Mechanic: Updates (didn't need a priest after all) · 2:50am Feb 4th, 2021
Updates!
Some time ago I mentioned that there were two cars in the parking lot that needed an engine and a third that needed a priest.
Also, there was that Ford I told y’all about in the last blog post.
Both of the two cars in need of an engine got towed off. Both of them found shops who said they could put in an engine for less or do it faster than we could, or maybe one of them just got hauled off to the scrapyard, I don’t know.
The Caddy, though, that was an adventure. I’d looked at it twice since it had gotten towed in. It was a pushbutton start, and when you pushed the button, the start light went out, nothing on dash lit up except for the check engine light. Sometimes it seemed like it was in run mode, other times not so much.
I did get all the codes pulled with our Snap-On scanner, and there were a bunch of communication codes in the Instrument Panel Module, including that it couldn’t talk to the PCM. I didn’t know what the Instrument Panel Module was, but surmised that it might be what deals with button-pushes and tells the engine to start.
Several days later, I pulled all the codes again with the GM scan tool, and they were the same. Also the car still didn’t start. In fact, it more not started than last time, ‘cause the battery was nearly dead.
And then it sat.
And sat.
And sat.
[i[Source (YouTube)
Imagine the leaves are snow
Yesterday, the manager had Thing 1 and Thing 2 push it in. Let the snow melt off it and charge up the battery and see what happens. And this morning, I got to pull codes on it for the third time, ‘cause my manager had lost both sheets where I wrote down what codes it had.
I won’t bore you with the list of codes nor the fact that it wasn’t a communications problem at all. Turns out it just needed a starter.
You see, when the dash went blank, that was what it was supposed to do; the car was meant to drop electrical loads when cranking (your car, if you have one, probably does this, too; the instrument panel and radio go off when cranking). Since it was a pushbutton, there was no feedback, it just stayed off for 30 seconds while the car tried to start but didn’t, and then it turns back on, and this car wasn’t programmed to set a code like “hey, I tried to start but nothing happened.”
Incidentally, when I tried manually activating the starter relay to make sure it could get a signal and would close (this was when we suspected it was the starter), the scan tool kicked me out after ten seconds or so with an error message ‘test timeout--engine not rotating.’
In case you’re curious how you remove the starter on a Cadillac STS with a 3.6, what you’re supposed to do is remove the left catalytic convertor, which in Michigan is a risky undertaking. You can also get it out with clever arrangements of swivel sockets, magnets, bendy-reachy tools, high pain tolerance, and removing the left front wheel, the belts, the AC belt tensioner, the AC compressor, and the left side knock sensor.
And that was that, the Cadillac was fixed, and soon it will not grace our parking lot anymore. I hope.
Also, another SUV showed up that needs an engine. It went out of time (timing belt jumped), and bent valves (my manger pulled the rocker arms for the number one cylinder out from under the cam, which you shouldn’t be able to do). We also found out from the customer that it’s using at least a quart of oil every 500 miles.
Also also there’s a high-mileage F-350 dually with a 6.4L diesel that needs injectors in our parking lot. The customer is thinking of taking it to a different shop to have them fix it, and I hope he does. If, in the near future, y’all get a blog post that’s just incoherent screaming, you’ll know that I’m the one fixing it.
Now for that Ford truck. Just to cast your minds back, ‘cause I’m too lazy to look up that last blog post, it started hard when cold, and I’d determined that the alcohol percentage in the fuel (inferred, not actually measured) was too high. I’d discovered that the Mass Airflow Sensor was bad based on its barometric pressure reading, I’d also determined that the air filter was a K&N, and after changing both those things and taking it for a test drive the inferred ethanol content came down from like 44% to a more reasonable 13%. But still not learned.
And the next day I took it for another drive and things were good until they weren’t. All of a sudden, it started creeping up, back into the 40% and then higher, and then it learned it at 44% again.
But, it also set a new code, and this one was helpful. I don’t remember the code exactly, but it was a software malfunction code, and the diagnostic tree was simple. Reprogram the PCM; if that doesn’t fix it, replace the PCM.
