(18) Fowl Play
CHAPTER THE EIGHTEENTH
FOWL PLAY
When I was young, my father took me into the city. I'd never seen anything like it. The tallest things around where I'd lived were the trees...but here? The trees were scraggly, sickly things, growing out of the sidewalks ever thirty feet or so. They barely reached three stories tall. I remember looking at my first skyscraper. I actually fell over backwards from craning my head back to try and see the top. There were new sights and smells, new tastes and new noises. Everything was loud, fast and dirty.
Heh. The people weren't that much different.
In all honesty, I didn't like it that much. Too many bodies. Too many cars. Too many everything. Give me a nice shack in the woods, a good book, a stash of booze, and I'd pretty much be happy for life. Cities were always a little...overwhelming...for me. The irony of this is that I'd find myself living in one several years down the road, in a dingy little apartment above the Hungry Dragon restaurant, breathing in the smell of noodles and sesame chicken until it was all I could taste, even if I decided to eat something strong. It was a quiet little place, but it was mine.
I spent most of my time in there, avoiding the hustle and bustle of the outside world. It wasn't that I was a closet case. I just didn't like the city. Made me nervous. Skeptic. Sometimes afraid for my life.
The time spent in the solitude of Daring Do's treehouse did me wonders. I relaxed, for the first time in...a long time. Of course, I had to fear for my life on more than one occasion, but hey! It's a jungle out here. Literally. When I came to Wethoof, it wasn't bad at all. It was a small town, only about five or six hundred inhabitants. And I could always get away from that, even though there was a wall. A large ring of crop fields and grasslands encircled the actual town like a donut, then one found the wall. Walking through the fields was soothing for me. With the battle only hours away, I needed to relax. Now, however, that was probably impossible.
In the dead of night, I hadn't been able to see the full scale of the reinforcements. Now that it was daylight, I was boggled by what I saw.
There was, to put it simply, a city where there had only been space.
Tents, tents, and...surprise! More tents. A tent city. It completely encircled Wethoof, arranged in neat rows like streets. Dirt paths already pounded flat by hooves. There were even tall poles with glowing orbs attached to them every once and a while. Streetlights, I guessed. Ponies trotted here and there, some in protective barding and armor, others in just their coats. Pegasi, earth ponies and unicorns were all in representation.
It was a bit overwhelming for me, I have to admit. But, I just had to learn more. An opportunity like this was irresistible to my inner scientist. So, I whipped out my psychology binder, which I'd snagged on the way out of the barracks, and began to stroll through the new streets, taking down notes or observations at what I saw. Coconut, who now had nothing else to do thanks to my accidental frosting bomb, trotted along next to me, clearly just as impressed with the encampment as I was.
Above it all, the Benevolent Mercy hovered from where she was moored to the barracks belltower. She was a beautiful thing, indeed. It was built much differently than any other airship I'd seen. Instead of an undercarriage built into the bottom of the sleek, silver balloon, there was actually a ship hanging underneath from heavy chains, minus a mast.
This just blew me away. Such technology! Such innovation! SO MUCH SCIENCE! I was curious about everything. They say curiosity killed the cat - but I'm a dog. Nothing to worry about, right?
Wrong.
"Oy! Tall, dumb, and furry!" a familiar voice shouted over the hubbub, distracting me from what could have been a gloriously intense nerdgasm.
I spun on the spot, smoothly sliding my binder into my toga. I cocked an eyebrow at the speaker. Well, well, well. If it isn't the mercenary I'd been hearing about...
It was that gryphon again. He was covered in all sorts of feathers, reddish gold all around, except for his face and chest, which were white. He cut his way through the crowd like a knife, and most of the passing ponies avoided him like the plague. They had good reason, I suspect. That massive black sword strapped to his back looked like it could split a mountain in half. The mercenary swaggered up, calm as you please, and fixed me a look with hard, blue eyes. I crossed my arms and met his gaze as evenly as I could. It was with strange satisfaction that I noted I was a great deal taller than him, but then again, I was the equivalent of an NBA player here.
"So. You're that dog I've been hearing so much about. Gecko, right?" he said easily. His stare never wavered. It was rather unnerving.
"Echo." I lifted a single paw to scrawl.
"Sure, sure..."
The crowd, by this time, had resumed its natural course, with the exception of three new rocks in the stream. And still, he kept staring. It was beginning to creep me out.
"Can we help ya with something, mate?" Coconut finally asked.
"Yep," was all he said.
Coconut and I exchanged a glance. "And that would be...?"
"Well, for starters, you busted up half the stuff in my tent."
Ah. I had a feeling that one might come back to haunt me. "Sorry about that..." I sheepishly scratched of my head. Accidents happen! Maybe he'll forgive and forget.
"Well, isn't that nice, I always appreciate an apology. But a 'sorry' won't cut it."
Aw, fuckberries! Then what will? I recrossed my arms and tilted my head forward, throwing the top of my face into shadow. It not only served to possibly intimidate, but allowed me to furiously blink tears of pain away. Staring back at him was suicide!
