Ever wondered how such an obviously evil character like Sombra became so powerful? Ever want to know why he was destroyed the first time? Do you want Discord and Sombra to duke it out on top of a lightning rod? That's not happening, but the other two are!
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You've got a very nice idea here, following the good intentions, the rise to power, and then the decent into paranoia and madness of King Sombra.
If I may make a recommendation or two:
Everything feels like it is over just as soon as it began. Before I can really grasp on where Sombra is in life and how he is viewing things, the story has moved on to a few more years down the road. Characters such as Niccolo Cadenza or events such as the Orange Conspiracy enter the stage, just to disappear before I can learn anything beyond their names.
I would really like to see this story expanded out a great deal more. The lecture hall is a great opening and closing location, but I would like to start "seeing" the young Sombra and his views as opposed to just "hearing" about them. We start to see a bit of this in the brief conversation with his father, but again, it's over before it can get the chance to tell me much of anything.
If you would rather keep the lecture hall setting, might I recommend having a student or two ask some questions so that the professor has an excuse to go into a bit more detail, thus giving you a better chance to explain what is going on beyond a short diary entry.
tldr: You've got a solid idea here, but I would argue that you should expand it out much more so that it could reach its full potential.
Heheh.
I don't like the bad formatting, no I don't. At a minimum, you ought to adhere to the rule of "new speaker, new paragraph". Also, on the internet, you should separate every paragraph with a blank line between them.
So... is Sombra supposed to be Trotsky or someone?
The comments are much nicer than some other works I have seen, so thanks! I may end up editing this if I get the time or enough people notice it! My motivation behind this was that Sombra from the original S3 opener was quite dull, and I felt he was not really a character so much as a generic force. I thought some fanon could rectify it. The reason it seems so short is because I wrote it in a night as a challenge. It may be extended or rectified!