Equestrian Royalty

by xXSheltieXx

11: Discord's Reign of Failure

Princess Celestia sighed as she looked at Discord. Passed out in the hallway, blocking the hallway. The Princess of the Sun lifted up a hoof, then proceeded to prod at Discord's face. She made such an unprincess like face as she touched his skin with her Royal Hooves.

"Ugh." She muttered, wrinkling her nose in disgust. Celestia sighed as she spoke. "Discord, it's time to get up! Why are you in the hallway?"

Discord groaned and rubbed his head, looking up at the princess. "Because I felt like it. Because I am a FAILURE!"

"Oh, no, no, no! You're Discord! You're the God of Chaos! How can you be a failure?" Especially when you were born one? Princess Celestia thought.

In a snap of his talons, Celestia was sitting in a therapist's chair with a notebook and quill, Discord on a large lounge chair, laying down and sighing. "It all began earlier today."

[Fifteen Minutes Prior]

Discord laughed chaotically as the pony servants ran in fear. The blender and toaster were fighting, and the silverware was dancing to a nonexistent melody. The oven was singeing the manes and tails of those that got too close, and the fridge was eating up ponies who ran towards it.

"Discord!" Princess Luna yelled. She shot random bolts of magic at his chaos, making it cease, five of the chefs falling out of the fridge. "What on Equestria do you think you're doing?!"

"Don't yell at me, yell at... um, what's your name again?" Discord asked a chef who shuddered under his touch.

"M-My n-n-name i-is Frozen Fresh, sir." She cowered as he picked her up in his paw and claws.

"Blame Frilly Fresh here, she got my order wrong and gave me Southern Style French Fries. I asked for Western. I decided to have a little rebellion." Discord said, tossing the earth pony aside.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried, running away to safety behind Princess Luna.

Luna sighed. "Do I need to get Nighty in here?"

"Oh good Celestia, I'm so scared."

Luna face hoofed and called. "Nightmare Moon~! Some pony is being annoying and wants to have 1000 years of nightmares!"

Instantly, Nightmare Moon appeared and cackled. "Who? Who who who?" She bounced in place, eager to give some pony nightmares.

Luna pointed her hoof at Discord and whispered into her ear. "Give him the full package of pain. Make him uncomfortable at all costs."

"That can be arranged," Nightmare flicked her forked tongue out and smiled.

"Oh, some nightmares, I'm so very scared!" Discord laughed.

Nightmare touched her horn to his antler and his eyes instantly closed.

[In Discord's Nightmare]

"Well this isn't so bad," A feminine voice said. "Wait a minute."

"Welcome to the first seconds of your thousand years of nightmares! Ahaha!" Nightmare Moon cackled from a storm cloud.

"What have you done to me?!" Discord yelled, looking at his feminine body. "What have you done?!"

"I've swapped your genders with another universe's you. You are no longer Discord, God of Chaos, you are Eris, Goddess of Chaos!" Nightmare yelled, gently flapping her wings, descending from her cloud.

"It's not too bad, I guess." 'Eris' said.

"Well, how about some snakes, scorpions, and spiders?" Nightmare asked, summoning the three animals by the hundreds.

"Ew, no, no! It stings! Why, Nightmare, why?" Discord yelled as he was swapped back to his own gender.

"Because Princess Luna asked me, Princess Nightmare Moon, to give you nightmares for a thousand years. Or you could apologize." Nightmare said, tapping her hoof on her lip.

"Never would I ever apologize for something as silly as that!" Discord yelled as the snakes and scorpions bit him, the spiders crawling all over his body.

"Then you'll have nightmares for another thousand years." Nightmare stated simply, stamping her hoof for effect.

[Five Minutes Later]

"Fine, ugh, I am sorry, Princess Nightmare Moon, Frozen Fresh, Princess Luna, and all other chefs and patrons in the castle." Discord apologized reluctantly.

"Good draqoneequs!" Nightmare Moon clapped her hooves. "Now, you have to listen carefully, okay?"

"Yes?" Discord sighed.

"You have to do the can-can upside down for two minutes straight." Nightmare smiled.

"I'll try," Discord said, starting the dance.

Discord danced into the hall as he was instructed by the princess. In a zap of dark blue magic, Discord passed out, returning to his time in his nightmares.

[Present]

"And that was my day, doc. Whaddaya say, will I live?" Discord asked.

"I'm afraid to say that you," Princess Celestia said, pulling down her therapist's glasses down her muzzle. "are an idiot."

Celestia teleported to her throne room to continue her day, while Nightmare Moon terrorized Discord's mind as he fell back asleep.

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[survivor]

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