"I've got a little proposal for you," he finally said. "I've got a bunch of broken stuff, and I'm rather upset over that. You, the idiot who broke it all, are going to help me...cool off as payment."
I swallowed loudly. Hopefully, his hearing wasn't as good as mine, or I'd have been a dead giveaway. "I call a time out."
Coconut and I turned our backs. I bent low, so he could whisper.
"Mate, I don't like this. Mercs aren't exactly the nicest sort of ponies. Hay, this fellow ain't even a pony!" The brown stallion was clearly as worried as I was. "Plus, he's under Frosty's payroll, apparently. If he tries something, which he probably will, and something happens to ya , we're gonna be bucked in the plots tonight. All of this will be for nothin'."
I nodded, frowning, before turning back to the gryphon. "And if I say no?"
The mercenary smirked, before lifting up one leg and snapping his fingers. Suddenly, several ponies that had been walking by turned towards us and stopped. They looked suspiciously bloodthirsty. The other passerby simply melted around us.
"You don't want to say that." He finally blinked, the entire conversation had been spent intently regarding us.
Shit. It never fails. I always run into the crazy ones. ALWAYS! But still, I needed to play along. I couldn't pay my debt to Tythus if I was dead... The battle was tonight, after all. Dammed if I do, double-dammed if I don't.
"Fine." The feathered bastard cracked a grin at this, and gestured me to follow him with a scaly talon. I warily did so. The surrounding ponies, whom were undoubtedly also mercenaries, flanked either side of Coconut and I, preventing us from wandering off.
Ugh, this was probably a good time for Disarray to show up. Where the hell was he, anyway?
In the skies high, high above Wethoof, a stormy gray alicorn, clad in a colorful robe, alit gracefully upon a thin cirrus cloud. He glanced around, before tossing his hood back, to reveal crafty, pink eyes that scanned the surrounding cloud layer with ease.
The alicorn sighed and stretched his wings. It felt good to be able to use them again. Even when below, he had to go about covered. Up here, though, past the heights of even the strongest pegasi, he was safe from the prying eyes of others.
The soft whoosh of wings alerted him to the arrival of company. He turned his head to the side, smirking at the sight of his guest. He was about to speak, when the sound of yet another pair of wings to his other side silenced whatever he'd been about to say. The alicorn cocked an eyebrow at the second arrival, who stepped forward.
"It is good to see you again, cousin Disarray..." It began.
"...You've been away for too long." The first finished with perfect timing.
Disarray coughed politely into one hoof. "Yes. Well. Had a bit of a falling out with Mother. Had to lay low for a while, get off the family's radar. Oh! And did I mention the part where I've been trapped for the past, I don't know...two-thousand or so years?"
The second laughed softly. It sounded like the tinkling of bells. "What is this 'radar' you speak of, cousin..?"
"...We never understood where you get these strange sayings from." The first continued.
"Even I don't understand the place I get them from." Disarray sighed, shaking his head, before looking up. "It's good to see you again, cousins. I've been quite lonely."
The first smiled, while the second went over to the edge of the cloud and peered over. "Ah, but it seems you've been quite busy socializing..."
"...The foreigner you travel with, and his companions. I never imagined you of all ponies to have friends."
Disarray humphed, and melodramatically pointed his nose in the air. "I wouldn't call them that. More like..," he waved a hoof around as he thought. "...Like 'acquaintances.' Oh! And I'm sure they'd love to meet you two. Bet Fluffy would get a kick out of it."
"Perhaps..."
"...But still. You're changing, Disarray."
"Oh, Yes! Two millennium of solitary confinement does that to you," The alicorn dryly quipped.
"Undoubtedly. But there are greater changes in store for you..."
"...As well as those you follow."
Disarray said nothing for a while, instead opting to look down at the distant green splotch known as the Great Southern Rainforest. From here, he could see the edges of the jungles, far off in the north. The world had truly been transformed since his imprisonment. Once, there had been desert where forest now stood. Where mighty plains had once rolled, mountains had risen and fallen. Change - it was a constant that even his chaotic nature had to abide by.
"The metamorphosis?" he finally said.
"It comes to us all..."
"...And you're long overdue."
The two joined him at the cloud's edge. He felt the comforting touch on his shoulders as they softly rubbed up against him. "How is Mother? And Auntie Luna? I understand she suffered a similar fate to my own."
"They've missed you greatly. You should return to them at once..."
"...You will be welcomed with open wings, cousin. They've changed as well in the time you've been gone."
Disarray frowned. As tempting as it was to return home, after all these years, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not yet. Maybe never. "Only you two know of my return?" he switched the conversation's direction.
"Yes. We were nearby when you first emerged..."
"...Though it pains us to carry this burden. Much has transpired since that time of grief and sorrow..."
"...It would do you well to find out what."
