• Member Since 19th Oct, 2015
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Blind Commentator, Actor, Voice Actor, Analyst/Reviewer, and Writer

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A Very Harsh Blow. · 5:06am Mar 4th, 2017

Hey, guys.
Raptormon132 here. And I've recently become quite saddened. Why? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell any of you.

You see since I've become a member of FIM Fiction, I have wrote 5 stories. 5 stories that I've put my heart and soul into. I enjoy people reading them, liking them, adding them to their favorites or bookshelves, and even giving feedback on them through comments. One of them, "A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner" has become perhaps my best and most well known story, and has formed a little cult behind it. But what if someone gave harsh words and disapproval of any story you wrote? Well, that has recently happened to me. :fluttershysad:

Yesterday, I joined and submitted my stories to a story reviewers group called Blunt Reviews Group. And they gave such great harsh words, and disapproval on 2 stories I wrote.

First they did a review on my story, The Stallion in the Suit. And boy, it was very blunt. It even got it's very first dislike. It didn't effect me that much at first, and they did say it was okay, so I didn't take it badly at all. But it was when they reviewed another of my stories not long after did it intensify.

The Blunt Reviews Group just did a review on my story, Twilight’s First Gift. And boy it wasn't just blunt, it was very cold. :pinkiesad2: :fluttercry:

It was there I realized that joining that group and getting my stories reviewed by these guys was a very big mistake. :applecry: If I would've known they would be like that, I never would've joined them and submitted any of my stories to them.
So I left that group, and deleted my other two stories I submitted to their folders to be reviewed. One of them being A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner. And thank god they didn't get to that one! I definitely do NOT want that one torn to shreds by those motherfuckers! :twilightangry2:

If you want to see their reviews, the links are below.


Their reviews on my stories have dealt me a mighty, painful blow to my confidence as a writer, and now I'm stricken with great hurt and doubt. :fluttercry: :applecry: :pinkiesad2: So much so that people would be lucky if I ever posted another story again.
So if you're like me and you ever want your stories seen, and even reviewed, be careful who you want them to be reviewed by. Don't make the same mistake I made, and get any of your stories reviewed by the Blunt Reviews Group, because believe me: "YOU WILL REGRET IT".

Note: I posted this on the Anti-Depression Ponies group as well.

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Comments ( 11 )

We still Love them dont stop writing we want more abacus sum.
And your an awesom writer and a perfect author:heart:
Love Silent echo.

Like Silent echo said, you're a great author and we love your stories! Becuase it's called the Blunt a Reviews Group, they do their best to leave a cold review- it's basically why the group's there. To criticize to the max. But remember, we, all of your loyal followers, are always there for you and never doubt your skill as an author. People love you and your stories, and support you. We care, and we love your stories, never forget that. :pinkiesad2:

(sniffles and wipes a tear) Thank you. Thank you all.

After time to think more into it, I rejoined that group, and I resubmitted A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner, and The Flaming Trash Bag to there review list. Now all I have to do is just wait, and hope for the best.

And to think it was the advice from people of the Anti-Depression Ponies group who commented on the forum I posted. I thank them for that. :twilightsmile:

4443292 hopp its gos well we are cheering for you.

Sorry to tell you that the reivew is up and after I read it I was surprised about it...

Maybe, you should take notes of these so that when your writing your next story you know what to look out for.

I just read it. And I will tell you. It was sloppy. He got so many things wrong, misunderstood things, and he didn't read it entirely, and missed out on vital information. I'm about to reply to his review.

4475347 It was sloppy... Don't let this hurt you, show them that you can get better and show them what your made of :pinkiehappy:

No. Seriously, it was. Let me show you the reply I was going to send to him.

I just read your review. And I have to say that it was both harsh and very sloppy (not including your thoughts on spelling, grammar, punctuation, consistency).

This is a blunt review of your blunt review of my story.

