Page generated in 0.021 seconds
Total duration
1,060 users online
2,117,102 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ah, opening with a flashback?
"she recited in her mind"
"I recited in my mind"?
"unabling me to move"
...Hm. You know, that probably should be a word, a negative counterpart to "enabling", and I think that the meaning's clear in context. I'm also not at the moment thinking of a more correct and as succinct way to say this (sorry). Still, you might want to look at this.
Ah, seems more like a dream sequence than a flashback.
Ah, yes.
"outshooting the noise"
"outshouting"?
Loud train, sounds like. Then again, under the circumstances, I imagine it's enough work to keep a train usefully running at all, much less with quiet smoothness.
"banished me; but how"
"banished me, but how"
"first of such a dream"
"the first occurrence of such"?
"come cutting"
"come to cutting"?
"very beautiful and I liked it"
"very beautiful, and I liked it"?
"and may be necessary"
"maybe"
"write a doctor thesis"
"doctoral"?
"direction from where the shot came from"
"direction the shot came from"
"she might had something"
"she might have had something"?
"began to raise"
"began to rise", if she's standing up?
"upon a medicine book"
"upon a medical book"?
"thought had been violently interrupted as the actual train had suddenly stopped. At least, I assumed so; how else could the fact that I’ve been send flying across the car’s floor while surrounded by a cacophony of screeching sound be"
"thought was violently interrupted as the actual train suddenly stopped. At least, I assumed so; how else could the fact that I’d been sent flying across the car’s floor while surrounded by a cacophony of screeching sounds be"?
"emergency breaks"
"brakes"
"by out abrupt"
"by our abrupt"
"pulled the breaks"
"brakes"
"my experiments records"
"my experiments' records" or "my experiment records"?
"private, my"
"private; my"?
"bad could happen"
"bad can happen?"
"became clear to what"
"became clear what"?
"a caravan through the train track"
"across" or "along" instead of "through", I'd say, depending on which was the case.
"Why the train was coming"
"Why was the train coming"
"smiling friendly"
"smiling friendlily"
"Basing on what Apple Core"
"Based on what Apple Core"
"caravan had been going through the train track"
See above.
"say with the New Appleloosa’s"
"say with New Appleloosa’s"?
"back and Apple"
"back at Apple"
"we had ended up getting"
"we ended up getting"?
"if we’d trot the"
"if we trotted the"?
"those weren’t characteristics that"
"the characteristics"?
"one I had tried numerously to try and eat"
Hm... "one I had attempted often to eat"? Is that about what you were meaning there?
"Apple Core, who was standing"
"Apple Core was standing"
"I had encountered"
"I have encountered"?
"to those brahmins"
"to these brahmin"?
"species had mutated"
"species has mutated"?
"different level or interest"
"different levels of interest"?
"intelligence level"
"intelligence levels"?
"head I’ve been touching"
"head I’d been touching"?
"if I’d conduct exploratory"
"if I conducted exploratory"?
"as I raised from the ground"
"rose"
"such rudely and"
"such a rude and"?
"She looked at me, bemused way"
..."She looked at me in a bemused way"?
"that everypony began moving"
"that everypony'd begun moving"?
"back to cars"
"back into cars"?
"audio log run normally"
"audio log ran normally"?
"if I’d conduct exploratory"
See above.
"have been told earlier I"
"have been told before that I"?
"Instead a merely"
"Instead I merely"?
"keep that trigger happy pegasus"
"keep that trigger happy pegasus away"?
"that we would engage"
"that we could engage"?
"the tribe that had killed"
"the tribe that killed"?
"mention about brahmin"
"mention brahmin"?
"reached New Appleloosa limits"
"reached New Appleloosa's limits"?
"we had a long travel"
"we've had a long trip"?
"if we’d talk"
"if we talked"
"why I had been sent"
"why I have been sent"
"some medicine supplies"
"some medical supplies"?
