A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner. Abacus Sum's new butt symbol (cutie mark), and possible additional changes to the story. · 11:49pm Oct 20th, 2017
Hey, guys.
Raptormon132 here. I just wanted to give you guys a new update on the story, "A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner".
First thing I wanted to say that I had made some new changes to Abacus Sum's butt symbol (cutie mark). In the story, I wrote that his cutie mark was a red and white abacus counting graph. Well, I had recently changed it to a wooden abacus counting frame with five rods, each having a different colored set of beads on it in a ordered row. Blue, red, yellow, green, and purple. Here's some before and after images, with the new image of Abacus Sum with his new cutie mark, as well as title image with his new mark.
Before:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1C2acTc4sRqSFZTdmY3dnZmbHM/view?usp=sharing
After:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B1C2acTc4sRqTV9INWMzaFZsZWc/view?usp=sharing
Before:
After
The reason I did this recent change is simply because the first design was actually very awful looking. So I did some looking around, and found an abacus Twilight used in the episode, Hurricane Fluttershy. So I took a screenshot of a certain part of the episode with the abacus graph in full view, and then I edited out with Photoshop. I hope this new change is okay.
Now for the second thing. So for sometime, I noticed a few people that have read the story have made complains about Storm Dasher's character being shamelessly abusive to Scootaloo, and how they say that Scootaloo suffers from stockholm syndrome, and whatnot.
So I'm trying to find a way to improve this somehow, but I don't really know how. I was thinking maybe making him be affected by alcohol in the chapters where he and Coco-Nut, and the rogue cops from Cloudsdale confront Abacus, and where Storm Dasher strikes Scootaloo and having shock at what he had done to her. In other words, make him a sort of semi-alcoholic due to depression of the loss of his wife, Firefly.
But like I said: I don't really know. I'm open to suggestions on how to make Storm Dasher's character better and fix these problems.
To be honest, I like the way Storm Dasher's character is. I mean, he wasn't meant to be an really abusive father. Just one who go mean and angry at the world. And just took it out on everyone. I get that. I don't think that needs to be change. I think you did well with that.
The new Cutie Mark Looks Good to me
4703787
Well, I still don't know. I know he was exactly abusive to Scootaloo, but I still feel I should change it a bit. Sometime ago, I got 2 reviews of my story that have pointed this out. Here are the links to them.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/202157/blunt-reviews-group/thread/312087/blunt-review-a-pop-star-a-princess-and-a-prisoner-by-raptormon132
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/201778/rage-reviews/thread/319970/rage-review-a-pop-star-a-princess-and-a-prisoner-by-raptormon132-complete
4703812
Awesome. I'm glad you like it.
BTW in case you didn't know, I republished the aftermath chapter of my story, Sex Play, but I should tell you that it's going to be in parts, and it's going to involve another victim from Ponyville that Glover and Gibson kidnap and rape, and the two griffons will be captured as they have this victims.
4703907
I will Read it when i have the Time
4703904
I guess. But I think it's good. You do what's best, though.
4703904 I read them. I am so mad right now!!!!
They clearly didn't understand the point of the story. They could of lease been more nicer about it.
4704554
Now you see why I feel the need to make changes. So that people can understand it. I won't lie and say that the reviews they did hurt me greatly, but after a while, I learnt from their criticism, and have been trying to find ways of how to fix some of these things.
4706279
I understand. I guess not everyone thinks deeply in a story.