Hello. I'm not sure what to go by. You see I have been fighting with my gender identity for a while now and a couple of compounding factors seem to constantly keep me on the edge of being able to say definitively where I stand. I'm currently seeing a therapist to try and work through my identity and other issues. Progress is slow, but it is being made. I feel like this is a place where I can share, so I hope I don't get too long winded.

Where to start? Where to start? I'm 29 and have been "dealing" with my dysphoria for, well, at least over ten years now. I've been trying to come to terms with my identity, but every time I come close to saying "I'm a MtF transgender," or some other answer, some new doubt or fear seems to always pull me back into indecision. As you can imagine, this indecision can feel maddening at times. I just want to have one definitive answer, but I keep on pulling back just before I can say I have one.

This might be getting a little to personal for an introduction, but I've started and, well it's hard to stop once I get going. To be honest, one of the reasons I am writing here is on my therapist's suggestion. She suggested I seek transgender groups where I can find support. Since I am already a brony, so joining this group seemed like a good choice.

Getting back on topic, in my many hours spent trying to deal with my identity, I've gone so far as to choose a proper female name for myself. I picked Michelle, or Mikki for short for my first name and Violet for my middle name. However, I have not yet been able to find the courage to have anyone address me by it yet. I honestly haven't told anyone other than counselors about this outside of the internet. But again, when I get close to committing to something, even something as small as asking my counselor to address me by my female name or female pronouns, I get scared and back away.

The thoughts of transitioning and going on hormone therapy are like a distant dream for me. I try to take steps toward being comfortable with myself, but I always ended up finding some excuse to shy away from anything that could lead to some commitment or being open about it on a more public scale. I want to say more, but that would probably be best left to a thread of my own. I just hope that I can be welcome here and maybe find some of the support I need to work my way through the fog of my gender identity.

I didn't know where to put this.

A few hours ago I finally psyked myself up enough to ask myself a few questions. What happened was that I pictured myself going to a hair salon and getting my first women's haircut, and I imagined showing it to people and them saying I look gorgeous, and just the thought of it happening like that made me so happy that I started to cry.

I think I'm starting to figure myself out.

4874014

Oh boy.

I am a transgirl, and m!y chosen name is Gabrielle. I am 23 years old and I live in the USA. I am the scion of a very conservative family, and until recently, I have never been able to be my true self. Then I moved out and started to open up a little. I met a my girlfriend soon after and we're talking about moving in together. I never had access to hormones, but i never minded, mostly because i was always very feminine, and could easily pass for a biological female, so my body never bothered me too much.

Everything was going fine, until about a year ago, when my sister committed suicide. She was younger than me by about seven years, and I was not as good a sister as I should have been. She always defied our parents and everything they stood for and was always running off with the wrong crowds. I was always to self absorbed to notice that she was getting worse. After I moved out, my parents disowned me, and I lost touch with her. Then one day they called me and told me what had happened. Apparently, she had been harming herself without anyone knowlage, and then she, just finished it.

I cannot describe the effect this had on me, I quit my job, shut !myself out, and stopped eating or drinking. The only reason I'm alive is because my partner (to whom I am eternally grateful) dragged me kicking and screaming to a ward. I am recovering, due to my loving partner, my loyal friends and (to a lesser extent) this wonderful show and fandom.

I will never learn why she did what she did, and that will haunt me for the rest of my life, but I am healing, and I am alive.

Thank you.

I just told someone about myself!

I doubt he will have a problem with it because, hello, he supports the LGBT...but I have to wait to hear back from him over Facebook! *waiting, please stand by*

5082157 it did.

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*Whispers, hi PEv senpai*

Anyways, after checking, I find myself absent from this thread so I'll introduce myself.
I, as I am known on FiMFic, am Middy. I chose the name 'Midnight Evans', for when I transition, because Midnight was the name I became known under and accepted under. As for Evans, forgive me, but my love for Harry Potter is intense. I am MtF and generally, if I have to say, more leaning towards females in physical attraction. I'm all for romance with either person. I'm a somewhat troubled 17 year old, dealing with PTSD, ADHD, a few mental disorders and I lack much self-esteem.

I live with a pretty obnoxious family who thinks being trans is a joke, hence me hiding in the closet. Anyways.
Hello, I'm Middy. Nice to meet you all.