The truck sat for a day and the hard start was confirmed (not that I needed confirmation of that, but it’s nice when you can duplicate they symptom even if you already know what caused it). A second key was obtained—you gotta have two keys to reprogram most stuff on a Ford, and my manager has finally learned when I tell him I need two keys to just get a second instead of asking ‘but do you?’ [because the answer has always been ‘yes.’]—and the Ford scan tool, and I reprogrammed it suspiciously fast. Learning the keys took longer; there’s a ten-minute timer before you can access security, and I did something wrong because after I did the parameter reset it should have asked me to relearn keys, but instead it kicked me out because it didn’t recognize the key in the ignition. Which it shouldn’t have, because triggering the parameter reset makes it forget all its keys.
So that was another ten minute wait to get back in, then it learned its keys and I took it for another drive and it took forever to learn barometric pressure and then forever plus some to learn the inferred ethanol percentage which was to my mind still too high, but the manager let the customer have his truck for the weekend anyway, and to report back with how it was doing.
He called back today, and as luck would have it, my manager was out on a test drive so I got to answer the phone, and according to the customer the truck was running beautifully and he had no problems starting it.
Also worth mention, theRedBrony pointed out that I could have taken a fuel sample and determined for myself how much ethanol was in it (because as Dr. House knows, patients customers lie), and I could have. It’s slightly more involved on this truck; there isn’t a fuel pressure tap on the rail, I would have had to disconnect the fuel line and get a sample there, but I could have. It’s not unmanagable. And that was going to be my next step, before my manger gave the guy his truck back (and if it had come back, it would have been the first thing I did). But apparently replacing the MAF and air filter and reprogramming the computer was what it wanted, and I’m satisfied to leave it there.
If it does come back again, I’ll be sure to let y’all know.
I just got my truck's rear brakes fixed. Mechanic said only one side of each the shoes was actually moving. The other side was so rusted that he had to use a chisel to get the thing off.
Is that a My Little Dragon figurine that Lyra has on her dash?
I once had (stop me if I've told this story) a chain-store mechanic tell me that my brakes were down to 10% wear, and he didn't feel comfortable letting me drive out.
Me (young and broke): "How long do brakes normally last?"
Him: "About 3 years."
Me: "So I've got three-and-a-half months left on them."
It confused him enough to let me go.
Well it sounds like another typical day at work for you. It keeps me thinking that many automotive engineers are paid to make vehicles as impossible to work on as possible so dealers get all the repairs. I have had Uncles brag that when they where teenagers of being able to swap motors/ transmissions in cars in less then an hour.
I think I've figured out why these blogs are so popular: they're genuine Biscuitisms!
But really, they're constructed of neat vignettes - so there's never a chance to get bored - each of which is presented endearingly - even when the expressed emotions run hot - and which are united with a common thread that weaves back and forth like in more complicated plotlines. They're slice of life well-honed to a comfortable, homey edge.
But we all knew that, I 'spose. So I guess what I'm saying is that even when work sucks, we love you for being so awesome, Biscuit!
And don't care? :)
What, is there some sort of AutoShop Mafia that Doesn't Approve of Doing Things That Way?
(I just wanted to use up my capital letter allotment for today, so sue me)
I've read Christine, I know what happens next.
That just means there's never any need for an oil change.
I just saw an advert for a new VW SUV, and all I can remember about it is, the Admiral is going to go The Full Navy on this thing. I cant remember the details of the vehicle, which makes me such a rubbish mechanic.
If I cant get a bolt off, thats what grinders and welders are for, and if the materials wrong, well, its definitely scrap now, get a replacement that can be worked on. Wonder if youre still allowed to build your own rigs out of 2 inch box section brace and bundles and 40 year old parts?
5447330
Drachism?
2020 was so bad even the trucks wound up with a drinking problem.
"remove the left catalytic convertor, which in Michigan is a risky undertaking"
...Dare I ask why? Given the alternative process you listed? :D
"If, in the near future, y’all get a blog post that’s just incoherent screaming, you’ll know that I’m the one fixing it."
...And dare I ask what the problem there would be?
(Hopefully it stays at "would be" for you, though!)
Glad things worked out so well with that truck. :)
And thanks for the updates. :)
5447414
They're probably like PA and use a lot of salt on the road. So not a good idea to mess with the exhaust system if you can help it.
5447222
That sounds about right. The joys of rust.
Still, keeps me employed, so. . . .
5447293
I’m not sure. It’s a dragon pone, I’d say, Or maybe a dinosaur pone.