Disarray thoughtfully tugged on his mustache, and wrapped his wings around them. "Maybe I will, when I've had my fill of adventuring. They waited two-thousand years, they can wait a little longer. I've a whole new world to see." He glanced down at Wethoof and smiled a crafty smile. "And I have a feeling it's going to be getting quite the shake up, soon."
He rubbed a hoof on his chest, inspecting it for a few moments, then firmly stomping it into the cloud. "Oh! I heard cousin Mi Amore Cadenza got engaged! To the captain of the Royal Guard, no less! How did that come about?"
The two cracked grins that spoke of a very interesting story.
"Yo, fuzzball!"
I snapped to, glancing around. The mercenary camp wasn't like the rest of the tent city. It was a simple circle of tents, with a fire pit off to one side, a few barrels in between the ragged tents. A wide, open space took up the middle, made of dry, hard-packed earth. The gryphon eyed him from across the clearing. Scruffy looking ponies, mostly pegasi, and a motley crew of gryphons stood around the edges, curiously watching the spectacle. These were the mercenaries, otherwise known as the "Griffin Pirates."
Their leader, was, of course, the crazy one with the broadsword. His name was Griffin. Griffin the gryphon, to be precise.
I know, right? Silly name.
I turned to face him fully from where I'd been idly inspecting a patchwork tent. While not nearly well equipped as the rest of the forces, the mercenaries surely looked the part of the "Pirates" section of the title. Griffin unslung his sword and stabbed it into the earth, halfway up to the hilt, before swaggering up to me. He didn't stop until he was in my personal phone booth of space, a firm scowl on his beak.
Uh oh. This doesn't look good for Echo. "Can't we just talk this over?" I suggested.
He snorted, idly inspecting a talon. "Maybe you haven't heard, but that's not how we pirates do things around here. We solve our problems with our talons and hooves. We're rough, tough, and bad as sin. And I'm the baddest of the bunch. I'm so bad-" he leaned in closer, "-that I'm afraid of waking up in the morning; because of how bad I might have gotten overnight."
Several of the gathered pirates snickered:
"Ooooo!"
"He's gonna get it!!"
"Better get the shovel. He'll have us taking away whatever's left..."
Coconut, surrounded by a ragged assortment of pirates on the sidelines, rolled his eyes.
Seriously? Smack talk? Very well. PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKER! I leaned down as well, until we were almost eyeball to eyeball, then pulled back. "So, it's a match of intellect, then? I'd rather not have a battle of wits with you. After all, it's considered unsportsmanlike to fight an unarmed opponent."
"Oh, snap!"
"No he didn't!"
OH YES HE DID.
Griffin laughed. "Ho-ho! I like you. You're going to be fun." He tilted his head toward the monstrous black broadsword stuck in the ground. "You like? Saw you looking at it. That's made of dragonscale, right there. Cuts through just about everything."
I nodded. "Nice." Then, I undid my spear from my harness and firmly planted it into the ground, spearhead first. "You like?" He nodded too. "Have a closer look, then!" I pulled back on the top of the haft, bending the shaft a bit, and let go.
The spear whipped forward and bopped him on the beak.
Bap!
Nobody moved for a full ten seconds. You could hear a pin drop on a pillow. Then, he laughed again. The pirates laughed. Everybody laughed. The he scowled again, and said, "You got some fight in you. Good. Let's get it out, then. We're going to have a little throwdown. You, and me. Settle our differences, the pirate way."
I maintained my stoic position of arm-crossed, hood-down. Just maintain your cool, man. Don't let them see you shaking, don't let them see your knees knocking...
Griffin suddenly spun around and swaggered back to his sword. "Ring it up!" he called. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding in. A couple of pirates scrambled forward and hastily dug a rough circle in the ground around us. I guessed it to be about twenty feet in diameter. When the ring was finished, they quickly scampered back to the sidelines. I saw a few begin placing bets. I awkwardly pulled my spear up and cocked it over one shoulder. I almost dropped it, my palms were so sweaty.
Gods, I hate crowds...
The head pirate ripped his mighty blade out of the ground and leveled it at me. "Blunt 'em!" He barked. Two unicorns stepped forward from their ranks, horns aglow, surrounding the black blade of his sword and the silvery-white of my spearhead with a sparkly aura.
"First one forced out of the ring or knocked unconscious loses the match. No step-outs. Do this and we're square. Ready?"
I glanced down at my spear. It was visibly shaking. Along with the rest of me. For the love of Betty White... If I'd been presented with this suddenly, I wouldn't have had time to think about it. I would have been fine! Where is my boost of adrenaline when I need it? This was very, very bad. Mainly because here I was in the ring with a professional soldier, who was going to beat the tar out of me holding a weapon...
...I had no idea how to use this fucking thing.
"Go!"
SONOFABI-
WHACK! THUD!
"Ouch, now that's gotta hurt!" Coconut muttered to himself. He had managed to slink out of the crowd of pirates around the ring, and was now standing on top of one of a few barrels near a tent to get a better view of the action.
And by "action," that meant watching the gryphon open several different cans of whoop-ass on his opponent.
At once.
BOOF!
