A Demon King, A Mage, and A Utopia

by Youcannoterasethepast

The Stupid and Pathetic Trixie!

Billy walked down the hallway from which he came. His entire thought process has returned, so he was able to fully comprehend that he missed an entire dimension. This body needed some breaking in. So as to not have a world turned against him, the armor he was wearing turned back into his robes. He noticed, his robes had gone from electric blue to purple and grey. He opened the door again, and said to both the unicorn and doctor.

"Excuse me, but did you just talk?"

"Yes..." The unicorn replied.

"Hello, I am Billy. Um... would you mind telling me where I am?'

"I'm Twilight, and you're in Ponyville"

"Way to be original, but could you be more broad"

"Equestria"

Some real imagination at work here "Is that the name of the planet?"

"No, its Equus"

Twilight was looking at him like he was crazy "Hello Twilight. As I once said, I am billy. I came from Earth where I tried to teleport my enemy to the astral plain, but I seem to have... ah... missed"

"You missed a whole dimension?"

"Hey! I just got this body! Don't judge!"

"You weren't born with that body...?"

"That's kind of what 'I just got this body' means" he paused "Sorry for calling you a bitch, interdimensional travel makes one's thoughts short and erratic, so it was impossible to think"

"Apology accepted"

The doctor, who seemed to be at a loss for words, finally piped up "Your... erm... going to have to pay for the bed..."

"No problem" he touched a small bit of ash, and immediately a pure silk sheet colored gold blossomed from that point, and the bed started to turn gold and repair the minimal damage done to it as well "Give it a try, I promise It'll feel like it's made of babies.

They give him a weird look.

"It's soft"

The doctor put a hoof on the bed, and what he felt was nothing. Literally, he couldn't feel the bed. He could sell this for a fortune, and just buy a old cheap replacement for the hospital and live in luxury.

"If you try to sell it, it will literally turn into shit"

The doctor tried and failed to mask his disappointment. Making Twilight giggle softly.

"I'm sure the value of that bed more than pays for my stay here?"

For only the second time the doctor speaks "Yes, sir"

Billy paused. He used to relish being called "sir". Now it just made him feel old. Which he was, just over 2000 years. But he didn't want to be reminded!

"Please, call me Billy"

"Yes si- Billy"

"Well, I'll be taking my leave. I have an astral plane to get to. It certainly was a pleasure to meet you both" With that, the air around him cracked and popped with electricity, and nothing else happened "There is a dimensional lock here, but why?" His jaw fell open "This body is stupid! I rejuvenated and it made me motherfucking stupid! How could I not have seen this before!? I took Archhaven with me to Equus, and now everyone living on this goddamn planet is going fucking die!" As he paced, the tile floors were scorched and melted. "Either one of you, I need a tour of Ponytown-

"Ponyville" Twilight corrected

"Ponyville, if anyone wants to live any longer than a week"

"I'll go. I might learn something on the way" Twilight said, the doctor looked relieved.

"Let us be off!"

Their trip was as follows: Town Hall, Sweet Apple Acres, school, Library and twilight's house, Rainbow Dash's house, Sugarcube Corner, and Fluttershy's cottage. He had met the residents of all of them, and attracted stares the whole way.

The only thing Billy got from all that, was the geography of ponyville, the personalities of about eight of it's residents, and news travels impossibly fast in Equus.

"I am the great and powerful Trixie!"

Twilight and Billy joined in a crowd, In which billy didn't exactly blend in, since even the taller ponies were only up to his chest.

"Word has come that there is a Human in Ponyville, by the name of Timmy! Not only is he human, but he is also capable of magic! Timmy, accept my challenge"

"It's Billy, and do not accept your challenge. I do, however, accept your request to be publicly shamed!" He teleported in front of the pony, who didn't even flinch.

"Anything you can do, I can do better with magic! Let us start with that teleportation spell!" She teleported three balls, stacked on top of each other perfectly, and teleported herself on top of them all, managing to star perfectly balanced.

"Very impressive. Now lets try taking away the invisible support strut" A metal support strut was briefy visible holding the balls on on top of the other, before vanishing. Trixie immediately fell to the ground. "Alright, multicolored fire spell" A different colored flame sprouted from each of his fingertips, and flew together to make a multicolored ball of fire.

Trixie hesitated for a moment, then took the ball of fire in her own hooves. Multi Colored streams of water came from her horn and made a ring around the ball of fire "Beat that!"

"If you say so" The ball immediately lost its structure, and the flames extinguished and the water fell, soaking he. "Wanna know the best part? As the water was falling, I replaced it with piss from the sewers. You, Trixie, are covered in piss"

With that, she began to cry.

"Lets hear it for the Stupid and Pathetic Trixie!" Most ponies "clapped" but a few looked disapprovingly at billy. Including Twilight.

Author's Note:

This came to me in a dream. Knowing my stupid dream self, I have no idea whether or not this is a good topic. Let me know in the comments.