As far as I know, in Michigan we can’t hold a vehicle for safety concerns, but I don’t know for sure. I do reserve the right to laugh at a customer when it breaks after we told them it would, and on anything I thought was a dangerous condition, if the customer took it anyway, I’d be more than happy to present the paperwork in case of a lawsuit against the vehicle owner.
5447307
Well it sounds like another typical day at work for you. It keeps me thinking that many automotive engineers are paid to make vehicles as impossible to work on as possible so dealers get all the repairs.
There is some of that, but more on the software side. With the mechanical stuff, there is a certain amount of maintainability they want in case they’ve got to fix it under warranty (plus, there’s assembly to consider). A lot of it goes to them being designed by committee, I think, and also packaging engines in vehicles that weren’t originally intended to go there.
Yeah, there were a lot of older cars where you could do that. Not so much any more.
5447809
Yeah, the older I get, the less defensible I find the position that I took.
5447330
They’re
comfortable and easy to wear.Thank you!
5447382
Nope. I’ve got other problem vehicles to deal with.
Heh, no, it’s that the eight mm studs in the convertor that fasten it to the Y-pipe are rusted to the thickness of pencil lead, and the two bolts that thread into the convertor from the top would probably either break off or come out but take all the threads in the convertor with them, so then it needs a starter and a convertor.
Yeah, fair point.
No, there isn’t, ‘cause the timing chain slipped and took out the valves.
5447403
Is it the Atlas? My brother has an Atlas, although I don’t know what that is. Never seen one. Never seen an ad for one, even.
As far as I know, you can in the US, but there are hoops to jump through, and you’re better off starting with a frame from a 40 year old car that you have a title to, ‘cause that makes the rest of the process easier.
5447406
Can you blame them?
5447414
Rusty bolts break, and then the only real fix is a new convertor.
fleetservicenorthwest.com/images/site/64l_engine.jpg
Here’s an ant-sized picture of the engine. If you imagine drawing a horizontal line across the engine, midway up, basically everything you see above that has to come off, plus more stuff you don’t see (because those things are attached to the truck and not the engine).
Unfortunately, we just got a box of injectors from Ford, so I know what I’m going to be spending next week working on.
You’re welcome!
5447794
Yup.
Parts rusting off keeps us in business, though.
Another entertaining episode of 'Admiral Biscuit's Automobile Jargon', yay!
5447837
It do. It do.
Geez, I think I'd rather break the damn bolts off and fix them.
My condolences. That 6.4 is going to suck... badly.
"You can also get it out with clever arrangements of swivel sockets, magnets, bendy-reachy tools, high pain tolerance..."
Don't tell me that on top of everything else your boss is a racist bigot who refuses to hire unicorns holding the proper PoE ( Ponies on Earth) visa ?
Sheesh !!
Those magic horses are a shoe-in for some jobs.
My garden looks fantastic now that I have a pair of Earth Pony gardeners tending to it once a week.
I even have veges growing !
5447820
Couldn't you just tack it back on with Gorilla Glue or something?
Gadzooks.
I just want to let you know, that even when I don't respond, I love these posts.
Let me know if you ever need a priest.
Finally -- something I can respond to! Yeah, that was a really dramatic moment when Tirek took the magic from all of Twilight's friends, and I really felt...
...what? You're referring to a car's dashboard? Oh.
Carry on.
5447794
5447837
Ah, thanks!
5447836
And as a continuation of the above, thanks. :)
...Well. Yes, I think that answers the question. :D
...Ah. And sorry about that, aye, then.
:)
5447909
As far as you know.
5448007
Tell me your secrets about drilling out bolts, then, ‘cause I hate doing it. The pencil-thin ones on the lower flange, sure, I could nut and bolt that, but the ones that thread into the top flange of the cat, I’ll have that thing on the bench for far too long breaking off drill bits into it. Or a tap, that’s always fun to try and get out after it broke.
5448024
Yeah, I am not looking forward to it at all.
There’s a slim chance that the manager will task one of our idiots on it, but that’s a very slim chance. More likely, it’ll be me for a week.
5448057
I can’t remember the name of it now, but there was a movie where the main character (who I think was John Travolta) had some magical powers, and he was working on a car and TKed a wrench that was just out of reach to his hand, and I’ll be honest, the number of times I wished I could do just that and no more . . . legit for all his faults which I could go on forever about, my manager is results-driven, and if he found a unicorn who could get the job done, he’d hire her.
