Short Hand: Dragonshy · 8:33pm Dec 5th, 2021
Consider this a rough draft...
- - -
So, our lovely mares and Shepherd had to go and try and get a dragon to leave the area around Ponyville. His 'nap' might last for a century, and the smoke he emitted would make it unlivable. However... Fluttershy was terrified of the prospect of confronting a dragon.
Frankly, so was Shepherd.
Fluttershy: "Um... I mean... Maybe we could just... Just move the town?"
Shepherd: "Fluttershy, come on. So it's a gigantic, horrible fire breathing dragon-Er, no offense Spike."
Spike: deadpan "None taken."
Shepherd: "We did defeat a mad goddess trying to bring about eternal night. I'm sure we can taken this dragon down. I mean, I've got an anti-tank rifle!"
Fluttershy: "It's still a dragon! A dragon!"
Twilight: "Fluttershy, we have to do this. So let's go!"
Dash: "Seriously! So it's a dragon, big whoop! We can handle it!"
Fluttershy: "What happened to humans who normally tried to fight dragons?"
Shepherd: "Er... Well usually in the stories, the humans slay the dragons. But they also eat us."
Fluttershy: "EEP!" Tries to hide back in her cottage
Dash grabs Fluttershy and drags her back out.
Dash: "Come on Fluttershy!"
They head up the mountain... Shepherd lugging the anti-tank rifle on his back.
Shepherd: "Huff... Huff... I see... Why they split these... Into two parts... Geez..."
Twilight: "I'm hoping to solve this without violence."
Shepherd: "Yes, but what you've hoped for and what happens are rarely similar."
Twilight: scowl
Shepherd: winces, mumbles "I'm just saying."
They finally make it to the top of the mountain.
Shepherd: "Huff... Huff... Huff... Huff... Gimme... A second..."
Pinkie: "I thought you humans had incredible stamina!"
Shepherd: "We do... On level ground..."
Dash: "Huh! Good to know~..."
Shepherd: "So, what's the plan Commander Twilight?"
Twilight: "We'll each attempt to get the dragon to leave!"
Shepherd: "Um... Okay..."
Twilight: "... What?"
Shepherd: "What? I just said 'okay'."
Twilight: scowl "Is this not a good plan?'
Shepherd: "No, no, it's a good plan. I mean, I have no personal experience with fighting dragons. I'm sure you read a book or ten on it, right?"
Twilight: "There... Isn't actually much literature on it. Aside from humans slaying them. Which is why I brought you!"
Shepherd: "Ah. That's good. I'm sure we can handle it. Anyway! Let's each give it a shot!"
Twilight: "All right. I'll go try first. With this detailed, rational, and logical petition."
Rarity: "Fine by me, Darling!"
Twilight goes in... Talks to the dragon... And soon gallops out away from a gout of flames.
Twilight: "EEEYYYAAAHHH!"
Shepherd: catches Twilight "... Negotiations not go well?"
Twilight: "Obviously!"
Rarity: "Well then, let me give it a shot!"
It takes... An hour for Rarity to make her attempt. Shepherd helps out by giving the mares massages to keep them calm.
Especially Fluttershy.
Fluttershy: "Ohhhh~... That's sooo good... But I'm still so scared!"
Shepherd: "It's okay Fluttershy..." low voice "I'm scared too."
Fluttershy: "Really?"
Shepherd: "Yeah. But being brave doesn't mean you aren't afraid. Just means that doing your job is more important than being afraid."
Fluttershy: "I-I see..."
Rarity gallops out of the cave, and screams as another gout of flames follows her.
Rarity: "My mane! And all those jewels! Oooh... I can't believe he took so much offense at me wanting his jewelry!"
Twilight: deadpan "Yes, that's the important part."
Shepherd: "Way to prioritize, Rarity."
Pinkie: "I'll go! Who can resist a good joke?" She waddles in, wearing silly clown shoes and other apparel of a 'humorous' nature.
Dash: "..." sigh "Five, four, three, two, one-"
Pinkie Pie runs out, her clothing on fire.
Pinkie: "EEYAAHH!"
Shepherd grabs a blanket and smothers the flames on Pinkie.
Pinkie: "Eep... Well... Comedy is subjective?"
Applejack: "Now now, some good old fashioned country charm oughta make that dragon change his mind!" She trots in with a cart of treats
Shepherd: "Oh boy..."
The cart is thrown out, and Applejack flees more gouts of flame.
Applejack: "AAHHH!"
The dragon, fed up, emerges from the cave.
Dragon: "YOU LITTLE PONIES... IF YOU WON'T STOP BOTHERING ME, I'LL EAT YOU ALL!"
Shepherd: "And now it's time for violence."
Dash: "YEAH!" Dash flies in and kicks the dragon in the nose.
The dragon... Roars, sending Dash crashing to the ground.
Dash: "Owww...!"
Shepherd: "Okay, now it's time for more scientific violence."
He hefts up his anti-tank rifle.
Shepherd: "Smile, you son of a-!"
BANG!
Plink!
The anti-tank round bounces off the dragon's chest armor.
Shepherd: "... Well shit."
Dragon: "OW! THAT HURT! I'LL EAT YOU FIRST!"
The Dragon grabs both Shepherd and the Ponies in his fists, save for Fluttershy.
Shepherd: Great... Going out eaten by a dragon... Hope they'll make a statue of me... Maybe tell my parents...
Fluttershy: "STOP!" She flies up and lands on the dragon's nose, glaring death into his eyes "YOU DO NOT GET TO EAT MY FRIENDS! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE BIGGER THAN US DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO BOSS US AROUND!"
Dragon: "But... But that kick and shot really hurt!"
Fluttershy: "Yes, but you've been hurting my friends all day! And your nap will kill every pony in our town! Mistakes have been made on both sides... But the only way to solve it is to talk this out and take responsibility for what we've done!"
Dragon: "W-Well..."
Fluttershy STARES.
Dragon: "... All right, I'm sorry for not... Not being considerate of others when I took a nap here."
Fluttershy: "And Dash? Shepherd?"
Dash: "Hmph... I'm sorry for kicking you... you lousy overgrown lizard..."
Shepherd: "And I'm sorry for shooting you."
Dragon: "I'm sorry for threatening to eat you ponies, and..." The dragon squints at Shepherd. "What are you? Some kind of hornless minotaur?"
Shepherd: "Uhhh... No. I'm a human."
Dragon: "Oh... A HUMAN?! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
The dragon drops everyone to the ground, and takes off in a panic. Leaving the ponies and Shepherd in a pile.
Pinkie: "Who's hand is that?"
Shepherd: "Mine... I... Anyway, sorry, I'll-"
Pinkie: "I didn't say stop!"
I'm considering it the final draft.
... Realy Pinkie? Who could it possbly be? Maybe - oh, I don't know - the only creature in the pile that has hands?
5614127
That was the joke, and Pinkie may even have been doing it on purpose in-universe.
5614129
Yeah, I figured. Just felt like pointing it out.
Am sorry am just picturing the dragon screaming lonely toon style after finding out our hero is a human 😆
"Out there in the audience - PEOPLE!"
Now I want to know what's going to happen if (or should I say 'when') Spike heads off to the Dragonlands and asks his sole non-pony friend, I.e., Shepherd, to accompany him. Will female dragons go as crazy over him as the mares?
5614428
Probably, with the guy dragons trying to kill him by proving they can kill a “big tough human”
5614428
Write that down, write that down!
5633254