The sudden sight of the diamond dog spinning crazily through the air, was, despite the situation, slightly hilarious. The big, usually stoic creature was being thrashed around by a being half his size. Coconut shook his head, trying to repress a grin at his friend's expense. But he was in real danger - that much, Coconut was sure of. Time to focus.
What was going on here was actually quite commonplace on a pirate ship. Two crew members have a disagreement, and agree to settle their aggression in the ring.
He was somewhat familiar with pirate culture. Several years ago, during Wethoof's heyday, airships from across Equestria occasionally stopped by to partake in the gem trade. Occasionally, some of the crew members would stop by in the tavern that he'd spent so much time in growing up. Strange tales of far off places, exotic creatures, and different cultures often permeated the tavern's common room late in the evening. He'd spent many a sleepless night listening to such tales. Coconut sighed wistfully. Good to see that had finally paid off for something.
A sudden blur of motion to his side caused him to glance around. A pegasus had swiftly landed on the barrel next to him. Tannish-gold coat, a pocketed shirt, signature pith helmet cocked back over a charcoal mane...Coconut's eyes bugged out of his head in shock.
"Miss Daring Do?" he gasped. He'd heard rumors she was in town. The pegasus had a near-legendary status in these parts. Her exploits were even turned into stories, after all! She'd been buying supplies from Wethoof for years now, but had rarely actually visited the place.
The explorer merely nodded in acknowledgement, watching the fight with a worried expression. "Sorry to be rude, but that's my friend in there," she said.
"Ya don't say..." Coconut was baffled. That diamond dog sure knew how to get around.
They watched as Griffin executed a lightning fast back flip over the reeling diamond dog, booting him in the back with a powerful kick. The dog was sent flying, almost to the line carved in the ground. He rolled to avoid a crushing tackle from the gryphon, scrabbling desperately towards the edge in an attempt to flee. "Oh, no you don't!" cried the pirate, seizing his victim by the tail and sending him flying once again into the center of the ring. The crowd cheered.
Daring Do shot Coconut a look. "Say, don't you know him as well?"
Coconut nodded solemnly. "Aye."
She rounded on him, and bluntly demanded, "Then are you with them, or us?"
"Define them." Coconut lowered his voice, both eyebrows raised. "If yer asking me if I'm in league with these hotheads, then no. I'm with Tythus. Why...why do ya ask?""
"Him," she said simply, pointing into the crowd, off to the far left. "He's had it in for Echo since we came here."
Coconut followed her hoof, running his gaze over the ragged mercenaries. "Celestia's pearly flanks!" he cursed. There, standing in the shadow of a tent, was the mayor of Wethoof; Mayor Frost Snap. "This isn't good. He's gonna try something! These pirates - they're in his payroll!"
"I agree. Question is, what?" The explorer watched Frost intently. Coconut ran a hoof over his short blond mohawk, turning his gaze back to the fight.
BAM! POW!
He winced - Echo was going to be feeling that one in the morning. Hopefully, he wasn't planning on having any pups in the future... Coconut stomped a hoof on the barrel. "We can't stop it alone, miss. Let's work together on this, yeah?"
Daring Do grimly smiled. "Yeah. You keep watch on the mayor, I'll get ready to stop the fight if something happens. Thanks for the help...uh..." she trailed off.
"Coconut, miss. Pleased ta meet ya; always been a fan." The chef grinned back, before hopping off the barrel and slinking his way around the edges of the crowd, without so much as making a noise. Being raised in the rainforest had some advantages that other ponies wouldn't expect. Namely, every pony who lived here knew how to move like a ghost. It wasn't just a useful skill when venturing into the forest, it was a necessity. Stealth means survival.
On silent hooves, Coconut positioned himself behind a tent. Frost was sitting at the far end of the small alley between two more, still as a statue. Coconut peeked his head out around the corner. There! A crate! Perfect to hide under.
Coconut gingerly stepped into the alleyway, not daring to breathe. The mayor paid him no heed, still. One step. Two steps. Three steps. Still no hint that he'd been discovered. The earth pony swallowed nervously. The box was in his reach. He gently, oh so very gently, lifted the lid up with one hoof.
Creeeeeeeaaaaaaaaak!
Horeseapples! Coconut froze. Frost Snap's ear twitched. The world suddenly shrank to the size of the alley.
Unbelievably, the mayor ignored the noise. Coconut quickly slipped into the crate and lowered it over himself. He was closer, now. Close enough to hear Frost muttering to himself.
"With what? No...no, no no. We know what we need to do," the mayor quietly said to himself. Cconut pressed his face into the side of the box, straining to hear.
"She'll make sure nothing happens to them. She promised. This has to happen." Frost paused, and shifted his gaze to his side. "What? No. I'd never... She'd never..."
He seemed to be talking to somepony that wasn't there. Coconut cocked an eyebrow. He knew that the mayor's mental capacities had been somewhat...skewed. It wasn't a secret. Regardless, Frost was the best leader they'd ever had, even with his eccentricities. Wethoof had been willing to forgive him for those on account of his history. But still, he seemed like he'd slipped even more.
