October Pains, October Plans

So, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? The last time I posted a blog here, things weren’t so hot in my life. And frankly, they’re not getting much better. My mother’s cancer has likely spread to other parts of her abdomen, my father got conned out of $5,000, I’m stuck at a fast food job I hate, the jobs I want that can actually pay a livable wage are not showing up, the one decent job I have a good chance at probably isn't going to tell me if I’m accepted until mid-November if I'm even accepted at all, my brother is sinking deeper into psychosis (he threw our mother into a headlock when she annoyed him) and refuses aid of any kind (he almost came to blows with my father when he suggested my brother carry a cane to show he’s visually impaired), and my fifteen year-old dog is likely on her way out. At the time of this writing, I spent four hours last night trying to tune out her shrieks of pain as we had no more pain medication to give her.

Literally my face throughout this whole damn year.

Everything people claimed 2020 to be is what 2021 actually is for me. A complete, unrelenting nightmare that is probably going to get worse before it gets better, and it’s not exactly great right now either. If this all sounds hyperbolic, well, it’s kind of hard to be measured in my evaluation of these events when they’re happening in unrelenting fashion and (literally in some cases) keeping me awake at night. At this point, my best course of action is getting a job far away from these problems so that I can live somewhere else and receive a brief moment of peace, but in this economy, I’m probably going to be stuck in this unhappy home and unhappy state for another year.

When even being stranded on another planet sounds more appealing than everything that’s going on

With all of this being said, I’ve decided I’m going to return to writing on this site. I never really left, but everything going on in my life kind of kept me from posting here on a consistent basis. I was operating on the slightly naïve assumption that things would even out and I’d be able to come back here with a cheery personal life, but the past six months has made it clear that’s a pipe dream. Instead, I’m going to use this site as my own private therapy, writing the stories I want to drown out the dog shrieks and the fights outside my bedroom door. Not how I wanted to return here, but what I want and what I need are very different things.

Anyway, here’s a list of goals for October, as well as a few longer-term goals in the coming months. I’ll also be listing the contests I want to participate in and stories I’ll be writing in this month. These are written just as much for my sake as well as my followers, since I feel I need to have a schedule pushing me and keeping me from faltering both personally and artistically.

SHORT TERM ORGANIZATIONAL GOALS (Done by Halloween)

• Rank the Solomon Kane pulps: For those that don’t know, Solomon Kane was a character Robert E. Howard created before he wrote Conan the Barbarian. He was essentially a Puritan adventurer who fought pirates, vampires, and other monsters that threatened late 16^th and early 17^th century Europe and Africa. I’d bought the Solomon Kane story collection years ago, but didn’t get around to reading it until a few months ago. I had a lot of opinions on the stories themselves and wanted to get them down on this website, since I also wanted to do a Solomon Kane/MLP crossover in the near future (more on that in the next section).
• Quantify sequel/rewrite possibilities: As next month marks the ten year anniversary of my involvement in the fandom, it should come as no surprise that I have plenty of stories that I haven’t posted on this site. I also have lots of stories on this site that I’ve pondered about writing sequels to, but really never came to any firm decision about. So I’ll be sure to list these stories out and see if there is any momentum for me to go forward on any sequels/rewrites.
• Missed Contest Stories: I talked about how there were quite a few contests on this site that I missed in 2020 that I really should’ve been able to contribute to, but didn’t for one reason or another. Sadly, 2021 has grown to be included in this ‘missed contests’ period (though I’m putting an end to that in the writing goals section, as you’ll see). Muck like the sequel/rewrite post, this will be just me going through the contests I bookmarked and seeing if there’s any story ideas worth resurrecting, even if the prizes are not there anymore.
• Read and Discuss Filly Anon Contest: One of the few contests I did take part in last year was the Filly Anon Contest. I came in fourth place, but I never got around to reading all of the stories posted by the other authors. I figured I would do that this October, since there are a few other contests I wanted to talk about later this year. It helps that there were only 5 other stories, so it shouldn’t be too hard to read and rank them.

SHORT TERM WRITING GOALS (Done by Halloween)

• Sunset X Sunset Shimmer Contest Story: The Sunset Shimmer x Villain group is doing this interesting contest where the writer has to pair Sunset Shimmer with herself. Not terribly interested in shipping myself, but the unique premise of the contest has definitely given me some ideas about what to do. (Due Oct. 28)
• Brony’s Spooky, Cloppy Contest: Clop is one of those genres I went into hesitantly and have come out appreciating a little more. It’s actually the hardest genre I’ve ever had to write, since the purely erotic purposes are generally themes I avoid in my own work. I’ve got a good idea for this contest though, so I’m going to go full-tilt with it. (Due Oct. 31)
• Imposing Sovereigns III: Resident cool-guy FanOfMostEverything has dusted off his Imposing Sovereigns contest again, and I’m definitely going to submit something. This was one of those “Missed Contests” I mentioned above, and I really want to participate with a new idea. Here’s hoping I can make it in time! (Due Oct. 31)
• Solomon Kane Crossover: This one isn’t for a contest, but I really want to do it this month anyway. Solomon Kane is kind of perfect for a Halloween fic, and I have an idea for an MLP crossover that I think could be quite fun. (Due Oct. 31)

