EPIC RAP BATTLES OF MLP!!! · 9:47pm Sep 16th, 2019
Prince Blueblood!
Vs!
Nooooble Blaaaaade!
Begin!
NOBLE: I come charging into battle with a broadsword and a shield,
But for you, I won't bother! You're not that big a deal!
I'm loved 'cause of my swagger, and my talent with the blade.
You're pitied 'cause you're a fat jerk who's never getting laid!
There's no obstacle against me that I won't destroy!
For my friends! For Equestria! And for you? I don't think so, boy!
You're thirty years old and still living with your aunt.
Without the money you've stolen, your Minecraft face would be thin and gaunt!
You think that mares are property you can own and boss around?
Every single one you meet wants to put you in the ground!
I'm sorry about your neck, my prince. I'd do anything else instead.
But I have to be honest. Those jewels look better red!
So I'll do what must be done and meet my steel 'gainst your throat
No one stands up to Noble when they feel the blood flow!
BLUEBLOOD: Oh, you want a challenge? All right, I'll make this quick.
I'll ruin you faster than the author ever did.
You can't carry a story, much less a girlfriend.
And don't you even think about attacking me from my end
'Cause your romance is boring, and your character is weak.
Without your favoritism, you'd be the loser of the week.
I suck at romance, yeah. But that's my whole thing.
You only exist 'cause the author wanted a good Flutter-fling.
I'm the leader of hundreds, and the Noxxa bow before me.
You're overeager, and your old Ponish pussy talk bores me.
Step up to me and your armor gets peeled away.
Now hurry off now. You don't have anything else to say.
NOBLE: If that's really the best you got for me,
This'll be easier than I ever thought it'd be.
Why do you exist? You showed up one time!
And I'd forgotten what you sound like. You had, like, six lines!
And the fact that you were written like a joke is even worse!
Let's be honest, to the fandom, you're an absolute curse!
I bring life to the story! You take it away!
Without me, your development would be maybe okay.
I kick aside thy words. I'm the most compelling one here!
You can try to duel me, but you'll end up kissing my rear!
BLUEBLOOD: Don't talk about compelling! Your character appeared
Only when you got a crush on Fluttershy, and out came your fear!
I'll take on all of your little squad of sunbutt dogs!
Firestorm and Freedom Fighter are all story hogs!
But I'm a legend in the canon as a big-time shot!
OCs like you disappear more often than not!
You're the blandest whitest knight on the site since Shining Armor,
Now for goodness' sakes, surrender, 'cause I've got you cornered!
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide!
Noble won.
And will you be making this into a normal thing if so how will the match ups be?
5122113
I intend to do one with each of the Guardians of the Sun, and the pony they'll go against will be a surprise. Aside from that, no, it won't be too regular.
Noble, no doubt
.
Noble clearly won, as for next Undyne Vs. Shining Armor
5122160
Who's Undyne?
5122172
Captain of the royal guard from Undertale. Look her up, I think you’ll find her very, very interesting
Noble won! XD
Honestly this was awesome. More!!!
5122175
I'm not a fan of Undertale, but I'll give it my best shot.
5122180
Knowing you, Undyne’s raps would be a piece of cake
I would say Noble won because he had better rhymes, but Blueblood got some good shots in.
5122564
I used your criticisms and my own observations to write his lines. I feel like Noble got roasted, but he pulled back pretty good.
This was really fun to read.
I have to be honest, I think Noble completely killed it with the rapping. Much more than Blueblood did anyway, because the latter’s seemed to lack rhythm and beat.
Pretty much shows he sucks at rapping, that’s for sure.