Story Notes: The Happiest Pony in Equestria · 4:44am Jan 28th, 2020
Today I was giving a customer a ride home, and she started talking about Kobe, and then asked if I though he was the happiest man on Earth.
I said that I didn’t know.
And by the time I’d dropped her off at her house and started on the way back, I had most of the plot of this story in place.
There’s not much more to say, really. Y’all know that happiness is in the eye of the beholder.
A potboiler is a cheap story tossed out by an author to get views. Naturally, I wouldn’t know anything about those.
Whitewash is a cheap, effective coating for homes or fences or whatever. In its most basic form, it’s slaked lime or chalk calcium carbonate spread over wood (or whatever) to protect it from the elements. It makes a hard shell that keeps the weather from getting at the gooey goodness inside. Traditionally, it was used on the outsides of things, unless one was poor.
Hyperopia is farsightedness. I don’t know much about it; I live on the other end of the eyesight spectrum: I’m so nearsighted I can’t see the broad side of a barn. But by golly, I can read fine print like nobody’s business.
IRL New York was kinda discovered by Henry Hudson, sailing aboard the Halve Maen (Half Moon).
Cortland is a variety of heirloom apple, and back in Ye Olde Times, people didn’t have specific street addresses, but more of an ‘they live over there’ kind of thing. While I’d be lying if I said I remember when ZIP codes in the US became a thing, I have plenty of magazines that date to the era when they were being adopted, and also when state abbreviations weren’t universally two letters.
Meijer used to (and maybe still does) sell nine-grain bread that was dense enough that you could kill a man with it if the need arose.
Many thanks to Bugsydor, Duke of Battington, and hawthronbunny for giving helpful suggestions on Discord. And also to Thrackerzoid, who made a few last-minute corrections right on the cusp of going live (which side of the cusp, I’m not gonna tell you).
Kobe Bryant sexually assaulted a woman.
5193343
When I give the little old lady a ride back to the shop tomorrow, do you think I should bring that up?
For that matter, should I even mention that our brief conversation as we turned onto Dexter Trail (before we passed the pen with the llamas and turned our conversation more towards animal husbandry) resulted in a story on FimFiction, for better or worse?
Would she be happy or horrified that I texted myself the brief notes that laid the foundation for this story while I was still driving her Jeep, even if it was only at twenty miles an hour since a truck towing a gooseneck trailer loaded with round bails got in front of me as I came up to Catholic Church Rd.?
She’s a pretty cool lady, but there are a lot of things where I don’t really know what her feelings on the matter are.
5193351
I dunno I'm just being an edgelord.
5193355
No offense, but you’d have done better if you’d hit the very low-hanging fruit in the blog where I mentioned potboilers. My ego says this isn’t that, but when I wake up tomorrow morning to fifty notifications and a prime spot in the box of shame, I will wonder if I’ve sold out, and if so, to whom.
5193351
Lol I have a policy of not reading story notes of stories I haven't read yet, but yes, potboilers are certainly a thing. Aren't they called that because they help you buy the fuel that keeps your food cooking?
5193363
I suppose, if I got paid for pony stories.
<shakes fist>
“Knighty, you owe me”
5193367
Take commissions. You'd make a bundle.
I think you mean farsightedness, aye? Myopia is nearsightedness.
5193377
Gah, yes, that’s what I meant.
I blame my keyboard.
5193378
That sounds like cowardice.
5193379
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
<scurries under rock>
Which Discord you hang out in?
5193378
The natural tendency is to get more farsighted as you get older.
I used to be near sighted myself, now I'm farsighted
Also, Lebron James passed him on the "Top NBA Scorers" list & now the crash, IDK that I'd call him happy
Interesting, if short; thanks. :)
5193367
Huh. I always thought they were called that because they could be used as the fuel that keeps your food cooking.
The crazy part about all of this is that very few people die in helicopter crashes, so having a celebrity die that way is even more shocking.
5193469
Which is equally inapplicable to FimFiction, for hopefully obvious reasons (pretty sure Randall was taking the piss with his "Kindle Edition" joke)
Personally, I'd have been horrified. ()^_^
Aw, thanks! Glad to be of some service.
My guess on why it's called a potboiler is that it's the sort of thing you read to not go crazy watching a pot of water get to temperature, and then stashed until the next time you needed some light time-fill.
5193376
The thought has crossed my mind, but to make it worthwhile, I might price myself out of the market unless I were willing to write niche porn, which I’m not.
5193424
Mostly private ones with few members, honestly. Hole in the Wall, Unhinged, Writers Waffling about Writing Willingly, Equestrian Wordsmiths.
Send me a PM with your Discord user thingy and I’ll add you as a
trustedcrazy friend.5193432
Luckily, I’m so nearsighted that’s not likely to happen.
I figure that happiness doesn’t necessarily have to do with fame or fortune. But what do I know; I hit things with wrenches and write pony fic.
5193433
You’re welcome!
While short on new facts, the story makes up for that with adorable fluffiness.
5193469
I suppose they could, although books don’t burn all that well, at least in an open fire. Although I haven’t done a lot of experimentation.
5193490
My brother and I discussed that once, although it’s been enough years that I don’t remember the exact conclusions. I do remember that in terms of miles traveled, helicopters are way less safe than fixed-wing aircraft, but given their different operating purposes, that’s expected. I know when I was in Chicago last spring, I saw a helicopter being used to lift things up onto a building. If something went wrong with the engine, he’d have a slim chance of finding a survivable landing spot . . . but in counterpoint, no sane person would be operating a fixed-wing aircraft over a city at or below building height.
5193523
Don’t ever find out how or where I wrote some chapters of Silver Glow’s Journal, Turnpike, Peterbilt Glider, Fence Post, and a few other fics.
5193935
Without bothering to look up the wiki, it’s because it was a low-effort fic that was what the audience wanted. The published version of daytime TV, more or less.
I suppose that in many cases, you could read a bit here and a bit there when you had downtime, and you’d never have to worry about missing nuance.
5193977
Indeed. :)
5193351
I wouldn't bring up Fimfiction at all. We get a bad rap as it is.
As for the potboilers, simple stories like this one are usually pleasant. It's either that or going back to watching Tim Taylor's Tool Time accidents.
5194438
Turned out it was a moot point; our new guy gave her a ride. (we’ve got a new guy now; let’s see how long he lasts!)
Also, what is Tim Taylor’s Tool Time accidents? That actually sounds kind of fun.
5194461
Tim Allen's old sitcom Home Improvement.
5194674
That’s what I thought you were referencing, but I wasn’t sure.
Did you know he’s from Michigan, just like I am? Because he is.
(And I am)
He spent more time in jail than I did, though.
5195056
Yeah, I know. More power to ya. Arr, Arr, ARRRRGH!!!! 😁
5195447