyVpWsVM <-- Video
Anyways, my line if thought was that very specific conditions must be met for the steel to be proper. They also talk about those in the video.
2829238
There, it's been fixed. Thanks for pointing that out. If you're enjoy the relaxed pace of the romance you will certainly enjoy it as it continues in chapter 3 and in chapter 4, till things start getting a lot more serious leading into the first of the story's mature content.
Another great chapter, and well researched!
2827847 Nah, I made the error. lol.
2828001 My knowledge is mostly second hand from someone I know who does smith work. If it's wrong, well, I won't doubt it.
Still good
Oh god this story is full of D'awwws and Nawwws, My heart keeps exploding!
Cant wait for the next one!
cdn.crushable.com/files/2012/08/feels-my-emotions.gif
And a another awesome chapter :)
Hello! This story is good. Very good. The pacing for the romance feels right and the worldbuilding feels right as well. I do however have a few opinions on stuff:
Firstly, you've tended to use italics too frequently.
There was probably no need for that italics in there, among some other examples. It's not really emphasizing anything if there's a bunch of them, right? I just found them a bit distracting.
Secondly, you get this fantastic buildup for Galen's background story... and it never shows up
I'm sure you would've done that section well, and I regret that one of the characters (Jeanne) knows something us readers don't.
Anyway, this is all opinion, but...
tweakjustalittleplease
yay, I'm like #400!!!
y do i feel pride in that?
Great story (as expected) and can't wait for more from you.
D'aaw, the awkwardness between the two of them is natural, believable, and cute
Moar plz!
someone seems to like italicizing things.
2826698
I must think of the Storm Wardens because Jeanne's cutie mark looks similar the chapter symbol of the Storm Wardens, a blue shield with a white lightning bolt.
I think I speak for everyone when I say kudos for actually doing some research. That takes effort (I'm in university; trust me, I know) and that deserves props. I don't think she's out of character at all either. Keep it coming but watch the pacing! We're all eager to see where this goes but that eventuality will be so much more satisfying if you really watch how events progress! Will continue to pay attention and have a fave and like!
I am still very impressed with the effort put into this.
I can tell that this is going to be one of your best.
Its nice to see your dedicated to making a good story and it really shows :)
I was wondering is the story already done and your just putting the chapters out every once in a while (or whatever) or are you still writing but you have several done in advance?
A lovely second chapter.
It's nice to see someone taking effort in blacksmith researching.
2831498
Thank you! I really put a lot of care and effort into making this story. There's still a long way to go. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg.
2831837
I have a few done in advance. Since my other stories have proven popular in the past, with this one I wanted to have a few done ahead of time. That way when I'm working on chapter 5, I can edit and post chapter 3, since it's already drafted. This way my readers don't have to wait too long for updates.
2833065
I've always found swords to be amazing weapons, and when the idea for this story came to me, I thought it'd be great to do some research on sword forging so I can offer a mostly believable experience for my readers.
2831251
It's my sincerest hope. We'll know when I add more chapters for sure. It should have a similar feel that my Luna and Celestia stories have, while still being a story of its own creation.
2831140
I wanted to offer a believable setting at a blacksmith's forge and I also wanted this to be more than just a simple clopfic. Even though Jeanne was originally intended for clopfics, I asked her creator if he'd mind me putting her in a romance, shipped with a human. Thankfully he didn't mind. The romance of this story should play out quite similar to my Luna and Celestia stories. They are both very popular, so I'm confident this one will follow suit. Plus even by the end of chapter 4 and the first clop scene, it's not even as over the top of mature scene as it could be. But I'm not going to spoil anything.
2830474
Once I update a few of my other fics: Luna and Celestia's, I'll be all too happy to add more to this tale. I was hoping I could make Jeanne and Galen's interactions enjoyable as well as believable.
2830441
You know you've joined others in liking what I hope will be a very good story when all is said and done. And I will be working on more of my stories, tonight even.
2833862 ok just wondering
Ya know, after coming back and looking at this, 2828785 raises an EXTREMELY valid point.
Your writing is already rather cliched, humans meets pony, they nearly instantly fall in love. However, this time around, there's zero conflict or plot present here. In Luna's story, almost immediately some shadowy figures make themselves known. Celestia's story, she's trying to get away from the hassles of royalty. Here... Jeanne is looking to get a sword made...
You see how it's fallen / falling short? Honestly, without any further content [yet], this story is flimsy, at best right now. You've picked up a nice gathering of readers who simply read your content cause they enjoy the somewhat thinly veiled stories as they want the romance, but here, it's almost insulting with what has, or in this case, hasn't happened in the story.
Plus, looking back, your first chapter was rather low in terms of quality compared to your other works (or my eye has simply gotten more critical, could be a mix of both too) and honestly, it just isn't up to snuff. Awkward moments, exposition, skipping over exposition (let me tell you how I got here. Insert time skip. Hey readers, you don't need to know the backstory of this character! There's romance coming, that's all you should care about!) and just... yeah.
