state of the darf (pt. whatever, living situation edition) · 11:30pm Mar 12th, 2021
as of the writing of this post, i will have been sort of settled in my new place for about a month—a month since i've gotten my own room with something proper to sleep on, anyway.
thanks to the support of the community which i did not expect or know how to deal with, i now have new clothes for the first time in 5+ years, a bed that is actually mine that i can sleep on and everything, a comfy chair to do most of my sitting/typing/computering in, and a big stuffed animal unicorn cat named 'Mina'. she is a 'Squishmallow™'; very big, soft, and huggable. i cuddled her last night when i was looking out the window and felt something akin to safety.
i feel like at this point taking time to say 'thank you' without doing something like bringing a comet down to earth or blowing up the entire planet is more-or-less 'lip service'... but i don't know how the people who helped me feel directly about that, other than the ones i've spoken to have all basically said 'your welcome and please use this to dig/keep yourself out of the horrifying hole you seem likely to wind up in'. i've said thank you some more, they've sent smiley faces, this is more or less a paradigm.
in a few more days i'm going to start sitting down to write again. it's something i do in waves, going periods of time without generating any wordcount, then somehow flipping on a switch and cranking out 5k+ in a day. when i have something that is important for me to do, i will usually do it, even if the surrounding circumstance are very hard. i guess it just depends on how things are.
so, yes; i guess i'm announcing i'm back to work.
i have an outrageous commission backlog at this point, and i feel, to my surprise, only a small amount of guilt compared to the life-swallowing abyss that is usually there. i suspect this is because A) i have been through this whole 'homeless' thing before and i can vouchsafe it's not necessarily a good emotional place to compose art from, and B) every single person i've worked with has been understanding about our personal circumstance, and seems mostly to value that we do the work, not just that it get done. in a way, that's incredibly humbling, because we don't really think there's necessarily anything that special about our ponywords... but then again, maybe we are broken in just such a way that allows us to see and do some special stuff sometimes.
if you're near the top of our commission list, expect a communication from us some time in the next month or so in the event that we need to refresh any details of your story in our mind. memory for logistics is not our strong suit, and in the few months since 'not freezing to death' was our only concern (though tbh that doesn't sound like a bad way to go all things considered), a lot of the whens, wheres, and whys of ponyfiction got bounced around in our brain. past communication will probably be enough to get us up to speed, but this is a heads up just in case we need to pelt you for a refresher course on your commission.
to everyone, again: thank you.
it feels really weird to think that we are alive and functioning purely thanks to the goodwill of this community. a community atop a mountain we hang out on by virtue only of some weird arbitrary number calculation, or maybe just in volume of words produced. we haven't felt like a mover or shaker in pony in a long time, and with g5 on the horizon and our interests barely tickled, maybe we never will be again.
but we can write. we're gonna try to do that.
<3
Love you, Darf!
Glad to hear you're doing better.
I'm really glad to hear you're safe and feeling better.
Thank you for sharing an update! (And plush animals are great for calming effects!) Take care of yourself. :)
Glad to see you're finally in a safe environment where you can focus on stuff besides physiological needs. You deserve it
I'm so glad to hear you're safe and sound! <3
It's nice to hear some GOOD news for a change - we sure could use more of these. I hope it will work out for you. Good luck, and take care
Glad to see you are somewhere safe, and taking care of yourself. Hang in there <3
Glad to see you all settled in, darf, and thanks for the update!
Hey, wonderful! Really glad you're in a more stable situation. As always, please take care of yourself, and feel free to reach out if you need anything.
I can't believe you still post on here.