"No!" Frost suddenly growled. "That thing as well? The Styx...how could it accept them without you? I thought..." He flinched backwards, almost colliding with the box Coconut was hiding in. "Not her...I can't do it to her." Frost's head abruptly whipped to the side, and he stumbled, as if struck. "Gah!"
The unicorn staggered back to his hooves, breathing hard. "You're right," he finally said. "This needs to end now. We can't let anypony stand in our way." His horn flashed. A sharp whistle pierced the air. "For the greater good." Then, the mayor turned and bolted down the alley.
The second he had rounded the corner, Coconut exploded out from under the box. That had to have been some kind of signal! He dashed into the crowd. The pirates suddenly turned and braced themselves together, preventing him from seeing the ring. "DARING!" he yelled. Hopefully, she'd react in time to whatever was going to happen next.
Daring Do heard the call over the din. She brought out her whip, eyes scanning wildly around for any hint of danger. "Oh no..." One of the unicorns maintaining the blunting spell suddenly stopped stopped channeling! The sparkles surrounding the gryphon's fearsome sword evaporated as he brought it over his head, the diamond dog sprawled on the ground before him.
"ECHO! LOOK OUT!" Daring screamed. She sprang off the barrels, her whip already in motion. Something wrapped around her hoof, rudely halting her flight and slamming her into the earth. It was that blasted unicorn, wrapping a telekinetic grip around her leg! She twisted back towards the pit. Griffiin's sword was held high, the black blade painfully reflecting the sunlight.
Too slow! thought Daring.
Daring could only watch as Echo looked up from where he was lying prone. He twitched. His pupils suddenly narrowed into predatory slits. He lunged, mouth wide open in a primal snarl...
The blade came down.
SCREEEECH!
The gryphon came at me like a torpedo, clearing the gap between us in a split second. He rammed me hard in the stomach, before pulling back and bashing the side of my head with his sword. Small bluebirds began to spin around my face as I comically staggered about.
The sword flicked out again, taking my feet out from under me and sending me sprawling. I looked up to see him poised for an overhand chop. The blow struck me in the shoulder, denting the single epaulet I wore. Had the blade not been magically dulled, that might have taken my arm off... Griffin suddenly lunged forward, grabbing me by the toga, and beat his powerful wings. We rocketed off the ground to several feet above the circle, before he flipped and slung me back down to earth.
I hit the ground with a wheeze, "Whoof!" and attempted to climb out of the small crater my impact had left. Something crashed into my backside. I felt the grip of powerful talons lift me into the air once again.
Oh, hell no! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!
I craned my neck and chomped down on the avian leg gripping my shoulder. Griffin screeched and let go, giving me a powerful kick with his lion half. Once again, I cratered the pit. But this time, as I rose from the hole, I was smiling.
Griffin landed some distance away, examining the gash on his leg.
I smirked, licking my lips and spitting out a feather. "Tastes like chicken!"
Okay...now THAT was a bad move.
This time, I didn't even have time to register the movement of the sword, it was so fast. It took me on the arm, sending a lance of pain through my system as I dropped my spear in shock. He danced around me, whirling like a top. A second blow landed on the back of my knee, roughly sending me into a kneel. A final blow struck the back of my head. Stars exploded through my vision as I felt two paws buck my back, sending me flying across the area to land a few feet away from the line.
Sanctuary! Sweet salvation on a silver platter! RUN AWA-A-A-A-AY!
I scrambled forwards, towards the line of surrender. "Oh no you don't!" came his voice from behind me. Something grabbed my tail and heaved, sending me spinning through the air once again. A brutal collision mid-air resulted in me eating dirt once again.
Gods, I love the taste of dirt. It's so...dirty.
I rolled, barely avoiding another swing of the sword. It stuck in the ground, and the gryphon heaved at it with the intention to continue to the beating. This is my chance!
I lashed out with a rear leg, kicking Griffin's talons away from the blade, and sprang, tucking into a ball and steamrolling him into the ground. Coming out of the roll, I spun around and tried to swipe him with a pawfull of claws. No dice. He nimbly dipped backwards every time I swung at him, avoiding me with the grace of a professional boxer.
I overextended on a slash, and he stepped inside my reach, smoothly nudging my arm away and headbutting me in the face. I sat down, hard, as he spun on his forelegs and delivering a boneshattering kick to the center of my chest. I slid several feet before coming to a rest flat on my back, the breath completely knocked out of me.
There was a sharp blast of sound, like a whistle. It rang painfully in my ears, like nails on a chalkboard. I heard someone yelling something. Was...was that Coconut?
Griffin seemed to register the noise as well, turning from me to calmly stride over to where his sword was still wedged into the earth and yank it free. He approached me slowly, his weapon cocked jauntily over one shoulder.
"Well, that was fun!" he said. "But I think I'm done here. Got to make my bits somehow." He raised the black blade high, like an executioner's axe. "No hard feelings or anything. Just doing my job."