Sorry, but the more I think on this one and examine it, I can't help but think it's utter crap. Sorry Jaydex.
EDIT - Ch 3/4 might change my mind on this, but so far, all of this writing has been for naught.
>>Ignis Mortis et Doloris
Damascus takes a hell of a lot more time to forge than just one night. Even then, it cant be true Damascus, because the methods of producing true Damascus steel were lost. Modern Damascus looks the same, but lacks the same chemical structure.
Sir Knight,
I love how this new project of yours is coming along. This Galen character is done pretty well, and I love it's relaxing gentle pace so far, but I think my favorite part is this shy, but kind character of Jeanne.
To some this might sound weird, but I seemed to have seen her personality ahead of time in the visual art...most specifically in the expression and hue of her eyes and the color and apparent softness of her hair. I remember reading somewhere that you "discover" her character through similar means, and after reading these two chapters, I must say with think along similar lines. She was just like I had imagined, and, just like i said above, her personality might be my favorite part of this so far.
On another track...this work has been taking some fire and criticism. To which I say: Please don't be phased by these Chardonnay drinking Philistines. (I prefer to enjoy this sort of thing with an old Scotch.) You just keep this project on course. If you do, you will keep at least this reader very happy.
Sincerely and respectfully,
The Equestrian Ranger
(Not affiliated with, related to, or even a fan of The Lone Ranger movie...God I hate these stupid re-makes!!)
2829104
oil, salt water and water were used to quench, depending on the desired result.
can't remember which of the three was for blades, i think oil, not because water would crack the blade but because it gave more flexibility i think..
2826856
Japanese swordcrafting was unique and vastly superior to any swordsmithing practiced in Europe,
it's why katana's are so popular.
quenching and tempering were restricted to finished products in europe(don't know about japan),
the reason is that the quenching increases hardness and makes the metal more brittle.
the tempering then reduces the hardness and in doing so makes it less brittle but you shouldn't heat it back to smithing temperatures!
i don't know how the japanese got around it, but doing so would destroy the microstructure created by quenching and tempering the metal.(i don't know if this is resetting the metal to it's state before the quenching, i doubt it, it would however mean that you can continue smithing the blade without losing quality, but again i doubt this is the effect.)
2836162
Thank you for the comment and your support as one of my followers. Like you, Jeanne's personality is one of the things I love about her. She's a very incredible pony and her shy side really makes her something special. It's not easy to explain in a few words, hence the need for a story. Everything about her right down to her quirks makes her incredible, at least to me.
You're certainly right, like most of my stories, this one too is now taking a lot of flack. You know, I'm starting to get used it. Have no fear, this story and everything noted and not noted in the summary will continue as planned. A few malcontents will not deter me from doing what I love. While some may think this is proceeding without conflict or any plot, they just don't truly understand me of how I do my stories. There is so much more to this story and to come to this story, but I don't divulge everything right off the bat. I like to savor things when I write and move things along in my own way. The next two chapters will certainly move things forward in ways the doubters still probably won't approve of, but, I'm confident that readers like you will continue to enjoy it, just as I have.
*piece
for two shy people it seems like they're taking large strides
still adorable, though the italics are.. distracting
Three feet seems like an awfully long blade for something the size of a non alicorn-pony.
I'm disappointed by this story so far. It's like a carbon copy of your other stories! The characters are always over polite, the men are always too perfect. They always act politely and marvel at their companions beauty every other paragraph (exaggeration). Why can't we have a male protagonist who has some inner demons and acts like a jerk. There's no life in the characters!
I had high hopes for this story, partly because of everything you've said about it and partly from my own interests in forging (being an apprentice myself). This isn't to say that I'll cease to read your stories or stop following you, but i had hoped that this story would be better.
Oh my god...that was...AMAZING!!! I am seeing the connecting even more I love love it and I dont think it is bad she is shy and bashful around him. I think that is sweet. I am the same way when I meet someone I like of course I am like that with my boyfriend hehehehe. I cannot wait for the Third chapter :3.
2838208
Three feet is the length of a yard stick plus a hilt. It's really not that big. Now if he were making her a sword like Sephiroth's from "Final Fantasy VII", which looks to be 4 - 5 feet long, or a two-handed sword like the berserker, Orson, from "Record of Lodoss War" used, which is easily five feet long or more, then I could see it being a bit long, mind you.
2839360
Thank you! I've found Jeanne's shy side to be a lot of fun to write about, and working out the interactions between them both has been equally enjoyable. Glad you're looking forward to chapter 3, it's only going to get better, and keep in mind, we've barely hit the tip of the iceberg. There is so much more coming to this story.
Oh, and before I forget, I like your avatar pic. Very cute.
2839755
I'm thinking more "Thats an awfully long, and thus heavy, sword for something that's maybe four feet tall to be attempting to wield with its mouth, or maybe its hooves if it's feeling fancy."
2839897
Why do you think Galen administered the test of her foreleg strength? It wasn't just so he could cop a feel of her hooves. It was to determine how heavy and how to balance the sword so it would be properly suited for her.