[Blog] Fic Reviews X(XX): A New Clop · 2:42am Mar 13th, 2018
(1-13) · (14-22) · (23-33) · (34-47) · (48-58) · (59-83) · (84-108) · (109-133) · (134-161) · (162-174) · (175-190) · (191-200) · (201-209) · (PCaRG)
So I went looking through my “To Do” bookshelf to find one final story for the Round 9 blog post, and I realized something.
There was a lot of clop on that list.
Weird clop.
And this being Round X, I felt the joke was obvious.
The only question is, how far am I willing to take it?
210. As if you could Stop Me by Violent (1/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Drugging, Incest, Non-Con, Date Rape, Impregnation
I knew it would be momcest going in, and though that's not generally my thing, I figured it wouldn't squick me too much. But then it turned into oedipal date rape, and that was a bit more than I was expecting. Fortunately, I’m spared the dilemma of scoring a fic that turns me off but it otherwise good (nothing quite like having to say “This was a great story, if only it wasn’t the creepiest foalcon”), because this one is pretty bad.
We open on descriptions of holiday crowds, which frankly are little better than a weather report opening, and the dialogue is stilted and awkward, particularly when it’s trying to be coy. Minor details get too much attention, which gives a feeling of being unfocused, and it’s plagued by spelling and grammar mistakes. The clop itself is uninspired beyond the rape/incest fetishes, and those are just in the setup. Most grating of all, Rarity’s son goes undescribed and even unnamed. All I can tell you is he’s some kind of explorer, and according to Rarity, has a bigger dick than his dad.
I can’t clop to this.
She giggled and suddenly covered her mouth to keep the infectious snot from contaminating anypony else.
That’s not the kind of clop I was expecting — but it might have been better than what I got.
No, really, I got a RarityXChangelings idea off of that.
211. Mistakes while Drunk by Violent (1/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Drunk Sex, Dub-Con, Foalcon, Incest, Impregnation
Oh hey, a fic from Violent again. I’m wondering why these were on the high-priority shelf, but I’m thinking he used to be with PCaRG and asked me to check them out?
Anyway, we’ve got momcest again, this time between MILF-fetishest favorites Button Mash and Whatever Fandom Name We’ve Assigned His Mother This Time. Not that this one ever names her. Anyway, it’s off to a great start with an awkward purple weather report opening. The whole thing winds up being really rushed, with some pretty silly plot holes to rush things into the sexy parts… which aren’t any sexier than in the first story. All in all, it’s pretty bad.
Also, the description claims Button is aged up, but I don’t buy it. He’s totally clueless about sex, to the extent of “It’s all hard what do I do” and not knowing where babies come from. Either Button is a child or mentally challenged, and it makes it exploitative in either case. Not judging if you like it, but don’t pretend it’s something it’s not.
I can’t clop to this.
(Also I meant to sort these by lowest views, but apparently I did lowest ratings. So hey, it can only get better from here, right?)
212. Folksong by Adda le Blue (3/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Drunk Sex, Violent Sex, Dub-Con, Emotional Trauma
Alright. First things first: This does not belong here.
I only say that because this blog is supposed to be all about clopfic, and this is decidedly not clop. There is a sex scene, yes — a very intense one at that, despite how confused it was.
However, what this fic is, is a purely emotional response to tragedy. The character’s actions are vulgar and self-destructive, but that’s just how she fought through her grief. I will say the story was extremely hard to follow in the first two thirds or so, but that can be a consequence of stream-of-consciousness writing, something I’ve done in the past, myself, with nearly as confused a result. Things become clearer in the end, and while I wouldn’t place it among my top stories, it turns out to be a solid, emotionally-driven piece.
213. Fancy Pants Buys a Hooker by HardRockLlama (3/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Handjob, Oral, Trap
Well, we’re on a two-streak of “Not Actually Clop”. But unlike the emotional drama of the last one, this is just trollfic. It’s decent trollfic, though. It also earns its Mature/Sex tags, since most of the story is, in fact, taken up by sex. However, it’s a pretty short fic, so there’s not really all that much even with it being the majority of the length, and what’s there is pretty rudimentary, more just serving to advance the story towards the punchline. I won’t say any more, to avoid spoiling the joke (not that it’s particularly hard to guess), but it’s not bad for what it is.
I can’t clop to it, though.
214. Cosmic Cock and Endless Balls by dirty little secret (4/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Breast Growth, Dick Growth, Ball Growth, BEYOND Hyper, Sex Battle, Futa
...god damn it.
More not-clop… Well. I guess you could maybe get off on this if you can get over the inherent silliness and sheer size alone is enough to get you going. Because this is random comedy, not clop, but that’s insufficient to describe the nonsense at hand here.
This is Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, but penises.
Like if the Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (pictured above) had a dick and whipped it out, you wouldn’t even be at the halfway point of this fic.
It’s mostly funny in concept and how over-the-top it is, so don’t expect jokes in every line or anything. But it’s still funny for that. Anyway, I like me some big dicks (there’s another item you can check off your “things I always wanted to know about Rinnaul but was too ashamed to ask” list), but this is just a bit too much for me to clop to it.