I blinked in reply, too winded to do anything else.
The sparkly aura around the weapon suddenly vanished. Oh, shit...
"ECHO, LOOK OUT!" someone screamed. I turned to look. There, almost inside the ring, was Daring Do, sprawled on the ground as the unicorn formerly maintaining the blunting spell dragged her back into the crowd. Our eyes met. In them, I could see myself reflected in the magenta depths.
Something inside me...woke up.
An unbelievable surge of heat burst out of my gut and screamed through my extremities. Something funny happened to my senses; all sharpened dramatically; hearing, sight, touch, taste, smell...and there was something else there, too. Something I'd never felt before. For a split second, my body flickered, like it had in the dream. Short, dark, fur, greenish paws...
That split second was all it took for the blade to fall.
Move! something inside me demanded. I obliged, completely out of control of my body.
I lunged forward, mouth agape to meet the attack...
SCREEEECH!!
Everything ground to a halt. The pirates stood in utter disbelief. Coconut shoved his way through until he came to the pit, his expression suddenly matching the others perfectly. Daring struggled up from where she was on the ground, the unicorn's spell completely forgotten. Her jaw dropped. They looked at the sight in complete dumbfoundment.
The diamond dog had stopped the blow...
By catching the sword mid-swing...
With his teeth.
The dog suddenly became a blur of motion, twisting his neck, ripping the sword from Griffin's grasp to fling it into the earth some distance away. He sprang up, took a few steps, cocked one fist back, and punched the pirate right in the face.
The gryphon became a feathered bullet as he was catapulted right off his talons and through the crowd, knocking them aside like bowling pins, before blasting through his tent, which promptly collapsed on top of him.
Echo relaxed and spat out a tooth, looking at it disinterestedly for a moment before mashing it into the dirt with a paw.
I shook my head violently, coming out of the strange rush that had once again saved my life. I mentally reviewed the times that it has done so.
~Ahuizotl's pets? -in pieces.
~Ahuizotl? -rotting in a pit.
~Big Momma? -cracked ribs.
~Pirate? -blown off like Team Rocket on a bad day.
Echo : 4. Death : 0.
Glancing over at the wreckage of the tent, I saw Griffin pulling himself out of the wreckage, dazedly shaking his head. I held up my paw, inspecting it carefully. How the hell did I do that? I...don't even remember it. There was the sword, coming at me, and then...screaming? I sighed in disbelief. This was like the hydra all over again. One second, I'm going to die, the next...I do something awesome. And I'm not even aware of it.
Hey look! Daring! I cheerfully waved to her. The explorer pushed her way out of the still-stunned crowd, quickly joined by Coconut. "Hi!" I said. Oh, wait! They've never met before! Better introduce them. "Daring, this is-"
"-Coconut. We're already acquainted." Daring patted the big guy on the shoulder, who looked at the spot she touched him like it had turned to solid gold. She looked around. "Uh, we should probably get going, now."
Coconut snapped out of his daze. "Yep. And I gotta talk to ya, mate. Frost was here - probably planned this whole thing."
I scoured the crowd, squinting in vain to try and find my elusive adversary. No such luck availed me. The mayor of Wethoof had yet to actually meet me face to face. And yet, I was strangely glad for that. Things would probably get ugly if we did.
A commotion on the far side of the crowd got my attention. The pirates parted as five familiar figures cut through them, each armored in the signature forest-colored barding of the Wethoof Town Guard, except for the lead, who wore a battered, but polished, silver curiass.
Captain Tythus, flanked by his lieutenants; Cloud Nine, Sparky, and Baritone, trained withering gazes on the pirates as they reached the center of the pit. Ginger Snap, who brought up the rear, broke off and approached us.
"Heard the commotion. Sorry it took so long," she grunted. She adjusted the thick black goggles now around her neck and turned to look at the others, who had begun to drag the dazed gryphon mercenary out of the wreckage. Tythus's horn sparked to life, surrounding him in a thick, semi-transparent golden sphere, which he levitated easily.
Some of the pirates made forwards as if to save their leader. Sparky crouched; intense sparks began shooting off her mane and coat. Cloud Nine threateningly whipped opened her wings, sending a powerful gust of wind out the ruffled the manes of everypony present. Baritone growled and stomped a single hoof to the ground. A ring of cracks spiraled out from the point of impact. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," he rumbled.
"Ginger Snap, escort Echo to someplace safe - preferably away from the barracks. He would be expected there," Tythus barked. "Hold until nightfall. I'll signal when it's time for action." He glanced at the captive gryphon. "As for you..." he growled, "We're going to have a chat."
Griffin the gryphon scowled, before attempting to cleave his way out of the sphere. The sword hit the barrier and bounced back, vibrating like a metal tuning rod. As the four brave guards left the circle, dragging his prison with them, he put his talons up onto it and looked back pleadingly.
I gave him the finger.