LONGER TERM ORGANIZATIONAL AND WRITING GOALS

• M/M Shipping Contest: Again, male on male shipping is something I don’t usually do, but I have a story idea involving Spearhead that I think could work really well. Will probably outline in October and write in November. (Due Nov. 11)
• Generation 5 Bingo Contest: I’ve been a real connoisseur of Shrink Laureate’s Bingo Contests, and the one for Generation 5 has really caught my interest. I’ve already got my card, so I’ll probably spend October outlining ideas and November writing a first draft. (Due Jan. 9)
• Read and Discuss Season 10 Bingo and Jinglemas Contests: These were the other two contests I participated in last year, but never got to read a lot of the other stories. I figured I would do the Season 10 Bingo stories for November and the Jinglemas stories in December (for obvious reasons). The Jinglemas readings will be tough, since I’ve actually done Jinglemas for the past 3 years. But hey, as I said, it'll keep me busy.
• Filthy Rich is the Best MLP Character Blog: The title says it all. But seriously, I want to write a long and descriptive blog about why Filthy Rich is the best character in MLP and why he deserves more love. Not going to put a rough date on this, since I want to go through every piece of media he appeared in and build up my arguments.
• Finish Kung Pow: Enter the Hoof: This is a now nearly six year-old story I posted when I was still a teenager. I had it in my mind that I would finish it, but I never got around to it for one reason or another. I’ve decided to put a date of the next Chinese New Year to finish it, since Kung Pow is partly a Hong Kong film and it feels in-line with the story (Due Feb. 1).
• Finish What You Give and What You Take: I didn’t spend a lot of time with Quills and Sofas, partly because their quick writing style just didn’t fit my writing habits. However, in the brief time I spent with them, I wrote this story that won the contest of that week. I really want to polish it up, since the premise was great (Discord vs. his estranged son). I’ll probably aim for finishing it in late November, but again, no promises.
• Video Essay for MLP: A New Generation: The new MLP movie on Netflix provoked a reaction in me and I feel I should convey my feelings on it. I feel like I’m one of only five people who disliked it, and I want to explain why in a way that doesn’t insult those who liked it. I thought about doing it in a long-form essay a la DannyJ, but I feel like a video essay would be more effective. I actually hope to finish the essay before I write the Gen 5 Bingo story, just so my story could address the problems I had with the movie.
• BamHoofYah! Restoration Project: I’m going to do a longer blog post for this, but I’ve been really pining to restore the BamHoofYah PMV that was premiered at BronyCon 2013 and which seems to have been largely forgotten by the fandom. I thought it was a great project and actually enjoyed it more than Ponies the Anthology 3 that premiered that same year. Anyway, I’m hoping to restore the PMV to the Internet, along with other goals I’ll go into more detail about sometime (probably November).

As a final word, I want to say don't worry too much about me. The opening paragraphs were just me trying to unload the problems I have onto a platform where it would not cause too much trouble. I don't have many people to talk to regarding my real-life problems, so this seemed like the next best choice. Few people read this blog, and I doubt those that do will jump to any conclusions, but I'll say definitively right now: I'm not depressed, mentally ill, or otherwise at risk of harming myself or others. I'm just sleep deprived and stuck in an emotional rut. At least one of these will pass, and maybe even both.

Me right now

Hell, just writing these goals down has made me start feeling better about my current situation. Hopefully I’ll be able to maintain this joviality and advance in my own life without cracking under the pressure. Thanks for reading, and I hope you will enjoy some of what I have in store for the coming weeks!

For now, me and Morissey are going to try to find ways to spend a whole day in bed.

Comments

[Miller Minus]

I wish I could give you a hug, LD. I hope things turn around for you soon, and good luck meeting your goals. 💙

[Flopple]

Sorry to hear that you’re growing through rough times, brother. Always remember that the good times are coming, no matter how bad things are now.

If you’re not satisfied with your employment, I would recommend joining a construction field to anyone. It usually isn’t too hard to find work even if you have no prior experience in the field, as long as you’re willing to put in some good effort. Even if you don’t stick with it, I can promise you’ll always be glad you did it.

[libertydude]

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Thanks, Miller! I'm feeling a lot better from just getting the words down, and I feel like I just need to focus on finding ways to better my situation. I know how to do it, it's just a question of the right conditions and right mindset. Baby steps before the leap.

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Thanks for the suggestion. Construction isn't really my forte, having gotten a college degree in creative writing, but it's always an option if things become too unbearable at my current job.