215. Benefits of the Job by Ivegotcats (2/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Futa, HiE, Pony-on-Human, 2nd Person, Ball Focus, BO/Musk, Oral, Cum Inflation
Well. Futa second-person HiE clop. I’m sure plenty of people will pass on this one for those tags alone, and to be honest, you’re not missing much. The whole thing is kinda bland and dull, and definitely rushed. It hit the points it wanted to hit, I think, but it never lingered on anything, and there was no buildup. There were other issues I had with dialogue, and a definite need for a quick proofread, but it’s the sparse narrative and poor pacing that are the real issues here.
I lack the motivation to clop to this.
216.Sex on the Beach by AzureDreamer (3/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Futa, Lactation, Anthro, Huge Dick
Hey, finally some decent, straightforward clop! I mean, I’m sure there are plenty of people turned off by those tags, but for the most part, these are the kind of things I like. I mean, mostly. Objectively, the only real issue is that is needs another editing pass. Typos rate about one per long paragraph.
When it comes to personal preferences, though, this was just a bit too vulgar for my tastes. And I mean that in two ways. First, swearing is just constant. It feels, at times, that there is not one thing in this fic that is not a fuckin’ thing. And after a while, the overuse of such language just feels crass and lazy. Second, on the spectrum of erotica from “tender caresses” to “fuck my brains out like I’m your cocksleeve”, I tend to favor the light and fluffy stuff. While this is hardly the roughest sex I’ve ever read (or even written), it is a bit more aggressive than I like (“savagely molests” is used on more than one occasion). That’s purely a matter of taste, but the scenes where it’s at the forefront also have a lot of repetitive description, and that’s a more solid problem.
This might rate higher for someone who’s more into an aggressive style, or just on grounds that it’s clop, but I refuse to hold writing to a lower standard just because it’s erotica.
That said, I could still probably clop to this.
217.Morning Wood by AzureDreamer (0/0 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Futa, Anthro, Incest, Hyper Dick/Balls, Ludicrous Amounts of Cum
“Condoms? Really? What exactly do you expect us to be doing while you're here?”
“Incest!”
“No! No incest!”
“But incest is wincest!”
...story checks out.
But really, this is the sequel to the previous story. It involves different characters in a different situation, but it’s the same “world” with similar themes (those “themes” mostly being anthro mares with giant dicks and fountains of cum, but whatever).
It’s fairly similar to “Sex on the Beach”, and a lot of the same strengths and weaknesses are present. However, the editing is a bit better (I noticed fewer typos, at least), and it tends more towards over-the-top sex comedy in the same vein as “Cosmic Cock and Endless Balls”. That is straddles the line between clopfic and trollfic also takes the annoyance out of the constant swearing, and it’s also one of the funnier things I’ve read recently, towards the end.
I kinda love this version of Cadance, too.
Anyway, it’s a bit too silly for me to clop to this.
218. Maternal Miscommunications by Klamnei (2/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: Hyper Pregnancy, Hyper Lactation, Growth
This one needs a bit of editing, and to really rethink some word choices (“womb” is used far more than it should be), but even then, I think it’s going to be pretty niche. The writing isn’t too bad, beyond those first two items, but the fetishes on display are taken to such extremes that I think they’ll just be bizarre to most readers. Take a look if those fetishes sound like your thing, but it probably takes it too far for the typical reader.
Personally, I can’t clop to this.
219. Sunset Stretch by ChronicleClop (2/5 — Complete)
Fetishes/Triggers: EQG, Futa, Dub-Con, Public Sex, Handjob
I had a different one ahead of this, but I didn’t want to read a 10K fic right now.
There’s not a lot to say, since the story is so short. It’s competently edited, since I can’t remember any errors without going back and searching for them. But with how short it is, there’s not much room for buildup or getting more in depth with the descriptions of the acts and how they feel. Plus, there were questions that just kept distracting me — mainly how this all happened without anyone noticing.
I could maybe clop to this.
I kinda want to write a longer fic off of the same idea, too.
Yes, I absolutely intend to do “The Clop Strikes Back” and “Return of the Clop” eventually. Will I one day get to “The Clop Menace”, “Attack of the Clop”, “Revenge of the Clop”, “The Clop Awakens”, and “The Last Clop”?
Probably not. I’m super lazy and unreliable.
But maybe, someday, if we all keep hope in our hearts, Rinnaul will once again complain about My Little Pony porn.
You should read my clop sometime. :V It will make you laugh.
4815696
I read the most recent one. I think I've read a couple others, too, but I can't remember which ones.
I hope you review some of my other clops sometime! ^.^
So hard to get in-depth reviews on this stuff!
And don’t worry -- that’s the only questionably-cloppable story on this account.
(Well, until the guy who commissioned an undertale crossover gets around to giving the images he said he’d do for it.)
4815714
I will eventually, and you just missed a second one in this batch. The "10k fic I don't want to read right now" was Team Bonding.
Aww, thanks for reading! I must admit that I was a little surprised when I clicked your Reviewed folder in my notifications and was suddenly buried in dicks and boobs. Still, better it was my first story, Folksong, that was caught up in the confusion instead of my latest.
And thanks for the review, too. I'm glad you enjoyed it even though you were expecting a different story. "Solid" is quite the compliment, especially considering the structure of the story. Maybe I'll revisit it someday and clean up some of the mess
says the author for the umpteenth time.4815780
It's what I get for just filtering to Mature & Sex and working my way up the list. I also wound up with two trollfics and a random comedy in the mix.
Also, a couple of your stories are on my RIL, so you'll show up again eventually, assuming I don't burn out and quit again.