You say that Abacus Sum is a Mary Sue/Marty Stu. You overlooked that this is how the Main 6, and others in town saw him. And you also didn't read it well, because if you did, you would've known one vital thing about Abacus Sum. And that is he is mildly autistic. Lawful Eye states it in Chapter 4 (Part 1). The characteristics of autistic people is that they can be so good at what they do, that they seem perfect. Abacus was a accountant and tax agent, and his mild autism made him focused on it so much, that he became very good at it.
Then you said he was a "Purity Sue", because of him using violence to defend himself. You didn't see that he was psychologically damaged, and that it's one of the characteristics of someone who was wrongfully sent to prison.

Then you said Lawful Eye was a "Fixer Sue", who had to do this on her own. :facehoof: Again, you didn't read the story thoroughly, nor did you read the entire story from start to finish (which I'll get to that later). She did not do it all on her own. She had help from others to get Abacus out of prison. And when "she is "forced" to arrest Abacus on false charges trumped up by the corrupt Canterlot police force." :facehoof: Miscalculated again. It was 2 members of Cloadsdale police. And it was to show how variable even Lawful Eye was. Everyone has them.

Then there's the issue with the song I put in that Sapphire Shores sings, and how its horribly immersion-breaking, and possibly a violation of some copyright somewhere. It's non-prophet fan fiction. So who cares?

When Abacus finally gets out into town, he's repeatedly attacked by the townspeople, who then try to claim Abacus attacked them. And if that's not bad enough, Ponyville police officers are portrayed as the stereotypical brutal "pigs", and called such in the story by the Mane Six. They stage an attack on Abacus by several townsfolk, then try to arrest Abacus claiming that he assaulted the townsfolk. When Lawful Eye, herself a detective, and a member of the Royal Guard try to intervene and prevent the arrest, the author throws in some gibberish about the federal government forcing them to arrest Abacus. Then Twilight announces that Princess Celestia cannot do anything about it, since she doesn't care about anything involving just one pony, despite everything we've seen in the show demonstrating exactly the opposite. At this point, the story simply gets painful to read it goes off the rails so hard. and progressively worsens as it continues, descending well into the depths of Narm in the process, peaking with Abacus' escape from custody and threatened suicide.

You don't see that this is example of mob mentality towards someone who was (wrongly) convicted and sent to prison. When people are scared, or angry, it can cause them to jump to conclusions. And this can result for that someone to contemplate suicide.
"Ponyville police officers"? :facehoof: Once again you didn't read it well. Ponyville doesn't have a police force. Those "Pigs" you mentioned were from Cloudsdale, as I mentioned.
You thoughts on Twilight saying that "Princess Celestia cannot do anything about it, since she doesn't care about anything involving just one pony, despite everything we've seen in the show demonstrating exactly the opposite."
There's a bigger picture of it that you didn't see or were aware of. It was out of Twilight's determination to solve the problem on her own, without relying on the princess. Plus Spike was being the word of wisdom of suggesting Princess Celestia's help. And they were going to ask for Celestia's help anyway.

You really should have read the entire story before reviewing it. You said you only read it until chapter 19. And you say it's a bad story? By being lazy, and not reading it entirely, you missed out on vital things revealed to explain many things that would've possibly changed your thoughts on the story. I hate to be horrible to you, but your review of my story just showed how ignorant, short-sighted, and sloppy you are. There are so many things you missed, didn't understand, and got wrong. You really should've read the entire story more thoroughly, and finished it, because chapters 20 - 24 and Aftermath/Authors Speech has very vital things to the plot. If you would done that, you would understood more about it. But you just wanted to do it fast. Now because of you, my story is going to be hated by so many, after all that heart an soul I put into this story.

As Celestia said in A Canterlot Wedding: "You have a lot to think about."

Do tell me what you think of it.

4475405 Really good reply. I do agree with all of it and what the reviewer had miss, just should of have finish the story before doing the work.

I'm glad you think so. I'll post it to him straight away.

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