Fact is, part of the reason that I have really good job security is that they can’t find anybody better.
You lucky devil. All I’ve got is weeds and vines and rogue trees.
5448080
Legit if there was a high-temp Gorilla Glue that fixed exhausts, I’d be buying it. Every shop in the rust belt would.
5448088
Yeah. Smart money is put an engine in it, to be honest. Even if we fix the timing chain and the bent valves, there’s a good chance it’ll still burn oil.
Well, judging by the parts that arrived, we (by which I mean, probably me) will be doing injectors in a 6.4L, so you might get called on sooner than you expected.
5448433
5450175
Injectors on a Ford 6.4 diesel? God be with you my son.
5450165 I used to break a lot of exhaust bolts, I rarely do now. And that's the point right? To not break them in the first place. I suppose I've just gotten good enough to be able to tell which ones will come willingly and which won't... and also just the right way of torching those so they do. Also, air gun. Always. Using a ratchet or breaker bar is like asking the bolts to break. The impact from an air gun shocks them loose. And I have these stupidly long duck bill pliers specifically for exhaust bolts. And I mean like 20" long, and the bill isn't flat, it's got a serrated round groove in it for grasping bolts and studs head-on instead of sideways. Can't find a picture of them, got them from my exhaust parts supplier. I don't end up using them often, but they're good for rounded off heads, when you heat the living shit out of the thing. And then there's my favorite bolt extractor thing: https://www.lasertools.co.uk/product/0296 It's good for unscrewing damaged exhaust studs, or for those long bolts that thread right into a manifold. Cut the heads off of them, remove the cat or pipe or whatever, then heat the living shit out of the flange and put that tool on one and zap it with an air gun.
Honestly, the last time I drilled exhaust bolts was on a Jeep Liberty and that was maybe 4 months ago. Haven't had much grief since then.
But for when you do actually have to drill, remember that heat is your enemy. Keep a small container of some kind of oil - used engine oil or trans fluid will do - and constantly stop and dip the drill bit into it and continue. Keeps it cool. Lubrication is not so much the issue, it's heat. A good sharp drill bit is important, too, and if you treat it right it will stay sharp for a long time. Heat is what dulls them, not so much the cutting. For tapping, patience, and lots of it. Back and forth constantly. And oil too. In fact, the last car I broke a tap off into was that same damn Jeep. It was the exception to the rule, you know, that one POS that just wants you to be miserable? Yeah that one. Incidentally, the tap breaking was a coincidence as far as I'm concerned. Bad luck, I mean. The tap was halfway in and had very little resistance, it's not like I was ramming it in there. It must've just been its time to break, that's all. And removing it was not too bad. They're so brittle, you see, I just hammered it with a punch and it shattered into pieces. Dropped a tap on the floor one time and it broke in half.
Oh and speaking of punches, center punch the bolt you're drilling to keep the bit centered. In theory, anyway, I find they always wander, especially since you're always at some angle, it's not lined up perfectly on a drill press.
And when you're done, anti-seize the shit out of it. I'm sure most of your customers are recurring. I never subscribed to that nonsense of 'oh but it will come loose.'
5450194
Good news, I’ve got four of them replaced already.
Tomorrow I do the other four, and if luck is with me tomorrow by quitting time the truck will be running again. it’s not as bad as a 6.0.
5450232
Based on the downpipe studs, the manifold to catalyst bolts weren’t going to come out willingly. Hence the other method of replacement . . . and while it was a tight fit, all those bolts came out easily ‘cause all the ones in front were soaked in oil from the multiple oil leaks.
I’ve heard techs that swear with using an air gun on the spark plugs on 3V Triton motors. One of my former co-workers just drove the thing until it was stupid hot and never broke one. Last one I did they all broke, go figure.
There’s a similar tool for inner tie rods. Never seen it for smaller studs, though.
Our usual go-to with broken bolts in aluminum heads is weld a nut to it and it comes out that way. Usually. I try not to break them; my manager sometimes goes and breaks stuff and then has me fix it which is extra frustrating.
