Sneak Peek: This is a Stickup! Ponyville's first bank robbery. · 2:33am Dec 17th, 2017
It's in final editing stage now, but I'll let you take a peek before it gets published in a week or two. I got my inspiration (such as it is) from Admiral Biscuit's story, Golden Prize, about another MLP bank robber. The sneak peek text is below the break.
The first bank robber in Ponyville's history walked into the bank with only five bits in his pocket.
He walked out an hour later without a bit to his name, and owing twenty bits.
He considered himself lucky.
This is a Stick-Up!
“Here,” muttered Moneybags through the knife clutched in his teeth. He stuck the bag and the note under the bank teller’s window and tried not to look nervous. “Put the bits in the sack and nopony gets hurt.”
The elderly teller squinted at the note, then pushed it back through the window.
“You need to fill out a withdrawal form,” she wheezed. “No exceptions.”
“This isn’t a withdrawal,” he growled, still trying not to drop the knife. He stuck the note back under the window, only to have the wrinkled old prune shove it back.
“You fill out the form, and when I get back from my lunch break, I’ll get your bits.” She reached out one hoof over the ‘Teller Miss Decedent’ sign and tugged a cord, pulling down the blind.
He stood there, looking at the large letters ‘Closed’ for a moment, then tugged on the cord to make it lift back up and flap a few times. “Hey,” he shouted as loud as he could from around the handle of the knife. “Get back here, you old bat! This is a robbery! We don’t stop for lunch!”
It did not seem to make much of an impression on the rear end of the old mare as she hobbled down a narrow path between desks. She seemed headed in the direction of the back of the small building where more likely than not, the break room was located. Moneybags was about to shout again when a middle-aged stallion with a pure white mane scurried into view, his bright eyes shining and a broad smile on his face.
“Good morning, sir!” he called out with a quick glance at the tall bank clock ticking away time at the side of the lobby. “Or should I say, good afternoon? I’m terribly sorry, but you caught my teller at a bad time since her lunch hour just started. Can I help you, sir?”
Caught off guard, and a little puzzled that the happy stallion was ignoring the fact that Moneybags was wearing a mask and carrying a knife, he carefully stuck the note back under the teller window.
“Oh,” said the prim stallion as he read the note, his smile only getting broader. “A robbery! How exciting! You know, we’ve never been robbed before. Only the big towns like Alfalfaburg and Piccolo Falls ever get bank robberies. I can hardly wait to tell them! Yes, sir. Ponyville is getting bigger every day!”
The stallion abruptly looked up from the note, his golden eyes sparkling with happiness. “I’m so sorry, sir. Please, forgive me. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Silver Standard, owner of the Silver Standard Bank.” He stuck out a hoof to shake, but the teller window was in the way, so he did something behind the counter and the whole thing swung open like a door. “There we go, much better. Come on in, sir. So nice to make your acquaintance! Have a seat! Right here at the loan desk, since this is a sort of loan, correct?”
“Um… Yes?” Moneybags settled cautiously into the soft chair while the bank owner got busy behind the desk. This robbery was not going anywhere near what he had expected, and it just kept getting weirder. He placed the knife down on the desk, since holding it in his mouth was getting tiring, and looked around at the odd place. Even the quill pens at the desk were not chained down like in ordinary banks, but were connected to the inkwell by a thin piece of cotton thread, and labelled with a very small piece of paper reading ‘Ask about our Super Silver Saver program.’
A faint noise of disapproval made Moneybags look up at where the middle-aged bank manager was examining his ‘loot bag’ with a skeptical frown. “Oh, no. This simply can not do. The fabric is too thin and might tear under the weight of a suitable number of bits. I’d hate to send you away as an unsatisfied customer. Are you sure you don’t have anything more substantial, Mister…?”
“Moneybags,” said the aspiring robber before he could help himself.
“Excellent name, sir,” said the bank owner from around the quill he was using to write on a form. “It goes well with your cutie mark. Did you find your special talent robbing banks where you came from?”
“No, I actually stuck up a—” Moneybags blinked and turned his head to look at the form being filled out. “What’s the Super Silver Saver program?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” said Silver Standard, turning the form around and sliding it over to Moneybags. “With our Super Silver Saver program, you can put away a small portion of your monthly salary to grow for your needs in the future. After all, we’re not young forever. Before you know it, robbing banks will get more difficult as old knees creak and legs start slowing. Then you’ll be knocking over lemonade stands and hustling school children for lunch money. After that, what will you do with your life, young colt?”
Wait...
Who's robbing who now?
Oh, my, this is going to be fun!
Kek.
i.pinimg.com/736x/a9/89/a0/a989a0c3ab5943cf9db7a89e8b4d3b03--disney-disney-disney-love.jpg
Ponyville:
A friendly place to liveAbandon all sanity, ye who enter here.4750702
Yes.
Thief VS Salespony. Two irresistible forces in opposition, and one is already weakening!
Let's not mention that inflation is at a higher rate than the bank's interest, so the value of your savings is actually dropping...
This is obviously going to be another wonderful story by Georg, and I can't wait to read it.
I also can't wait to read that Princess Luna romance story you've been working on...
4750833
I've often heard that and it's true, but considering that some people live paycheck to paycheck or only have checking accounts with no interest accruing, wouldn't any interest accrued be better than nothing?
4750853
Well, certainly! If you're sinking, it's far better to sink slowly than quickly!
4750833 Historically, in economies with hard currency, inflation is very low. The transition from hard to soft currency can be very good for a country, or turn into a screaming ball of flames with sudden thousand point inflationary spikes. See John Law in France, 1719-1720. British banks had a motto (paraphrased): Borrow at two, lend at three, home by four.
4750802 Certainly.
4750752 Ponyville. Nothing Else Could Possibly Go Wrong Here.
4750853 Money in the mattress makes zero. (discounting gold bugs who think you should have a ton or so stuck there)
4750836 It's going to take a little. I do have about 12 chapters done, but expect it to run about 15. Dry Roast has to deal with many things, including Princess Twilight's diet:
She smiled just a little, much as if she was being held hostage, before adding, “Can I take your order? If you want, of course. Or I can wait a little longer—”
“Two super-sized hayburgers with extra onions, lettuce, and tomatoes, a side order of breadsticks, family sized, the extra-giant box of hayfries, a dozen corn poppers—” Twilight paused to take a breath “—a family sized onion rings, a double order of alfalfa cole slaw, and… a side salad and a large diet soda.”
Twilight gave Dry Roast a quick and somewhat guilty look before adding, “I skipped breakfast. And most of dinner last night. And I may have misfiled the sandwich Spike brought me for lunch yesterday under ‘S’ in the library.”
4750876
I feel ya Moneybags--the banks have robbed me too...
Well, Georg is at it again.... banks this time. eh?
4750957 Well, there's only one option left.
"So..." Railjammer looked at the masked pony who had forced his way into the engine compartment. "You're stealing my train."
"It's my train now," gloated the masked pony. "Take us to Canterlot!"
Railjammer looked at the long line of steel rails with no turnoffs that wound up the mountain, then back at the train robber. "You're from Ponyville, aren't you?"