"We'll head back to my room in the tavern. It's a safe place to stay until nightfall," Daring whispered. Ginger nodded in agreement, and turned to go, intent on making a speedy exit (stage left) before the other pirates came to their senses. She bumped into something.
Surprisingly, I found Disarray standing before us, in his alicorn form and tye-dye robe, looking at the wreckage of the pirate's tent. He gave me a gleeful look and cracked a cheeky grin.
"Now that's what I call a Falcon Punch!" he proclaimed, pointing to the destroyed tent.
My facepaw could be heard in the halls of Asgard. Also, I may have given myself a concussion, or made an already existing one extremely worse.
"Disarray! Just where were you when all of this went down?!" Daring got up in his face. "You could have stopped this before it started!"
"Er...who is this?" Coconut asked me, eyeing the disguised alicorn. Disarray was quite lanky in this form, and stood much taller than he, something I bet upset him a little. Ginger looked confused as well. I realized she didn't know about Disarray's interesting bloodline, nor his ability to shift forms.
I wearily sighed. "This is Disarray. He's a friend...I think. We'll explain it later."
"That's Disarray...?" Ginger murmured. "The buck is going on here?"
I shrugged. The last time I had any idea of what was really going on, I was in a lonely coffee shop, discussing the theoretical physics of magic with a crusty old fart in a tracksuit.
"Mate, you seem to run into the strangest ponies." Coconut snorted derisively.
Somewhere, somehow, Discord was probably laughing his ass off. Bastard. He had been right, though. I do seem to run into rather extreme situations...
Meanwhile, the argument continued: "I've said it once, I'll say it twice: I'm here for when you need me. Not when you want me," stated Disarray to a fuming Daring Do. "Although, I could see why you wanted me. I know I'm handsome, but please, mare. Control yourself."
Daring made a curious noise of exasperation, before pulling her pith helmet over her head. Several muffled curses issued forth from the muted pegasus. She finally emerged. "I think this qualifies as a need situation. He could have died!"
"Ah, but did he?"
Nope! And I've no idea how I pulled that off! Blech. I need a drink. Hopefully there's some hard cider at Daring's place.
"No...well...still. He could have!"
"He is alive, therefore, you didn't need my assistance. Bam! Argument won. Score, team me." He stuck a hoof out and pointed it at her. "La-hoooo! Zaaaa-her!" He narrowed his eyes at her and poked her in the chest. "Loser!"
Whisssssh-CRACK!
"Agh! Hey, put that thing away! No fair!" Disarray cried, as he was promptly chased away by Daring Do, who was wielding her whip with surprising accuracy. The pegasus uttered several more expletives through the whip in her mouth as she tore off after him.
"Help! Dominatrix on the loose! She'll break out the fuzzy pink hoofcuffs next! Run for your lives! Hide 'yo wife, hide 'yo foals, and hide 'yo husband too, 'cuz she rapin' everypony up in here!" Disarray screamed from somewhere ahead.
Whisssssh-CRACK!
Wow. She's really freaking good with that thing. Why do I suddenly feel jealous of Disarray?
"THIS IS TOO KINKY FOR ME! AAAUGH! OW-OW-OW!"
Coconut and I exchanged a glance, while Ginger buried her face in one hoof, muttering something dark under her breath.
"...We should probably go now."
"...Yup."
Authour: I wrote this entire chapter on 4/19. Then I went to a party. Then I woke up. I looked at my watch (it has date and time). It was 4/21. I logged onto FIMfiction. The chapter had been erased, and this fanart below was there instead. I have no idea what this chapter was like originally.
What the hell did I do on 4/20, you ask?
...Your guess is as good as mine. I invite you to come up with a silly story for what I did that day. I triple diamond dog dare you.
But... I think this is a good representation of whatever it was I did. Cheers, everypony!
by: murkrowzy from deviantART.com
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Beautiful!
i.imgur.com/XCKha.gif
I KNOW.
489469
well done though i do believe your party on 4/20 may have ended with some very unlikely things happening but if you see someone named Tobias Heindrech walk away
No more drinking for you.
A silly story you say... challenge accepted!
489802
MY WHISKEY. GET BACK, I SAY!
489815
Oh! I hope I get shot out of a cannon!
Hold on a minute. Isn't Echo's spear immune to magic?
489854
Yup! The blunting spell could be considered as a compression of the atmosphere surrounding the edge. Not the weapon itself, rather the enviroment around it.
That picture
489871 I would argue the point (heh), but hey, it's magic, you ain't gotta explain shit
Huh, that's a bit different from Blackwing's pespective. Not going to complain; was nice to see this viewpoint, even if the events were different. I can completely understand not wanting to tie yourself down to everything already mentioned in Griffin the Griffin.
Also, getting drunk are we? Hmm... now I want to know what you did on 4/20...
All of my yes!
schweet! new chapter
this is like, 15 kinds of awesome. also, if th' stories are to be believed, i might know what you did on th' 20th'
that picture.......crash bandicoot
Griffin got powned, hard
This pleases Morboe!
I laughed for a solid minute when I got to the end. Man I needed that...