That’s how my luck usually runs, it seems. Everything is going fine, no problems, and then there are lots of shattered pieces for no reason. Last tap I broke was on an aftermarket Nerf Bar, they forgot to tap the weld nuts, I had the easiest setup ever, bracket in a vice, all the room in the world to work, can hit it from any side with lube, three of the holes went like butter, and halfway through the fourth—nose of the tap already through—it just decided it was time to break.
That doesn’t always work as well when it’s in a blind hole.
That’s the part I hate the most. The convertor on that Caddy wouldn’t have been so bad, even if things went to s
t, it would be off and there would be all the room in the world to hit it with torches, drills, jackhammers, whatever. It’s the stuff on the engine where there’s no clearance and you’re trying to blindly feed a drill bit into a questionably center-punched bolt with a 90 degree drill. . . .
Depends on what it is, IMHO. I got the range from high-temp silicone lube to red loctite, and they get put in what I feel are appropriate places. Just did rear brakes today on a regular customer’s lifted F150, and yeah it slowed me down a bit ‘cause his wheel spacers were red loctited on, but I’m not going to have a wheel spacer come off, and when I was done with the brakes, those spacers got red loctited again and torqued to spec, and next time he comes in, he’ll have all four spacers still on his truck. I guarantee it.
5450698
Excellent!
Yeah, I've heard horror stories about the 6.0
5450167
Try doing an in-frame rebuild. I promise, it's a blast on a 3206 cat.
5450728
Well... manifold bolts are another issue. Generally we try very hard to avoid touching manifold bolts. Can't remember the last time we did an exhaust manifold in the car. Yeah welding the nut on is probably the best way to go. Drilling with a 90 degree drill at some odd angle is never going to end well. Ironically, we have the 4.0L v6 out of a Ford Ranger right now, for heads, valves, and timing chains, and every single exhaust manifold nut came off perfectly. If it had been in the damn car, every single one would break, right?
How would they come off? Aren't they sandwiched between the rim and the brake rotor/wheal hub? Incidentally, I had this Mercedes come in with one stuck lug bolt out of 5, for me to remove somehow. I took the other 4 out, no problem, and put them back, because I couldn't do it that day. The next day, 4 out of 5 were hopelessly stuck. Since then, anitseize on all wheel lug bolts. I've had others get stuck. They won't come off on their own. Fuck me, even with antizeize they don't want to come loose.
Just your luck, right? lol
5450801
Not so excellent after all, I got it all together and it runs just the same as before I started.
There are a few engines that end in “.0” that we instinctively say “oh no” (as in the Chyslerbishi 3.oh no) . . . I feel that the 6.oh no deserves it.
5450823
Step 1: remove cab
Step 2: cry a lot
5450868
We’ve got Ford modular engines and Chevy Vortec (or whatever they call them, the 4.8, 5.3, etc.) all the time that break them on their own and then we’ve got to fix them. I’ve done enough to know I hate them every time.
Weird thing I’ve noticed is that the worse the truck looks the better the bolts will come out, I don’t know why. Did manifolds on a F150 that looked like it had lived in a salt bog from the day it was new, and they all came out (not intact, but they all came out). Did another that looked clean enough to eat off, and about half of them broke.
I know in theory how to change the fifteen timing chains a Ford 4.0 has, but none of our customers have ever gone for it when they needed them. They’ve either opted to sell/junk the truck, or just throw a replacement engine in it.
Nope, they bolt on like the wheel would, and then the wheel bolts to it. Can’t check torque on the nuts without taking the wheel off, and who would bother? Loctite it, torque to wheel spec, and hope for the best.
I’ve never put anti-seize on wheel studs/bolts and never would. I’d rather have to get them off with force than live with a wheel off, personally. But that’s just me.
5451409
Ohhh... those.
Yeah, getting them off with force is not an option when the heads break off or round off. And I've had that happen more than enough. Antiseize for me.
5451397
Oh no! So what's wrong with it?
I have owned a Chryslerbishi 3.oh no. Pure, nightmare-fuel let me assure you. *shudders*
5451516
Get the fire wrench and some hotblock for the aluminum, they’ll come off nice and easy when they’re liquid
(Seriously, though, the only one I’ve ever had real trouble with was a lug bolt on a VW new Beetle. Had to drill it out, which was horrible. Also couldn’t get one off a Town and Country recently, but my manager made me stop before I got to violent attempts, then complained that the customer got it off himself [the same was I was going to do it, but I wasn’t allowed to try . . . go figure].)