Harem Noses is Alive?!?! · 4:44pm Mar 15th, 2021
And I bet you all thought I had forgotten about it. 
YES! My most controversial story to date has been dormant for well over a year now, but I have channeled my inner Doctor Frankenstein and brought life to my creation once more!
So, Irr, does this mean there is a new chapter for us to enjoy/loathe?
Not quite yet. At the moment, I am in the midst of doing a minor overhaul of the story, and specifically in regards to Cadence and Shining Armor. To keep from being spoilerific, I won't give out details here (check below), but I will say that if you hated the story before, then you'll probably still hate it after, too. But, if you liked it, then I think you'll like the changes I'm making. Once I get done with editing the already-written stuff (I'm working on chapter four as we speak), I'll get a new chapter going for you to enjoy.
Now for the spoiler stuff: The main change I'm making to the story is this: in the old version, Cadence didn't know about the Married to One is Married to All law. In the rewrite, she does. With this little tweak, I'm hoping to fix how Shining Armor and Cadence react to what happened and to each other, and thus help the story overall.
Stay tuned for more! 
Oh, yay! [SPOILERED] was the one sour note (for me) in the story before. Now, not only is that fixed, but we get more!
5476059
I think [spoiler!] will help out too, but I'm going to maintain that it's not a sure thing.
I'm gonna go into a little backstory here to help explain. I started Harem Nose partly as as a test to see if I could write a harem story that wasn't mature, because above all else, I enjoy writing and I want to improve and get better. Really, No Nose Knows started with me wondering if I could write a romantic comedy story that people would like.
So, since I'm still trying to be better, some stories (like Nose) will hit, but some are bound to miss (like Harem). But either way, the only way I'm going to get better is if I keep writing and keep fixing the mistakes that I've made.
Que lightning and cheesy old horror movie music "it's alive.... IT'S ALIVE"
O my i had forgot about this story.
i need to keep a eye on this.
Yey!
Sweet, love me some bean
Excellent! I started reading this one before reading the "original" series. While I love that one, I really really like this one too and I'm very happy to hear you're continuing it.
As to the changes, it sounds good to me. Good for the interaction between each other and hopefully with Bean. I tend to see Shining as someone who'd make a good “Bro”. I’m hoping his animosity towards Bean wanes. The situation isn’t Bean’s fault after all. I hope they can be good friends eventually. Maybe Shining starts to mentor Bean and help him be the best stallion he can be for Luna & Celestia.
So, if this law applies, doesn't this mean that the sisters are already married to Shining Armor? Doesn't this mean Twilight is technically married to Shining Armor once she ascends?
5476165
We're still safe there. One thing I'm not changing is that the story starts with Nightmare Moon's return, so Shining and Cadence are not married.
5476200
Well, in that case, how many stallions are permitted per herd?
5476200
well the princess can just change the law for pro herding then she can still marry shining Armour, i doubt Luna and celestia say no to more husbands
My reaction upon reading this.
.... I think this is the one story of yours I haven't yet poked at. I'm honestly not sure I wanna poke at it if I'm honest. I kinda like Cadance and Shining Armor's pairing and it just... Never feels right to split them up.
5476427
I'd stay away from it if I was you, then. You won't like what happens, especially the way it is now.
Cool happy to see it. Don’t let it kill the next sequel though.
5476451
Now I wanna poke at it just to see what you meeeeaaaaan!
Eay can you please notify me when it gets overhauled? I was hesitant to read a stone story, but ey if its back, ill have a crack
5476467
Simply put, Cadence and Shining get split up. Take the boop law from No Nose, tweak it so it says all alicorns must marry Bean, and that's pretty much what's going on here.
5476516
I'll put out another bloggy blog when all the rewrites are done, no problem.
am so glad this is starting again. more Amazonian bat butt shenanigans!
5476568
... Oh... Oh poor Shiny. If Green Grass weren't bad enough goin' after his sister, now he's got some mustard colored munchkin stealin' his girl! This feels like a set up to King Sombra Two: Electric Boogaloo.
This is going to be good.
Would you please post a Cliff’s Notes summary blog of the changes when you’re done?
I for one have an ever growing Read It Later list and find it difficult to make time for new stories let alone rereads. I suspect I am not alone.
Why do people loathe this?
5477120
Mostly because Shining Armor and Cadence are boyfriend and girlfriend here, but don't get married. A lot of people like their relationship and hate to see it stopped.
5476715
I can do that, easy peasy.
5477120
Speaking just for myself, it felt like the author couldn't decide what kind of story he wanted to tell. You can't combine "This is a ridiculous premise that doesn't stand up to scrutiny, so just go for it and don't worry about the realism" with "... but, also, let's have this be a real problem that seriously hurts the people involved, and wallow in that angst".
The original "Noses" story worked because it turned the ridiculous premise into a "meet cute", where Bean and Celestia basically took the ridiculous law as an opportunity to try to build a relationship, not something that actually forced Celestia to be married against her will.
At the point where you're saying "Wow, this is a real problem that is actually hurting people", it becomes an Idiot Plot for them not to be considering the obvious solutions (e.g., ending the marriage by divorce or other means, defining what marriage means so that Cadance is married on paper but doesn't actually have anything to do with him, marrying Bean on paper and then banishing him to Griffinstone until they can get the law changed).
A goofy comedy premise just meshes badly with a story focusing on drama.
This story is the equivalent of trying to combine a Three Stooges movie with a serious look at sibling abuse.
I haven’t read the story but if Shining is still married to Cadence then won’t he be married to the other princesses?
Ah yes, resurrection. Always fun!
Have the chapters been updated yet?
EDIT: As of 2021-03-24 2107 (UTC), no, they haven't.
5482654
In progress. I'm going to adjust them all first, then release them. I'll send out a warning before I do.
5481001
It's complicated. :)
Also, some people would like to know more about the Oath Tripartite and about marriage (not necessarily in the story, but an Author's Note would be nice), particularly:
Is the Oath Tripartite magically binding? And if so, is it enforced by consequences similar to those of the nose boop law seen in No Nose Knows (ie, loss of the alicorn's magic and cutie mark)? (It never came up, so we never found out what it meant to be an "unbreakable oath")
Did NMM's use of the Oath Tripartite instantly marry Bean to the alicorns, or is there going to need to be a wedding (as there was in No Nose Knows)? (This is unclear in the old version; the characters' behaviour could be taken to imply either)
Is marriage something magically detectable? And is this affected by whether it has been consummated? And would it be obvious or something you have to be looking for?
(I was going to add, "Does Cadance instantly know that she is married/betrothed to Bean once NMM does it or does she have to be told that she and her aunties are married/betrothed?", but you would have to answer that anyway)
5482795
I'll try to get to all of that in the story proper.