I'll stick with my online name. You can call me either Darth or Rainbow. I'm 24 years old. I love to read and write and draw.

But hello everybody. I'm not a trans but I do find them interesting.

Hewwo... My name is Lia, im am stuck in the closet when it comes to being transgender for multiple reasons, one including romance and love... i joined to find a place where i can be who i want without being riduculed or hurt... so... yea...

Hello everyone! I'm Ash, 22, genderfluid, and bisexual. (I use the 'two or more' definition for myself). It's been a lifelong experience that I started questioning about three years ago and finally accepted 1.5 years ago. Funnily enough, on male-aligned days, I'm more of a pretty boy and on female-aligned days, I present more masculine. (There's also days b/w and outside the two, but whatevs). I also have a gf who's trans. She's my rock and I love her to bits.

I'm currently in my senior year of college. I'm an English major with a minor in Gender Studies. I've been active in various fanfic communities for roughly 12 years now. Tbh, I stopped caring about grimdark stories like four years ago. Now, I just want to see my fav gays kiss. I feel like that's where I'm currently at in my life too. I just need happy shit.

Anyhoo, if anyone needs to talk about stuff, my inbox is open. Beyond the average trans issues, I've dealt with depression, anxiety, and PTSD for almost as long as I've been writing thanks to various types of abuses and sexual traumas. I know it can be rough, especially for younger folks (pfft like I'm actually old) that don't have a lot of life experience. I'm here for you, even if you just want idle talk.

On paper for now its Tyler, hoping to change that to Jessica... Eventually. I'm 17, and well mtf. Have yet to act on any transition, mostly due to it being taboo to my family and religion, but once I'm able to live on my own like I'm not gonna care about being disowned lol.

So like, hi :3

5492650 Hiya! Nice to meet you! Jessica is a pretty name!

5492650
Welcome to this place amongst friendships and joy. Hope you'll enjoy your stay, Jessica.:3

5498264 Nice to meet you as well, and aww thanks :3

5498628 I do hope to enjoy it, a place where I can be me.. Wonderful.

How did I not know about this group?!

My name is Christy, I'm a 40-year old trans-woman, getting ready to transition soon (as soon as I can get a higher paying job to cover the costs of the transition). I've got a wonderful daughter, a...difficult ex-wife, and two cats.

I'm...not that great at talking about myself.

6047646
Welcome to this place amongst friendships and joy. Hope you'll enjoy your stay! You're not alone in that, Christy. .3

6047659
Thank you! I'm noticing that the more I find other trans-folks, the better I feel about myself, so I'm super happy to have found this group.

Been in this group for a little bit, but never have actually posted on the the introductions. So figured I take the time now.

Hi! I'm Heather. I am a bit older, but not too old, at 37 years old. I have been on hormones for a little over 4 years. Not a lot to say about me. I keep largely to myself and am considered very shy by my friends. I read, I play a few video games, spend time listening to music, fret about my lack of love life.....I am like an teenager except in her 30s. Most people who meet me typically think I am ten to twelve years younger than I am based on my looks and disposition. I work in a call center making hotel reservations all day and it is an interesting job that I enjoy.

I spend a lot of time reading on this site because it is non stop free reading and enjoy the MLP fandom. Have done a little writing, but still very rough with it. The writing is a work in progress.

As someone who has been out for a while I don't really need much in the way of support. But always willing to help anyone else who needs help. Just saying hi and glad to be here!

Hello. . . I'm loops. I'm Transgendered, Asexual, Christian and so very scared. I want to transition, but that more than likely won't happen. I, due to medical reasons, more than likely cannot have HRT. The reason is cancer, it's also why I'm an only child. I'm sort of closeted right now. I just want to not be the monster I see in the mirror. I just want to be me. Does anyone have any good ideas to help me to transition and feel like myself without hormones?

Hiya huns.

I'm a 33 yr old, US Veteran, Transfemale. After 13 yrs of being shoved back into the closet by my family (and no access till recently, to any transgroups (or knowledge of any XD.)). But my brother-in-law (FtM) came out to my family and was given some support. Which gave me the courage to came out, and ended up moving to a safe place.).

Since then I live out in public as Ashanna, and have a really good experience so far. People come up to me and strike random conversations, I get compliments, and treated as a woman. I can only expect that to be better after August 3rd, when I can speak to my psychiatrist to start HRT. I came out on the 21st; and two days ago I came out to Facebook and here on Fimfiction. So that makes everyone.