I'd say you were stuck in a time loop, and can't remember it.
That's what you get for trying to do the Time Warp drunk
A silly story you say?
ponychan.net/chan/int/src/131385713797.jpg
Beer makes good chapters!!!
oh daring do
you could be kinky with me all you want
Yay i love this story!
Great chapter this verison of the Griffin pirates is very different for one thing Gilda and Trixie aren't members of the pirate crew makes me wonder if Echo will meet them later on and how. I also wonder just who Disarray was talking to for that matter was the may really talking to himself? Will Echo run into any changelings in the future?
you were drunk of your ass in las vegus rubbing a cheese burger on your oh no that was griffin or blackwing or both better yet you got teleported to a mlp:fim minecraft crossover world doing crazy shit
lol even i've never missed an entire day
sounds like the hangover, just sayin. aloat of crazy shit happened in that movie, and im sure you dont even want to know what happened to you.
*see's update*
FUCK YOU SLEEP, I NEVER NEEDED YOU ANYWAYS!!!
*reads*
4/20 you say? My friend, I was hanging out at a friend's place out of town that day. He is a brony and rather open about it since he lives on his own, and I draw tribal art. We woke up on 4/21 and discovered a whole wall done up in pony, tribal style. I don't even WANT to know what was in that shit but he now has a wall-o-epicness.
Great job looking forward to the next chapter.
489834 Well if you wanna play it that way.... - dresses up like a french swordfighter - HAVE AT THEE!
"With what? No...no, no no. We know what we need to do," the mayor quietly said to himself. Cconut pressed his face into the side of the box, straining to hear.
Cconut!? WRNG! I DAER SYA YUO HAEV MAED AN ERRRO!
Also, I gave him the finger. Didn't you say in chapter one that you only had four fingers? Thus making it impossible to give somegryphon a middle finger?
If you don't feel a searing pain in your ass and there are no warrants out for your arrest, does it really matter? I'd say you had a productive day then.
Woohoo! New chapter!
Don't drink responsibly, drink awesomely! Seriously thought I hope Echo learns to use that spear of his, because not knowing how to use the weapon you have, is much more dangerous than knowing how you use the weapon you don't have.
Also congratulations on breaking the word limit for a novel!
So what we get drunk. So what we smoke weed. We're just havin fun. We don't care who sees. So what we got out, that's how it's suppose to be! Livin young, and wild, and free~! great chapter, although I do have to wonder what griffin's reaction to the punch was...
*grabs side of his face and rocks back and forth*
Griffin: shhhhhh ahhhhh
Griffin: shhhhhhh ahhhhhh
Great job, keep goin and stay golden^^
Beast...
This chapter was frigging BEAST~!
Oh and i laughed my ass off at daring and Dissaray
You drunk?
Suddenly disturbing images of cheeseburgers have invaded my mind
Also I think Daring would rather be whipping Echo.
If you know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no mo, say no more!
oh goody goody new chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, the wedding already happened? I thought this was right after return to harmony
hold on a tick. Disarray mentions the Cadanza's wedding, but didnt this story just mention Discord's defeat? Has a whole season worth of episodes passed during the course of a few chapters in this story? The story makes is seem like it has only been a few days since Discord's defeat.
I would say challenge accepted but the writer bit of my brain seems to have shriveled up and died.
Darn.
The one thing I did not particularily like was the fact that the Gryphon did not gain a grievous injury, but that's just psychotic ole' me
490777
Maybe that's what happened on 4/20.
How long has Echo been in Equestria again? Because I remember when he first got there it was the season 2 premiere, and now you're saying that Cadence is already married, so I ask again, how bloody long has Echo been in Equestria. Also I hope to see changelings incorporated somehow.
Wouldn't Ginger recognized Disarray?
This chapter is MUCH to sexy for me. My body is not ready.
"Help! Dominatrix on the loose! She'll break out the fuzzy pink handcuffs next! Run for your lives! Hide 'yo wife, hide 'yo foals, and hide 'yo husband too, 'cuz she rapin' everypony up in here!"
Congratulations, we've now discovered that you can, in fact, kill someone with humor. I am now a laughter zombie.
Also, I think I get where you're going with the whole hearing voices thing. The only question remaining in my mind is why the DD clan needed so many gems for whatever it is they were doing
I want names for Dissaray's Counsins.
And oh god what you had Dissaray say there at the end, I'm dyin here thank you very much.
That whole 'Blunting spell'... I have to ask... did you get that idea from the inheritance books or did you come up with it on your own? It sounds awfully similar.
Aside from that, lul'd my ass off at the end there. Epic chapter, keep it up.
You misspelled Coconut as " Cconut " at one point, figured I would point that out.
None the less, good chapter, and Disarray always makes me smile. But I have to ask, what is your take on Alicorns? Are they all 'powerful' or immortal? Or just kind there? I figure the immortal thing since the Twins seem to know Disarray.
Daring Do x Discord. NEW SHIPPING HAS BEEN CREATED!!