Sepia Tock, the clockmaker of Ponyville constantly being confused with the fictitious Doctor Whoof, finds himself in an awkward situation when he loses his closest friend.

The Night Guard was once a highly regarded order, and joining the personal servants and defenders of Princess Luna herself was one of the most prestigious positions anypony in Equestria's armed forces could aspire to. Then the Princess of the Night had her little run-in with jealousy-induced insanity, and her subsequent banishment left the Night Guard in a bit of an awkward position.

Fortunately, the fact that the Night Guard was not really needed anymore never seemed to occur to anyone, and now, a thousand years later, the order is still just sort of... there. However, after centuries of neglect and a complete lack of supervision, the Guard barely resembles a military organization anymore.

Some unquestioning military bureaucrats apparently still take care of pay and hiring, and every now and then, new recruits arrive with purpose in their step and stars in their eyes, convinced that service with the Guard will allow them to achieve great things. But while those hopes unavoidably end in disappointment these days, recruits tend to acknowledge soon enough that the current state of the Guard does have its perks.

The only thing that could possibly ruin this cushy little job would be the return of Princess Luna. But it's been centuries since she was banished, and really, at this point, what are the odds of that ever happening?
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A little just-for-fun side project I did a while ago over a pretty short period of time.
Be warned, within this tale you will find:
- references to excessive alcohol consumption
- juvenile and cringeworthy innuendo
- shenanigans
May also contain trace amounts of bat ponies.

Expertly proofread and edited by the hawk-eyed, diligent, and just all around [insert positive adjective of your choice] 0_0.