Really all but my mom, and grandparents have been really great. My mom, not only doesn't want me around her if I'm going to be dolled up, or looking like a women. But totally forgot about the times I came out before, and she berated me, made me feel like garbage, then kept it up till I complied (which I'm not doing ever again).

My life goals are now are to just be happy with me, start HRT, finish my transition in 3 - 6 yrs, and find a nice woman one of these days.

Welp, that about describes me. Have a wonderful day y'all, and hope life's going well for you.

I doubt I'll be posting much of anything, but I figure I might as well say 'hi' since I finally decided to join the group.

I'm... 28? 29 this month? Something like that. It's hard for me to keep track these days. In pony circles I generally go by my pony's name, which is Silver Wing. And there's the start of the reason why I'm here, of course. I'm biologically male, and am not dysphoric about that... though I also heavily identify as my pony, who is a mare (as well as having other female personas previous to the pony stuff). So I guess that makes me non-binary? I've never really put too much stock in explicit terminology, though more and more these days I find myself ready and prepared to explain my 'gender weirdness', as I tend to refer to it, to people I meet in my online social groups. I've never really identified as fully trans, though I've had... curiosity maybe? For a long time. I'm not really uncomfortable with my biological... stuff, though I do sometimes feel like if I just one day poof, swapped, I might be /more/ content, though that still doesn't make me discontent /now/. These days I'm just comfortable being 'me' and that mostly entails being both genders at different times, I guess.

I just figured I wanted to embrace what little identity I seem to have developed before I lost my nerve.

6501647
I'm kind of in a similar situation to you there; I'm AMAB but identify as my OC who is intersexed and third-gendered so I'd definitely fall underneath the non-binary/genderqueer umbrella. I do have dysphoria about how ponies treat me in the social realm though.

Anyways, welcome to the group!

6351873
Well, you can wear feminine clothing, use she/her pronouns, and change your name. You can shave your body, too. There are surgeries, hair removal treatments, breast implant surgeries, and et cetera that can be used for physical transition.

I don't get how estrogen relates to cancer though; it isn't a carcinogen. Are you worried about how it might interact with cancer treatments? Cuz cisgender women turn out just fine and they have plenty of estrogen in their blood. If you're worried about the estrogen not being bio-identical you can always get a bio-identical version and there are ways to get the estrogen into your body in (relatively) more natural ways than others e.g. through an implant. And you don't have to take anti-androgens (which can cause liver problems and saturate certain receptors in your brain (if I can recall, at least one of them is a receptor that diphenhydramine/DPH (Benadryl) acts on)); you can always get an orchiectomy instead.

With all that said, I suppose I should re-introduce myself here, too. I've been here for a while but a lot of stuff has happened and I'm basically a different (crazier) pony at this point.

Hey! My name's Quinn! I used to be known on here as Measure Theory or Agnes Hart but rebranded because of significant changes in my identity, personality, beliefs, mental state, practices, et cetera. I'm 18, almost 19. I live in Washington State on an island just a ferry ride away from Seattle.

Up until recently, most of my interests except my interests in sociology and economics were squashed by my major depressive disorder which basically evaporated recently due to some life experiences I'd rather not mention here for fear of being unjustly judged. Now all I have is my anxiety disorder to deal with (I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder) which can sometimes compound with my high-functioning autism to become kind of a mess but whatevs. I deal.

My interests include sociology, economics, mathematics, physics, writing, songwriting, drawing, philosophy, and reading.

As of the aforementioned life experiences I'd rather not mention here for fear of being unjustly judged, I'd describe my personality as roughly alternating between two separate personalities.

When I'm in a good mood, I'm chill -- borderline hippie material. Y'know, calm optimism about the future and all that corny stuff. "It'll be okay, man. Now, just relaaax, come lay down and snuggle with me here. There's no rush." I'll be very loving, have a high ego, and treat others like they are more valuable than anything else on the face of the planet.

When I'm in a bad mood, I'm confrontational, angry, without any self-esteem, and borderline misanthropic; I'll talk about literally killing off humanity. I'll state that I have no worth and no-one else has any worth, that we're all disgusting, and deserve to die.