"Appleloosa, then I had to buy them from him; an arrangement"
"Appleloosa, and then I had to buy them from him, an arrangement"?
"nodded to my question"
"nodded at my question"?
"without medic"
"without a medic"?
"some mercenaries had come"
"some mercenaries came"?
"attempt from gaining"
"attempt at gaining"?
"specimen comes out"
"specimen goes out"?
"that much older from her"
"that much older than her"?
"Even if she would"
"Even if she was"?
"ponies in bar"
"ponies in a bar"
"greeted me friendly"
"greeted me friendlily"
"she sometimes mixes"
"she sometimes mixed"?
"somewhat steady supply of them"
"somewhat steady supply of it"?
"slavers ‘ad cut"
"slavers cut"?
"hadn’t meant to joke from this"
"hadn’t meant to joke about this"?
"since by the word about slavers bein’ in town with an albino medic pony had no"
"since the word about slavers bein’ in town with an albino medic pony has no"?
"with such a disadvantage like the one Ditzy"
"with a disadvantage like the one Ditzy"?
"in a such unlady-like manner"
"in a such an unladylike manner"?
"chastened"
Did you mean "chastised"?
"treat her friendly"
"treat her friendlily"?
"Its dry eyes staring in"
"Its dry eyes stared in"?
"it; words"
"it; the words"?
"it tapped on it"
"it tapped it"?
"much to surprise of"
"much to the surprise of"?
"double-take of her"
"double-take at her"?
"who’s face by then"
"whose face had by then"?
That ending. :D
edit:
"as I throw my"
"as I threw my"?
Sorry; I got caught up in what was going on and missed this one at first. :)
Yeah! I was between stories any I was wishing one of the stories I had on follow would update. Poor Ditzy though knowing what I know about Angle I wouldn't want to be hugged by her either.
Oh, I've been waiting for this!
6616857
Oh, long time no see. It's that awesome? You could recommend that fic?
This story is amazing, can't wait for next update!
This is great. I hate to be THAT guy, but... MOAR!
If you don't mind that is
6467840 isn't the I love it with the horse mask a Tomska thing? Btw * puts on horse mask * I love it!
So I was wondering, does angel have an English accent?
This story is amazing so far. I hope you pick it back up one day. I'd love to see how things turned out.
6606181 Wow I cannot believe I completely forgot about your comment and all those pointers you gave me. I literally facepalmed when I was looking over the chapter (preparing to start writing next chapter - which will take some time, still working on master thesis - so wanted to read it over) and then saw your comment below.
I think I was busy with Fallout 4 after publishing that chapter and put off making those corrections you suggested, and later forgot about them. I hope I didn't offend you by that. Thank you very much for those suggestions^^
7345679
Oh, no offense taken; I didn't even notice. Many authors don't reply to error spotting posts, whether or not they follow up on them, and I don't usually bother to check whether the errors are still there or not. You're welcome, and good luck with the next chapter and your thesis. :)
I so so hope you intend to continue this story! Let me know if there's anything I can provide to make it happen, okay?
Im really hoping there will be more chapters
Hoofington Rises.
Hmm...didn't take Angel as the "fangasm" type. And I mean a fan of publishers and civilization, since her psychopathic nature is a direct anathema of civility...but I can understand her enthusiasm, just not the hug part- wiat, no, she deals with bodies Lal the time. Nevermind. She's perfectly justified.
I just thought it was funny how she first did her assumptions, and what Derry did with the sign thing. You can never get Derry wrong, I tell you that...unless you do.
But she's just such a universally likeable character!
6606181
Ha you missed one! ::
"Nice Catch and and Mousetrap" Delete
Its a weird catch 22, the more I like a story, the less I write since the reason that I like a story most commonly is that it is pretty flawless, so I have next to nothing to comment on... So yea see my short posts as the highest praise that I can come with.
8981796
Thanks^^
Aww, thanks
Wait... Is this a Red vs Blue Reference?!
The amazing, LB