Discord has been turned to stone by the power of the Elements of Harmony, but his consciousness has been left uneffected. Now powerless, he can only observe the events around him and think on his past life.

(Want more Discord? This story has a sequel! Diary of a Pliant Tyrant)

I've spent the majority of my life tilling the desolate land in which I live. Every day, I wake up to move useless rocks from one location to another. This is an archaic line of work that my family has clung to for generations. It is a dull, grey existence.

Today, I have woken up in a strange room, lying in a bed that isn't mine. I'm surrounded by five mares whom I've never seen in my life. They claim to be my friends, and expect me to bring joy to the hearts of everypony.

Joy? I don't think I've ever experienced this for myself, so how am I supposed to thrust it upon others?

My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, and I'm not sure what to make of this situation.

They say that there is a level of terribleness that, once attained can destroy anyone who dares to observe it. That level of awful was thought to be just a legend, but like bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster and Bill O'rielly, some legends really are true. Enter the show simply known as "Birdemic: Broadway", and although it sold a grand total of two tickets and critics universally labeled it as "an earnest show", its existence is a scar on human history we shan't soon forget, or maybe we will, I dunno.

Despite His prior knowledge of birdemic's bad reputation Jonathan P. Jafari and his bird Jacques made the foolish mistake of purchasing tickets to the show, forever sealing his fate. A mere ten minutes into the show, Jon suffered from a case of spontaneous exploding sending both him and Jacques to the magical land of Equestria. Now armed only with his wit, a bird and a game-boy color Jon must find a way home.

Will Jon make it home? Will Jacques finish that show he was working on? Will Egoraptor ever get to be player 1? I dunno, google that shit.

Rated teen for language