The contrast between these two personalities kind of freaks everypony around me out, justifiably so. They eventually get used to it though, and some of them even appreciate it -- I don't know why, though.

My relationship with the mainstream LGBT community is ... iffy. Gender-wise, I'm male-to-intersex, third-gender, androgyne, genderflux and I use ze/zir pronouns which can cause a lot of unnecessary drama because for some reason some ponies, even in the LGBT community, are exorsexists or will create needless drama surrounding me using certain pronouns (which, by the way, I use because they/them feels like linguistic exclusion of my identity from the English language). As a result, even when entering mainstream LGBT spaces, I hold everypony away at a leg's length. Also, since I'm an equine-kin, I sometimes get mistreated because somehow my existence "invalidates" transgender ponies or something nonsensical like that.

So um, yeah, I think that's all I needed to say. Nice to meet you!

6505293
With few exceptions, all of the female members of my family have had estrogen eating cancers triggered by hormonal changes. I'm afraid that the same will happen to me. I don't want to die.

I don't want to die.

6505671
Oh damn. I'm sorry about that.

But yeah, physically transitioning is possible, just more expensive.

6505694
Oh. . . Well, changing my name and gender is easy in my state, but. . . Surgeries won't happen any time soon. Got to love being an art student. . .

woo. . .

Hi I'm Raichu! I'm the age of any normal adult Raichu. I am not trans and am straight. I'm like to write and I write here too! I'm in college and enjoy many hobbies, of which include but are not limited to: watching tv and movies, playing video games of all kinds, and writing. I also kind of like to draw and sculpt but I suck at it.

Hm, I was scanning this thread for my favorite pony (should be easy to figure out from my favourites, and/or my blogs here and elsewhere, but just for my own fun lets spell it out load: Chatoynce), but saw no traces of her!
This was quite a suspense! Actually, even if I'm still like to read something, in late years I found I like fiction less and less, and more like real, or at least real-based stories. Because nearly everything created by Chatoyance hit me so heavy and as very true/resonant - I definitely followed into her story. This was my introduction into transsexuality. I don't think I have something comparable, but ...there is not so little part of my life revolving around need to care about/help various non-humans (dolphins, horses, dogs ... and other, less-known, but none the less real). I think I have quite a lot of issues with my own words sounding nearly fake to even me myself - so, instead of retelling things I already put on virtual paper I'll just make some thread here for reposting my own old emails .... so you will have some idea about who I ..was? is? It will be just one thread, so hopefully you will be not drowned in notifications .....

Ah, and this part - I'm nearly 38 years old, male, asexual (or this is fancy word for virgin? well I don't do this sex thing, even if I read about it ... and think/talk about it, probably more now than I did before .. like, before year 2013. When I sort of found quite contraversional book about ..you can guess it, sex/love/romance with dolphin, so I just said to myself 'huh, if this booring and SO mainstream thing called s.e.x. actually can be related to dolphins I probably must check this out!' And I checked ..for quite some time (thinking about mostly unthinkable for me before things, and ideas. This sex/love thing turned out to be quite .. interesting, with some _depth! But, again, semi-intellectual intercourse still much more interesting thing for me to try and engage with than ...usual type of intercourse .. )

So, if people here agree with me making my own little corner thread - I'll do exactly this, with some late commentary on my earlier .....emails and try to add some context.

I really think my actions must speak louder than my words (and I'm not a writer of required calibre! for what I wish to do ..) - but here over Internet basically all I have IS words ... so, if you don't mind I'll spill some of them here ....

7254363

asexual (or this is fancy word for virgin?

Not exactly. Virginity means you haven't had sex. Asexuality is the reason why. :)

7254382
Yeah, while I definitely had 'wet dreams' (even literaly - there is some connection in my head between water ... and... e-action). I also think I'm anarchist and atheist - anarchist because I surely dislike all those dominant hierarchical structures, like I, personally, do not want to be part of them (and strongly prefer other humans also to be aware about them). My Atheism might be some strange result of internalization of 'spoken values' in late USSR - but then, even if it was just internalized propaganda - I at this point definitely don't feel need to add divine (?) in my lines of thinking.. but I try to be open to cases when humans use something supernatural (?) as real reason to make themselves more ..sensitive, supportive, but also aware about types of opressors they better not support (equal support of heroes and villains definitely not my idea of making world suck less.... of course, if only there was way to turn real-world villains into caring and sensitive ponies ..unfortunately, this remain far-stretched type of fiction!)

hiya, my name is Nia and I'm MtF. I like writing stories, and playing games. I joined the fandom in 2012 and have been a fan ever since. I don't really know what else to say except have a wonderful day!

I'm Petal Chatoyance. I've always identified as a unicorn, long before the first My Little Pony even existed. I have no idea how, or why.

In real life, I'm Jennifer, and I've got some history. I'm an MtF transwoman. My pronouns are 'She' and 'Her'.

I went through complete transition back in the early 80's, when I was 21, as soon as I possibly could. I was pretty much a textbook transsexual, except for being asexual with a lesbian bent. Kinsey 4, maybe? I am currently sixty-one. If you are interested, here is the overly pink story of my transition back then.

I've done some online comics forming a trilogy of a strange sort.

Here on Fimfiction, I write hard science fiction literature. About a million and a half words, overall, spread over 27 works, mostly novels, with a few short story anthologies. I don't do fantasy, and all of the apparent 'magic' in any of my stories is actually just (eventually explained in detail) super advanced technology and physics. So, yes, I am a nerd.

I live in a polyamory. My three spouses have been with me for about forty years (it varies, spouse to spouse, we joined at different times, about a year apart). My family is my treasure, and I could not exist without them. One of them writes here, a little, under the name Aedina. The other two Care Not For Ponies. They care about my writing, they do always support and encourage me - they just aren't fans of MLP, as such.

In my life I have been a game designer, a game artist, an author, a cartoonist, and for a brief time I ran the most popular games website on the planet (Happy Puppy Games). I've had a very eccentric and unusual life at every level, in every way.

I love animals, and they seem to love me. I especially love dogs, though cats seem to especially love me - which is sad, because I am horrifically allergic to them. I am also allergic to horses, but I know where that came from - from years of taking premarin hormone pills. PREgnant MAre urINe. Seriously. That is where that pharmaceutical name comes from. Weird, huh? But that is where natural hormones are derived. It was discovered by the Chinese around 300 BCE, if memory serves. So, yeah, I try to learn all the time.

I also have a really strange, and poor memory. It protected me, before my transition, but now... it can be a burden and a blessing. It's a burden if I want to remember a phone number. It is a blessing if I want to read a book or watch a movie again and again as if for the very first time. I can re-enjoy things every year, or every other year, as if I had never experienced them before. That actually is a huge blessing in life.

I am kind of childlike. I never got to have a childhood, so I am having one forever, instead. I love games, toys, and silly and fun things. I love video games so very much. My room is filled with toys like a toyshop would be. A lifetime of collecting beautiful, fun things.

Oh, and I'm also a furry. No surprise there, I suppose.

So yes, I am weird, not just Queer As Fuck and trans to boot. And very proud of it. Although being trans, and/or queer, can be a misery at times, entirely because of cruel and bigoted Other People, I honestly feel that being trans is also a very special gift. I think it is healthy to think of it that way, if you can.

"I am convinced that the only people worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones. For the common folk are like leaves of a tree, and live and die unnoticed." - The Scarecrow of Oz, from 'The Marvelous Land of Oz' by Frank L. Baum

Hello everypony!

I go by the username TheMysteryMuffin or the name Anastasia. I considering transitioning from male to female. Much of my time is writing pony fiction, writing non-pony-related content, making movies, sleeping and cuddling, playing video games and travelling. I've written The Armada Trilogy, I Am Not a Monster and You Are Fluttershy.

I am bisexual polyamorous and a Christain (surprise).

I love animals.

Uh, hi everyone, bi Chilean here, also author of pony words. Honestly, IDK what to say, because I've been asking around for queer friendly groups for a while now (a lot of bad experiences with queerphobia as of lately on the site), and it never crossed my mind to put "LGBT" on the search bar.

So, that. Hope I don't bother anyone, and hi to everyone.

Edit: so I'm trans too.

Hey there! I'm finally getting back on the site after a few years of radio silence, and wanted to find some community as a nonbinary person! I use they/them exclusively and am excited to get back into the foray of writing fanfics!

7862366
Welcome back to the site, then.

Just an Autistic Gay Norse Pagan with a belief that all people deserve rights.

I just came out, and I guess it makes sense to reintroduce myself to add "trans" to my general description.